Disclaimer: The views expressed in the following story are not necessarily shared by the author. AKA: I love Danny Phantom (that's why this is called a fan fiction) Also, the premise is from Danny Phantom, the tone I kind of got from Catcher in the Rye (at least, that's what I was going for), and a couple of motifs are from Mists of Avalon (no, that does not mean Jazz and Danny will sleep together)

This is M for language and adult themes; nothing 'explicit' in terms of violence or sex.

Danny Phantom? What a joke. They turned my life into a fucking comedy! Doesn't anyone notice that nothing about it even makes any sense? Why the hell would I even fight anyone if I could just whip out some stupid 'thermos' and have all my problems go away? And my parents, you think they didn't notice because they were dense? My dad ripped a hole into another dimension! No, he didn't notice because he doesn't give a damn about me. He just cares about 'ghosts' and doesn't give a shit about the living. Guess they got that part right. And since when have ghosts been funny? Ghosts mean death, ghosts mean pain, ghosts means somebody fucking died and left their son and their family in a stupid little house in a stupid little town, and everybody just expects you to just move on. I never even knew my mom. The closest I ever got was Jazz, and then she was gone too.

I guess it all started with 'the portal,' that's where these stories are supposed to start right? The moment I became a superhero. You've all heard the story: "I was just fourteen, thought it would be cool, so I went into the portal, combined with the 'ghostly' energy there, blah, blah, blah" what a load of bullshit. I was standing in front of the portal wishing I could just blow my head in because my stupid dad hadn't shown up for the stupid parent teacher conference. I mean, really, he couldn't just get off his lazy ass and come down to my school, and pretend like he cared that I was getting detention for yelling at a teacher? But, no, nobody cares what Danny says, nobody cares if the teachers just watch while Dash Baxter beats the hell out of him after class every day. Nobody cares if Danny gets two detentions because they wouldn't believe him that his father couldn't take time off from drinking to care for his son. Nobody cares that some girl got raped and murdered behind the bleachers because her brother wasn't there to save her. Oh, sure, they cared for a little while at the funeral, they cared about Jazz. But nobody cared about Danny. There wasn't a single person on the entire fucking planet, who cared that she was leaving a twelve-year-old boy at home alone with a father who does nothing but sit on his ass and watch TV, or work on his stupid fucking portal, and try and reach those long dead, but pay no attention to the only fucking person who was still alive. And that's the only reason I didn't blow my head in. Because, nobody would care. So, instead, I decided to destroy the one thing he did care about. And if I got killed in the process, well, that would just be two birds with one stone.

Ever heard of "scared half to death?" I used to think it was just an expression, but guess where I am now… Surprised? What, you thought I was mutated by some kind of ectoplasmic goo? That's cute. How do think you get ghost powers? You fucking die, that's how. Except when I set the portal on overload, it was only designed for one way; if I had just blown my head in, my 'soul' would have slipped through to the other side and I'd be with mom and Jazz right now.

And, yes, there can be such thing as a one way door. Well, maybe a door isn't the best description; a hole would be a better one. See, you can look at "dimensions" as two pieces of paper lying next to each other (actually it's like a stack of papers, but for the human world and the 'ghost zone' let's just keep it at 2). So, anyways, we're little stick figures on one of the pieces of paper, and we move along it just fine. Just as those figures can't begin to fathom how they'd move other than in 2D, we can't imagine how we'd move in 4. Now, how the portal was supposed to work was by ripping a little hole on their side of the paper, and then they could just walk through, much like how you begin to write on the next page when you rip a hole in your notebook in class. The only reason the portal hadn't been working was because you could walk through, but you were on the wrong side of the paper.

Now, according to Sam, (who's usually pretty accurate about this kind of stuff; I'll explain later) for every living person, there's a 'soul' on the other side of the paper that holds them onto the page. It's like peoples' bodies are one magnet and their 'soul' the other, just on opposite sides of the page. When people die, they become demagnetized, and the bodies can't move without the 'soul' to guide them. Ghosts are the soul side of the magnet, clinging on to their universe, so they don't fall off. Sometimes, where the dimensional threads are really thin, spirits can even reach partially through and move stuff around. We call those poltergeists.

But back to me; when I overloaded the portal, it had enough energy to rip through both sides of the paper, leaving one gaping hole into nothing. Guess what was holding my magnets apart, then? Nothing.

I sort of merged with myself… it was the weirdest thing, I mean one minute I'm fucking angry, and the next, I just kind of… am? My life didn't really quite flash before my eyes, but it was like the things I thought were big things suddenly became small, and the things I never paid any attention to became big. Like, when I turned eight and my dad yelled at Jazz for throwing me a party, and my friends' parents wouldn't let their kids come over to my house anymore, I suddenly kind of forgave my dad for it, I mean, hell, that's the anniversary of when his wife died. Hell, I guess it's not surprising I became half ghost; birth and death are synonymous in my life.

But the fucking geek! There's this kid who's been following me around for years and I can't get him to leave me alone, just 'cause I stood up for the guy one time. I mean, I never gave him a moment's thought, but as I was lying there… floating there? Hell, I don't even know where there was, but as I was, you know, dying, I just kept thinking; "god, what was that kids name? I shoulda been nicer to that guy. I shoulda been his friend, or shoulda paid attention to what he was saying"

And that's the only reason I didn't just float off and die. I just had to go and apologize to this fucking geek.

Let me know if I should finish this, it'll be at least one more chapter, but beyond that I'm not sure. If Danny sounds too much like a girl, that'd be helpful to point out :). I've never written anything before, so I'd appreciate some constructive criticism. I've only got a vague idea where this is going... So, yeah.

Not to be too mushy, but, yeah, you guys inspired me. All the people out there, thinking and getting their thoughts heard. So, thanks :)