Birthmarks

AN: Remy's quote with the '**' just before is directly from Grey's Anatomy, but instead of 'Al' it's really "Dr. Grey'… I just loved this quote so much… so I decided to put it in. Thank you Grey's writers! Oh, and the scenes that are actually from the show, Kutner is originally saying Thirteen's lines.

Remy stared at the bottle in the convenience store that she had stopped at on her way home. She had a half-day because she had been thinking too much… or maybe she was finally thinking the right amount.

She signed a month-to-month lease on an apartment right across the street. She was going to try to move out before Allison got home… it worked perfectly because Allison was working a double that day so she had plenty of time… and she hadn't been fully moved in at this point anyways.

She went back home… back to Allison's and thanked the Lord she'd beat the movers… but only by a hair. She told them what stayed and what went and they were done packing in under an hour. She went with them to the new apartment and grabbed as much crap as she could before she took them all to her new place… They were only there another hour and a half before they left and Remy was on her way back home… to Allison's—God! She had to get that in her head then and there!

She got pretty much everything in her car, the only thing left was Witherspoon… and she needed to wait to take him down… So… she waited… and waited.

Allison was half asleep by the time she finally got home… but she didn't miss the fact that half of their living room was gone. She stood where Remy's couch had been for the few moments she was in the living room by herself. Remy came out of the bathroom and froze, staring at the blonde.

"Rem…?" Allison looked at her.

"Yeah…" Remy looked down and rubbed the back of her neck with her palm.

"What… Um… Where the hell's the couch?"

"It's at my new place." She said softly.

"You're—?" Her head snapped up to the brunette, "You're what now?"

"My new place… I got another apartment." She licked her lips and bit her bottom lip in trepidation.

Allison looked up, willing the tears to go back in her eyes.

"Al…"

Allison shook her head and sunk to the floor, "We're not even going to discuss it? You're just going to leave?"

"I have to." Remy's voice was soft as she walked cautiously over to the blonde and sunk in front of her.

"No."

"Yes." Remy nodded.

"NO!" Allison said again, as firmly as a two-year-old.

"Yes." Remy's voice was still calm.

"No you don't!" Allison hit the floor with her fist, "We can work it out! We can—"

"No we can't." Remy's voice was unwavering. "We cannot work the fact out that I will not let you spend the rest of my life with me because we both know that you deserve better than me…"

"No—"

"Yes! Al… yes you do. You want to know what's been in my head for the passed almost… three months? There are only two things that run through it: I have my mother's disease, and Allison deserves better. You deserve someone that you can live your life out with and no matter how many trials… no matter how many things we find to help prolong it… we won't be able to. The fact of the matter is I'm dying. Eventually I won't know who the hell you are, and I can't let you take care of me. I can't let you stay attached to me… I can't."

Allison looked at her through tears in her eyes, "But they're making advances everyday—"

"It's not gonna help me, Babe…" Remy shook her head, "It's already starting… My hand has already twitched…" she shrugged, **" I watched my mother go through this Al, I-I know how this goes. After the spastic hand comes the slurred speech and then the trouble walking and the difficulty eating and the seizures and the memory loss and then the dementia sets in so badly that you don't know if you're in the supermarket…. Or the bathroom." She wiped a tear that she hadn't realized she shed until it was too late. "I am not letting you go through this with me. You deserve someone that will cherish you… not someone that needs you to help her shower or dress in the mornings…" She leaned in and kissed her, "I love you. I do." She kissed her cheek, "But I am ending this relationship." She stood up and walked over to Witherspoon's tank and took it with her as she walked out of the apartment.

She heard Allison begin sobbing as she shut the door and it took all her power not to break down and run over to her. She was almost to the elevator when the door flew open and Allison ran around her stopping her.

"I'm not letting you break up with me." She said firmly, "You are not allowed to break up with me. Now turn around and put that damn turtle back where he goes then get into bed." She wiped her face the entire time she spoke, each time she finished once cheek she found her other cheek wet again.

"Al."

"NO!" She cried, "Get back inside!" she insisted and pushed on Remy, "Get back inside!" Her determination became more of a pleading as her vision became blurry and her nose clogged, "Get back inside! We're not breaking up! We're not break—" She couldn't help the sob that came.

"Okay." Remy set Witherspoon back inside the apartment quickly and pulled Allison as she sank against the wall. She knew that the neighbor was going to come out any minute because she was a nosy old bat… She wasn't going to let that blue-haired woman see Allison like this. She picked her up and carried her inside.

They sunk against the door as it shut, and the tightening in her chest gave way to a few tears as she held Allison. They stayed like that four three hours, neither moving.

Allison's voice was horse when she spoke, "We're not breaking up. We're still in love."

"Sometimes love isn't enough, Babe… I don't want you to—"

"But I want to!" She interrupted, "I want to."

"No." Remy said firmly. "I want to know that you're happy and well-off when I'm still lucid enough to recognize you. I want to know that you're gonna have babies and a family that can be with you for the rest of your life… we've always talked about mine… never yours… you need someone to look out for you… you need to be one of those cute wrinkly couples that goes to a restaurant and yells at each other because you both forgot your hearing aides and you guys both hold hands and everyone except for the little children around you think that you all are so fucking cute that they got home and tell their family and friends about them… You need to do that you can't… I won't let you take care of me."

Allison stared at her. Her lip started quivering first then tears filled her eyes, "I want that to be us."

"You know that I would give anything for that to be… but it's just… not in the cards for us…" she kissed the blonde's temple and they sat there a bit longer… this time, she interrupted the silence, "When Chase finds out that we broke up… say 'yes' to him…"

"What?" Allison pulled away.

"He's been in love with you for like… five years… Give him a chance."

"But I'm not attracted to him or his man-parts."

"I think you are more than you think… I think that you really are a five, not a six on the Kinsey scale.."

Allison stared at her, "He is charming."

"So say 'yes' when he asks you out after he finds out that we're not together." Remy's eyes were filled with tears as were Allison's who only nodded. "I'm going to go… okay?" The blonde only nodded again, "Okay." Remy kissed Allison's hair and turned for Witherspoon then left the apartment.

Allison sat there for a while longer. She looked up at the ceiling, "I am not a religious person." She said quietly, "I do my best to avoid you at all costs. But I am a decent human being. I'm a damn good human being actually. So I'm gonna ask you this once. I'm going to ask you this because I have clearly run out of options… Please let us be together. We are all the other has and if you're so all-knowing and omniscient then you know it's true. So stop doing this to us and let us have each other! It's bad enough that you gave her Huntington's but now you have to go and make her think like that? Does it really make you wonder why I don't believe in you?" She shook her head, "Fuck, I am sitting here talking to a God I don't believe in…"

She got up and barely had the energy to make it to her bed. She took the pillow that Remy slept on and held it tight as she tried to sleep.

Remy locked her new apartment door after getting everything out of her car. She looked around at the haphazard boxes and piles of clothes and DVDs and just completely random shit that littered her new place and she sunk to the floor. "What the fuck did I do?" She asked herself.

Thoughts of Allison and Chase holding hands started flooding her mind and she kicked the floor in anger. She let the floodgates open and she cried through most of the night. She couldn't even get up to go to her bed… she was too busy lying in her metaphorical bed that she had made up already.

~0~0~0~0~0~

As House was gone and on his way to his father's funeral with Wilson, Thirteen knew that this week was going to be as easy as possible… what with not having to deal with Allison's best friend mocking, degrading and making fun of her all day.

She knew that she shouldn't but she volunteered to go tell Foreman about the patient. She actually grabbed the results out of Kutner's hand before he could say anything. She heard Allison's voice as she approached… it was God damn fucking music to her ears… She hadn't seen her in a week and a half and the only thing she wanted was to curl into the blonde and get her to hold her. She took a breath as she listened.

"What do you think House would send, the "gentle comfort" arrangement or the "warm thoughts" bouquet?... I mean, if he wasn't an ass." Cameron asked the other two.

"Send one of those giant cookies shaped like a coffin." Thirteen knew that Cameron was giving him her death glare, "His mom would believe it was from him."

"I didn't tell you so you could send anything. Just wanted you to know the extent to which the man is disconnected from the human race." Foreman looked over at the blonde before she turned back to the computer screen.

Thirteen decided to step into the conversation at this point, "Took a six-pack of FFP to stop the oozing."

Cameron whipped around. She acted like a fish out of water, first at seeing Remy because she was so going to say something…. Then she had to remember was that was. She closed her eyes a moment, "She's bleeding and clotting?"

Remy eyes quickly turned misty, but she pretended they didn't, "Plus schistocytes on her smear means it's DIC, which means she's got cancer."

Cameron swallowed and kept staring without blinking, "She's young. It could be leukemia."

Remy shook her head, but also didn't take her eyes from the blonde woman, "Normal WBC makes that less likely."

"The belly pain points toward a GI tumor." Foreman noted.

Thirteen didn't looked over to him, but she did manage to have the decency to turn her head a bit as she kept her eyes stuck on Cameron, "House already did an ultrasound."

"He wasn't looking for a tumor. Go run a CT." Foreman said.

It took a moment for Remy to process what was being asked of her. She eventually nodded and walked off.

~0~0~0~0~0~

After getting cut off from House as he was in the middle of a metaphor, the new ducklings stayed to ponder while Foreman again went in search of Cameron and Chase…. And after they figured it out, Thirteen again darted from the two men and down to the ER where Cameron, Chase and Foreman were all discussing… She just about ran into Foreman though as he had turned to leave.

She ignored the almost run-in and glanced behind him at Allison, who was looking at her curiously, "The steamroller means potholes—"

"Relax. We got it." Foreman cut her off.

"You figured out she's got gallstones?" She asked. She felt three pairs of eyes look at her in surprise then two as Foreman walked off to go start treatment.

She lingered a bit and looked over at Cameron, "Dr. Cameron." She did her best to give her a smile, but she knew it was a very, very sad smile.

"Dr. Hadley." Cameron stayed in the stool she had been sitting in and looked at Chase's crossed feet as she started biting her thumb.

Remy nodded and staggered away, obviously wounded.

She was going to need a fucking drink…