The Church of Arnold proselytizes at Yunna the next day, which starts with a prayer for Elder Church's family: for his mother to leave his father, for his father to seek help for alcoholism, for his family to heal.
Kevin joins Elder Church at the internet café that day—and finds that God is silent. After a particularly short phone call, Elder Church reports that his mother keeps saying that she's fine. "She's been fine her whole marriage," he says.
That same day, Arnold emails Kevin a link when the pair stop in for coffee and a quick email check at the café. It leads to a site about "asexuals." It's clearly run by a bunch of lonely losers—lonely secular losers, since they mention masturbation as if it's normal—who just aren't trying hard enough to fit in. Disgusted, Kevin closes the window and says nothing about it to Arnold.
They return to proselytizing. Kevin is preoccupied with not thinking about that website, and Arnold is preoccupied with Nabulungi, who, along with her father, join them for the rest of the day. Arnold and Nabulungi smile and coo at each other, and seem to speak in their own private language. Mafala gets the group its only placement.
The church is in Yunna again the next day: so close to that internet café and the temptation to return to that website. Kevin doesn't. He forces himself to attend to Elder Church. Already one of the quieter missionaries, now Elder Church is downright monosyllabic. Kevin offers the Elder comforting verses from the Bible, the Book of Mormon and the Book of Arnold. Church nods and thanks him, but Kevin can't tell if it has any effect.
He gives in the next day and checks out the site's FAQ.
"Am I asexual?
The definition of asexuality is 'someone who does not experience sexual attraction.'...
"I have crushes on people. I think I sometimes fall in love. Does this mean I'm not asexual?
"A good proportion of asexuals get crushes on others and fall in love. Emotional and romantic attraction are separate from sexual attraction. For some people they go together, but they are not necessarily connected.
"Most asexuals are physically capable of sex. Some masturbate and some...
"...other people don't 'turn them on'...
"...distinction between asexuality and celibacy...
"...you could make up your own entirely new identity...
"...might feel pressured to fake sexual attractions..."
"Hey, buddy."
Kevin blinks. Tearing his aching eyes from the screen, he sees Arnold standing near him, with Mafala and Nabulungi waiting by the entrance. Glancing at the clock, he calculates how much time he's spent online and gulps. He quickly logs off and pays the cashier. If he keeps spending like this, he'll have to cut back on his coffee habit.
"How are you feeling?" Arnold asks. As usual, he's too loud; Mafala and Nabulungi look at Kevin curiously.
Kevin forces himself to grin, though he's never felt less like doing so. "Ready to spread the good word, little guy."
He isn't, and he doesn't. At least Nabulungi and Mafala cover the other side of the street this time. Their team gets two placements who want follow-ups tomorrow. Kevin tries to listen to the church's triumphs and funny stories on the jeep ride back, but can't focus.
As they go to bed that night, Arnold prays, as usual, but his prayer has a much different subject than his others.
"Heavenly Father, five days ago, I made my companion feel bad because he didn't act the way I thought he should. I'm really sorry about that, Lord. Whatever a person feels or doesn't feel is a part of them, and how can anything that's a natural part of you be bad? I only hope that Elder Price will grow to feel the same way. May the Force be with us, that we may live long and prosper."
Kevin grits out his own prayer. "Heavenly Father, please help us focus on helping the people of Africa. It's the reason that we're here, and the only thing we should be caring about. May the Force be with us, that we may live long and prosper."
What he prays on the inside is: Please, God, I'll do anything you want—I'll stop doubting, I'll believe in you with all my soul—if you just make me normal.
Author's Note: Quotes taken from the Asexual Visibility and Education Network's FAQ.