Author's Note: Hello again my dear readers. I received so many good ideas on what to do with our favorite character Gale. Thank you so much, you guys rock it. I will be sending a private email to the people who gave me the best ideas. I also received a couple reviews asking me to use "Beta" to edit my story. What the hell is that? If someone could help me it would be amazing. Please let me know what you think of my story. Here is chapter 26, more Everllark. Enjoy
I don't own The Hunger Games.
Chapter 26
Peeta's POV
Katniss fell asleep lying on my chest. I still can't believe that I'm cuddling with the girl I love by my fireplace. I watched her sleep for a couple minutes before I decide to bring her to my bed where she will be more comfortable. As I carry her upstairs I take some time to admire her beauty. Her soft dark brown hair, her tan olive skin, her high cheekbones and her eyelids that hide her precious silver eyes. How did I get so luck? I may have suffered a lot but she is what I got from all this. I always dreamed about having Katniss to call mine and now it's real. We are real.
I walk into my room and lay her down on my bed softly. I pull the blankets on top of her before going to my bathroom to change clothes and get ready for bed. I lie down next to her and bring her closer to me with my left arm around her waist and my right arm as a pillow for her head. Since I'm not able to close my eyes I watch her.
"I promise you that nothing will ever hurt you again. I will always be here to take care of you my little fighter. We are going to be very happy one day, just like we deserve." I whisper in her ear. Katniss stirs and for a moment I think my little speech woke her up.
"Please don't hurt him." I hear her say. I watch her expression carefully. She is having a nightmare.
"Peeta, please don't.." She is criying in her sleep.
"Hey baby, wake up." I whisper. Her face shows pure terror and fear. I need to wake her up.
"Katniss wake up love." I say a little louder. I don't want to scare her but she won't open her eyes.
"Pleaseee, don't hurt him. Please" I hear her saying. This time I pull my arm from under her head and start to shake her slightly.
"Katniss, come back to me baby." I say.
"PEETAAAA, NOOOOO…" Suddenly she is in a sitting position, her head in her hands and crying hysterically.
"Hey, hey, shhhhh. It's okay baby, you are okay." I say as I throw my arms around her small and fragile body. The sobs are making her body tremble and she is struggling to breath. "Katniss please calm down. It's over now, I promise." I whisper in her ear.
"Y-you w-were d-dead….y-you w-were d-dead, t-t-they k-k-killed y-you." She tries to say. I'm brought back to the Quarter Quell arena; I was suddenly awake with Katniss sobbing next to me. She said those same words, except she yelled that my heart had stopped. That was the moment when I started to believe that maybe, just maybe, Katniss Everdeen cared about me.
"I'm not dead, I'm right here with you. Please calm down." I've been woken by Katniss screams many times since we started sleeping together during the victory tour. Her nightmares got much worse after the war; she used to wake up screaming and calling for me but now she cries and sobs. It breaks my heart every time I have to watch her like this.
"Would you please take a deep breath and try to calm down, for me?" I say as I put her on my lap. She is curled herself in a tight ball and I need to make my way through her walls.
"Shhhhh, I'm right here baby. Don't worry, we are safe now." I say as I rock us back and forth. I can feel her starting to calm down so I start planting soft kisses on her hair, forehead, cheeks and wet eyelids. Her body is still shaking but she finally stopped sobbing. I wish I could sing to her like she used to sing to me when I had an episode.
"P-please s-stay with m-me?" she whispers, her voice still shaking.
"Always Katniss, always."
Katniss's POV
I've never felt so scared in my life. The nightmare felt so real. Snow was back with his peacekeepers and they killed Peeta. They took the love of my life away from me. I can't lose another person that I love, especially Peeta. It would break me beyond repair. So as my head rests on his chest and his arms create a shield around me, I finally fall into a deep sleep without nightmares.
When I wake up my head is lying comfortably on my pillow but I'm cold and alone. I know that Peeta is not lying next to me even before I open my eyes. I take a moment to think about my nightmare from last night. It was one of the worst I ever had, even thought I had so many others that I lost count. When I was a little girl I remember that my worst fear was to lose my father. He was my rock, my best friend, the only person I could trust. He left me without saying goodbye. Then I had to grow up enough to take care of my mother and sister just like my father had done. My sister. My little duck became the only person who I really loved; I would go through hell to make sure she was safe. That was basically what I did, but I failed to keep her alive. She left me when I finally thought that we could finally start living. And now there is Peeta. He became my sun, my air, my ground; he is the only person that is left for me to love in such an intense way. It is not "will I lose Peeta?" for me, but "when will I lose Peeta?". I can't bring myself to believe that this life will let me keep him. She has taken everything from me, how hard is it for her to take him too?
"I can't do this." I whisper to myself. I'm falling deeper for him bye each second. When I lose him it's going to hurt more if I don't stop myself, not that I'm planning to survive without him. So I just close my eyes and let all the pain and sorrow take me over. I grieve for my father and the childhood that I didn't have. I grieve for my friendship with Gale, destroyed by the terrible war. I grieve for my sister, my little duck, the person who I would give my life for. And finally I grieve for Peeta, my sweet boy who suffered so much because of my lies, he lost his entire family and his memories because I was selfish enough to save myself. I wonder how long it will take for him to finally figure out the monster I'm and leave me to die alone, just like I deserve.
I'm so deep in my grief that I barely notice Peeta's loud footsteps as he walks upstairs. I close my eyes and cover my head with the blankets, I don't want for Peeta to see me like this but how do I hide it?
"Morning Sleeping Beauty" he says. I don't answer him; maybe he will think I'm still asleep.
"Katniss? Are you awake?" he asks. I hear him putting something down and walking towards the bed. He pulls the blankets from me and I curl tighter around myself.
"Katniss? What's wrong?" He sounds so worried. Gently, Peeta brings his hand up and caress my cheek with his fingertips. "I brought you some breakfast. Are you hungry?" he asks, I just shake my head. I just want for him to leave me alone, I want to cry and grieve until the entire world disappears and I don't have to suffer anymore.
"You have to eat something. Please Katniss, talk to me." His voice is shaking and I wonder if he is holding back tears. I'm so tired of hurting him over and over again.
Slowly I turn my head from my pillow until our eyes meet, boring Seam gray to bright sky blue. His gaze is fixed on me and he looks like someone took a piece of his heart.
"Please don't shut me out. Let me hold you, please." I would like nothing more than to have Peeta's strong arms wrapped around me, protecting me from this dark place that I know my mind is running to. I nod and he climbs on the bed slowly, putting me on his lap, so my head rests on his chest and left arm while his right arms lies across my stomach. Peeta leans down and gives me a peck on the lips before kissing both my wet eyelids. I'm so thankful for having him next to me that I just let everything go and he holds me while I sob hysterically.
I don't know how long we stay in there, he soothing me while I cry my eyes out for everything I lost or am about to. I don't know how Peeta can be so patient and lovely with someone like me; I don't do anything but cry and complain about everything. I'm a murder, a liar, a monster. I'm everything he doesn't deserve, I'm the reason why he suffered and still does. But here he is, being my rock and my strength when I can barely drag myself through the day.
"Shhhh, It's okay baby. Everything is going to be okay. Don't worry about anything, just let go. If you need to cry, please don't hesitate. I'm always going to be here to hold you." He says. Oh my sweet prince, what did I do to deserve you? But I'm such a selfish beast that I allow my mind to travel farther and farther away from him, until everything I feel is pain and sorrow.
Peeta's POV
It breaks my heart to see my Katniss like this. Oh, what I would do just to take all this pain away from her. I hold her in my arms for what feels like hours, whispering comforting words in her ear. It seems like this is the only thing I can do to help. If only I could bring Prim and the friend we lost back.
"Katniss?" I ask after she finally stops sobbing. I hear no answer. Slowly I bring my right hand up and grab her chin, turning her head towards me. Her eyes are open but they show no emotion. They seem completely distant, like she is not even here with me. "Katniss, come on baby talk to me. Please?" I ask as softly as my shaking voice will allow me. This can't be good, she looks so lost and her face is completely blank.
"Katniss please talk to me. Please, don't leave me here alone." I cry. I'm losing her, I can feel it. I bring her head up and kiss her lips, they are cold and white, lifeless. If something happens to Katniss I swear I will never forgive myself. I hug her body tighter to me, she is so cold and pale, and she feels like a corpse. No, I can't think like that. Katniss will get better, I'm going to bring her back to life and we will be happy together. I repeat that though in my head over and over again while tears stream down my face. I'm helpless; I don't know what to do. I can't leave her here but I can't help her by myself. I decide to call Haymitch.
"Katniss I'm going to call Haytmich okay?" I ask, hoping to have some kind of answer from her. Nothing.
I get up and place her gently on the bed, that's when I hear it, a soft groan. She is trying to communicate with me, she knows I'm here.
"Do you want me to carry you downstairs with me?" I single tear escaper her eye, I don't know if I should take that as a yes or a no. "Shhh, please don't cry. Everything is going to be okay." I must look like a deer caught in headlights. I don't know what to do first and what to do after. I just can't lose her.
I pick her up as softly as I can and bring her downstairs with me to the study. I sit on a chair with Katniss on my lap as I dial Haymitch's number. I'm so thankful for whoever fixed his voice after he broke it during one of his episodes.
"What?" I hear his voice over the phone. He sounds sober than I'm used to.
"Haymitch I need you help right now. Please come to my house." I say, my shaking is completely unsteady.
"What is wrong now boy? Did sweetheart ran away again?" he jokes. Oh Haymitch, can't you take anything seriously?
"Something is wrong with Katniss." I say
"I will there in a minute" and he hangs up. Well, he can take something serious after all.
I carry Katniss to the living room couch and sit on it, still holding her close. Less than two minutes later Haymitch comes running through my front door, not even bothering to knock.
"What the hell is happening?" he asks trying to catch his breath.
"I don't know Haytmich. She had a tough night and this morning when I tried talking to her she was like this." I say. We both take a moment to look at Katniss. She is staring at my shirt and her eyes are still the same way they were this morning. It feels like she isn't even here.
"Oh my…This happened a couple times after we came back and you were still in the Capitol. Dr. Aurelius told us that it may be a way her mind finds to escape emotional pain. I don't know a lot about it because Greasy Sae was the one who took care of her when things got that bad." He says. A way her mind finds to escape pain? Oh Katniss, if only you would tell me when you need help.
"Why don't you bring her upstairs and stay with her while I go ask Greasy Sae for some help? I remember she saying something about making her feel safe and loved, you can do that perfectly boy." Haymitch says. Maybe he is right, if she is going through emotional pain showing her how much she means to me may bring her back. It is a shot that I have to try, anything to bring my Katniss back.
"Then please hurry up. I don't know how long more I can stand watching her suffering like this." Haytmich nods and runs out the door towards the town. I carry Katniss back to bed, praying that maybe I can bring her back without any damage.
Here we go. I'm so sorry for not updating, I have to get ready for tryouts and it's taking most of my time, I will try to update faster. Like you guys may know, I don't ready my own story so I don't know if it's good or boring as hell. Please let me know. I will be waiting your reviews. See you next time.