He had to go it alone. That was what he had told her at least. Belle had accompanied him and Baedden to the bus station but once there, he had insisted on doing the final part of the duty alone. She remained behind, outside the station, sitting on a bench with the book she had tucked into her purse before they'd left.

She'd known. Of course she had. Belle, he was finding out, had a sort of sixth sense about her. She just simply knew. There had been no offense taken, just a squeeze of the hand and a I'll be right out here waiting for you and a small, sad smile.

So he had gone in alone, one hand guiding his son by the shoulder. It was strange returning there. It had only been two weeks since Baedden had arrived. Two weeks, as always. But something had changed this time. Belle, his mind told him. Belle was what had changed this time. He had expected his son to resent her, to ignore her. Instead she had drawn the boy out. He had barely played his video games in the remainder of their time together. Oh sure, he had played them some. But not like he did the previous years. He set them aside, he came out to watch the dogs and the sheep, and mostly he interacted.

It was a dream come true.

He'd have to find some way to thank Belle.

Gold had been heading back from the ticket booth to get his son's ticket and sign the waiver that allowed him to travel unaccompanied, when he felt a tug at his sleeve. Stopping, he turned to look at Baedden who had somehow managed to shuffle to a stop without his quite noticing.

"What is it, Bae?" He cringed at the name, waiting for the correction. He had been careful to not call him by name in his time visiting, though he noticed that Belle's occasional use of his given name didn't quite seem to faze him the way he expected it to.

"I don't want to go back."

The words caused his heart to drop into his stomach even at the same time he felt that if he just leapt, he'd be able to fly. "What…" he started to say, ran one hand through his hair. "What are you saying?"

"I want to live here." The words were resolute.

"With me?"

The boy nodded. "And Belle," he added, almost shyly.

Belle…she was the catalyst for all this, certainly. His son had never opened up to him, never expressed anything but a sort of quiet disdain and irritation. True, he'd never seemed to feel anything but that for his mother as well. But he had always hoped that he would want to stay with him.

And now he was asking for it.

His son was asking to come back to him, to come home.

"Well, Belle's…" He ran a finger through his hair. Belle was…something…to him. Even he couldn't deny it. Feelings crept up at the oddest time, that strange swelling his heart, a sort of emotional fullness that he couldn't remember ever experiencing. And now…more…more something.

And more dread.

Because if Belle left him.

And he couldn't win custody of Baedden, then what was left to him? Dust and ashes of a life that was almost perfect.

"You love her, don't you Dad?" There was no ulterior motive to the word, all guile and the innocence of youth.

"Well…" he started to say.

"You do, Dad. I know it." His son was adamant. And he couldn't really deny it, could he? That was what he was feeling, mixed up somewhere with pain and hurt and abject terror. If he could admit it to himself. Which he couldn't. Not really. There were things he wasn't ready for, like feeling his heart pierced clean through.

And this time it would hurt more.

He wasn't sure he ever loved Milah, not really at least. She was a hard woman to love, all sharp edges and just a little bit too much anger. His younger self had understood the anger, the lashing out at the world, and had connected to it. But love? He's not really sure anyone could love Milah. Not wholly and completely.

But Belle deserved at least that much. And more. She deserved someone whole, someone happy, someone who could give her everything she needed and not just years of strife.

"Dad?"

Gold blinked. "Sorry son."

Baedden just shook his head. "I have to get on now."

It took him a moment to figure out what he meant, but then he heard the announcement. Final boarding. His son was being taken back to his mother, back to that home where he knew he wasn't as loved as he could be, away from him. Again.

"Right." He didn't move. He couldn't.

"Dad," his son said and pushed away from him just slightly.

"Yes, of course." He reached down and hugged him. Letting him go, seeing him turn away from him again was maybe the hardest thing he'd ever done in his entire life. More difficult than the past times. There was a tear in his heart and when his son stepped from his embrace and moved a foot or two away, turned toward the bus, it was like he had gripped it with both hands and tugged. The tear became a hole and he felt it would swallow him up entirely.

But then Baedden turned back to him. And he smiled. "I'm going to miss you, Papa."

The words lanced through him, hard. He almost gasped before getting ahold of himself. "You'll call?"

"Of course." His son hesitated for a moment. "And…"

Gold bent down slightly, looked his son in his eyes. "I'll fight for you." The words were all that was needed. With a nod, Baedden turned and walked away. He didn't look back as he boarded the bus and Gold watched as he shook the driver's hand and took his place right behind him. Where it was safest. Where the driver could hear him if he needed him to.

Gold took a deep breath and was surprised to feel a small hand come to rest in his. His eyes didn't leave the bus as the door closed and it beeped its horn a few times to indicate it was leaving.

"He'll be back." Belle's voice was quiet, resolute. "Before you know it. And then you'll wonder why you ever wanted a noisy messy kid living in your home."

He could hear the smile in her voice. "I'll never wonder that." The words were sharp, a little harder than he intended.

She squeezed his hand in response, but remained quiet. Normally he would stand in the bus station for a long while, sometimes an hour or more, as if staying there would lead his son back to him in that short time. And then he'd turn, drag himself out, a dead man walking.

It would take him weeks to recover.

"Are you ready?" Belle finally asked.

He didn't speak for a moment, but then took a deep breath. "Yes. Yes I think I am."

There was a lot of work to do if he was going to make this work. But now that he knew his son wanted it, now that he had Belle, somehow he felt up for the work. Life was changing around him. He supposed it was time for him to start changing with it.

Three days. She barely saw him for three entire days. He holed himself up in his study and she could hear him on the phone cursing up a blue streak and shouting demands at someone occasionally. She wasn't sure if he was shouting at his ex-wife or a lawyer or someone else. She heard Baedden's name once or twice.

But mostly there was silence.

She went out and took care of the sheep. She was getting better with Bandit, getting better at moving the sheep around, through the fences, around the field. Bandit was getting more sure with her outruns, more sure of the commands. They were becoming a true team. And so moving the sheep out to the pasture and back happened easier all the time.

For three days she ate alone. Gold would occasionally sneak out and find something to eat. She'd find the cereal open and half gone, find the occasional plate left in the sink. But it was like living with a ghost for those days.

And then on the fourth day he left mid-morning. And when he came back, he walked in with a large hulk of a man. Dove, he introduced him as. He was a local guy, needed a job. And he was her replacement.

Well, not her replacement exactly. He pointed out that if they were going to get serious about her herding abilities and going to a trial, then she needed to focus on that and not mucking out the barn. And just like that she was out of a job. Just like that she had gone from employee to…something else. She wasn't surprised, really. She knew that he was gearing up toward this, that he wanted to push her to learn more, try more, to get to a trial sometime and really stretch her wings.

And there was that whole employer/employee thing hanging just slightly over their heads. Not that it had really stopped them from doing much or anything, but it was still there, somewhere, in the back of her mind. He still paid her. When she questioned him about finances, now that she was no longer employed by him he had simply stared at her, blinked once, and told her "What's mine is yours." He'd left it at that but if Belle had to really be honest with herself, it gave her a warm feeling in the pit of her belly.

They were moving toward something. And she had the sense that Gold was starting to become more comfortable with it. She wasn't sure how or when, though she suspected it had something to do with his son. He was quiet on that front, never really speaking of his feelings. Gold acted. He didn't wax poetic. He showed her in countless ways that he cared for her. But the words? She wasn't sure she'd ever hear them from him, wasn't sure he could ever say them.

"What are you doing?" he asked late one night when he happened upon her in the study. They still slept separately. Most nights at least. There were times when she woke up from a nightmare, when she felt the pangs of missing her father so strongly, that crawling into bed with Gold was the only thing that settled her mind and, perhaps even more importantly, her heart. He never said a word, simply pulled her close and let her fall back to sleep enclosed in his arms.

He never pressed for more, though Belle admitted that she wanted more. She had ever since…well…ever since he had run half crazed from his own room after giving her pleasure the likes of which she had never experienced before. She had been confused about that. Perhaps for far too long. But she suspected the truth lay somewhere between his ex-wife and years of celibacy.

"I'm reading," she pointed out. There was ire in her voice, but the smile she gave him as she glanced at him out of the corner of her eye took away the bite.

"Well…yes…" he started to say.

"Herding," she answered.

"Herding," he repeated.

She finally set the book down to look up at him. He looked tired, she realized. But there was something there, something that made her want to give him her full attention at that moment. "It never hurts to be extra prepared."

"Indeed," he said. He didn't move from the doorway of the library, one hand gripping his cane, the other seeming to almost hold himself up as he leaned against the frame.

"How did things go?"

"Go?"

She shook her head once. "Your son?"

She watched him take a deep breath. "Well, I think? The wheels are turning at least. There's nothing more I can do right now. The ball's in my ex's court."

"Not where you want it to be, really." She knew. She understood. The last thing he would want is for her to be in control.

He watched her for a moment and then finally shifted, moved a little further into the room. "No it's definitely not." He was quiet, mouth slightly turned down, and she worried she had upset him, somehow created a tension that hadn't been there for some time. Things had been going well, she supposed. There was tension with his son. There was still a lot of sadness lurking in the corners of her mind, sometimes overshadowing the quiet moments that should have been good ones. But for the most part things have settled.

They work with the sheep.

They have dinner together.

They relax and read in their separate rooms.

And they dance around their attraction to each other and their feelings. She wouldn't quite say things had cooled off between them. There was an undercurrent there that she was all too aware of. But ever since she had thrown herself at him the night of her father's funeral, there had been nothing. The occasional touch, a look, but nothing more.

"I have something to show you," Gold finally said.

"And that would be…" She let the words trail off.

He just stood there and finally crooked a finger. "Come with me." And then he turned away.

Some invitations were just too good to resist, really. Though she did wonder what the mystery was about. She followed him down the hallway and to his study, a place she rarely ever went. He hid in there when he wanted to be left alone and so she kept to her own room or their shared spaces. The library, the living room, the kitchen. It was easier than catching him at a bad moment in his own private space.

He was more confident of himself these days, she realized. He leaned on the cane, but it was a slight lean. He moved with more grace and ease. She wondered when that happened, really. The Gold she first came to work for was careful, concerned, consistently put off about the injury and the cane it required. But sometime in the last month it had simply become a part of him, almost an extension of himself. He used it with an ease that surprised her, shifting it from one hand to the other as he gathered up the extra chair in the room and pulled it in close to the desk.

"Come," he said as she hesitated in the doorway. "Sit."

"Do I get a treat if I do?" she asked and crossed her arms over her chest. There was a smirk on her face, one that was answered by the one on Gold's.

"I'm sure I can think of something."

The smile turned into laughter as she did as he requested. Gold took the seat next to her and she was pleased to see a smile soften the hard planes of his face for moment. He didn't smile enough, she realized, though he smiled more these days than he had in the first days she had come to live there. And every smile was rare and so when bestowed upon her, she felt special somehow. Like she had dug in and brought out something that the world normally didn't see.

"So what are you showing me?"

He just shook his head. "So impatient." His fingers flew over the keyboard and she watched as he logged into a website. She saw the pictures before any of the text but she knew right away what it meant.

"A herding website?"

He turned to her and one eyebrow rose just slightly. "We shepherds have entered the 21st century, you know."

"It's not…" She tried to hide her smile behind her hands. "Ok it is. I just didn't expect it."

"Obviously." The dry sarcasm behind the word made her grin.

"So show me?"

He shook his head and turned back to the computer. "This gentleman is well known in the field. He's had several champion dogs. A few years back he started videotaping one of his new dogs and talking about how he trained him. And then voila! This website was born." He leaned back as he spoke, waved his hand toward the screen.

Belle leaned closer and clicked on a link. After a moment of loading, a video popped up. Now let me tell you about this stick, a kindly older man was saying. He was short, stout, with a close-cropped white beard. Certainly nothing like Gold, but he seemed open and honest. And perhaps more importantly, knowledgeable.

"Why didn't you show this to me before?" She turned the volume down slightly as the man went on about the stick he used to help direct his dog. The same type of stick Gold had once given her.

Gold watched her for a moment. "You weren't ready."

"But…"

"You can't learn herding from videos."

"But…"

He shook his head quickly. "No buts. You can't learn from videos." He gave her a look out of the side of his eye. "Call this…a study guide."

She rolled her eyes. "This isn't a test."

"You don't think that's what a trial is?"

She leaned back slightly in her seat. "Am I going to a trial?" The idea had been bandied about, David had suggested it, Baedden had wanted her to do it.

"Yes," he finally said. "Yes I think you should."

Belle just watched him for a moment. "Thank you."

"For…"

"For having faith in me. For teaching me all of this." She waved her hands at the screen. There was so much more. So much to thank him for. He'd given her a job when no one else would. He was there when her father went through hell and passed on. He changed the whole course of her life. She had just been a lonely girl from Australia, new to town and in a bad place. And now she was here. With him. In whatever type of relationship they were in.

"It's…"

She stood them, stepped closer. "Don't tell me it's nothing."

"I was going to say it's no matter." The words were spoken with a smile at least.

Belle shook her head, bent over slightly and put her hands on either side of his face. "But it is. It very much is."

And then she leaned forward and kissed him. It was soft at first, almost chaste. He didn't move beneath her for a moment, frozen in place by the unexpected intimacy. There hadn't been much as of late, not with Baedden visiting, not since he turned her down the day of her father's funeral.

But this. This had been building between them. And she was ready this time. Most certainly ready. When she tilted her head, touched a tongue to his lips, he moved quickly, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her into the chair with him.

She ended up straddling him, balanced precariously on a desk chair that really was not meant to hold two people. She shifted slightly, put her hands on the back of the chair as he deepened the kiss, and she felt the earth move.

Well, not the earth.

The chair, actually.

It took her only a moment to realize that it was tipping backward. Her eyes met Gold's and it seemed like they hung there, just waiting for the inevitable, as if time simply slowed down. And then his eyes widened and his hands flailed out to try to stop it somehow. Belle tried to push herself off to the side in the hopes of not landing completely on top of him.

They ended up in a tangled heap, the arm of the chair digging into her side, the breath knocked out of her. Gold let out a noise that sounded half annoyed, half pained.

Belle rolled away, took a deep breath. "Are you ok?"

"Nothing's broken, if that's what you mean," came the rather dry reply.

She let out a small bark of laughter. "Nothing here either." Rolling over onto her side, she found Gold in a similar position, chair between them, eyes crinkled at the corners. "You seem none the worse for the wear."

He shook his head and then was quiet. "What's going on here?"

"Here?" she managed to get out.

"This, us." He attempted to wave a hand but nearly fell back over in the process.

Belle had to bite back another laugh. He looked…serious. Not something she usually saw out of him. "I don't know," she finally admitted, biting her lip before continuing. "But I like it."

She watched as his eyes darkened slightly, pupils blown out. He wanted her. He wanted this. She knew that much. "Belle…" he started to say and she could see the way his mouth turned down slightly, the way his eyes moved away from hers for a moment.

"Tavish." He looked back up at her as she spoke his name. "I'm not going anywhere." The honest truth. She was in this for the long haul, whatever that might be, wherever it might end up. She really had no idea. But she wasn't even sure that was important at this moment. Right now she was here. He was here. And they were forming…something that felt right.

"No?" She wasn't quite sure if he sounded uncertain of her or certain that she would leave him.

"No." Conviction. It was what she had and what he deserved.

He was silent for a moment before pushing the chair out of the way with one sweep of his arm. Belle jumped slightly and then laughed as he pulled her close to him, his mouth coming down on hers again.

It wasn't a perfect kiss. It was messy, with laughter interspersed with moments of near breathlessness. When she rolled over, Gold coming to rest on top of her, and hit her head against the ground, she groaned.

"We should take this elsewhere," she muttered.

"Elsewhere…like…"

She shook her head, reached out a hand to ruffle his hair. "Don't make me beg."

"Of course not." He stood then, leveraging himself to his feet by grabbing onto the chair and then the desk behind him. His cane was in hand as he leaned over and offered her a hand up.

She took it gratefully and offered him a gentle smile when they were both on their feet. Gold was staring at her. Just watching her and there was something behind his eyes. Confusion, excitement, terror all wrapped up into one. "This is more awkward than I thought," she muttered.

"I'm sorry," he answered quickly and she squeezed his hand.

"Don't…"

"I am…we can…"

"No," she said, squeezed his hand harder, almost painfully. "I want to. Don't back out now."

He nodded and allowed her to pull him after her toward his room. His, for whatever reason. The bed was bigger, she thought he'd be more comfortable. No idea really, but she moved to there as swiftly as she dared, Gold holding onto her hand almost too tightly.

When she reached the room, she let go of his hand and moved to the lamp. But he stopped her, moving faster than she could have anticipated, one hand coming out to lightly grasp her wrist. "Please." The word was quiet, but sharp.

She turned back to him, could barely make him out in the dimness of the room. "I…"

"It's been a long time."

"I know." She tried to offer a smile, but realized he couldn't see it in the darkness. "For me too," she added. He was quiet then and she wasn't sure what to do. For a moment they both stood there, his hand still encircling her wrist, her eyes trying to search his in the dark. And then she stepped forward, brought her hands up to his face as he finally released his hold on her wrist and kissed him. Softly, almost chaste. "We don't have to if…"

"No," he cut her off with. "I want to."

"Good." She was relieved when he pulled her back in for another kiss, still gentle, but as he wrapped his arms around her and deepened the kiss it took on something new, something vibrant. His hands traced down her back, lightly touching, coming to rest on her hips as he pulled her tight against him.

She could feel him, feel the hardness pressing against her, feel the muscles of his arms as they held her tight. When she pulled away from the kiss and reached for his hand, he made a small strangled noise somewhere in the back of his throat. And she smiled.

"Come here," she whispered and pulled him down to the bed. He hesitated for only a moment before joining her, laying down at her side and pushing her lightly until she laid back. She wanted to let him have this moment, control things. She didn't know why, but she knew that was somehow important. And so as he kissed her again and then traced open mouthed kisses down the side of her neck, she let herself just go.

One of his hands pushed her shirt up slightly, traced the skin there delicately, and she laughed. "That tickles!"

"Does it now?" There was an amused bent to the words as he continued and she tried to push him away. He fought back though and she was pleased to hear him laugh. He didn't often and his laugh always made her heart soar just a little bit.

And somehow that made it all easier. Her shirt was tossed aside, her bra going with it after a few moments of fumbling. "I'm not…" he started to say and she stopped him with a kiss.

His shirt went next and she spread her hand out across his chest, enjoying the taut muscles there. He was slender, wiry, but she knew what kind of hard work he did and it showed. His belly was soft though and when she pushed him back to trace her own kisses down chest to belly, she felt it quiver beneath her lips.

"Belle…"

"Stop talking," she whispered against his belly and felt him jerk in response to the tickling of her breath. She reached down and cupped him and he let out a small hiss. "Yes. Yes I like that." She stroked him for a moment through his pants and then moved her hands up to undo the buttons of his pants, sliding the zipper down. When she started to reach inside his underwear to touch him, he stopped her, his hand closing almost painfully around her wrist for a moment before he relaxed.

"If you touch me, it's over." His voice was tight, his accent thicker than she'd ever heard it. The words were almost incomprehensible but she got the gist, pulling herself up and kissing him again.

He pulled the rest of his clothes off and Belle managed to shimmy out of her pants and underwear and when he pulled her back into his arms, it was all warmth and bare skin. "God," Belle managed to get out before he kissed her again. It felt so odd, so foreign, and yet so good to be pressed up against him with nothing between them. And when his hand came up to touch her, to press into the wet heat of her, it felt like the most right thing ever.

"I need you," she managed to get out, her voice husky, barely recognizable to her own ears.

She could barely see him in the darkness of the room, but was almost sure she saw him nod before he drew himself up over her. And then she felt him at her entrance, spread her legs a little further to let him in.

It had truly been a long time and Gold was larger than she expected, but she was wet and she wanted him so very much. He went slowly and she had had enough. No slowness no waiting. She reached around him, grasping his butt in both hands and pulled him to her. She heard his gasp even as she echoed it.

It felt right. It felt like coming home, if that were even a possible emotion here. And then he started moving inside her and she could think of nothing else, but the thrust of his hips, the feel of him. He reached a hand between them and found her clit, using his thumb to circle it. Once, twice, and then she was lost, her body tightening in release.

His thrusts grew more erratic and he followed her soon after.

He held her close for a moment before rolling off to the side and pulling her into an embrace. There were no words, none that needed to be said at that moment. She simply lay there, lightly stroking his chest.

She was sure, as she drifted off to sleep held in the protective circle of his arms, that she felt a tear drop or two land in her hair.