"What's wrong here?"
Belle rolled over, grimaced. Gold had even moved a television into their bedroom in the past couple weeks. She couldn't count the number of videos they had watched of herding, but the number had to be into the hundreds by now. They had blown through his collection of videos from past trials, even critiquing some of his own trial performances. And now they were on to YouTube, of all places, searching for any video of herding they could find.
"I don't know." She didn't mean for the words to come out on such a whine but she was tired. Dead tired. And dead sick of watching the videos.
She wanted to sleep. She wanted to forget the whole blasted thing.
"Of course you do," Gold said, poking one long finger into her shoulder.
Belle opened an eye, watched the video for a second. "His commands are late."
"Of course," Gold answered.
"They're always late," Belle muttered.
"Do you know why?" Gold shot back. There was that voice again. That teacher voice. They may be in bed, they may be curled up together, one bit of intimacy they had begun to allow themselves. But that didn't stop him from putting on his teacher hat.
She stayed silent and Gold just gave her one of those looks before speaking again.
"Because they are reacting. They are not anticipating. A good shepherd can see disaster looming and can stop it before it happens. He can tell when the dog is getting too excited and may rush the sheep. He can tell when the dog is cutting too close or when a sheep is about to try to make a break. He anticipates and issues commands with quick confidence."
Belle yawned. "Of course he does." She rolled over again.
"Belle," Gold said, voice low. A warning. "I'm serious," he muttered.
"I know you are," she said and yawned.
Gold sighed. "Alright. I get the point."
"Good," Belle murmured and shut her eyes.
"We'll pick up with this tomorrow," Gold said and she could almost hear the grin in his voice as he got up and shut off the lights. When he crawled back into bed, he reached over and she went into his arms easily. It had become like this, lately. Intimacy came more easily. He touched her more, sometimes just a light brush of his hand on her shoulder, sometimes more. But he seemed open with her somehow. There was still a part of him that was closed off, that she was fighting against constantly. But it was smaller, less noticeable on a day to day basis.
"I'm sure," Belle muttered against his shoulder. "How are things going with your son?" It was a question she was uncertain of asking. He had been working with lawyers, fighting it out with his ex-wife before they took it to court.
She felt him tense a moment before he spoke. "Well, I think." A pause. "She's fighting it." She heard no tremor coming from his voice but there was something behind the words, a quiet sort of desperation.
"You knew she would." He said nothing in response to her words. "How's Bae holding up?"
"He's determined." She could hear a slight smile through the words. "It seems he has far less of his father in him and far more of…well…you." He pulled back at the words. "How did you do it? Influence him like this? My son is so…brave. So resolute…So…"
"So stubborn?" Belle asked and brought a hand to his cheek. She couldn't really see him in the darkness, but she knew he was trying to study her face anyway.
"Something like that."
"I think you'll be surprised to realize your son has always been like that. He's a good kid, Tavish." And she meant it. She'd only known him for two weeks, but he was a good kid.
"I know. He's just…"
"Everything like you," she cut him off with. She knew where this was going. The same round about conversation they'd been having ever since he first told her about his son and his ex-wife. He was afraid, he didn't do enough to fight, his son was nothing like him.
But clearly he was nothing like his mother, who Belle had gathered had inflicted great pain, both physical and emotional on Gold. Perhaps even on Baedden as well. And so that left his father. Somewhat estranged though they may be. Apart though they may be.
Gold held her tighter, for just a moment, but then the tension eased and she felt his arms go slack. "We'll get him back," Belle whispered.
But she knew he was already asleep. And there was little more for her to say on the matter. They would. Gold would. Baedden would come live with him. And Belle? Well, more and more she was certain she had found where she wanted to spend the rest of her life. Their relationship might not be perfect. There might be more bumps in the road than places of smooth sailing. But still, she was sure this was where she wanted to be.
Belle rushed out of the house. There were people there. Three cars had come up the drive in just the last five minutes and Dove, bless his overly large soul, was out there talking to them already. "Dove," she called as she stepped out the door and rushed to the man.
He was huge. And that was putting it mildly. Standing next to him was like standing next to an unmovable tree. He had to be nearly seven feet tall and did the jobs that Gold had once hired her for with so much ease that she wasn't sure why Gold hadn't tried to hire him in the first place.
"Miss Belle," Dove responded with, calm as ever. She wasn't sure anything ever ruffled the man. And watching Gold get irate with him was a little like watching a sparrow attack a bull. Not that she would admit that to Gold, but the difference in size between them was something that never ceased to amuse her.
"What's going on?"
She didn't recognize the people getting out of the cars. Not on any sort of I know your name level. She had seen a few of them in town, at Granny's, once or twice at the library.
"Gold invited 'em," Dove said and turned away. He had work to do and there was one thing that Belle knew Dove was serious about and that was work. She let him go. She couldn't exactly stop the great behemoth of a man even if she wanted to. And besides, Gold had invited these people. People he didn't know, people he probably didn't even care about, to his home.
"Ah, excellent," she heard Gold say as he stepped out the front door. He was already dressed for the day, looking every bit the shepherd he was. Cable knit sweater, comfortable jeans, hair loose and blowing in the slight breeze. "I was hoping they would come."
Belle turned and saw more cars coming up the drive to the house. Two more, then a third and then there were six more cars who had driven up and parked on the lawn where Gold waved them too. She saw David Nolan and waved, then saw Ariel and rushed over to see her. "What on earth are you doing here?"
Ariel returned the quick hug. "Mr. Gold asked us to come."
Belle glanced back at Gold, who had his back turned to her as he spoke to some of the people getting out of their cars. They all looked just slightly confused, staring around themselves like they had entered another world. Maybe they had after all. It wasn't every day, or any day really, when they were invited up to Gold's farm.
"Why?"
Ariel just shrugged. And Ruby, who arrived with her grandmother in tow, looked from Belle to Ariel to Gold and smirked. "Because he's crazy?"
She was saved having to respond to that by Gold's calling her name. "I'll be back guys," Belle said with an apologetic smile before rushing off to join him.
"What is…"
"Proofing," he answered. And he smirked. Of course he did.
"Proofing," Belle responded with.
Gold nodded. "These people are your judges, your audience, your Coras."
"My…" She shook her head. "Tavish, have you lost your mind? These people don't actually know anything about sheep herding."
"Of course they don't. But that doesn't matter. They're here to watch you perform." He waved an arm at the group who had gathered and she noted that more had come in the meantime. "They're going to make noise, eat food, shout things, play with their dogs. They're going to be obnoxious and always in your line of vision."
And then she understood. She didn't know why she didn't before. But suddenly it clicked. He wanted to put pressure on her. He wanted to mimic what she would see at a trial. She wasn't nervous about her abilities. She wasn't nervous about her dog's abilities. She was nervous about being watched, about being judged. "You brought all these people here. For me? Invited them onto your property and into your home because of me?" Her voice was soft when she asked the words.
"I wouldn't do it for anyone else," Gold pointed out and he was so damned reasonable about the whole thing. As if this were something he did each and every day. As if she knew exactly how much he cared.
And he did care, damn him. She knew it. And surely he knew that she knew it. She just shook her head. "So what do we do?"
"That's my girl." He reached over and squeezed her hand.
"Am I?" Belle murmured and for some reason the answer really mattered.
"Are you what?"
"Your girl?"
He hesitated at that, stopped and watched her for a moment. "Yes," he finally said. "I believe you are."
She smiled at him. She wanted to kiss him. But he had moved away from her and she could see just how hard he was gripping the cane as he limped steadily away. It was hard for him to admit he cared. She was sure he hadn't cared about anyone besides his son in a long time and she knew how poorly that had turned out over the years. It had gotten better, but his son was still living hundreds of miles away and now, back under the influence of his ex-wife, anything could be happening. Caring didn't come easily to Gold. But from seeing how much he cared for his son, when he did care, it went deep. Deep and true and for life.
She wasn't sure if that's where this was going.
But maybe, just maybe, it was.
Shaking her head, she followed Gold out to the edge of the field. Men were setting up a tent, placing chairs. Her eyes widened as she turned to look at him.
"Proofing," he muttered.
"You're recreating the whole thing?" Her eyes were wide.
"I even thought about calling up Cora," he muttered and Belle laughed. It felt good to laugh.
"I don't think anything is worth that," she pointed out.
"Perhaps not." And the words were amused. "So you'll have to do without her. But you have David Nolan, the judge. And his assistant Mary Margaret."
"And the sometimes screaming Emma," Mary Margaret said, rocking Emma as she started to fuss a little.
He shot her a look and Mary Margaret just offered up a small shrug before continuing to coo at her baby. "You," Gold called out. A young man she hadn't ever seen before wandered over. "Good," Gold said and picked up a megaphone she hadn't noticed there before. "You're going to explain to the audience what's going on."
"Me? But I…"
"Oh it doesn't matter," Gold said with a slice of his hand through the air. "Just talk to people using it. Loud and clear. Make sure they can all hear you."
Belle watched as he scurried off, megaphone in hand.
"Excellent, so you then. And you." He pulled a couple away from their friends. "How would you like to be dog handlers?"
"What?"
"We need dogs milling about, getting in the way. We need the next dog up on deck. So we need dogs. Can I trust you to hold the leashes of two dogs?"
The woman nodded and the man, after glancing at her for a moment, nodded as well.
"Good then, follow me." Gold strode off with the couple following behind him, slower, casting glances over their shoulders at Belle as they did so.
"What the hell is that all about?" Ruby asked as she came up alongside Belle.
Belle just shook her head. "Proofing." Gold seemed to want to make the entire experience as close to reality as possible. He was positioning people, putting them in chairs, having a man in a booth that sold food. Which he was apparently giving away for free at this crazy little shindig. He had people milling about, people standing at the fence taking photos, a man who was a little off his rocker selling something to those who passed by. Jefferson, she thought she heard someone call him. The Mad Hatter, someone else said, referring to the massive top hat he wore despite the warm temperature and informal nature of the day.
Literally everything was there, except the competitors that scared her so.
But she would still have to perform in front of all these people. They were there to see her. And while there may not be the pressure of an actual trial, Belle felt her stomach tighten as she thought about everyone watching her. Everyone judging her. Everyone finding her wanting.
Gold returned shortly, the couple holding tight to the leashes of two of the younger dogs. She recognized Bailee, a young red and white who rushed forward at the end of her leash, all wiggles and excitement. If kept too close to the field, she was likely to try to bolt to work. She had a lot of impulse issues and she could see why Gold chose her to attempt to distract Belle and Bandit. The other was holding onto Ollie. He was older, around six, but still a bit impulsive. He tended to bark when excited. Another good choice.
Truth be told, she didn't care about the dogs. She could deal with the dogs.
It was the people.
And more had arrived. Altogether, Gold had someone managed to gather up some thirty people to watch her attempt to herd with Bandit. Thirty people who had, amazingly, given him the benefit of the doubt and showed up at his place. Was it the promise of free food? She could see a couple of young college students in the mix and suspected it was for some of them. She well remembered her starving college days. Maybe it was curiosity? She could see many looking around and watching everything, watching Gold, watching them together.
There was a small part of her that wondered if he had threatened anyone. But no one looked put out and sullen, except maybe Leroy, but the bearded stout man always seemed sullen. And especially so when there was no alcohol to be had.
And so she was led to believe that these people actually came. Because they wanted to. For whatever reason. They were here to support her, to help her.
This wasn't even close to what she expected.
"Well, Miss French," she heard Gold say and she was about to correct him, remind him that she was Belle and not Miss French, but she realized he was stepping into a role. Organizer, she supposed. Indifferent and simply there to make sure things were kept on track.
"Yes," she said in response.
"It appears you're next." The words were said with a slight smirk and Belle found herself nodding, taking a deep breath.
She remembered being told that all too well at the trial. She remembered the cold feeling in the pit of her stomach. She turned around, watched the crowd, and tried to steady her nerves.
It's not a trial, Belle.
They're your friends, Belle.
They're here to support you, Belle.
It was easy to tell herself that stuff as she stepped away from Gold and out onto the field. So easy. But she felt their eyes on her and she felt the judgment. If she screwed up…
Another deep breath. The sheep were readied at the top of the field. Five of them, gently grazing, unaware of the dog that was about to come into their midst.
Another breath. Bandit was at her side, half crouching, half sitting, ready to go. She would see her eyes watching the sheep with laser focus. The dog was not nervous. Why was she?
One more breath. And then she released her. Come bye. Bandit took off to her left, just a streak of black and white across the field. The distance to the sheep was further here than the field. Novice trials only allowed a maximum of one hundred yards. Here the sheep were at least a couple hundred away and so she had time to sit back and admire the way her dog moved. Bandit was beautiful. Fast, long fur flying in the wind, ears pulled back, tail curled into a perfect "J" as she moved. She would never tired of watching her outruns.
And then she lifted the sheep. Perfectly. She slid in, crouched, started them moving. It was perfect and Belle felt herself smiling.
But then the sheep started heading down and she whistled Bandit around to move them toward the first set of gates.
She remembered they were watching.
All of them.
Thirty people, at least. Eyes watching her, watching her dog, waiting for her to make a mistake so they could laugh, jeer.
She whistled again, this time too late and the sheep moved off. Another whistle, two short ones, move up move up. Bandit was losing the sheep and she could see her start to fall apart, her head moving quickly back and forth between the sheep and Belle. She could see what would happen before it even began. Stress, biting the sheep, and being called off the field.
The same thing as before.
And she wasn't sure she could stop it.
She heard a whistle, not hers, sharp and clear. And then felt someone beside her.
Gold. She knew it without even looking at him. Bandit was stopped, frozen on the field, as the sheep moved away from her. She watched, tongue out and eyes wide. But she didn't move.
"They're watching me," Belle said and she hated how small her voice sounded.
"They're not," Gold began to say.
"They are," she insisted.
He reached out and gently turned her shoulders, forced her look at him for a moment and then pointed back to where the tent was. "Look at them." His voice was soft, but firm. He pointed at one young gentleman off to the side. "That one is making cow eyes at the young lady several seats away. He's not paying one bit of attention to you."
"But…"
His hand shifted, his finger moving in a different direction. "That one is more interested in her phone than in what you're doing. And those two?" He pointed at a couple in the back. "They're having an argument. Something ridiculous about dinner or who forgot to take out the trash." She tried to interrupt again. "Just look at them, Belle."
And she didn't. She looked at him because she was sure that was the first time he'd used her name in such an urgent way.
"Look at them," he repeated. She gave him an assessing look and then turned back to the audience. If it could even be an audience. Because he was right. At least four people were staring at their phones, many of the others were carrying on conversations. A laugh from one particularly loud woman rang out and she saw her friend try to shush her, glancing quickly at Belle and then away.
"They're not…"
"Of course they're not. And when they are watching? They're watching Bandit." She turned to look at her dog, still panting, still not moving from where Gold had whistled her to stop. "And you know why that is?"
"Because it's all about the dog?"
"Hardly," he responded with, his voice dry. "It's a partnership. You know that. But they're watching Bandit because she's the interesting part of the pair. She's the one moving. And she's gorgeous when she moves. They won't be able to take their eyes off her. You? They don't care about you." The words should have been harsh but she knew what he was getting at. "You're standing around in wellies with a stick in your hand and a whistle. You're boring. And so they watch the dog. They cheer for the dog. They simply do not care about you."
She sucked in a breath and watched him for a moment. "I know that…"
"Then take it to heart. You must if you're going to do this." There was a pleading note to the words. This mattered to him. For whatever reason.
She nodded.
"Just remember it's just you and your dog. That's it." And then he turned away. "Continue," he said over his shoulder.
If asked later what exactly happened she wouldn't be able to recall exactly. She remembered turning back, watching Bandit for a moment, and then taking a deep breath and releasing her from her stopped position. The dog had leapt into action quickly and smoothly.
And then it had simply…worked. Like it had never worked before. She kept remembering his words. They simply do not care about you. She kept remembering that she was boring, that she was still, that they were watching Bandit and she was able to let go a little.
Oh, there had still been the bobble or two when she was late and Bandit rushed in just a little too close. But she had somehow manage to save those moments, pulling the dog back and allowing the sheep to settle before pressing forward.
Bandit responded like a dream, of course she did, and when she had finally closed the gate on all five sheep, she felt such an amazing bit of relief that she didn't even hear the cheering.
It started with David Nolan, substitute judge and general supporter, and then Gold had picked up the applause. He had looked proud. No. More than proud. There had been something shining out of his eyes. Respect, maybe love. It warmed her all over and she finally found herself smiling. Just a small one at first, but as more and more people realized something good had happened, her smile got bigger, wider, until it almost hurt.
She reached out and hugged Bandit, who swiped a tongue across her cheek in answer. "We did it girl," she whispered.
And then Gold was there, standing next to her and offering her a hand to stand back up. "We did it!" she shouted and pulled him in close to her.
She kissed him right there. Right in front of everyone. She didn't even care and she was thankful that his arms wrapped around her, however briefly.
"I told you that you could do it."
She pressed her forehead against his. "I should know by now to not argue with you."
"Of course not," he responded with and they walked off arm in arm. There were people to thank, celebratory Champaign to drink. And if she had her way, a very long and wonderful night to celebrate her success.