Chapter Seventeen: My Heart
There's nothing I can do
My heart is chained to you
And I can't get free.
-Apocalyptica, 'Not Strong Enough'
xxXxx
"The trouble started long before Baron's birth," Dona started, keeping Haru on her lap as she sat in the high back chair.
The lord in question was standing, leaning against the window closest to them with a somewhat nervous expression.
"Back then, all of the seasons were in perfect harmony with each other, and in order to keep that balance, each of the heirs spent one year as the ward of each of the other Keepers when they reach the age of fifteen."
"Do you mean one year spent rotating through the seasons, or one year with each season?" Haru asked curiously.
"One year with each season, so that when the heir in question reaches the age of eighteen, that birthday is also a celebration of the heir's return to their natural domain. In Thiris' time with Spring, he became friends with a healer called Luiz. Hardly anyone spoke of it because he was an heir, but his... unique appearance made any relations other than common courtesy difficult."
'So that's why he was shocked by my kindness.' "I'm guessing he became more attached to Luiz than she did to him?" 'Which would explain his reaction to me and Tsuge.'
"Quite right, my dearest. She had her heart set on Guil, Baron's father, and had tried to tell Thiris she only wanted friendship more than once, but he always seemed certain that he could change her mind. But then Guil came back before Thiris' time in Spring was over, and Thiris was forced to watch Guil eventually choose Luiz as his mate. It is forbidden for anyone to challenge for a mate before turning eighteen, but nothing was able to force Thiris to stay long enough for the wedding."
Haru snuck a look at a still apprehensive Baron. "So, that's it? In revenge for not 'getting the girl', he's messing up her child's chances?"
"You are rushing ahead of the story, Haru. Please let me finish."
She nodded, hugging Dona around the neck.
"It is customary for a celebration to be held at the birth of a new heir, and I am told that at first Thiris seemed to be in control of himself at Baron's celebration, but when it came to be his turn to present a gift, he instead tore out the babe's ability to love."
"Whoa, wait, what?" Haru yelped, hopping off her lap in surprise.
Baron quickly joined her side, soothingly rubbing his gloved thumb against the back of her right hand while asking Dona something.
"There's no way he could-"
"Please wait, Haru," her second mother urged, giving her lord a good idea of where she was in the story.
Baron's expression became haunted as he almost possessively wrapped his arms around her.
"There, you see that?" Haru demanded, feeling her face turn warm beneath her fur. "Baron's one of the most loving people I've ever met! Wait, his father got his ability back, right?"
Dona shook her head mournfully. "Wrong. Thiris had spent his time since the rejection to study the darkest arts our world had to offer. It had been commonly thought that there was no magic that could manipulate or remove someone's emotions, but Thiris somehow found a way. Taking Baron's love was only the first step. He managed to put all guards but his own under a deep sleep in order to inform Baron's parents of his fate without interference."
"Is he sick?" escaped her lips worriedly.
The obsidian laughed sadly. "Let me finish, dear heart. In order to fully punish his rival, Thiris planned to use a new magic he invented to send Baron's love out of this world, as far as it could go. He tied a spell to Baron's love so that it would have no choice but to seek for a pure-hearted host. Once it found one, the host would immediately become bound to Baron, enabling him to watch the girl as her own reflection could."
Haru gasped in surprise. "Hold-"
Dona came forward to cover her mouth. "There is more. The host would be allowed to live for four years as the object of Baron's affections, with him falling more in love with her every day. When the four years were up, the spell would then attack the body until the tie between flesh and spirit was severed. Then Baron was to kill himself to finally be with the Keeper of his heart."
"... Me," Haru whispered as Dona uncovered her mouth.
"Indeed. Guil tried to stop Thiris from sending the spell, but was unsuccessful. This act started a war between Winter and the rest of the seasons that lasted several years. Eventually the few followers of Winter that survived the battles begged for Thiris to end the spell, but he refused. They then abandoned him to join the other seasons, leaving him with no one but the likes of Churgoth for company, though today was the first hint that he didn't stay willingly. Renal- that is, Muta and myself were among those to leave after losing everything but each other. The war officially ended back then, but no one ever forgot that the reason was still living within that cold wasteland. Winter was once a place of joy, but Thiris' rule has changed it drastically," she added, looking extremely depressed over the fact as she gazed at her new daughter. "No one has seen him since we left Winter six years ago, but I am most grateful that you have not been harmed. I do not know what I would do if Thiris had taken you from us so soon."
Haru started swaying slightly in horror. Baron noticed and had her comfortably sitting in the high back chair in record time. He held one hand to her forehead worriedly, but she could barely notice.
"The night Thiris' spell hit you was the same as Baron's eighteenth birthday. By then his father had relaxed enough about the spell to hope that he could at least live to a ripe old age before the spell found its mark. He and the other Keepers tried as hard as they could to introduce Baron to the loveliest girls they could find, but not a single one could keep his attention."
'I definitely don't have that problem.'
"I was in the crowd the exact moment the spell hit you, just as the celebration was drawing to a close for the night. We were afraid that his heart was giving out on him at first." Then Dona paused, asking Baron something very politely.
A warm reminiscing smile was his answer, striding to the usual window while taking off his glove again. Within seconds, Haru could see a smaller version of herself sprawled unconscious on her bedroom floor. The angle stated that the view was from her favorite window, swaying slightly in the wind. The unpacked boxes around her made it clear that it was within the first month in the house she spent most of her life cleaning and playing in. Her somewhat long hair did nothing to hide her sweetly innocent face.
Baron gave an adoring smile to the reflection as Dona sighed heavily.
"It was the first time anyone saw him look at a female for more than a minute. His father was more than scandalized that you were but a child, and such an odd looking thing. By our people's standards, of course," she added hastily with a nervous smile. "I am certain you were quite charming to your own people."
'If I were, I wouldn't have grown up alone.' "I-I recognize the pink overalls," Haru said shakily. "But wouldn't I remember something out of the sky hitting me that hard?" 'How did I avoid a concussion?'
"Thiris specifically designed the spell so that you would not remember the incident, and that you would remain oblivious to Baron's gaze. He also made it impossible for Baron to understand or learn a single word you say, but you soon overcame that with your own magic."
Haru looked up sharply. "I didn't have magic in my world, or at least enough to do much with it."
"Oh? Then how do you explain what you did to Churgoth? Our kind certainly cannot do anything like that," Dona informed her with a gentle smirk.
'I will assume she's talking about the giant wolf.' "That was just music, but I'm not sure how I was able to look into his mind or blast him away like that. Are you saying music doesn't exist here?" she asked incredulously.
"We have no equivalent to your 'mew-sic', which is why anyone from this world can understand you, but only when you use it."
After a second of thought, Haru turned to her feline beau as he was pulling his glove back on. "Can you hear me?"
Baron's smile was wide as he nodded, not able to resist the newest urge to squeeze her like a favorite toy.
Haru didn't quite hug him back as hard as she had earlier. "You said four years. That first impression looked more like eight years."
"Baron has mentioned that time passes more quickly in your world than ours." She stopped to ask him something that was quickly confirmed. "He has calculated that two of your years indeed count for one of ours."
"That explains why days used to be so long around here," Haru muttered under her breath, still not quite hugging Baron back. "So... everything was going to Thiris' schedule until Tsuge talked me into singing Frankenstein, which inspired Baron to make me a body out of your blood and Muta's before dragging my soul here?"
"Well, 'drag' may be a little harsh of a word," Dona replied evasively.
"I remember the tugging after I suffocated to death. It wasn't taking no for an answer."
Her second mother's eyes became huge with shock. "You remember being dead?" she whispered.
"Every. Single. Detail." It was only then that she could bring herself to give Baron a desperate embrace to try to push those memories back to the mental closet they had escaped from.
With horror, Dona relayed exactly why her charge was suddenly upset. Haru couldn't see her beau's expression, but his own embrace turned almost harsh as he lovingly ran his hand over her longer head fur.
He was apologizing, she could tell that without translation, but Dona provided one anyway.
"Baron says that it tore him apart, that your best hope to live past that day was to let you die. He would have been more than happy to try something else if a better option had presented itself, but even this much is nothing short of a miracle."
Haru stared down as she released her admirer, feeling like a moron. 'Of course someone like Baron wouldn't really want me. I should have known from the beginning that something was off.'
The tawny feline looked at her worriedly, brushing his hand over her cheek in a soothing manner.
She grabbed that hand, taking it from her face in order to just hold it. 'I can't go through with this now. I thought I was going to be okay with eventually marrying him, but-'
"Haru, darling?" Dona asked while worriedly rubbing one of her daughter's shoulders. "I know this is a lot to absorb, but what is wrong? It has been some time since you have had that look on your face."
The younger feline managed to look up at her second mother with a wan smile, releasing his hand. "I've been wondering since coming here how Baron knew about me, or why he cared enough to be willing to go this far for us to be together. But I liked it better when I thought Baron really loved me."
Her second mother was flabbergasted. "But he does! You have heard what I said, have you not?"
"Every word. It's… just… not the same, knowing he's cursed to love me."
"He considers it a blessing."
"Of course he does, he's cursed to feel that way."
"Oh, Haru, please do not hold this against him," Dona pleaded, holding the girl's face between her hands. "If you had not taken up your magic to speak of second births or he did not inherit his mother's healing talent, Baron never would have been able to bend the curse like this. He saved both of your lives by bringing you here."
The younger feline closed her eyes painfully. "It's dishonest. I mean, I'm practically taking advantage of him!"
Dona gave her a look of complete horror. "Y-You are not going back on your promise, are you?"
"What promise?" Haru couldn't help but ask.
"You told Baron you would agree to be his mate soon. He says you kissed his cheek last night."
Haru felt her eyes grow as round as dinner plates. 'Uh oh.'
"What did you think that meant?" Dona asked at Haru's fearful expression.
"... In my world, it's meant as an innocent expression of affection. Oh boy, no wonder he got that excited when I kissed him," she groaned, covering her face as a headache threatened to surface.
Baron asked something worriedly, making Dona exchange words with him for a little while before answering Haru again, although she looked plenty shocked.
"He is fully aware that the action means little on your planet, but he has also taken into account your shyness, which he says has only increased since your arrival to our world. He believes that if you have overcome it enough to kiss his cheek, then it means the same thing regardless."
Her cheeks flared hot underneath her fur, but couldn't think of a suitable reply to that. Especially since her little crush on him was why she hadn't taken the escape route Thiris tried to offer her.
"My dearest, it will break him if you go back on your word, cursed or not."
"Hey, I've kissed Muta's cheek and you didn't get angry," she pointed out with narrowed eyes peaking through her fingers.
"That is between father and child; completely acceptable and proper. He would protest if you stopped, as would I," she added with a soft smile.
"Like Baron would protest if I stopped hugging him?" she asked tiredly. "Or stop letting him hug me?"
"You would not! Haru, if you allow this fear to rule you, Thiris wins. He has devoted the past twenty two years to ensuring that Baron would be denied the same happiness that Thiris could never find. You have the power to take Baron's hope and destroy it in mere seconds. Do you really want to do that to him after everything he has done for you?"
Haru tiredly sat down on the high back chair, holding her head between her hands. "You don't have to remind me what I owe him. Sending me the thorns outside my home for protection when no one else was worried about my safety, giving me a set of adoring parents that I couldn't beat away with a stick-"
"Although I fail to see why you would want to," Dona couldn't keep from teasing as she knelt next to the high back chair to take one of her daughter's hands.
Haru smiled at that before continuing. "Not to mention the fact that he's never really pushed me past my limits, found ways to answer my questions when he could, and defended me when the other Seasons clearly didn't approve of my presence in this world. That was what they were complaining about earlier, right?"
"That was the trouble they initially saw, but you were even more convincing than Baron was to make them realize you have a place here. But you are forgetting the body he fashioned for you," she prodded gently.
"Though he got help from you and Muta for that. But to be perfectly honest, Dona, I hold you personally responsible for the fact that I make a prettier cat than a human."
Grinning, Dona turned to say something to Baron.
"Don't tell him I said that!" Haru protested in horror, reaching over in order to cover her second mother's mouth.
Baron was suddenly very interested in what they were saying, looking between the two females with a hopeful expression.
"No, don't you dare. Don't you dare tell him!" Haru ordered in a panic, keeping her hand over her second mother's mouth.
The obsidian cat sighed around the fingers and managed to pry them off. "I will hold off for now." She then said something to Baron, but his disappointment made it clear that she was keeping her word.
Dona then turned back to Haru, a little bit of worry still on her fair features. "If you are aware of your debt to him but do not wish to ignore the curse, what do you plan to do?"
Haru growled under breath. "I don't have a single clue. If I wanted out of marrying Baron, I would have let Thiris take me away-"
"He tried to what?!"
Haru jumped a bit, although she should have expected that reaction. "Um, Thiris tried to convince me that Baron was a psychotic stalker that killed and brought me here so that he can have a child by me that would be powerful enough to conquer the other Seasons. He had a place set up for me to spend the rest of my life hiding from Baron." She blinked in comprehension before she burst out laughing. "Wow, that sounds a lot more clichéd when you remove his fancy wording!" 'Was I really that close to believing him?'
The Keeper of Spring was insistent on learning what she was laughing about, but by the time Dona was finished, he wasn't precisely sharing her mirth. His eyes were dark as a venomous growl escaped his throat.
"Um, if it will help Baron's humor at all, I threw Thiris against that wall in surprise when he let me know he was in here," Haru offered, pointing at the painted surface in question.
Dona wasted no time relaying the message, which helped him smile a little.
"And when he tried to feed me those weird hot sauce berries to leave, I got him to let his guard down before punching him through the mirror. I had to use a guitar riff to make it hard enough to knock him out."
Baron was fighting back an affectionate chuckle when he lifted her completely out of her seat in order to keep her from escaping another hug. He nuzzled her longer head fur happily as Dona told him something that had a pretty serious tone. Baron answered her, his tone as steady as a rock as he continued to hold the ex-human like a priceless treasure.
"He refuses to give up on you, Haru. He is flattered that you care this much for his free will, but would appreciate it if you would not worry anymore. He is quite happy loving you the way he has for years."
"I'm certain he is," Haru muttered under her breath, trying hard not to think about how comfortable his arms were right now. She took a deep breath and sighed. "I think we've made as much progress as we're going to for now. But just to be on the same page, Baron can't understand a word of my language unless I'm singing?" she asked while signaling for him to put her down.
Although he clearly didn't want to, he gently set her back on her feet. Suddenly looking at the mirror's remains, he waved his hands and whispered something to make the shards rise up and become a solid piece inside the frame once more.
'Holy cow, what can't this guy do?'
"That is correct," Dona confirmed with a nod, acting like putting the mirror back together was nothing special. "He has tried to learn many times, but the curse is strong enough to even overpower this amulet. It has long been a source of frustration for him. He wanted to encourage you to ... sing when you first came here, but suspected that your power would be unstable at first. He wants to understand you, but not at the cost of bending the natural magic keeping everyone else safe. Oh, and he has mentioned that you would be extremely shy about sharing your gift for even he did not know how long."
'I have to give him credit; he does know me better than my own species ever did.' "… But I can learn his," she realized, staring at the charm around Dona's throat. "I can catch bits here and there, but languages have never been my strong suit. Ask him if he can reverse the spell on the necklace."
"I beg your pardon?"
"Make it so that instead of one of your kind understanding me, I can understand everyone else. That should work better than just using it like we are now, right?"
Her eyes lit up as she quickly passed on the message.
No translation was needed. The comprehending smile on his face was more than an answer. He exclaimed something in delight, picking up Haru to swing her around like she weighed nothing at all.
"He is calling you a genius," Dona translated with a large smile.
Haru couldn't help but laugh at that. "He's the first without referencing my music. You and I are overdue for a nice long chat without a third person, with no offense to Dona," she informed him, giving the woman a sidelong look.
The obsidian was more than happy to translate, making the tawny feline nod in complete agreement before stealing another kiss on her cheek.
'Baron kissing my cheek must be the equivalent of a guy back home saying 'dibs'. Well, I already suspected that much. Maybe 'serious dibs because she dibbed me first because I made myself extremely available for dibs'?' The thought made her crack a smile against her will.
The smile vanished as a loud crashing sound came from deeper within the castle. There were soon other crashes, each sounding more violent than the last one. Baron looked up with an alert expression, setting her aside in order to march through the door with an order on his lips.
Haru made to follow him, but Dona's hand grabbed her wrist as her admirer closed the door behind him.
"Thiris is likely trying to escape. Baron would rather you waited for his return."
"Hey, we both know I can help," Haru protested. "You were at the meeting, you saw what my music can do!"
"Please, my dearest. Humor us this once. Thiris is well known for unorthodox methods of attack."
"I'm shocked no one says the same thing about me," she grumbled under her breath as her second mother led her back to the high back chair and made the girl sit on her lap again.
"The people have very mixed thoughts for you," Dona admitted, snuggling her tightly. "Some of them are grateful for the curse being bent in a way that we did not need to lose Baron and that he was able find a mate after all, others believe that you are unfit- but they are wrong!" she defended before Haru had a chance to agree with them. "You are more than fit, and anyone that says otherwise has only jealousy for comfort! I have known it since the moment I saw you in my mate's arms like a newborn. Your first parents did not deserve you."
Haru looked down at her lap. "They apologized the day before I died. We at least got a little time together."
"They should not have left you alone like that," she snarled. "Baron says he never so much as saw them smile or embrace you until that last day. You deserve more than one day of affection!"
Haru closed her eyes in pain. "I definitely wanted more than one day. They admitted to letting their stupid fight get in the way for too long, and if I didn't die, they would have done better. If they hadn't taken the one day, I would have died alone, and that…" Haru hugged her second mother around the neck, fighting back tears for the life that had been torn from her. "... That would have been the only thing to make it worse. I'm still theirs, but now I'm yours and Muta's, too. And if nothing could stop my death, I'm glad I got to come here and be your daughter. Even if I had known back then what I know now, and Baron could have let me pick my cat parents, I would have definitely chosen you and Muta. Both of you are just so... I can't even think of a good enough word. Thanks for letting me be your daughter."
Dona broke down crying on her shoulder, squeezing Haru like she was the only solid thing left.
"Plus I like it when you play with my hair… head fur… you get the idea," Haru finished with a shy smile, nuzzling her second mother affectionately.
The obsidian nuzzled her right back, still crying harder than the girl had seen before.
"Mmh, Dona?" she asked, feeling a bit of morbid curiosity after a few minutes of comfort. "When... when Baron took your blood... did it hurt?"
"It was worth it," her mother managed to say after regaining her breath and using a handkerchief to dry her eyes. "Every last drop. But Baron made sure to make the process as painless for us as possible every time he needed more blood." Dona somehow managed to squeeze her a little harder. "The two months it took him to make the body were quite difficult, since we were sworn to secrecy-"
"Whoa, what?" Haru yelped, sitting up in surprise.
"Yes, we couldn't risk Thiris finding out about Baron's plan and allow a possible sabotage, so Renal- that is, Muta and I promised to keep your possible arrival a secret to all. It was obvious to even the ones that did not know what he was up to that all three of us were exhausted the entire time, though my mate and I had the loss of blood for blame."
The brown feline made a strangled sound before taking a breath to calm herself. "Let me get this straight," she said with a shaking tone. "Baron managed to make me a body in two months time, armed with nothing but blood and magic, just for the possibility that he could bring my soul here? He wasn't even certain he could do it?"
Dona nodded with a dead serious expression. "He mentioned having a different idea of how to help your conditions on your first world before you told him of second births, but this plan was the best hope you had, not just for a life, but one of happiness and love. Well, half a life, in any case."
Haru cocked her head in surprise. "What is that supposed to mean?" she asked suspiciously.
"You saw how Churgoth gave his own life for Jukan earlier today? Baron gave you half of his own life in order to seal the bond between your new body and your soul. The lightning was only enough to keep your soul in place until Baron could finish the sealing, though none of us expected the raw power to cling to you so."
Haru's jaw dropped in complete shock, surprised that anything could surprise her anymore.
"He never would have dreamed of asking someone else to die for you, and he only kept the half so that he could share a life with you and he did not want you to be alone in what to you is a strange new world. Is there a greater declaration of love?"
… No.
"My darling, he truly does-"
Baron came through the door just then, wearing a horrible scowl while using a handkerchief to brush off the thick ice shards covering his fur and clothing. He had to be careful with the ones in his fur, since parts of his clothing were coming off with the icicles.
"Did he get away?" Haru asked worriedly, standing up in order to move closer to him as Dona likely asked the same thing in her own tongue.
Baron growled an irritated response, giving the younger woman a helpless look that she had seen before.
I tried.
'Does he do anything less?' Haru gave her suitor a big hug to help warm him up. "I doubt you or anyone else made it an easy escape, Baron. Maybe next time you should let me help," she teased with a small smile, although her heart was still heaving from what he had given up for her.
For them.
Dona passed on the message, although looking at Haru with surprise. "How can you stand being that close to ice shards? All that body knows is Spring."
She gave an indelicate snort before squeezing an extremely thankful and affectionate Baron. "Seasons change on my world. I've been colder than this without a fur coat."
'In fact... the ice doesn't bother me at all.'