Frozen
"Coma guy needs cable. Women's billiards is the only thing that's keeping him alive." House said as he limped into the ER.
His bestie turned around and looked at him, "I'm sure Carlson will be moved by his plight."
"Carlson won't listen to me since I hit on his wife."
Cameron pointed at him and smiled, "You knew?" She gave him one last accusing stare before reading a file.
"God no. I thought I was hitting on his daughter." He waited for the blonde's signature eye roll, "Look, you're on the committee. He'll listen to you." His friend looked over, not masking her surprise, "I'm an avid reader of committees with hotties message boards."
Cameron walked over to a bed and looked at a chart, "Amoxicillin, 500 milligrams IV."
"Studies conducted in major hospitals indicate that happy patients recover faster. Studies conducted in my apartment show that TV makes people happy. Premium channels have a particularly striking effect."
"Charging patients for cable is bringing in 13 grand a month." She put her hand on her hip.
He gave her a challenging look, "Until this injustice is righted, I am going to waste 13 grand a day." He grabbed a box of tongue depressors and emptied it onto the floor, "It's 2 dollars 49 cents down."
Cameron did not satisfy him with a reaction. She turned to a nurse, "Get an EKG and a cardiac enzyme. If those check out, discharge him and tell him to get a snow blower."
House gave her a look and started pulling gloves from a box, throwing them haphazardly around him on the floor. When Cameron and the nurse gave him a scolding look, he said with a blank face, "How much is 13 grand divided by 4 cents?"
"I am not giving you cable!" She said firmly, "You're going to have to somehow survive with the broadcast networks alone."
"I'll be fine on Tuesdays." He joked and she pulled the curtain in front of him, not allowing him any more conversation.
~0~0~0~0~0~
House didn't bother trying to annoy her longer. He went up to his office and found that they were consulting with their patient in the North Pole. After she asked if he were who he was, and after he told them not to tell her to test but treat, he bent forward a bit and squinted his brows, "Can she see me?"
"Oh yeah." Cate, the patient, smirked into the camera.
"Think Jagger shows up for the sound check?" Cate shook her head and walked from the camera, "Okay. Roadies, off the stage. Go help Cameron in the ER."
"Why? No way you're just doing her a favour."
"ER is standing room only. Which means Cameron's bound to make a mistake. Find it so I can blackmail her. As far as you know, this is way more than just some silly battle over cable."
~0~0~0~0~0~
Thirteen was not excited about seeing her girlfriend… that she was currently in the process of moving in with. She was not excited about watching her work, which was flawlessly, if she did say so herself… and she was not excited about having to do this on House's orders… these were, of course, big fat lies. But she tried to hide her excitement from the boys as they took the elevator down to the first floor and came up with a game plan.
They found Cameron taking a chart about to walk over to a patient and the three of them created a wall to stop her, "House wants us to spy on you, report back." She said, holding her smile at bay.
Cameron smiled just barely smiled back at her, "And you're telling me this because...?"
"We don't want to do it." Kutner provided.
Cameron smiled at him then all of them and said happily, "I don't see a problem so far."
"If our choice is between pissing House off or pissing you off, that's not much of a choice." Taub said frankly.
Cameron fell a little and looked at all three of them, "So unless I give House cable, you're going to make my life miserable." She gave a pointed look to her secret girlfriend at the end of this statement.
"Yes." Thirteen grinned back at her.
"And you're telling me this so you won't feel as guilty when you do it."
"Yes." Taub nodded.
Cameron gave them all a look, "Accommodating House's every whim is not my job anymore."
"But it is ours." The shorter man continued.
"House will get what he wants." Kutner tried to sound intimidating.
Cameron laughed at him and started walking away.
"Maybe we should just pay for it ourselves and tell him she folded."
Cameron turned around and said with determination, "No." She had a mischievous look in her eye.
~0~0~0~0~0~
Kutner, Taub and Thirteen followed Cameron silently. They knew where they were going, but they didn't know why. She turned to them, "You will speak of this to anyone but House or anyone that will tell House."
"So… House and Wilson." Kutner said.
"And possibly Foreman." Cameron looked at all of them and their surprised expressions, "Oh you'd be even more surprised of the things they've shared with each other."
"And how do you know what they've shared with each other?" Taub asked.
Cameron squinted her brows, "He told me…" She said like that was the dumbest question he could have asked.
"Are you two close?" Kutner was surprised.
"… I'm second in command next to Wilson." She defended.
"Could have fooled us…" Taub looked over to Thirteen, "Why aren't you surprised?"
"I guess I'm just observant and knew all of this… What I don't know is what we're doing outside Cuddy's office…" She turned back to Cameron.
Cameron smirked, "I'm taking myself away from the problem… I won't be able to give him cable if I'm fired."
"But you're not fired…" Thirteen almost reached for her arm, but she refrained.
"Exactly." She smirked as she knocked on Cuddy's door and walked in with the three ducklings.
"Can I help you all?" Cuddy asked from behind her desk.
"We have a favor to ask…"
~0~0~0~0~0~
When House came around with the Rottweiler puppies poster, Thirteen almost tore them up then and there… She almost let it slip that that was where she slept as well. But she held it together long enough to wait for House to walk off and then throw them away.
~0~0~0~0~0~
They were gathered around a table in the cafeteria, staying away from the ER, as requested by Cameron and made a rule by Cuddy, and also staying away from House. They were discussing the many reasons they didn't hang the posters—Kutner was scared that House would know somehow that they didn't… and Thirteen and Taub were rolling their eyes when House walked over to them.
"You got Cameron fired."
"Cuddy wasn't supposed to find out." Taub started in the straightest face Thirteen had ever seen from the man.
"No kidding! Get me cable. How tough can that be? Cost a woman her job. There's only one thing you can say to keep me from firing you."
"Cameron wasn't fired." Thirteen acted by telling the truth.
"Wrong." House looked at her.
"You know?" Taub asked.
"We're still fired?" Kutner added.
"That should be a hint as to what you're supposed to say."
"We're sorry." Taub guessed.
"Wrong." House looked at Kutner.
"I love you." He guessed after a moment.
"Wrong." He now looked at Thirteen.
"This is a game? First we have to screw with our co-worker and now we have to try to figure out what you want us to say? This is insane. I'm not playing."
House smiled, "Right. You should've said this two days ago. Do not play games with me. Number one, you're going to lose, you're just not ready. Number two, the game was to force you to stop playing games. I need you to stand up to me. Challenge me. I need you to stop worrying about getting fired. Go pay for my cable."
"No!" Kutner tried to stand up to him.
House turned and gave him a look, "I didn't mean on this. Seriously, I need cable."
Thirteen shook her head as she watched her boss walk away. She stood up and went to the locker room, "Well, that was a day well wasted in the cafeteria…" She said as she shrugged on her coat and glanced to the blonde next to her who happened to be her girlfriend and happened to look exhausted, "Come on." She kissed her temple, "Let's go home."
"Mmm, home." Cameron grinned as she stood up, "Did House think he won the game?" She asked as they walked out casually together.
"Yes." Thirteen grinned at her.
"I can't wait to tell him otherwise…" She smirked at Thirteen, then chuckled at her reaction.