Arnold runs into Brian Church on the way to the outhouse the next morning.
"H—Hi, Elder Church."
The sky is just light enough that Arnold can make out Brian's return nod—and the tightening of his jaw muscles. Brian keeps walking without another word.
Thoughts of the outhouse forgotten, Arnold says, "Wait. Please?"
Brian stops, with a heavy sigh that makes Arnold's stomach drain to his toes. "Yes?"
Man up, Arnold. I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. "I just wanted to say that...I know, with your family and everything, this past week must've been so difficult for you. I totally get that you want to do something to get all the badness to stop. It's natural." Brian looks utterly unimpressed, which makes Arnold add, "Heck, I've felt the same way. When the prequels came out...that was a really dark time for me."
That finally gets a response from Brian: a surprised blink. "You mean the Star Wars prequels, don't you?"
"Um, well, yeah." Arnold realizes that he's had much worse things happen to him lately: Sister Damisi's husband getting shot in front of him; Kevin telling him they weren't friends and abandoning him; the villagers' disastrous play for the mission president. Those probably would've been better examples.
Brian certainly seems to think so. He shakes his head, snorting in disgust, and turns back to the outhouse.
Arnold shouts after him, "I—I just think what Elder Hatimbi said about emailing your bishop is the best thing to do!" Brian doesn't even glance back. Heat floods Arnold's face. This is what I get for talking without Kevin or Nabulungi with me!
What's worse, they both have to get in line for the outdoor showers. It's horribly awkward. Once he's inside rinsing himself off, Arnold stumbles and knocks over the large bucket of soapy water, to the dismayed groan of Elders Davis and Neeley behind him. Now they'll go without a shower because another full bucket means going over the church's water ration for the week.
"Nice job breaking it, hero," says GLaDOS from Portal as Arnold apologizes profusely.
He knows he's not in the best frame of mind when he asks to speak to Nabulungi privately. But Nabulungi deserves to know that her fiancé couldn't fall asleep because his mind kept replaying Kevin's unexpected hug—with his imagination supplying details that definitely hadn't been there in reality.
Nabulungi follows him to his and Kevin's room. They leave the door open. Grinning, Nabulungi glances between their two beds. "I think I know whose is whose." She sits down not on Kevin's perfectly-made bed, but Arnold's untucked, crumb-covered one.
"I am so excited about the orphanage today," she says. "All my life, I lived from day to day. I always hoped for something better, but I never thought it would actually happen! Now, it has—and I can share my good fortune with children who have less than even I. Today is a blessed day!"
Maybe not, Arnold thinks, but he can't help but grin as he sits down beside her. Their hands naturally seek each other out, like two halves being made whole.
"I have been thinking, Elder Cunningham, that we should tell others our good news. Who knows? Perhaps it will make Elder Church stay."
Arnold is pretty sure it won't, but he plays along. "Sure. We could announce it over breakfast or something."
Nabulungi frowns, puzzled. "Should we not tell Baba, your parents, and Elders Price and McKinley first?"
"Yes! Great idea!" She must think he's such an idiot. Then she smiles and squeezes his hand, and Arnold thinks that, for some reason, she doesn't.
"I have been working on an email to your mother and father since last night," Nabulungi says, a worried frown between her eyebrows. "It is not going well. I prayed to God for the words. He...did not give them to me, but I feel much more peaceful about it now than I did last night."
"I hadn't even thought that far ahead," Arnold admits. She's so good at this social thing! Yet another reason he needs her in his life. "I'm sure Mom'll love it. And Dad," he lies quickly.
She knows he's lying—she's heard him worry about Dad's only email often enough. But she doesn't call him on it. Instead, she looks around his and Kevin's room. "I hope it will not be too hard to say goodbye to the mission."
"Um...why would I say goodbye?"
"We would have to leave once we were married. I am a woman; I cannot stay in here. Right?"
Arnold grins. "I am the prophet, you know. I'm sure the guys will be cool with it."
"There is a spare room for us?"
His grin deflates. "Not really...Where did you think we'd live?"
"With Baba. Around here, married couples are expected to make their own shack, but we do not have enough tin for a roof yet." She glances around the room, then chuckles. "I would not make you leave a building with electricity and a nearby pump for a mud hut with a tin roof."
How is all of this going to work? "Let's see...I guess Elder Price could bunk in one of the other rooms—"
Nabulungi shakes her head, looking alarmed. "Oh, no, no! I could not ask Elder Price to give up his room. Maybe we should keep our living arrangements the same."
It's so like her to be so concerned with another's feelings. "Elder Price doesn't even like being my roommate," Arnold explains with a grin. "I'm a total slob and he's a total neat freak. Believe me, he'd love it if I asked him to leave."
Her alarm doesn't disappear, but just lessens to worry. "I am not convinced he would." She shakes her head again. "I do not want to come here and disrupt everything."
"Well, I'm definitely not living without you, Mrs. Cunningham."
Nabulungi's smile wipes any coherent thought from Arnold's mind. "Mrs. Cunningham. I suppose I must get used to calling you Arnold."
A weird Chewie-type sound escapes his mouth. He could listen to her say his name all day. But, he remembers, sighing, we have other things to talk about. Sweat dribbles from his armpits.
"So, we'll tell your dad, Elder Price and Elder McKinley today, okay? Maybe email my parents in a day or two or something." Get the easy stuff out of the way first.
"Sounds wonderful." Nabulungi kisses his cheek. Her face lingers near his, so he kisses her cheek. He glances at the open door with a heavy sigh and they break apart.
"Is that all you wanted to talk about?" Nabulungi asks.
Too many thoughts crowd Arnold's head. He can't speak. Heavenly Father, I couldn't live with myself if I hurt her...
"You're being inappropriate, son," his father says, as he said many years ago when Arnold talked a little too long about one of his male classmate's looks.
Then his dad vanishes, replaced by Tara from Buffy, who gives him a warm, kind smile. "No—don't listen to him. My family called me a demon because I was different, but my difference was actually my strength. Be strong, Arnold."
Captain Jack Harkness smiles indulgently. "You twenty-first century humans and your quaint categories. Come on—I'm bisexual and I'm awesome, aren't I?"
Be like Captain Jack, Arnold thinks.
Just as he's about to speak, though, Xander from Buffy steps in. "Buuuut maybe don't tell her about Kevin. You don't have to tell your fiancée everything. Uh, even though when the Scoobies kept secrets, everything went to Hellmouth in a handbasket... Wait, can I try again?"
"Sometimes," growls Christian Bale Batman, "you have to keep secrets from the one you love to keep the Joker from killing her."
"Exactly what I was gonna say," says Xander. He glances at Batman. "Jeez, ever heard of a lozenge?"
A glowing Jesus with nails in his hands and feet says, "And sometimes, you gotta tell the truth, man. Lying about Kevin is totally uncool, Arnold, and you know it."
Right! Thanks, Jesus.
"You'll lose her," says his father, so disappointed in his son.
"Arnold...?" A real voice. A real hand on his cheek, real black eyes gazing into his own.
"Um, there is something else, actually..." Nabulungi looks at him, innocent and expectant. Arnold gulps. "So, Elder Price is my best friend. He's, uh, always going to be a part of my life, I hope."
She smiles. "I hope so, too. You two are practically brothers."
"I love you, but I also love Elder Price," he blurts out. She smiles reassuringly, about to say something like, You just said that, which means he's not doing his job right. "Not in the same way...exactly, but, um, sometimes—just sometimes—more similar than...not-similar."
She still doesn't look like she gets it. "Oh?"
He glances away. "Um. He's...handsome." He goes through the motions of swallowing, though his mouth is bone-dry. "I'm...uh, bisexual, kinda." A bead of sweat flows down his forehead. He wipes it away with even-sweatier fingers, leaving four slimy trails across his skin. "Well, not kinda," he admits miserably.
Nabulungi chuckles. The sound is so unexpected that Arnold flinches. "Oh, is that all?"
Arnold tries to figure out what she just said. "Huh?"
She's smiling. Why? To keep herself from crying? "Do you think I never noticed how much you touch him?"
"I'm like that with everybody," Arnold mumbles, embarrassed. "It's such a bad habit..."
"But you're like that more with Elder Price, who is going to be part of your life for two more years at least." Still smiling, she leans in and briefly kisses his lips. "I knew that when I fell in love with you. If it bothered me, I would have kept my feelings quiet."
"But it should bother you!" Arnold blurts out. "Love is...wanting someone totally. All of them." Maybe it doesn't bother her because she's not in love with him...
"For some people." Is this some Ugandan cultural barrier he didn't know about? His confusion must show on his face, for, watching him, Nabulungi becomes thoughtful. "Before you and Elder Price arrived, my future was simple. I would get circumcised, marry a boy from the next village, get AIDS, and I would raise child after child and hope one of them would outlive me. Now..." she shakes her head, as if she can't believe it. "My future is so big. It scares me, sometimes. But it is wonderful, of course," she adds quickly. "And most wonderful of all is that I have your love.
"So when you say I should feel jealousy because being close to a man makes you happy...I cannot." She shrugs and spreads her hands in a gesture of helplessness. "I am strange, I know, but I want you to be happy in whatever way makes you happy."
Arnold opens his mouth and closes it a few times. Um, I guess, thanks for answering my prayer, God? "Guess you do things differently here in Uganda 'cuz of polygamy and all," he mutters, trying to sort out his reaction.
Nabulungi blinks, surprised. She thinks for a moment, then says, "I had forgotten polygamy was legal. The men of this village have been too poor to take more than one wife for generations. And," there's a mischievous glint in her eyes as she leans in and whispers, "polygamy hardly extends to boooooyfrieeeends."
A loud bark of laughter bursts from Arnold. Her teasing leeches some of the awkwardness surrounding his feelings for Kevin. He had never thought that was possible until this minute.
"He's not," he adds, not ashamed or panicked, just wanting to clarify. "He won't be." He watches her intently as he says, "Except for once in a while in my head. If that's okay...?"
"Fine by me," she says, as casually as if they're discussing what to have for dinner tonight. "Just love me, too." She chuckles, weirdly breathless. "At least talk to me if you get the urge to run off with Elder Price and leave me alone."
Arnold's next bout of laughter can probably be heard throughout the mission. "Oh, man! Hah! Don't worry about that. Elder Price is...well, definitely not gay."
Now Arnold gets what he was expecting: a worried frown, an awkward pause. His heart stops. "And you would not even if he were gay, right?"
She was serious. She's actually worried about that. His heart starts up again, now thudding louder than a car alarm, while he scrambles for a reply.
"It's okay," Firefly's Simon Tam says to Arnold, "I accidentally told my girlfriend I was only dating her because the only other women in my life were married or my sister. You can still recover!"
"Oh—oh, jeez, of course not, Nabulungi! What we have is true, Westley-and-Buttercup kind of love!"
A relieved sigh bursts from her. "Good! Good." She chuckles awkwardly, and he squeezes her hand.
His head is spinning. Part of him wants to ask, When did I give myself away? and, Do you think anyone else knows about me? but he isn't sure he can bear the answer.
"Are you sure Elder Price is not gay?" Nabulungi asks, dragging him out of his thoughts. "I just assumed that what happened between him and the General scared him off of admitting it."
Arnold almost spills the beans, but stops himself. Kevin wouldn't appreciate that. "Haven't seen lots of hints from him, honestly. He's always been a guy who's dedicated to the mission."
Nabulungi looks disappointed. "Sister Kimbay thinks he dumped her because he must be gay or worried about AIDS."
Arnold winces. "I'm a hundred percent sure that Elder Price wasn't even thinking about AIDS. I mean, he suggested that verse where God says AIDS isn't passed through kissing." Arnold's contribution had been having God tell this to Joseph Smith and his wife, Princess Leia. Kevin hadn't been very happy about that. "I know he feels really bad about what went down between him and Sister Kimbay. Could you tell her that?"
"Mm, perhaps it will go better if he tells her that." She shrugs. "Well, whatever Elder Price is, I hope that he—"
Right on the heels of her words, Kevin appears in the doorway, his expression alarmingly aloof. Nabulungi's mouth snaps shut.
"Hey, guys. The bus is practically here."
OH NO HE HEARD US HE KNOWS ABOUT THE CRUSH OH MY GOD—
Wait, wait, no, calm down. He must've just arrived. If he heard anything, he just heard...me and Nabulungi gossiping about whether he's gay or not. Oh. Great.
"THANKS, BUDDY!" At Kevin's rolled eyes, Arnold cringes. Too loud, again. He's always going to be the klutz who spilled the shower water, the moron who compared domestic abuse to the Star Wars prequels, the pervert who thought inappropriate things about a guy who gave him a friendly hug...
Then, Nabulungi squeezes his hand. Arnold's mental wails become mumbles. They don't matter as much anymore: not when he has her. He moves in to kiss her—Kevin huffs in annoyance—but she pulls back.
"Thank you, Elder Price," she says, leading Arnold out of their room. Kevin takes his position on Arnold's right as they break into a trot to make sure they catch the bus.
He passes Jesus and Captain Jack Harkness, who give him a thumbs up. Arnold mouths 'Thank you' to both of them.