Prompt: #4 Joy

Summary: The simple joy of him being there.

Joy

Every time he goes away on a delivery that would take him more than a day away from home, she gets anxious. Anxious and jittery to the point that she's constantly checking the clock or looking nervously at the door whenever someone entered the bar. Sometimes the person could just be walking past the door and her eyes would leap in that direction, only to be disappointed that it wasn't him. She can't help it really. It didn't matter that he'd promised to be better at not leaving her when it wasn't necessary. It didn't matter that he was keeping that promise. It didn't matter that he was getting a lot better at not only answering, but also calling, on the phone either. She still got anxious whenever he needed to be away for so long. She'd gotten so used to his disappearing acts that it was the first thing she expected he would do.

Like today how she's been reacting today. Last night he had called to tell her and the kids to have sweet dreams for his nightly check in and said that he should be back by this afternoon. Sure, she'd been excited to hear him say that and the kids had cheered about it, but as the morning stretched to the noon hour and no revving rumbles from Fenrir's engine echoed to them from the alley, the old anxiety and resignation starts slowly slipping back. She makes an effort to put on a brave front and a sure smile when the kids run in from school and tries to be convincing when she repeats Cloud's words about being home. But just in case, she makes sure to bake them a plate of cookies to munch on and enjoy as they do their homework around the kitchen table while she does her prep work for the full evening at the bar. Just in case he didn't show up afterall.

She's not upset. Really, she's not. She understands how hard things are for him. Cloud never had a childhood and he lost two years that are crucial to the development of any boy to grow into a young man. She gets it. She gets that he has a multitude of scars, both emotional and physical, and that sometimes coming home to either a boisterous bar or two energetic kids is a little too much at times. She knew he needed to get away from time to time. Everyone was entitled to a little "me" time and Cloud more than most. It's just that, she needs him. She's always needed him and despite how messed up he thinks he is, he would always be what she needed. It's just really stupid of her not to be able to tell him that. But then what if it's something else. Maybe there was something that she couldn't provide him. Which had been why he had gone to Aerith's church during such a crazy time, instead of coming to her. Maybe she wasn't what he needed.

Though she may not be upset, what she is, is hurt. Maybe leaning closer to crushed. Crushed that she obviously isn't enough for Cloud that he seeks solace at Aerith's church, among her pretty flowers. Not that she is jealous. Not really. She loved Aerith as much as everyone else did. There wasn't anything to hate about Aerith. But it was becoming clear that Cloud was torn between her and Aerith. No matter that the other woman was dead. As much as she tries and as much as she knows that Cloud cares for her, she just doesn't like the feeling of inadequacy that he evokes in her. It's not Cloud's fault, but she's not sure what to do to change all this.

Then, there it is. The sound that she's been straining her ears all day for. The loud roaring approach of only one person. She's fallen in love with that sound. Her heart starts beating faster and an excited flush spreads across her cheeks as the engine sounds just outside before it is abruptly cut off. Marlene and Denzel are already running towards the door and she's suddenly paralyzed, with her hands covered in soapy water with a mug in mid rinse. She has a short moment of panic because she can't remember what she looks like, before the door opens with Denzel motioning in a Marlene tugged Cloud.

He pauses just inside the doorway and gives her a small smile that fills her with such joy that any words of greeting are stuck in her throat.

"I'm home."

And just like that, all her anxieties go away.