A/N: Much thanks for all the reviews, they really keep me writing!

Finn awoke with a start, trying to banish the dream from his mind. He turned over, and saw that it was (or had been) lunchtime; his full lunch tray sat on the table, left there by one of the orderlies who apparently had decided not to wake him. Not that the sleep did me any good. He got up and went to investigate the food. Cold to begin with, chicken sandwich... coleslaw... jello... Normally he liked jello but it was such a hospital food cliche. It's not like he would have a hard time eating something more substantial. And apple juice. He sat down and ate it though, drinking the juice down too, and it was fine, just boring. And not all that much of it, shouldn't they have heard about his appetite from his mom? He'd met some of her nursing friends before and they'd laughed about it, kinda annoying at the time but it meant they'd known. If there was one thing that couldn't have changed in the almost three years he didn't remember, it was his appetite.

Still, he felt a lot better for having eaten, it had been a long time since breakfast since the tests had started early. At least none of the tests had been the sort where you had to starve yourself for a day first, he'd've collapsed. And this had to be better than still getting 'fed' by the IV like he had been when he'd only just come out of the coma.

Finn went back to the bed, and found it easier to relax. He idly wondered if you could get nightmares from hunger – he'd never heard of anything like that, but if anyone could it'd probably be him. Still, the other self in his dream, destroying his old room like he felt had been done to his life, that had seemed so real and terrifying. He tried to put that out of his head, thinking instead about the food he'd be able to have once he was let out in two days, and fell asleep again to dream of a large juicy hamburger.

He awoke again about an hour later, feeling a lot more refreshed, his mind much more alert as well. Maybe that was what he'd needed most, some food and sleep. But now he needed to occupy himself, especially to take his mind off that morning, of the things lurking in his brain and of how his life had almost completely changed on him. He started up his xBox again, but found himself cringing at the thought of playing more CoD on his own; right now it just made him think too much about his dad and the news of his mom's remarriage. So, Finn turned it off again and looked around to find something else to do. The TV was a possibility, but most afternoon shows were crap, and he couldn't find any sports on that appealed.

Finn stretched his arms and legs out, and rolled his shoulders, feeling restless. He was certainly sick of being stuck in this boring hospital room. Maybe he could go somewhere, even just down the hall or to the cafeteria, it's not as if he was actually sick. Besides, at least half the staff knew his mom, at least they used to, and he knew his way around the visitor areas and even some of the staff rooms. Walking around the halls would be a lot more familiar than being in the room, and even after three years he should still know quite a few of the staff, why not go see some of them?

But as soon as he took a step out from his door, the nurse at the nearby nursing station noticed and came over to chastise him.

"You need to stay in your room, Mr. Hudson," she said, keeping it formal. But that was ridiculous, this was Cathy Lister and she'd known him since he was ten.

"Come on, Cathy," he cajoled. "I'm not really sick and I won't leave the building or wander off or anything like that, I'm not demented. It's just so boring being stuck in there, even with stuff to do." He saw her frown. "How am I supposed to get my head around everything that's changed on me if all I know is what people come in and tell me? I know my way around here better than anywhere, it's not like I'll get lost."

"Finn..." she dropped the formality, which at least was something. "It's doctor's orders and you know we have to follow those." She put her hand on his arm, guiding him back into his room. "You also know how much extra work it is when patients don't stay where they're supposed to be."

Yes, Finn had heard his mom's horror stories about that, and most importantly he remembered her being quite late coming home from work, several times, all because they'd had to hunt for someone who wasn't in his or her room when supposed to be. He sighed. "Okay, I suppose," he said resignedly.

"And everyone knows Carole's boy was the one in a coma for four days – I'd be fielding calls about you every five minutes if you start wandering around. I know it's dull, Finn, but you have to stay put. You have more things to occupy you than anyone gets normally."

"Yeah, I get it. Sorry. But it'd be good to see people, some of the staff I mean, if anyone wants to come by..." he trailed off.

"People are busy, and we don't want them just barging in. But," she continued, seeing Finn's frown, "I'll see if there are some that might be able to drop in discreetly. Just to say hi."

"Thanks Cathy, that'd be great." He nodded at the nurse, who smiled back and left. But then he dropped back down onto his bed and sighed. Stuck in his room, all he could do was think about all he'd been told had changed and worry about how much else there was and whether he'd like any of it. Still... Old life, new life... any life has to be better than being stuck here. Even worried about how different a home was waiting for him now, he still wanted to get out of the hospital and 'back' to wherever it was. He'd still have a room, and his stuff, right? And he'd be able to go look around and see things for himself, talk to some people, even if they knew things about him that he didn't that would be better than this. He could establish a life of some sort, do something about things that had changed if he didn't like them. Right now he felt like he was in some sort of weird stasis at everyone else's mercy.

But since he was stuck here for the next couple of days, he needed to get through it somehow. Maybe there was another game that wouldn't make him miss his dad. He picked up the small set of xBox games and took a closer look. Football, that's more like it, he thought as he spotted the NFL 11 game. He read the back of the box and grinned. Quarterback POV, running plays on the field... my kind of game. He got the hang of it pretty quickly and was soon running plays successfully, though less successful as it got more challenging. Eventually he decided that it was enough for now, it was a good start and his hands were getting a little twitchy.

He moved back to the table and flipped through the stack of magazines, checking out the sports and drumming titles. Hmm, Modern Drummer May 2010, good features. He started leafing through it. It looked well-read, and he checked the cover again – no wonder, there was the mailing label addressed to him. Guess he hadn't become so different if this was what he clearly liked and they'd brought in for him. He settled back in the chair and started to read the main interview.

After a while a knock came at the door, and Finn put the magazine down. Puck had said he'd try to come by, he remembered, though he wasn't sure when. "Come in."

The door opened and he saw someone quite different from his friend, a small brunette with a bright if hesitant smile, taking a few brisk steps into his room. Oh. "Uh, hi, Rachel," he said, trying not to recoil at seeing her. It's not her fault, he told himself. Try to roll with it. Better than being alone anyway.

"I brought you some food, Finn," she explained, holding out a paper fast food bag. Even from the chair he could smell the burger and fries, favorites just like he'd been dreaming of earlier, and his stomach rumbled in response. "Hospital food is dismal at the best of times. I know you're probably getting out in two days, your mother said that's likely, but I wouldn't want you to starve before then."

Hey, she got the good stuff, just like I was thinking about, he thought. Gotta eat it, right? "Ah, thanks." She came towards him, still smiling, and sat down with him at the table and brought out a salad for herself. They ate quietly together for a while, Finn trying not to be bothered by her presence. Food was a good distraction from all he'd been thinking before about her.

When they finished, he looked over at her. "That was great, thanks again. The food here is okay I guess but there's not very much of it." Rachel laughed; it sounded nice, musical, but he tried not to think about her voice and especially not about that song he'd heard them singing together. "So... my mom says you're the one who convinced them to let me have my xBox," Finn said haltingly. "Thanks." He winced a little at himself; it seemed that 'thanks' was the main word he had to say to her. Could be worse I guess, she knows what I like and I still seem to like the same things. He started to relax.

Rachel smiled a little. "I could tell you needed it," she said. Then she grinned. "I'm quite sure they agreed just to get me to stop bothering them about it," she continued impishly. "It's a gift I suppose, even if I did scare them. And clearly they wouldn't have allowed it if they thought it would cause you any sort of problems, so they shouldn't have refused in the first place. Institutional policies can be so stupid."

"Sounds like you went to a lot of trouble."

Rachel raised her eyebrows. "Doing that? That was nothing. Especially not for you, I'd do anything to help you." She met his eyes. "Even not remembering, you should realize that I would," she finished, speaking softly.

He knew his mom would, she had all his life – but having someone else that would do anything for him, that was new. The idea of finding someone like that didn't seem real, even when she was apparently right in front of him. Rachel was looking at him as if she expected some sort of response. "I suppose so," he mustered. "If I think about it like that." I don't understand it though. He swallowed. "We've been together a while, huh?"

"Yes," Rachel answered. She swallowed and pursed her lips. "Not continually, though. Finn..." she exhaled. "I know we're not supposed to be telling you details of things that happened to you, so you can remember properly," she said. "But..." she pouted a little. "There are some things I want you to know from me, because I don't want you to hear about them from anyone else, and if you remember them first I don't want you to think I was hiding anything or that it defines us. But I also don't want to overwhelm you."

Finn exhaled. A little late for that. This was a day for getting told about things, it seemed. Might as well roll with it at this point. "Okay, I suppose," he said. "What is it?"

"We split up for a lot of junior year," she continued. "Things went... bad, and we were hurting each other. In your case it was accidental, but it seemed like you didn't care, and then I was deliberate." She frowned. "Heat of the moment, and I was hurting myself too as well as you. But we never stopped being in love, that's why everything hurt so much, and eventually we got past everything else and were back together stronger than ever. Stronger than I'd ever thought possible even before we broke up. And we haven't looked back since."

Finn looked at the floor, then back at her. "What did I do?" he asked softly. Yeah the whole situation with her was strange, but he didn't like the idea that he'd hurt her. Or anyone.

"You slept with Santana," Rachel said, her face set.

What? "I accidentally slept with Santana?"

"That wasn't the accidental part. We weren't together then, though we really should have been, that was a whole different mess. But then we were together, and you still let me believe that you hadn't, and it was important to me. Eventually it got shoved in my face and -"

"- and you thought I didn't care." He could sort of talk about this. It didn't really sink in, though. And sleeping with Santana? Well, she was really hot, but he'd never been interested in her, or in any of the girls who seemed to give it up for anyone. He'd much rather be special.

Rachel nodded. "I felt very... undesirable. Unwanted. Like I was good for an official girlfriend but not what you really wanted. Which turns out to have been extremely far from the truth, but as I said, I was very hurt. Santana was extremely vicious, she also included the information that nobody even liked me."

Finn looked at her, hearing the small catch in her voice, seeing the tears spring to her eyes as she remembered the pain of that time. And he certainly knew Santana could be mean, it was a big part of her rep, though maybe she wasn't any more. "Which also was extremely far from the truth?" he said hopefully. He knew Rachel had been one of the outcasts at school, though he couldn't understand why, especially now that he'd actually met her; while he was disturbed by their relationship he didn't find her annoying at all like people had always said. Anyway nobody deserved to be treated that badly.

"It became far from the truth, and Santana and I are even friends now. It wasn't so far off then."

"So what did you do?" Finn looked at her.

"Kissed the one person who said otherwise."

"To feel like someone actually wanted you," Finn mused, and Rachel nodded, her eyes closed. "Puck," he stated.

Rachel's eyes flew open, suddenly alert. "How – how do you know? Do you remember?" Her voice was now free from the pain of the recollection, and instead flooded with hope.

"It's what Puck does, go after the vulnerable ones," Finn answered. "Sorry, still don't remember any of it, but I can see why you'd want to tell me." Should he care that Puck had moved in on her like that, or that she had? Probably. But it was what Puck did, and he didn't remember it or how it felt. It didn't seem like a big deal now, though it might have been for a version of him who'd been in love with her.

"Oh." Rachel sounded despondent. "But yes, he's good at that. He does really care about people, though, he just doesn't show it in healthy ways usually. And it was short, he knew we still loved each other and stopped. Because of you. Your friendship means a lot to him, you're really the first person who hasn't disappointed him."

Finn nodded silently. "So..." he said eventually. "We took a break but got back together because we were still in love." He said the words, but flatly; they didn't mean anything to him.

"Yes. Once we got past the point of hurting each other and knew how we felt."

"And some time later I asked you to marry me."

Rachel smiled a little and glanced down at the ring on her hand. "Yes. In January."

"I guess if we got through what you just told me, we could probably get through a lot more."

"I hope so." Rachel pursed her lips. "I just hope we can get through this." She took a deep breath. "There's nobody else for me but you, Finn," she stated, looking straight into his eyes. "There can't be. I know this is a lot to lay on you, when you don't remember us at all, but I didn't move on back then because I couldn't, and that's not going to change, if anything it's become even more impossible. My heart has this indelible mark on it that says 'Property of Finn Hudson'."

Wow, Finn thought, but said nothing. What can I say?

"And my heart is all the better for it, too. Loving you is a joy."

"Bet it isn't right now," Finn muttered. "Sorry."

Rachel winced. "Does having you forget me hurt? Yes. But if I could forget you too, I would refuse. My world is better knowing you exist even if it hurts."

Wow. That's unreal. And am I supposed to feel the same way about her? I don't know if I can feel that way, that much, about anybody. "I don't want to hurt you," he said lamely.

"I know. And I know you don't mean to. Don't worry, I'm not going to do anything stupid this time, it was a hard lesson but I've learned it well. Whatever you need, just know that I'm here, and I can wait as long as you need me to."

Finn looked briefly into her eyes, seeing the sincerity, then lowered his head in an embarrassed reflex. He looked at the table; he had no idea how to cope with the obvious extent of her devotion to him.

Rachel followed his gaze and gathered the food wrappers. "I'll get rid of these – there isn't normally any problem bringing in outside food but it's probably best not to rub it in their faces. Same again tomorrow?"

"Sure," Finn gave her a quick smile. "Thanks."

"Are you okay? Do you need anything else?"

"Everything's fine. I mean, aside from the obvious. Thanks again."

"You're welcome." She gave him another smile and left.