Disclaimer: Don't own nothing (Hoping for the cries 'Your creation is a bloody genius!' with an answer from me 'Oh, it's nothing. And I own it, ha-ha'. But that would cause the lawsuit from mama Ro or her bunch of evil lawyers. So just ignore the words in brackets;) )

Harry from the House of Wilyboldplotclaim

by

K a s y b l a c k

Chappy 2. Explanations

"Welcome to my office, Mister Potter. I guess we have some really interesting things to discuss..."

"I'm really sorry to interrupt your without a doubt well planned and respect raising speech, Professor Dumbledore, but where did that kind of the house I got sorted into appeared from? That House was not even discussed on the train...or mentioned in any books we got. As far as I know, there are only FOUR houses in this school, but that creasy piece of... mmm... clothing called me 'bout ten names!!! And I can swear you that I haven't done a thing to her... except for some treats maybe but that can hardly be an excuse for being put in the non-existent House which I suppose doesn't even have such thing as Dorm, am I not mistaken?"

'Relax, my dear boy' - the Headmaster's eyes were twinkling like mad. He crossed his long aristocratic though old-looking fingers and started explaining. 'You see, most people think that the Four Founders of our school allowed the existence of only Four Houses... though it would have been a terrible waste of the natural talents of those deemed worthy to have entered more than one of the Houses depending on their special personal qualities'.

"Erm... sir, I'm not really sure I get the meaning..."

'Do not worry, my boy. I shall explain everything to you properly. You see, our School was founded by The Four of really powerful Witches and Wizards - Godrik Griffindor, Helga Huffelpuff, Rowena Rawenclaw and Salazar Slytherin. At first, they thought that the four Houses they named by themselfes - Griffindor, Huffelpuff, Rawenclaw and Slytherin - would be enough to help their students to develop their true potential. But after the third generation of the young witches and wizards graduated they realized their mistake. You see, the houses seemed to limit people's concepts of the reality and society. Therefore, they had more problems surviving in the Medieval World than even their untrained counterparts. That is why The Founders understood that dividing the students into four houses might be too simple. Though all of them wanted to get 'their' kind of students, and all the talented ones into each one's House they did not want to make the children which had more potential than others try just to fit in and to loose the the less potent yet strong personality traits just cause the other ones were stronger. But they also knew how simple-minded the people of their age were and they were sure that won't be changing anytime soon... Not that they were severely mistaken, were they? Anyway, they didn't want people to get lost amongst all those new Houses' Names and required Traits so they settled the Secet Housing Rules after defining the Fifteen Houses System. According to that incredible rules Five Houses would be Opened while the other ten should remain Hidden. The Opened Houses are the ones everyone can read about in 'Hogwarts.The History' - Griffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw and Slytherin, which are also known as the Basic Houses and the almost forgotten one you got Sorted to, the Royal House of The Wilyboldplotclaim, known for only the best ones to enter it. There is a rumor that this House originally belonged to none other than Mordred the White, the last known blood Descendant of Merlin, and that he sold the secret of this House to the Founders in exchange of something of the unimaginable value. That might be true, especially taking the special methods of teaching used for its students...'

"Anyway, lets return to our sheep. I mean the school structure, mister Potter. I understand that you might have not seen any of the cattle in Surrey, but you do not need to be afraid of them. There are far more dangerous things in our world than them. So... the Hidden Houses are divided into Middlehouses and Upperhouses, as you might have heard. You see, the members of the Hidden houses end up in the house where their most defined capacities will develop or the next one if they refuse the first obvious choice. The six Middlehouses are for the ones having the two houses' qualities. They are Slivering (for ones having traits of the Basic Houses of Slytherin and Hufflepuff), Grab'll-Ore (for ones having traits of Griffindor and Slytherin), Huff-an'Push (for ones having traits of Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw), Interpidwit (for ones having traits of Ravenclaw and Griffindor), Valiantsweat (for ones that belong in Griffindor and Hufflepuff) and Anguinotion (for ones whose traits are of the Houses of Ravenclaw and Slytherin). Here, look at this Table of Ranks to clear everithing up later. The Middlehousers are always watched better than the Basic ones 'cause the teachers know there's more in them than meets the eye. We're also trying to provide them extra training by giving the extra assignments, tips on where the interesting information dwells and sometimes the detentions."

"The Upperhouses are known by names Archgutswit (for ones sharing traits of Griffindor, Ravenclaw and Slytherin), Pluckyslickfag (for ones sharing traits of Griffindor,Slytherin and Hufflepuff), FetchforceContrivance (for ones sharing traits of Slytherin, Ravenclaw and the Hufflepuff) and Hardyrider (for ones sharing traits of Griffindor, Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw)..."

Harry's belly made a devilously loud growl that checked the ingenious speech of Professor Dumbledore as it interrupted his flow of thoughts.

"E-er, Sir, I do not wish to offend you in any way, but is there a slight chance I might get anything to eat? I'm practically starving at the moment and I'm afraid that leaves very little attention to ANY of your explanations..."

With a frown of disappointment in his own actions or inactions (at least Harry hoped so) The Supreme Mugwump bellowed 'Come here, Donky!' The small creature with the large green eyes and even larger ears wearing something suspiciously resembling a pillowcase with the Hogwarts blazon appeared out of anywhere with the loud 'pop'. 'Young mister Potter here is really hungry, Donky. Could you bring him some tasty and nutritious food from one of the tables, please? It would be a pity if he had to miss all pleasures of the wellcoming feast'.

The creature happily - at least, Harry supposed it sounded happily - squeaked 'Donky happy do it, master Principal Dumbledore! Master Proffessor needing something eating too! You too thin!' - She added worriedly.

'That would be all, Donky' - Dumbledore said it with some masterfully not too apparent but quite notable pressure in his voice.

'Donky bad?' - the creature asked with the tears in her eyes.

'No, poor being. Donky is a good house elf, of course. Just don't push me too much about my eating habits. By the way, would you like a lemon drop?'

The creature started crying, whispering something like 'Great wizard!', 'Noble wizard!' and 'Care of the poor Donky!'. She was shaking her head in denial - and so hardly that her ears smacked her nose quite painfully for a few times and she started sobbing even more loudly before disappearing with another 'pop' sound.

'Strange creatures, those elves... Would you like a lemon drop, Harry?'

"Not really. Wouldn't want to spoil appetite, Sir".

'Right you are, my boy, right you are...'

Meanwhile, in the Great Hall...

Ron was admiring the food in front of him, unable to choose what he could try first. But then he mused at his own stupidity. "I may try it all! Of course, silly me!"

As he reached his hand to grab the piece of incredibly juicy meat pie, it disappeared with a loud 'pop'.

'Fred! George! What did I ever do to you?' - The boy asked his brothers, who were not sure whether Ron has already found a dozen of large Tarantulas in the underwear at the bottom of his trunk.

'What do you mean, oh small brother of mine?' - Their too innocent looks only confirmed Ron's suspicions.

'Just... don't do it again, OK?'

'OK' - answered his brothers with two identical frowns. He was too calm to have already discovered the spiders. Than what?

The itching powder in his socks? Definitely not. Flesh-eating action figure? No, he's got all fingers attached properly... But that was all, wasn't it?

'Are we separating our ways?' they asked each other and read the confirmation in the bottom of each other's eyes. 'No, definitely not'.

Than they smiled and jumped up in joy 'We've got an adversary!'

Ron eyed a malicious (in his humble opinion) pair's joy with the slight suspicion for a few moments, then decided that their joy and jumping shall prevent them from stealing his food. As his hand reached for the glass of pumpkin juice, a 'pop' sounded and the juice disappeared too. Ron glared at the twins, but they seemed too busy plotting something and watching the Griffindor Table. 'That's just a coincidence' Ron tried to calm himself. 'Relax, no one is plotting to make you go to the bed totally hungry after seeing such a great amount of this definitely delicious food'. But the moment his hand tried to inconspicuously grab a piece of chicken it also dissolved in the air. 'AARGH!' The next few tries to put a hand at something at least edible were a total waste of efforts - even the try including some advanced usage of toes and tooth pickers...

Meanwhile, Donky decided that she has had enough food for the old and the young Masters and popped into the Headmaster's Office. She heard them talking

"...So no one except for the part of the Hidden House members and most of the staff knows about the secret houses we have?"

'Nope. Not a soul. We never tell the Defense Against the Dark Arts teachers because the flowability of that position's occupants is just too high. You see, they say that this position is cursed so the teachers do not last more than a year… Poor beings don't usually have got enough time left, so why bother them with such primitive issues...'

'… Aha, after accepting this position they should better be starting to think of the Eternity, and the Noble way to enter it, not of the way to gamble this new information, right?'

'Right you are, my boy, right you are...' – Professor said with traceable amount of pride in his voice…

Ron was almost totally pushed into the deep despair but he made one last try, suddenly jumping to the left and grabbing a large golden dish covered with a cloth, then running out of the Hell of a Hall polluted with depraved food stealers. As he reached the closest set or armor, he hid behind it and took off the cloth. The anguished yell rang throughout the empty corridors of Hogwarts... It had only a large pile of Broccoli inside!