Big Baby
"You gonna pay for that?" Cameron asked House as she walked into the cafeteria in her blue dress, holding a file.
"Nice of you to offer. Now I can actually get some cream cheese."
Cameron ignored him, "29-year-old teacher. She works with special needs children. She—"
"Love what you're wearing." He observed her, "Brings out the blue of the case file, which means it's not from the ER. So why are you here?"
"Because Dr. Cuddy is not here. She's decided to spend some more time at home with the baby for a while. I'm taking over some of her day-to-day responsibilities, like babysitting you." She gave him a smirk.
"Interesting. You have your whole life ahead of you. So why would Cuddy want you to die so young?"
"She figured I'd spent three years working for you. I was inoculated."
"Good. Fun. You get to exercise your newfound power. I squirm under your thumb, resent the student becoming the teacher, and then push comes to shove, and we all get to realize what our real roles should be. Then you put out." He took a large bite of his bagel.
She raised a brow and smirked, "That's why I took the job." She said sarcastically as she handed him the file and walked away… it was not flirting… Okay, it was a little bit flirting with her best friend, but she couldn't help it… being in charge made her feel empowered and sexy. She was going to need to stay in the office or else everyone would think her a nympho pretty soon… She smirked to herself as she turned and saw his eyes had been on her ass then text Remy and told her about the whole thing.
~0~0~0~0~0~
"Got a patient with ITP. Need to hit her with radiation." House said after a differential as he walked into Cuddy's office to see Cameron.
Cameron, who was on the phone, knew this was going to be interesting, "I'm gonna have to call you back." She hung up and looked at him, "Methotrexate—"
"Good point. On the other hand, if she bleeds in her brain, she's gonna need a Special Ed class of her own."
Cameron mulled it over, "Fine."
He knit his brows, "Really?"
"Yeah, if you think it's right, do it."
"Hmmm. Some people thought you were gonna be brutal, marking your territory."
"Who?"
"Nobody. Just because I call him nobody doesn't make me a racist."
She shook her head, "I'm not gonna play games. If you come to me with a request and it makes medical sense, I'll say yes."
"I need oral sex." He walked over to her, "I'm pretty sure biological imperative qualifies as medical sense."
She kept her features masked, "Can I return my phone call now?"
He scrunched his face, "I don't really see how that's gonna be possible."
She stared, still blank-faced at him as she picked up the phone. He laughed as he walked out of the office to find Thirteen, Taub, Kutner and Foreman waiting for him.
"Patient won't respond to methotrexate. Bleeding time hasn't improved." Thirteen said.
House looked at her, "You have a medical dilemma for me. I have one for you. I need a reason to not do total body irradiation."
"Other than that Cameron said you can't." Foreman smirked.
House looked dryly at him, "She said I can."
Everyone looked around surprised at each other.
"Then why don't we just do it?" Kutner asked.
"Because it's premature, reckless, and potentially lethal." House said.
"Then why don't we just don't do it?" He asked.
"Because that would let Cameron in on the fact that I never intended to do it."
"This is gonna be convoluted, isn't it?" Taub looked at everyone.
"I figured I'd ask for something really crazy, so she'd shoot me down and get the whole "I can control House" thing out of her perky little system. So the next time I went back and asked for something marginally crazy, it would seem marginally reasonable, and she'd say yes. So, yeah, slightly convoluted."
"You're screwed."
Thirteen interjected, "Unless we irradiate her. Without the radiation. We book the nuclear lab. We fill out the paperwork. We bring the patient down there. We do everything but flip the switch."
"You're willingly tricking your girlfriend?"
"Gotta spice things up every so often." She shrugged.
"Breaking up with her while spiraling after your Huntington's diagnosis wasn't spicy enough?" When she gave him a pointed look, he moved on, "Go. Do. Don't flip."
~0~0~0~0~0~
House limped across the clinic to Cuddy's office. He heard the real boss and fake boss fighting… this was going to be fun…
"Don't get cute. Don't engage him. Do not play his games, because you will lose."
"You hired me to do this job. Let me do it."
This was his chosen moment to open the door, "Oh, I'm sorry. Looks like you guys are in the middle of a conversation. I can wait till Cuddy leaves." He plopped himself in a chair. Then after telling Cuddy that it was okay if she didn't want to keep the baby she was fostering and making Cuddy feel worse than the place under fifty feet of crap, which is under rock bottom, Cameron turned to him.
"What did you want?" She crossed her arms angrily.
~0~0~0~0~0~
House walked back out to the lobby again to find everyone waiting on him, "We got a green light. Go draw the patient's blood."
"Why?" Thirteen asked him
"To see if it clumps in the cold."
Thirteen laughed a bit, "She's making you confirm your theory before you treat?"
"She approved the bath. Just thought we ought to do a test to confirm."
"That's more of a yellow light, isn't it?" Kutner held his laugh in.
"So she lets you nuke the patient, no problem, but makes you jump through hoops to give her a bath? Why would she do that?" Taub asked knowingly.
"I think she was playing you." Foreman wasn't hiding the pleasure he was getting from Cameron being in charge.
House glared at all of them, "Go draw the blood."
~0~0~0~0~0~
After they were told to run another exam, Thirteen and Foreman were getting everything prepped. Thirteen reached for the timer, but she missed it completely and knocked it off the counter, "Oh, damn, sorry."
Foreman knit his brows, "You all right?"
"Don't be paranoid. I feel great. Didn't expect the meds to work this quickly."
He looked at her cautiously, "Let's not get ahead of ourselves. You might not even be on the real drug."
"Several patients have shown improvement. I know my test results have been better. I know I have more energy."
"You ever hear the term placebo effect?" He asked… it had been eating at him… finding out that she was on the placebo. He knew that he shouldn't say or do anything… but he couldn't help but think that he wanted to put her on the drug.
Thirteen only smiled, "I guess I do have a few reasons to feel good… I mean… My life is finally back on track, Allison and I have never been more in sync, and she looks damn fine in 'Dean of Medicine' clothing… She's dressing a bit like Cuddy, wouldn't you say?"
Foreman looked away and thought about it then nodded, "She is, yeah."
"Do you think it's the power? Is that what makes the dresses tighter and the sexiness more obvious?" She grinned as she sat back and thought about it.
"I don't want to think about my friend like that…"
"But you're perfectly fine with thinking about me like that." She gave him a look.
"NO!" he sighed, "I don't want to think about you like that either…"
Thirteen eyed him, "But you do…" She thought for a moment, "Interesting."
"What?"
She shook her head, "Well… everyone tells Allison that she has this 'savior' complex, that she wants to help the wounded and that's why she's in love with me… But she and I were together for nine years before we even found out for sure… and it was only after I found out, and after my neurological functions started fringing that you stepped in and decided you liked me…" She gave him a look.
He knit his brows and looked away then back to her a couple times, "Shut up."
~0~0~0~0~0~
Cameron glared at her friend, "You're asking me to let you cut off the top of someone's head. I need more than, 'I'll know it when I see it.'"
"So you want proof before you let me go looking for the proof? This is the test." House was frustrated.
She was helpless, "You have to give me something."
He shook his head and went for the door, "Cuddy's gonna love you. The patient, on the other hand, is gonna hate you until the day she dies next week. Actually, this idiot will probably forgive you."
She sighed and turned back to her work… well, to Cuddy's work.
~0~0~0~0~0~
Thirteen walked into the office a while later, "Hey, beautiful." She smiled and walked to the couch as Cameron moved files off and out of the way.
"Hi, Honey." They kissed and Remy sat next to Allison and wrapped her arm around her.
"I'm telling you now that he's gonna try and get you to approve it with some fruit flies and a kid with the cold." She said as she leaned into the blonde and inhaled her scent before she kissed her neck in effort to comfort her.
"Oh good… Can't wait." Allison tilted her head to the side to give her lover some more 'comfort' access.
Thirteen smirked and kissed her neck some more then pulled back and stared at the blonde, "I want kids." She said seriously.
"You want kids." Allison couldn't help the smile that came over her face.
Remy nodded, "Not now. But I've changed my mind since the last time we talked about it… I just thought you should know."
Allison looked down, "But I thought, because of your Huntington's—"
"So did I." She said, "Even when we didn't know if I had it or not, I just assumed we shouldn't take the chance, but now…" She shrugged, "Even though I know I have it, it feels like… an option. Like something I can look forward to."
Allison smiled and pulled her in for a kiss, "You want kids…"
"I want kids."
~0~0~0~0~0~
Kutner sat with House and Cameron as they sat in wonderment (House) and anger (Cameron) after the surgery that had to stop because of Cuddy and the crying baby over the speaker, "How long until we can perform the splenectomy?" He asked.
"Can't dose her with anesthesia till the last batch completely clears."
House knit his brows, "How come the baby annoyed her?"
"We should get her in there as soon as we can." Kutner insisted.
"Two hours at least." Cameron didn't look to Kutner as she answered, she stared off ahead of her.
"Her blood pressure's in the tank. I hope she lasts two hours." Kutner stormed out.
"What was different? Our patient loves all things annoying." House looked at Cameron.
Cameron, still staring off ahead of her, cocked a brow, "She'd love this conversation."
"She's an earth mother, takes in the freaks and rejects of humanity and tells them they're a-okay. So what was different?"
"Her head was open, you were asking her questions, a baby was crying." She finally looked at him.
"She had low blood pressure. According to the laws of physics, low blood pressure causes light-headedness, chest pain, but not annoyance."
~0~0~0~0~0~
After talking with Remy about it, Cameron knew that she was doing the right thing… She just hoped Cuddy would see it that way…
"She's incredible." She said as she and Cuddy looked over Rachel as she lay in her crib.
"Thank you." Cuddy smiled at the baby then turned to her, "Great work today. I should've trusted your instincts. I will in the future."
"I quit." Cameron looked at her.
Cuddy gave her a pointed look, "I think I just apologized. If you want, I can get down on my knees."
"It's not because of you. I approved an insane procedure with no proof, no evidence, no—"
"You made the right call. The problem was a brain problem. Without the procedure, House never notices the increased left-brain function. She'd be dead if you hadn't said yes."
"I know. But… I'll always say yes to House. I studied under him. He's in my head. And if you gave anyone else this job, they would always say no, because… well, because they should. House is insane."
"Which leaves me."
"I'm sorry."
~0~0~0~0~0~
Cameron came home and found Remy watching TV in bed, waiting for her. She walked up the bit of stairs to their bedroom and stripped down to her panties, grabbed a camisole and got in bed, snuggling into the brunette.
"So… no sex on Cuddy's desk?"
Cameron laughed a little, "Sorry baby… no sex on Cuddy's desk."