You Don't Want to Know

House was in the classroom with everyone discussing the magician and the challenge. He paused a moment before he started speaking, "We can all applaud the doctor who's willing to break all the rules. But the real hero is the unsung doctor, toiling in anonymity, because he broke the rules without getting caught. I need to know you have these skills. I need you... To bring me the thong of Lisa Cuddy." Everyone looked up gob smacked. "Not kidding." They were still frozen in their seats. "Thong. Cuddy. Go."

"It's how I got hired." Foreman said as they all slowly passed him.

~0~0~0~0~0~

Remy walked casually into the cafeteria. She immediately saw Cameron, and Cameron, being the girl she was would wave an incoming duckling over to sit with her… that's what they thought at least.

Remy plopped down across from her, "Did House tell you to hike up your skirt ever?"

Cameron knit her brows and looked under the table, "You're wearing—"

"He told Amber to hike up her skirt… in front of everyone."

Cameron leaned forward, "Did she?"

Remy gave her a look and smirked.

This is when Cameron started putting pieces together, "Wait… why was she hiking her skirt?"

"For the challenge."

"What challenge."

Remy leaned forward and planted her hands firmly on either side of her lover's tray, "The person that brings him the thong of Lisa Cuddy gets immunity this week."

Cameron began laughing… loud, causing everyone to look at them. This made her blush and hide, "Really?" Remy nodded, and Allison looked at her skeptically, "Are you participating?"

Remy shook her head, "I mean… I probably should because Amber is trying extra hard to get them and if she gets them she's gonna pick me—"

"Pick you?"

"Yeah… Whoever wins gets to pick two people. One will be saved, one won't."

"… But you're not trying?"

"Nah." She shrugged, "I don't want to get in trouble with my girlfriend.. and I don't want to touch another woman's panties… Not for real anyways… even if I do say silly things sometimes, I don't want to touch another woman's panties."

Cameron smirked and looked around before she squeezed Thirteen's hand and began a game of footsie.

Thirteen waited a moment, "I think House knows I might have…" She didn't say anything.

"Why?"

Remy looked down, "I dropped a file… and… I overreacted."

"Honey…" Cameron squeezed her hand tighter.

She had to release it quickly because Chase walked over to them, "Cameron." He said in greeting, "Oh… Hey Thirteen." He acted as if he hadn't seen her before.

"Chase." Remy said tightly.

"Hi Chase." Cameron looked over to Remy as he sat with them.

"So… What are we talking about?" He asked with a cocky smile. It was almost as if he knew something was going on between the two of them… which was ridiculous of course.

"Well, I should go… Dying magician and all…"

"Magician?" Cameron asked excitedly.

"Yeah." Remy played it cool, aloof even. "He did the pick a card thing with me and the card somehow ended up in Kutner's wallet… after he caught it on fire…"

"That's so cool!"

"Which Kutner feels is why we need to save him." Thirteen smiled, "See ya." She took her tray and left.

"So you like magic?" Chase asked.

"Only sometimes." Cameron was now completely disinterested.

~0~0~0~0~0~

"Those aren't my panties." Thirteen said as she followed House into his office form the differential in which Cole pulled Cuddy's panties from his pocket.

"I know. Hypothetical. A young woman does something clumsy in public, and instead of laughing it off, she gets irrationally upset. Explain."

"Maybe she's clumsy because she's nervous, because she forgot to do her spelling homework…?" Thirteen paused for a second and stared at him before she continued sarcastically, "Oh in my hypothetical, she's eight."

"But this girl's not insecure. Seems more like she's afraid."

"Do you have a point, or did you just get a new book of riddles?"

"I think you're hiding a medical condition."

"I'm not." She turned away and put her lab coat on, then as she flipped her hair from under it she turned back to him, "I'm glad we had this talk."

"Doctors often try to ignore their symptoms because they think they can't get sick. If you've got something going on, I need you to take care of it."

"And I take your compassion entirely at face value."

"It's not compassion. It's self-interest, I want my team healthy."

"It's not self-interest. It's curiosity. I dropped a file, House. I start bleeding from the eyes, I'll be sure to make an appointment."

"Okay."

Thirteen walked out of the office… and straight to Cameron's. She caught her girlfriend's eye before walking inside and she just waited until Cameron was done. She lay on her couch and faced away from the door into the back of the couch.

"Baby?" Cameron walked in and quickly suctioned herself to Remy's back.

"I was right…"

"He suspects?"

Remy nodded, "Will you just… can you just hold me for a little bit?"

Cameron didn't know what to do anytime Remy showed vulnerability. And this was no different. She simply nodded and kissed her lover's cheek, "Of course."

~0~0~0~0~0~

She knew House was looking at her as she tried to cap her pen earlier… and she knew he was looking at her when she noticed her hand trembling. But thankfully what he didn't know were the thoughts that ran through her head during both of these events.

She knew she shouldn't think them, and they were completely irrational, but the only things she thought were, 'Oh my God, Al's gonna leave me.' And 'Oh my God… Al has to leave me… or, I have to leave her…'

So, as she stood before him and hung a bag of blood to give House to prove his theory or theirs, she wasn't surprised when he started talking… and what he started talking about.

"I have a new theory. You're not stubborn. You're not getting it checked 'cause you already know the answer. I found an old picture in your wallet."

"Of course you did." She rolled her eyes.

"I wasn't snooping, I needed lunch money. Figure it's your mom, except she looks about 32 years old. The only reason not to update a photo in 20-odd years is she's not talking to you, which would be interesting, or she's dead. Which would also be interesting." She gave him a look, "She's dead."

"So's Grover Cleveland." She said firmly.

"Pretty young to have a dead mom. You were even younger 20 years ago. I googled her obituary. Said she died at Newhaven Presbyterian after a long illness. Parkinson's?"

Thirteen sat down and stared at nothing, "Huntington's chorea."

"I'm sorry."

"I'm leaving when this case is over." The words were out before she even realized what she said.

"No you're not."

"You don't want a doctor on your team who's slowly losing control of her body and mind."

"Huntington's isn't the only thing that causes tremors."

"You think it's just a coincidence?"

"I think you're the only one on the team who drinks decaf. I've been switching it out with regular ever since you dropped that file. You're trembling because you're hopped up on caffeine. The first file wasn't my fault. Medical explanation for that is... People drop things."

"I've been walking around thinking I'm dying."

"You are."

"You don't know that." She cried in insistance.

"With Huntington's, it's inevitable."

She stood up angrily, "No, you don't know, because I don't know!"

House stared at her in actual surprise, "How could you not get tested? If your mom had it, it's a 50% chance, you're a bomb waiting to explode."

"Not knowing makes me do things I think I'm scared to do, take flying lessons, climb Kilimanjaro, work for you."

"Yeah because if you knew, you couldn't do any of those things."

~0~0~0~0~0~

"You said that?" Cameron asked with a smirk, "You actually jabbed the biopsy needle into him with no lidocaine and said, 'slight pinch'?... After you drugged him?"

"…Yes."

"Well… there it is, then." Cameron smirked once more, "Are you okay, Babe?"

"Fine. I just cannot believe he did that… it's low even for him…"

"You know that it's not… He professed his love for me to get my saliva for my HIV test… or do you not remember that?"

"No, I do… I just…" She shrugged.

"I know… Honey, we'll get through it. We always do."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

~0~0~0~0~0~

Remy came home that night and threw her shit all around. "God damn it!" She yelled when her coat wouldn't let her arm loose.

"Honey… honey!" Cameron ran over to her, having just gotten out of the shower and helped her arm get free. "What? What, what? What's going on, huh?"

Remy wrapped her arms around Cameron and buried her face in her neck, "You don't know, why should I have to? I don't want to know! Why doesn't he FUCKING understand that?"

Allison sunk with Remy all the way to the floor. They stayed there, Allison in a towel, Remy all frumpy from her rant, crying and angry. "You don't have to know." Allison whispered, "We don't have to know, babe."