BEDTIME STORIES

Author's Notes: Many thanks to all of you who have reviewed my story and added it to your alerts and favorites. It's always a pleasure to hear from you and very much appreciated. This is my first attempt at a kid fic. With the recent storyline exploring Neal's past, I found myself thinking more about him as a child. From last weeks episode, it looks like big Neal is going to need all the hugs and kisses he can get. I'd love to read him a bedtime story.

The Thanksgiving holidays were rapidly approaching and this year the Burkes felt especially thankful. Elizabeth was in her third trimester. Their OB/GYN said everything looked good. All her tests were normal, no signs of cervical dilation on her last visit. She felt she could finally breathe a little. She let herself begin to dream, think of names. They knew the sex, a boy. Sean Patrick Burke, a combination of the names of her dad and Peter's dad.

Her business was taking off and Peter's promotion to the White Collar Division was a dream come true. Now if she could just convince him to shave that silly mustache. Her parents were coming in to help with Thanksgiving dinner at the end of the week. Her mother was still careful around her, trying not to get too excited. Her aunt Frances wasn't as circumspect. She said to her at the last family outing,"God wouldn't be so cruel to take another baby from you."

Two miscarriages and she resigned herself, it wouldn't happen for them. Then they were pregnant again. Peter was so happy. She was at work when the cramps started, but not like before. They were hard and coming every couple of minutes. It couldn't be, she was having contractions. It was too soon, barely seven months. She called Peter. The eternal optimist he held her hand reciting the favorable statistics on preemies, as he choked back his tears. She told him not to worry, everything would be fine. Their little boy lived two hours and ten minutes.

Wcwcwcwwc

Sean. The name of his son brought everything back in a flood. The unbearable image of that tiny body, so still. His pain was huge, but he couldn't lose control. She needed him. He would put himself between her and whatever danger in a heartbeat. How could he fix what was so broken. Eventually clarity, simplified by loss presented like a swimmer rising up through water. He couldn't do anything about the past, but he could save their future. They would look forward, choose life over death, choose a future filled with love. Determination drove him, his determination saved them.

"God, El. I'm so sorry. I didn't think. I didn't realize how having Neal here might affect you."

"It's not your fault honey. I thought I'd dealt with it. It didn't just happen to me, it happened to you too."

It took time, a lot of time. The empty spaces, the unfathomable sorrow all but consumed her back then. Apparently exiled from God's graces, she had come close to the edge but Peter would never let her fall off. He whispered to her quietly that he loved her when he thought she'd finally fallen asleep. He refused to let her be a woman suspended in grief. He believed in her when she couldn't. He could see their future with a clarity that eluded her.

Peter said they would be happy again and they were. They have an amazing life of love, happiness and friendship. Yet for all he had given to her, for all his goodness, he couldn't erase every pain. Like a phantom limb, sometimes she could still feel the heart beat of the tiny life that grew inside her body. The idea of another child being taken away... too much. She knew blame was inappropriate, but yet it crept it's way in. Peter deserved everything. Everything but the one thing she couldn't give him. How could she deny him now?

"You love Neal, Peter. I love Neal too. I just...I just need your help …..because I don't know how to lose another child." her voice broke as she leaned into his chest.

"We are not going to lose Neal. Adult or child, Neal is family, our family. Nothing is going to change that fact Best case scenario he reverts back to his wildly annoying but lovable self. If he doesn't ….best case scenario we've been given an incredible opportunity El... to change his life and ours. But it's up to you." His eyes were pure, his face was gentle.

Here he was again, so willing to sacrifice himself for her. She loved this man more than she thought possible and loved him more even now.

"So let's make it legal," she said smiling up at him.

" I think the Burkes certainly pass muster, would make great adoptive parents. Did I ever tell you, you're the best wife ever?"

"Shh, come to bed."

Wcwcwcwcwc

In the morning, Neal doesn't appear to remember anything from yesterday. He seems perfectly normal and happy. Peter can't detect any sign of emotional trauma as the little boy bursts into his room.

"Peter, you awake?"

"Good morning Neal, yes."

"Oh ...good morning. I can't find my red shirt. I need it for today, it's Sam's favorite." he said breathing rapidly.

Peter had been up for sometime, awakened by the smell of freshly brewed French Roast permeating the house. Elizabeth, God bless her was fast at work making breakfast downstairs in the kitchen.

"OK buddy, let's see if we can find it. He rubbed his eyes and thought who the heck is Sam?

Neal already showing signs of the fastidiousness that characterized his grown up self had had Elizabeth organize all his clothes by color. Peter sorted thru the drawer and found the red shirt under his red shorts. In his excitement, little Neal had overlooked them.

"Thank you Peter." he nodded with relief.

"Who is Sam?"

"Our guinea pig and today is my day to feed him at school. Sloan fed him yesterday but he wasn't too hungry. She doesn't know what he likes. She goes too fast and Sam doesn't like it."

"Oh. So what do you have for Sam?"

"Carrot sticks and raisins."

"Isn't that your favorite snack Elizabeth makes for you?".

"Um, hmm. Don't tell Elizabeth, but I sneaked some to Sam and he really liked it."

"I don't think she would mind."

"Peter, can I tell you a secret?" a look of worry crossed his face.

"Sure buddy."

"I don't think Lizabeth wants me anymore."

Peter's eyes welled up. "Sweetheart, that's not true. Come here." Neal walked over and sat in Peter's lap, blue eyes wide and shining.

"Elizabeth and I love you very much. Elizabeth was scared yesterday because she loves you and doesn't want anything bad to happen to you ever."

"I shouldna kicked the table."

"True. But when you heard us talking in the kitchen, she was worried that we might not be able to keep you."

"And now you can?"

"You bet. You belong to us and nothing will ever change that."

"Is Lizabeth still worried?"

"No kiddo, she's not. We are the men of the house you know, and it's our job to protect her and not worry her."

"I can protect Lizabeth. I'm really strong." Neal jumps down from Peter's lap and gives his best superhero pose.

"I can see that. Well, when you see Elizabeth I want you to give her a big hug and kiss. Can you do that for me buddy?"

"Of course, Peter," he looked at Peter like...is that all? He didn't even need any superpowers to do that. He pulled at his red shirt.

"Do you need any help? Peter smiled..

"I'm not a baby, Peter. I can do it." He took out his khaki pants and red sneakers Elizabeth had helped him pick. When Peter returns Neal is impeccably attired.

"OK, I smell pancakes. Last one down is a …...the little boy took off running... a rotten egg. Hey, no cheating."

Overhead Elizabeth could hear the sound of feet rapidly padding down the stairs. She looked up to find Neal with an absolutely radiant grin, the precursor of things to come.

"Good morning Lizabeth. I beat Peter," he shouts with delight.

Neal runs to her throws his arms around her, and kisses her cheek three times. His kisses are warm and smell like mint flavored toothpaste. A moment later Peter arrives slightly winded, Satchmo barking at his feet. He looks on approvingly his mouth ready to smile. Neal sees the carrot sticks and raisin package on the counter, next to his Flintstones vitamins.

"Lizabeth, you didn't forget."

"How could I? Today is your day to feed Sam. You know what else today is? Pizza night."

"Yeah, and I get to pick. Right?"

"Yes you do honey."

Pizza night was a recent development in the Burke home, because somebody really really loves pizza. When it's your night you get to pick out your favorite toppings. Last time was Peter's and they had pepperoni and cheese. Neal and Elizabeth agreed it was pretty boring. Elizabeth said Peter was a pizza purist. Neal alternated between thinking of his pizza toppings and attacking his pancakes with relish. He was really hungry. Peter blinked when he polished off two before him.

"OK guys I got to go," Peter slipped on his jacket. Is it safe to leave you two alone?" he smiled crookedly.

Neal and Elizabeth looked at each other with bewilderment. Elizabeth came around the table and kissed Peter's cheek.

"Go, I got this hon. And tonight I got this," she swatted Peter's butt playfully.

"Lizabeth!" Neal giggled and put his hands over his eyes.

Elizabeth made a list of Neal's ingredients for pizza night and finished packing his backpack.

Neal is so excited he can hardly stand still. He has been looking forward to this all week. He climbs into the car and lets Elizabeth strap him in. He tells her about all the new friends he's made, especially Sloan. Sloan sits next to him during story time. His teacher, Ms. Daley told her she has to share more, but he doesn't mind. Sloan is very pretty he announces. Elizabeth smiles, and so it begins she thinks.

Elizabeth pulls up to the schoolyard. As she unbuckles him, Neal leans his head against her and places one small hand against her cheek. Joy filled her to her fingertips.

"Thank you, Lizabeth," he says. Then he was out the door in a flash. She watched him run toward Ms. Daley his blue nylon backpack filled with carrot sticks and raisins.

"Don't forget my stuff for pizza night, OK" he waved and disappeared into the building.

Elizabeth let out the breath she was holding. Everything in her began to settle and calm in a deep primal way. This felt so right. It was a beautiful day, warmer than usual for this time of year. She turned on the radio and laughed as she went over the list of ingredients Neal had given her for his pizza. His first ingredient was pineapple. Poor Peter.

The day went by quickly. She had all her shopping done. Peter would be home in another hour. It was time to pick up Neal. Traffic had come to a crawl and then stopped altogether when she heard the first siren. She was two blocks away from Neal's school. Then there were more sirens and the blinking lights of an ambulance being waved through.

"What's going on?" she asked from her window to a man standing on the street.

"Some guy lost control of his car and plowed into the schoolyard down the street. Texting, there ought to be a law."

For a moment she couldn't comprehend. She couldn't get her brain to work properly. "What did you say?" her voice sounded normal but a a tremor of fear snaked around her heart making it hard to breathe. She left the car somehow, her point of reference the schoolyard ahead. She can see the police cars, the ambulance and knows somehow this will involve her. An officer insists on holding her back.

"My little boy is in there," she's crying now. Her fingers are like tentacles as she grabs the officer's arm. Her grip is frightening.

"You have to let me through, her words were electric. Please!"

"Ma'am I'm sorry..."

She doesn't remember pushing him aside and running to the ambulance. The paramedics are loading a small body into the back. All she can see are the tiny red sneakers peeking out from under the sheets.

"Neal! Neal! My baby! Her crying is loud and awful. My baby, these are the only two words she knows.. her only bridge to him.

"Mrs. Burke, Mrs. Burke it's not Neal." Ms. Daley is holding her hand talking soothingly. She has to tell her three times; because her blood is pounding through her head drowning everything but her fear.

"Neal's inside, he went back in right before the accident. He said he forgot to put Sam's water up for the weekend. It's Sloan, she says haltingly. They were standing together moments before the accident.. her voice trailed off.

"He's not..."

"Mommy, Mommy," Neal shouted as he ran and threw himself against Elizabeth. She sank down beside him gathering his small frame into her arms. He leaned all his weight against her, his small body trembling.

"Baby, you're OK?"

"Sloan got hit by a car," he sniffled. She kissed his cheek and neck, and felt his small body relax. She can't remember how long they stayed like that, every minute a moment of grace.

Ms. Daley told them Sloan would be OK. They thought her arm might be broken though.

Neal asked what was going to happen to Sam. He thought Sam might be scared by all the sirens and bright lights from the ambulances. Elizabeth convinced Ms. Daley to let Neal take Sam home for the weekend. It seemed to reassure him. When Sloan got better he said he was going to bring him to visit her.

By the time they arrived back home, Peter was waiting for them. Elizabeth called him soon as Neal and Sam were safely settled in the car. Neal ran to him as he opened the door, telling him in great detail about the accident and Sloan and how he was going to take care of Sam so he wouldn't be scared or worried.

"Everything OK out there? Elizabeth calls from the kitchen. How are you boys doing?"

"Good, Neal's introducing Sam to Satchmo," Peter says as he walks in and puts his arms around her waist. "How you holding up?"

"I love you Peter," she leaned into the warmth of his touch.

"He's going to be fine. We're going to be fine."

"Did I ever tell you you're the best husband ever"

Neal came in and wrapped his arms around Elizabeth's legs.

"Am I your best too?" he looked up at her with that disarming smile. She lifted him, drawing him into the embrace of Peter's arms both leaning against his chest.

"You bet baby. I'm the luckiest girl in the world, to have my two best fellas right here."

In the past, sometimes Neal felt excluded when they held hands and talked to each other. Today he would never be happier than he was at this moment.

Too wound up to take a nap before dinner, he insisted on getting started with pizza night. When Peter eats his pizza Neal watches him closely. Peter was never so happy to have pineapple on his pizza. With pizza night a resounding success, an exhausted Neal was soon asleep on his feet.

"Time for bed, buddy."

"Kay," the little boy yawned.

Peter looks over to Elizabeth at the sink, incredibly her beauty seemed to be increasing over time. He took Neal for his bath and got him dressed for bed.

"Can you read me a story?"

"You had a very big day today buddy, it's past your bedtime."

"Please? Neal clutched his blue pigeon.

"OK, just one," Peter says as he eyes that pesky pigeon. He climbs in bed next to the small boy. Satchmo has his nose pressed against Sam's cage watching him with a mixture of curiosity and suspicion. Sam for his part pays no attention as he nibbles his pineapple slices and carrot sticks. Done in the kitchen, Elizabeth comes in and reminds Peter of their most recent addition to their bedtime stories, Don't Let the Pigeon Stay up Late.

He mouths, "Thank you, Hon. Hey Neal, how bout we read a new story with your friend pigeon?"

"Yay! Neal reaches for Elizabeth's hand and pulls her into bed so he is sandwiched between them.

"I want mommy... I mean Lizabeth to read it."

Peter and Elizabeth's gaze meet over the little boys head and joy communicates itself instantly.

"Mommy, would love to read it to you, sweetheart."

"You know studies show pigeons hardly need any sleep at all," Elizabeth begins.

The end.