Author's Note: First let me thank everyone who had reviewed, alerted, or put this story on their favorites it means a lot to me. I would also like to send a huge thank you to FLSongbird722, toriashley, and autumn126 for answering my question from yesterday. I think I finally have his actions worked out. I'd also like to let everyone know that I'm kind of telling the back kind of telling some of the back story using the journal and Severus point of view, at least for the part where they were married. The rest of the details of how they ended up married will be in later chapters. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Do I really need to say that I don't own them? I'm just playing with someone else's toys and do return them in the same shape I have found them (well that may not always be the case).

Two Years after the divorce papers were signed

Hermione stood looking out of the window of her bedroom onto the back garden, it was two years ago today that she signed those papers for him. She wondered if he found someone that he could love and would be able to give him what he desired, like she ever knew what that was. He wouldn't have told her even if she had asked, he spent too much time resenting her for saving him from Azakban. She finally came to the realization that he truly thought he deserved to be in that awful place.

It was strange to look back on it now, half the wizarding world wanted to hail him a hero and the other half wanted him to spend the rest of his life paying for giving up half of his to rid the world of Tom Riddle.

She had spent hours trying to find a way out for him whether he wanted it or not, when it came down to the final days of his death eater trial the marriage law came into being. Mr. Kaseload came to her with the idea of betrothing herself to Severus as a way to turn the undecided in Severus favor, she never expected Severus to agree.

She could only guess what Mr. Kaseload told Severus, but if his actions when they were married were anything to go by then Snape hated the thought of it. She had no idea why he agreed to it, but it was the deciding factor that won him his freedom which was what she thought he deserved.

Hind sight really was perfect vision, she saw it now from his point of view. He traded two masters for one, her. She thought maybe that was the reason he treated her the way he did while they were married.

He couldn't have known that she didn't want to control him, all she had wanted was an equal partnership but he refused to listen to her when she tried to explain it to him. Instead he got the upper hand from the beginning, showing her who was in charge and that everything would be to his design and no one else's.

Instead of asking her he assumed that she thought he should be indebted to her, not that that was what she had ever wanted. Maybe that was the reason she never stood up for herself with him, she wanted to make sure he knew that she didn't marry him because of some need to control him. She did it so he could be his own man, no masters. Not one person telling him what to do, in doing such she let him use her as a doormat.

In the five years they were married he tore down most everything that made her who she was until what was left was an emotionally unstable wreck, at least inside. No one seeing her would notice anything was different, but she doubted everything she did now. She was working at getting better about how she thought of herself, but it was a long road to recover that which she lost to him.

The thing that still got to her after two years was that she still loved him, even after all he said to her the way he treated her she still found that she couldn't believe the lie she told him. She wondered if it mattered anymore as long as he believed it.

She pulled herself away from the window as it started to rain, well it matched her mood at least. She wondered downstairs to the kitchen to have a cup of tea, she looked out the window down the street. She found it odd that when her whole world stuck it to her she ran home, the one place she felt safe.

She drank her tea before going and lying on the sofa, she was tired she even knew that it was because she was more depressed today than she had been in a while and it always seemed that caused her to sleep more.

~~^~~ Dream~~^~~

She was crouched down beside the boathouse, she heard the voices inside. She vaguely wondered if Voldemort discovered that Snape had been a spy then dismissed the idea when she caught what was being said. The dark wizard wanted control of the elder wand, but he wasn't going to get it killing Snape. Facts rushed through her mind; Harry telling her that Draco was the one who disarmed Dumbledore, Harry wrestling wands away from Draco in Malfoy manor, the story of the three brothers, the wand being passed by being won. Voldemort was wrong, killing Snape was not going to gain him power over the elder wand. Then she heard it, Snape hitting against the glass then Voldemort telling the snake to kill. She covered her mouth with her hand to keep from screaming.

She followed Harry and Ron into the boathouse to see Snape against the window bleeding profusely, she watched in horror as Harry tried to stop the bleeding that was not going to help she thought as heard Snape's voice then Harry yelling at her for something.

Once they turned to leave she turned back taking another look at the man she was sure wasn't what he seemed. The boys ran out the door as she went back, something wasn't right about this. He was a potions master, and was a smart man. She started riffling through his pockets until she found what she was looking for, anti venom and a blood replenisher.

She spelled the wounds in his neck watching at it closed then the snake bite also, she poured the potions down his throat. As she stared to stand his hand grabbed her wrist, she looked down into his eyes seeing a scared boy not the hard man he had become a moment before he closed them again.

She consoled herself by saying if he died then it was not because she didn't try to save him.

~~^~~ End Dream ~~^~~

Hermione sat straight up, she had not had that dream in a long time, most of the time it was more of a night mare and she woke screaming when the damn snake attacked him. A fleeting thought crossed her mind, did he resent her for trying to save him and the fact that it worked? If he didn't want to be saved then why have the potions on him? She shook her head as she stood, she'd never know the answer to either question.

She rose going to her computer, it was time to find more to occupy her time so thoughts of Severus would stay at bay.

Author's Note: Comments really do make me smile and brighten my day. Also I wanted to let you know that I have a couple of Severus/Hermione videos on youtube, the link is in my profile. Oh and another thing, I finished a chapter today, that's why I'm updating. I like to have a buffer of several chapters done between what I'm posting and what I'm writing, so as long as I can get a chapter wrote a day I will post that day. Of course as with real life this is dependant on nothing major happening to keep me from writing.