Giotto waited in a distance for his wife and son which were praying at the shrine. Somehow it always felt wrong when praying there as well since he was Christian and neither Shinto nor Buddhist and so he always stayed away while his family was praying at the shrine. In the beginning he had made his prayers from at home. He had prayed for his friends and their well-being and mainly he had prayed for him, desperately begging for his safety. But his wife hadn't liked seeing Giotto praying at home like that and since their son had been born she had asked Giotto to stop doing it. The blonde of course had cooperated as always and so he had stopped praying to God although he sometime still was begging to him in his thoughts, hoping that although he had betrayed so many people God would fulfill his selfless wishes.
Absorbed in these sad and painful thoughts it took him quite a while to notice the feeling his hyperintuition awakened inside him. He noticed the feelings of his family and of the people around him, but there actually was one person which made him hesitate. It actually was not a person he didn't know. In fact he knew the person pretty well and for a second his heartbeat got faster. But there was also something that made him hesitate. There was something unusual about this person, something that wasn't normal, making him believe his first thought had actually been totally wrong. Giotto could feel uneasiness, sadness, hesitation, insecurity and an actually weak self-confidence.
The hope that had been woken inside his heart immediately died again. This could never be the person he first had thought of. Probably it was just a coincidence. After all there was no reason and mainly no chance this could actually be true. Besides these strange feelings surrounding the person didn't fit at all. It had just been imagination.
Suddenly Giotto's wife and son returned from the pray and at the almost same time the presence of this person faded away, leaving behind an even more suffering Giotto. He looked at his family with empty eyes, making the little boy pressing closer to the woman what made him suffer even more. But his wife didn't hesitate for long and pulled her son with her in order to leave the shrine. She didn't even look after Giotto, but kept on walking since her husband always directly came after her like an old will-less dog.
And of course as always Giotto did follow her like that through the streets of the small town in order to go back to their house which was at the edge of the city. On their way some people looked at him and as always they started to whisper while he was passing. Another fact that made him feel like a stranger forever and also another fact that made him feel sorry for his wife. Being able to feel their antipathy and sometimes even disgust for him and his wife should have probably made him angry, but in fact he didn't feel anything. He knew that, for the native people, he was just looking and behaving so strangely that sometimes he actually felt sorry for disturbing the peace in town. Probably it would be best for all of them if he'd just die soon enough.
While having such dark thoughts suddenly his hyperintuition activated itself again and he stopped following his wife confusedly. Again there was this feeling of the presence of a very well-known person and again there were feeling surrounding this person that didn't suit him at all. However this time he also had the clear feeling that this person was actually watching him.
He looked around irritated but he couldn't find a strange person observing him. He didn't even find a person that looked suspicious. But then he could see a movement and noticed a person quickly disappearing in an alley and at the same time the presence of the well-known but strange person fainted away. This made Giotto surprisingly anxious and he was about to move on in order to follow the person when he heard his wife's voice calling for him. But he just slowly shook his head and went away without any further explanations. The more he thought about it the more he was sure that he had to find this person and at the same time angst started to fill his heart. He needed to find this person it was his only wish and desire and while these new feelings started to awaken his heart he also started to trust his hyperintuition again in order to find the person.
He went through the streets of the small city always following the presence of this well-known stranger and while he was following him he started to walk faster and fast until he started to run. He could feel his heartbeat and his breath becoming faster and driven by a mixture of angst and hope he stopped looking where he actually went, finally bumping into a black dressed man that appeared in front of him.
He almost lost his balance and just did not fall over because he desperately grabbed the other one's arm who did not stumble at all.
"Please, excuse my rudeness." Giotto looked around hounded and was about to go ahead when he realized that the presence he had been looking for was much closer than he had thought. He was actually just in front of him. Irritated he tried to look at the face of the man which was hidden under a large hat and dark toned glasses. But what confused Giotto much more was the fact that the man's hair was black.
"I … am sorry." Giotto slowly repeated, closely examining the man who just shook his head and was about to leave again, but Giotto didn't want him to get away that quickly. Right now the feeling that he knew this person was so strong that he feared his heart would explode at any moment. There was so much he knew about him, so much that felt so familiar and he could feel the person's feelings going wild since he had bumped into him.
Quickly Giotto took the hand of the man in order to keep him from leaving him alone and when he touched his skin, his soft hand, he had no doubts any longer. Although both their feelings where fuzzy and messy they were in tune and Giotto could feel the deep affection and a longing from this person that awakened all the feelings that he had believed had actually died long ago.
"Alaude?" He asked with a soft insecure voice and lifted a shaky hand in order to take off the hat and the glasses. The man did not stop him from his doing and when Giotto was finish he looked into two well-known icy blue eyes that were watching him with a heartbreaking sadness.
Giotto's eyes widened in shock when he realized that the man in front of him really was Alaude. Although he looked paler and extremely exhausted and curiously enough had black hair it still was him for real.
The blonde Italian lost hold of the hat and the glasses in his hand and both fell to the ground where the glasses broke immediately. Then he took a step back as if he was not sure if he should be actually scared or glad to see his former Cloud Guardian and lover.
"Hello, Giotto." Alaude said with a soft but emotionless voice, making the other one shiver slightly for a moment. Giotto was not sure how to deal with this situation. A part of his heart awakened and was screaming in joy, but then on the other side he felt caught and insecure. Alaude's appearance would make anything more difficult. This was just not right. But then on the other side he felt as if he was finally waking up from a really bad dream and being called by his former name was the key that broke him free.
These blue eyes, the gentle hands and his soft voice, he had missed all of it so much and now he was here right in front of him. He looked at him spoke to him and his presence comforted Giotto more than anything else on this earth and so the Italian gave into his feelings and just quickly leaned closer, wrapping his arms around the taller one and pressing himself to the always warm body.
Alaude hesitated for a moment when Giotto suddenly pressed himself so close and for a moment he even thought about pushing the man away again, but then the feelings overwhelmed him and he couldn't resist wrapping his arms around him in order to keep him close.
For a while they stayed like this until Alaude gently freed himself in order to look at Giotto once again and there he could see some light tears glancing in Giotto's orange eyes and he started to feel guilty. It never had been his intention to make Giotto sad or to mess with his life. First he had just wanted to look for him in order to ask him a lot of questions, mainly why he had actually left him just like that, and of course in order to see him again. In order to have him by his side again. But he quickly had realized how selfish these thoughts were and then we had realized that Giotto had got a family he was sure that it would be best to just leave Giotto again without revealing himself to the Italian. However of course Giotto's hyperintuition had noticed him and Giotto had found him. And now it wasn't possible to avoid a confrontation anymore. He sighed lowly and looked away since he knew it would be harder for him when looking into Giotto's eyes that always would awaken his emotions.
"Giotto, please. We shouldn't make it any more difficult." He started with a silent voice, still avoiding eye contact.
"What are you trying to say?" Giotto asked frightened. He already knew that his heart probably wouldn't be able to deal with the man leaving him alone.
"I guess I've made a big mistake. I shouldn't be here after all." Alaude went on, still not looking into the catchy eyes of the man he still loved.
"Where should you be then?" Giotto asked after a pause of silence while examining Alaude warily. He was so happy to see Alaude again, mainly to see him still alive, although it probably would be wrong to say that the tall man wasn't hurt. Of course there were no visual wounds, but Giotto knew that the man's heart had been ripped apart when he had left him. And this actually scared him. He had hurt the man pretty badly and from the day on he had made the decision to leave he had been scared to meet the French again someday. He had been sure that Alaude would hate him for everything and Giotto knew that he wouldn't have been able to stand being hated by the one he loved and yet his hyperintuition just felt regret surrounding the once proud man.
"I don't know." Alaude responded slightly discouraged. "But I certainly shouldn't be here. I am sorry. It was not my intention to mess up with your new life. Luc was right. I shouldn't have left Paris in order to look for you." Still avoiding eye contact Alaude slowly turned away. He had been such a fool. Until now he hadn't really realized what it would actually mean for Giotto if he suddenly showed up. And additionally he never had thought of what a life the Italian would probably live right now. He never would have dreamt of him having a family, a wife and also a son. A son. Alaude couldn't believe it and yet it of course was logical. Why should Giotto have kept living his old life. He actually had written it in his letter to Luc, but Alaude had just ignored it. He was such a selfish bastard. He had absolutely no right to destroy Giotto's life. He was just about to leave when Giotto again held him back.
"Alaude, you cannot just leave me like that." He begged with a teary voice. "You cannot just show up and then leave me again. At least look at me once." Alaude froze when he heard Giotto's voice realizing the injured sound in it and he finally looked into his eyes, knowing that he now wouldn't be able to leave the man just like that. And when he looked into the man's eyes he was shocked to see how dead they were looking. There was no warmth and joy left inside them and Giotto's expression was emotionless. They were both broken and lost and close to the edge of death because of all the suffering and pain they've endured during the last years.
"I didn't know you suffered that much." He suddenly said placing both hands on Giotto's cheeks. "I am so sorry I wasn't able to help you back there."
Giotto lightly shook his head, still looking at Alaude.
"Please do not apologize for something that was not your fault. I just left you without at least saying goodbye. I let you down. I betrayed you. I betrayed all of them." It was easy to see that Giotto was trying to hold back his tears. Confronted with his past he just couldn't handle it any longer. He had tried to forget it so badly and he had never succeeded, but right now all the memories came back to his mind as clear as if they had been happening yesterday.
"You're too hard to yourself. Nothing that happened back then was your fault. I understand you couldn't stand staying there any longer." The French tried to comfort his love with gentle words. In fact he really had been able to understand why Giotto had left the Vongola and Italy. He just never had been able to understand why he hadn't talked about it to him.
"Alaude, why? Why do you not hate me? What are you doing here? Is it a punishment?" The Italian wondered not being able to control his own feelings any longer.
Alaude was looking at him attentively. It almost broke his heart once more seeing Giotto like this and Alaude wondered if the man actually was in a much worse condition than himself.
"I just missed you, Giotto. I missed you so much." He finally whispered while still observing the other one who now wasn't able to hold his tears back any longer. Silently they were rolling down his cheeks and although Alaude tried to wipe them away with his thumbs he wasn't fast enough after all.
"Alaude, I never wanted to hurt you. This was not my intention." Giotto said with a shaky voice. He wasn't sure any longer if he was just crying because of pain or of relief. He was here. The only one he actually had ever loved was here and he didn't hate him. He wasn't even angry. He had just missed him.
"Giotto, please, I know this never was your intention, but please calm down." The smaller one just nodded silently and tried to get a hold of himself again. However it took him quite a while until he felt better and had stopped crying.
For a while they both were silent until Alaude slowly withdrew his hands.
"Giotto, I am really sorry. I swear I didn't mean to mess up with your new life. I was just so desperate to know how you're doing." The French finally broke the silence.
"You don't have to apologize. I just never dreamt of you showing up her one day. I thought I'd never see you again." He silently answered. "And I honestly do not know how to deal with this right now."
"I do understand. This must be really hard for you. I'm sorry for putting you in such a situation. It honestly was not my intention." The taller man apologized again, making Giotto sigh lowly. "Do you want me to leave?"
As Alaude thought Giotto quickly shook his head as an answer, but although he had thought so he somehow was glad that his beloved didn't want him to go. And yet Alaude felt guilty. He felt as if he was just about to ruin a family and to ruin more than just one life. He never had expected himself to be so selfish.
"Giotto, I just cannot tear a family apart. I'm really in no position to do this. Though I also know that it is unfair to leave the decision up to you. And yet I just also do not know how to deal with this situation." The French sighed, looking tortured. "Luc was right. He already saw this coming, but I didn't listen to him. I never do although he's such an intelligent man."
"Did he also tell you what we should do when being caught in this situation?" Giotto wondered, giving the other one a sad look. But Alaude just shook his head.
"No, but he gave me a letter for you." He responded and pulled a slightly rampaged letter from his jacket, offering it to the blonde.
Giotto hesitated for a second before taking the letter from Alaude. He was scared. Luc had always been a good friend of him, but he knew that he had also betrayed him and since Luc loved Alaude like a son Giotto was sure that the man was not that well-disposed towards him at the moment. Probably Luc just asked him to leave Alaude alone and maybe he was right. It was up to him to decide now and if he broke the French's heart once more it would probably kill him and he had no right to do something like that. He had no right to be selfish once more.
With shaky hands he finally opened the letter and started to read it, well aware of the fact that its content would be more than just a simple greeting. It would relieve him of the decision he had to make.