Prompt: #8 Promise

Summary: It's time to make them stick.

Promise

"Do you trust me?"

That, was the ultimate question, wasn't it? Did she trust Cloud? To protect her, yes. To be the one to guard her and save her, absolutely. But, not in everything. Even though he was trying. He was really trying and she kicks herself for always doubting him anyway. For always being so insecure about his feelings. She knows that he loves her. He's never said it, but she can feel it. But she also knows that he cares and loves everyone. A part of her knows that she's more special to him than most. He's shown and he's said as much already. So it makes her feel like a needy girl that sometimes, she still gets doubtful. She should be more understanding, shouldn't she? He was trying and she still got anxious whenever he went away. Which, couldn't keep happening.

She looks up into his face and she knows that he can see what she's thinking. He knows what her hesitation means and that she's inadvertently hurt him.

Way to kick a man when he's already down, she berates herself mentally.

She could lie and say, "Of course I trust you!" and put on a big fake smile, but he'd know she was lying if she did. Then, he would feel even more guilty because she felt she had to lie. A couple years ago and she would have done just that though. Just put on a cute smiley face and offered him a denial. But she's not a girl anymore. She's older. She's a woman now. Which means that Cloud was a man and not a boy that she needed to protect. Doing that giggly, smiley stuff wasn't going to cut it to appease him. They were not only lovers, they were life companions and that's just not how to go about problems in their relationship. Covering it up with false smiles and feigned nonchalance.

So, she just sighs. Because of what she has to say.

"Cloud, you know I trust you with my life," she states softly, making sure to keep her eyes locked on his as she says it.

"But not with everything else," he adds grimly. He's disappointed, but not in her and he's so compassionate of her feelings that it hurts her heart.

"I'm trying to," she admits, with a little pleading in her tone. "I'm trying. Really, it's just... it's hard."

"I know it is," he reassures. "I'm trying too."

"I know and it's not fair because I know you're trying. But it's still there," she says, urging him to understand. "I'm trying, but it's not something I can just switch off and it's frustrating. You're being so wonderful but still... I'm sorry!"

"Don't," he says softly, bringing a hand up and cradling her face. "I know. I know and it's my fault that you're doubting in the first place. This isn't your fault at all, Tifa."

"Maybe it is," she mutters softly, looking away from his eyes. "Maybe it's because I'm not good enough."

When he doesn't say anything, she keeps going.

"Maybe I'm not what you need. Maybe that's why you didn't come to me before and you went to her. Maybe it is me afterall." When she finally works up the nerve to look at him when he continues in silence, she realizes that before this moment she has never really seen Cloud mad before. He almost looks murderous and the hand holding her face so gently, is trembling with his simmering anger.

"Tifa," he nearly growls and she can hear the tremor of his rage, in his voice. "You've always been worth more to me than Aerith."

The direct mention of the flower girl's name startles her. She has no idea why when she had mentioned it first. The other woman had always been a barrier between them. She's never been vindictively jealous of how Aerith had always flirted with Cloud and not even so when she realized Cloud had fled to the her church for solace. But there's never been any doubt that the loveable girl with the enviably beautiful braid, had always been a block for them.

"Didn't you know that?" he asks, bringing his other hand up to hold her face fully and peers into her face.

She bites her bottom lip uncertainly.

"I'll take that as a no," he sighs and brings his face forward to touch his forehead to hers. "That's my fault too."

She feels even more guilty that she can't even deny it, because it's true. He's never said anything to make her think otherwise. Not directly, anyway. But that could also be counted as her fault by telling him that words weren't necessary.

This was such a mess.

"You don't have to regret loving her," she says. "She wasn't someone you could resist loving. I loved her too." She finds herself fingering the familiar pink ribbon that they both wore, on his arm.

"You're wondering if I would've chosen her, had she lived, aren't you?"

"Yes." She's not going to deny that now either.

"Do you think I'd marry her, knowing that it would mean you'd be free to one day marry someone else too? Then I'd have to stand by and let it happen?" he asks, looking into her wine colored eyes intensely. "Do you think I joined SOLDIER and worked so hard, so I could one day watch you marry someone else?"

"Circumstances change," she reasons sadly. "Feelings change too."

"My feelings for you have never changed," he says bluntly. "And I couldn't have ever married Aerith. Ever."

She doesn't ask why, but she doesn't need to because he answers before she can.

"I heard Zack's voice in my head," he confesses. "That alone would have been awkward, even if I was tempted."

She has no idea what to say to that.

"Just promise me one thing," he asks.

"What?"

"That you'll continue giving me a chance to prove myself to you. Promise me you'll let me earn your trust again."

How could she ever reject that?

"I promise," she says faithfully. "I promise."

"Thank you," he says, kissing her nose lightly before pulling her tighter against him.

She savors the closeness of him and inhales his masculine scent appreciatively by burrowing her nose into the crook of his neck.

"I never told you I heard them hovering over me when I was in the Lifestream briefly."

"Heard them? Not seen them?" she asks, pulling away enough to look at his face. He had never said anything about this before.

"I felt a hand on my forehead and Aerith speaking, even though I didn't realize it was her at the time."

She gulps that knowledge down, unsure of where he was going.

"I called her mother."

"What?" she asks, startled. That was the last thing she expected him to say.

"Do you think I could have romantic feelings for someone I would call mother?"

Put like that, she feels very stupid but a large part of her feels healed by that too. Instead of saying any words, she decides to show her appreciation and her understanding, using the way she had suggested they do so long ago.

She hugged him.