Happy Holidays, with Love from Liza

by CodependentLiza

A submission for those struggling like me to hold on through the holidays, & to love the difficult, wounded people we call "family." These are ROUGH drafts, except for chapter 4 which is as good as my writing gets. If you haven't read my work before and liked it, please check out one of my other stories first or skip straight to 4-especially if you like being in the Grey. ExB cc's

3. Chapter 3

Happy Fourth of July!

Here's another story start—I certainly hope one or two of you are finding these useful in your own Edward/Bella fantasy life, because I'm sure going public with how much time I spend in my fantasy world, and it's a little embarrassing! I'd hate to think it was embarrassment wasted…

I still believe, however, that one of the best ways to let go and move on is to understand more clearly what you're letting go, and why it's so painful not to have it. For me, that's meant coming to terms with how desperately I have longed for a father figure that provides a sense of safety and affection and a consistent reflection of my rightness in the world (I'm very well aware of my wrongness, thank you very much), not to mention forgiving myself for all the desperate actions I have taken in pursuit of such an ideal. Let me tell you, baby, a little fanfic doesn't hold a candle to the blazing bonfire of my self-created humiliations resulting from my stubborn pursuit of a—you guessed it, Daddy. (I'm blushing typing this. This is not an easy thing for a 40-year-old woman with some vestigial sense of dignity to admit!)

As long as I'm embarrassing myself, I will tell you that I am making progress. It's gone roughly like this:

1.Become obsessed with Twilight.

2.Frantically search on the internet for some explanation as to why I am obsessed with Twilight.

3.Discover Fanfiction. (Side note: discover BDSM. Who knew this was an option?!)

4.Become obsessed with Fanfiction.

5.Hate self until insightful friends point out that a)if I'm doing something so persistently, there must be some reason for it and b)I could write it myself. (If you follow my A/N's, Justine's the a and Rebecca's the b.)

6.Become obsessed with writing Fanfiction, and discover any number of things about my psyche, some of which should have been really obvious a long time ago.

7.Sigh and conclude, "Better late than never."

8.Get a dog (named Bella) and pour the affection on her that I am missing. "Good girl, you're such a good girl! Who's so beautiful? I'm so beautiful!" And so manage to use self-affirmations for the first time ever because I'm not talking to me, I'm talking to my dog—or I'm talking as my dog (even better). It's ridiculous how much this helps (almost as ridiculous as I sound doing it).

9.Start catching myself asking, out loud, "Daddy? Is there a Daddy?" (I really wish I were making this up. Luckily, it's mostly been said alone while doing laundry or dishes. It's a good thing I don't drink.)

10.I grow the balls—metaphorically only—to answer myself, "No, no there isn't." I am too kind to myself to tack on, "So get over it," but it is sometimes implied.

11.All this long, excruciating time, I am also talking to my conception of the Loving Power of the Universe, concluding more than once that no such entity exists. (Don't get me started on that stupid "Footprints" prayer; I'm telling you, I have sand burns on the bottom of my expletive feet.) FINALLY, I start to get over myself (sort of) and realize that when love is promised to us in exchange for being loving, it doesn't mean the love is going to feel good, or necessarily be the love we want. Those green pastures? They look like mine fields, and feel like it too. It's only when you relinquish priority of your physical, mental and (Ack!) emotional realities that you are free to focus on a loving spiritual life…with those other pieces coming back in like wrecking balls and branding irons on a regular basis, because we're stuck being human until we die.

12.I start reminding myself, every embarrassing time that "Daddy" question comes up—either as verbal outburst or feeling—that, "There's no Daddy, but there's Love, and Beauty, and Strength, and Goodness, and Courage, and Faith, and maybe, every once in a precious while, there's Hope too."

I hope Hope finds you today!

Much love,

Liza

XxXxXx

Edward leaves work early to interview the woman he hopes will be his new nanny, though he doesn't use that word—just "someone to play with Lucy [his young daughter]" while he's away. He plans on interviewing her when he gets home, but when he arrives Carmen, his housekeeper, tells him that they're happily playing in Lucy's room, so he decides not to interrupt right away.

Instead, Edward deals with a few business matters, and pours himself a drink while he talks with Carmen in the kitchen about her impressions of the candidate. Carmen is glowing she's so happy with the young woman, who goes by Bella (though Edward prefers her full name and refers to her by such), and gives him the strong advice to snap her up right away before somebody else gets a hold of her. Edward takes this advice seriously; Carmen's been part of his household his entire life, is even a surrogate mother of sorts, and she definitely adores his Lucy.

He's curious though about the paperwork he's gotten from his security staff; the background check on one Miss Isabella Swan and copies of all her biographical materials, from high school and college transcripts to admissions essays and yearbook photos (his team is thorough). He finds himself not understanding her, and that worries him…he's not used to a deficiency of understanding in anything, let alone in people and their motivations.

Finally, he decides he needs to see her in action with his daughter, and so he leaves Carmen finishing dinner preparations and hunts them down in Lucy's room. Entering with a quiet knock, the girls, intent on playing in the center of the spacious room, don't notice Edward right away.

He stops, just in from the entryway, leans against the wall and watches Bella and Lucy interact. He likes what he sees. They're playing dolls with Lucy's dollhouse, and Bella is gamely doing voices and moving the Barbies and other small dolls assigned to her by Lucy with enthusiasm, following Lucy's lead in the storyline but creating her own dialogue and character ideas. Bending in a sitting position to reach her dressed up doll into a party underway in the doll house ballroom, Bella's flowered underwear is peeking out; cotton briefs not meant to be remotely sexy. Edward didn't get that memo.

Finding himself lingering too long on his daughter's new nanny's very modest underwear, he clears his throat, and Bella jumps—even while sitting—as Lucy looks up and breaks into a huge grin at the sight of her favorite person on earth: her Daddy. Edward is an excellent Daddy; he dotes on his little girl without spoiling her; he pours love on her without suffocating her; he makes her the center of his life without forgetting that his job is to help her become independent from him, bit by bit, a little more every day.

Well, most days anyway; there's been some backtracking in the difficult months since her mother Tanya left them both.

Edward blames himself for the overall situation. Which means he knows it was his lack of all due precaution and his unwarranted trust of his sexual partner, both resulting from letting his temporary desires hold sway, that led him to create a child with a woman whom common sense could have told him would not make the mother he wanted for his children. Told simply, Lucy was more or less an accident (more on Edward's part, less accident on Tanya's), and so much more welcome in utero to Tanya—intent on snaring the supremely handsome, rich and powerful Edward Masen—than Edward himself.

But once Lucy was born, Edward was truly enamored with his daughter, and absolutely determined to do what was best for her above all else. For her sake, he tried valiantly to make the best of things with Tanya; tried longer than finally anyone else in his life—even Esme—thought he should.

In the end, he precipitated Tanya's leaving because he sadly deemed it best, for all of them. If he has had any second-guesses, it's only been in relation to Tanya's subsequent semi-abandonment of Lucy, and how he might have prevented that through savvier spousal support wording in the divorce settlement. He keeps hoping Tanya will find some stability and open her heart to Lucy, which it never really has been, but for the moment Lucy is very much an afterthought in Tanya's socialite life.

This is why when Lucy seemed more cheerful, and a little prying led to her identification of a new teacher's aide in her private school preschool classroom as the reason for it, Edward quickly moved to hire the young woman to help him care for Lucy at home. And why he was undeterred when his initial inquiries to the school's administration led to the news that the new aide wasn't officially a school employee at all, but merely a volunteer, a niece of the lower-school principal who was taking time off from college for what said principal, once Edward had her in phone conversation about her niece, delicately termed "personal issues."

On hearing that term, Edward bluntly inquired, "Would those 'personal issues' result in my daughter being unsafe while in Miss Swan's care?"

To which, of course, the principal had no choice but to answer, "I certainly wouldn't allow her to volunteer at Claremont School if she wasn't safe around children, Mr. Masen." Luckily for all involved, that also happened to be true.

Recognizing that Mr. Masen wasn't the sort of man to be put off by general assurances, the principal—Bella's Aunt Christine, married to Charlie's elder and much more worldly and successful brother Ed (short for Edwin, not Edward)—added a few more delicate details, trying to respect her niece's privacy while not irritating one of the school's richest and most well-connected parents. "She was just a little…overwhelmed by the college environment, and is taking some time off to restore her…direction and good health before returning."

"Was she sick?" Edward knows what the administrator is doing, and doesn't care about privacy or delicacy of feeling. He wants facts.

Christine is struggling to balance many competing needs in this moment, not the least of which is to make sure she doesn't leave her administrative judgment unduly open to question. "Not at all; just run down, and emotionally…overwhelmed."

"That's the second time you've used the word 'overwhelmed' in describing Isabella. Is she cognitively impaired?" Edward is getting the definite idea that Isabella's problem was one of mind not body, but he's not satisfied yet. Nor will he be until he's had a full investigative background report, but he at least wanted to hear in plain English what the girl's own aunt and volunteer supervisor thinks of her.

Bella's aunt gets the picture, and resignedly shares some more specifics. "Mr. Masen, my niece Bella is brilliant, and very good with children. She's working out beautifully here, and I've heard nothing but compliments for her work with the students from both parents and staff. She just…" there's a pause as Christine tries to figure out how to summarize Bella's difficulties, the nature of which have puzzled her from the beginning. She is not remotely like Bella, nor Bella like her, a fact the two women have learned to accept and move on from without having delineated why. She gives it her best: "Bella just has a lot of sadness that makes it hard for her to manage her own life with the degree of success you would otherwise expect from someone as intelligent and innately appealing as she is."

"Has she gotten counseling?" Edward intends to take full advantage of the administrator's reluctant honesty, and if he's going to take on the burden of a hysterical young woman, he wants some sense of the degree of hysteria and how it has been previously managed. Or not.

Principal Swan laughs briefly before catching herself. Clearing her throat, she says, "Yes, Mr. Masen, the poor girl has gotten counseling. It does not appear to have done her much good, and after a disastrous attempt on our end to find some help for her, we've let her off the hook as long as she—"
There's a pause, and Edward knows he has her. "As long as she what, Ms. Swan?" he asks, only he's not just asking, and they both know it.

Sighing, Principal Swan gives it up. "As long as she doesn't try to hurt herself again, Mr. Masen," she says, defeated. "And I am certain she would never do so in such a way that would endanger any children in her care," she adds defensively.

"I see, Ms. Swan. Thank you for your candor." Knowing he has just about exhausted the principal's willingness to air her niece's dirty laundry, Edward asks one more pointed question. "I take it she has done so before, then? Hurt herself, that is?"

"Yes, Mr. Masen, she's taken a few too many pills on a couple of occasions and perhaps attempted, quite ineffectively, to slit her wrists once, but that's been the worst of it. She's not bleeding and scarred from head to toe, and she never touches recreational drugs or alcohol, so I didn't think that her previous, very half-hearted attempts at self-harm should be held against her here, assuming of course that no such behavior is repeated. If you are uncomfortable—"

But Edward interrupted her, not wanting to cause problems for the girl he still was considering for his own employment. It also made him sad that any child could be so poorly cared for as to hurt herself on purpose, and to do so more than once; he shuddered at the idea of his own Lucy hating her life so. Though few of his business associates would have believed it, there was a remarkably tender heart underneath Edward Masen's tough and seemingly emotionless exterior.

"I'm not at all uncomfortable, Principal Swan," Edward moved now to reassure. "I trust your judgment, and I agree that Miss Swan's previous difficulties should not be held against her, presuming she can move past them and not present a bad role model for the students. I'm even, as perhaps you may have guessed, considering your niece for employment in my household, and nothing you have said so far changes that fact."

"Oh!" Christine Swan had not, in fact, guessed Edward Masen's motivation for inquiring about Isabella. She had been so engrossed in trying to protect herself, her job, and her niece, in that order, that she hadn't even wondered yet, except briefly at the beginning of the conversation, exactly why Mr. Masen was calling.

And she wasn't sure what she thought of his motivations now. Buying time, she stated the obvious. "Well, that's certainly a compliment for Bella."

Smiling at the effect his power has on people, something he's not ashamed to admit he enjoys, Edward says with humor, "And I'm certainly glad to hear you think so. I was worried perhaps you would be opposed to my stealing such a valuable resource out of your school."

Now that he mentions it, Principal Swan realizes she indeed does not like the idea of losing Bella to the household of one of the students. Initially she offered the work to her niece out of charity and a desire to stem the ugliness of Bella's college situation that she was forced to witness, her husband and herself being the nearest relatives to Bella's school, but truly Bella had been a boon to the classrooms she worked in, much appreciated by teachers and students alike. So it seemed unfair to the larger community to give Bella up to the Masen household without a little fight.

"Surely Bella wouldn't have to stop working at Claremont School, Mr. Masen?" she asked innocently, doing a little information digging of her own now.

Edward didn't worry about social niceties in responding. He enjoyed that freedom afforded him by his power and money too. "Absolutely she would need to stop working there, Ms. Swan. I prefer my employees to be fully focused on their employment with me. Besides, it sounds as if your niece would not be well-served by too much on her plate."

Realizing that was an inarguable conclusion from the information she had just shared, Christine could say nothing other than, "That's true, Mr. Masen." But she cared enough about her niece to try to find out more, hoping that she wouldn't have to choose between protecting Bella and keeping Edward Masen happy. "May I ask what position she is being considered for?"

"Certainly, Ms. Swan. We are currently without a nanny in my household, and Lucy's fondness of Isabella would seem to make her a prime candidate for that role. Presuming, of course, Miss Swan has an interest."

Feeling her protective instincts towards Isabella fire full-strength, Principal Swan expressed a very real hesitation on her niece's behalf. "I'm not sure Bella is designed for the intensity and rigor of a household with a status such as yours, Mr. Masen."

"I can understand your concern, Ms. Swan, but I assure you, if Isabella is the right fit I will personally ensure she has no difficulty with any aspects of my household, status or otherwise." Edward Masen was not going to be put off by anyone in his pursuit of the best for his child, and though he was glad Principal Swan was loyal to her family, he wasn't bound by that loyalty but by his own and would not ever hesitate making that clear.

"Perhaps we could save any concerns about the specifics of the position for discussion after I've had a chance to interview Isabella?" Edward continued, not really intending it as a question but trying to maintain a certain politeness and respect towards his daughter's principal and his potential future employee's aunt.

"Certainly, Mr. Masen, that would seem sensible," Christine Swan somewhat regretfully conceded. "Of course, if Isabella wishes to reduce her volunteer hours with the school in order to pursue employment with you, I will support her in doing so."

Edward noticed she was phrasing it as a "reduction" rather than a "termination" of volunteering, and admired the principal's assertiveness, echoing his own. But he wasn't going to leave it alone. "If I hire Miss Swan, she will be ending all her volunteer work with you, I'm afraid. But regardless, I must compliment you on your recruitment of your niece. Lucy has been much happier at school since Miss Swan started work there."

Giving up, Principal Swan let Mr. Masen's premise stand and simply thanked him, and the conversation ended soon after, Edward having also obtained Principal Swan's blessing for Isabella to accompany Lucy home the next afternoon for an interview at his residence.

Christine did insist on one caveat, that Bella herself desire the interview, but Edward wasn't worried. "If I could just have Isabella's cell phone number, I will put the offer to her myself," he asked.

To his surprise, Principal Swan replied, "Isabella doesn't currently have a cell phone number I can share with you. She's been working on reducing costs, and uses our home phone instead."

"Isn't that rather unusual, a young woman her age without her own phone?"

"Yes, I suppose it is, but as you will find, Isabella is a rather unusual young woman. She does have a pay-as-you-go cellular phone for emergencies, but she doesn't have it on normally nor does she check for messages. I rather like that about her; I can't tell you how difficult it is to enforce our policy on smartphone use among much of the rest of our staff."

Edward could empathize with this, and decided to use that fact as a little relationship-builder with Principal Swan. He might yet need her influence, and it never hurts to strengthen relationships when it costs nothing to do so. "I know just what you mean, Ms. Swan. The other day I caught one of my senior analysts checking his Facebook page in the middle of a meeting. I was not amused." Indeed, the analyst in question was senior no more.

Shuddering on behalf of the nameless analyst, Principal Swan concurred, "No, it is certainly not amusing."

XxXxXx

Lucy's previous nanny had left with Tanya, to Edward's relief. Indeed, Edward had been disappointed when Tanya had insisted on hiring a full-time nanny to do almost all the daytime tending to baby Lucy, believing children best cared for by their own parents whenever possible and acting on this by caring for Lucy himself whenever he was home. But he had gone along with the officious, French-native nanny as one of the many things he did to try and placate Tanya into accepting life as his wife and Lucy's mother.

Edward still paid that nanny's salary, along with many other of Tanya's rather large household expenses. He didn't care at all that, given the infrequency of Lucy's visits to Tanya's new home, it was basically money for nothing, for it was also one piece of Tanya's old life still present in her new one, and made one less reason for Tanya to avoid the occasional afterschool or overnight visit from Lucy.

But Edward was glad to have the haughty French woman out of his home. Though she was kind to Lucy, in a distant, condescending sort of way, she had always treated Edward's housekeeper Carmen as a servant beneath her notice or respect, and that made Edward furious. She had also, more than once, attempted flirtation with Edward, which made him furious and disgusted.

Luckily, the flirtations were met by such glacial coldness from Edward that they soon ended, and so in the end they had got along well enough. But Edward had never seen the nanny, or even Tanya for that matter, really love Lucy the way he wanted her to be loved; the way he loved her, and Esme, and Alice, and Carlisle, and Carmen did, with whole hearts and enthusiasm and joy.

Which is exactly what he saw pouring from the young woman on the floor in front of him, playing unabashedly with his daughter in a way neither his wife nor the nanny had ever played with her before. No wonder Lucy likes her so much, he thought to himself, along with his somewhat darker and off-color thoughts about the innocence of Bella's underwear pattern, just before clearing his throat to announce his presence.

Lucy ran to him with her arms flung wide, wrapping him in an enthusiastic hug as he lifted her in his arms.

Bella jumped up too, blushing beet red to have been caught out playing dolls, with different voices and everything, in such an unreserved manner, and immediately feeling overwhelmed by the masculinity of Edward's business-suit clad presence. He had loosened his tie and his top collar button, but that just heightened the extremity of his good looks, and the sheer power of his person.

Trembling, she stood off to the side of the embracing father and daughter, her eyes averted to the floor, her hands wringing around each other, one foot wiggling back and forth, hoping despite all this nervous motion to avoid the notice of this very frightening man.

Her hopes are dashed when Edward sets Lucy down, now holding her hand, and looks up to Bella saying, "Aren't you going to introduce me, Luce?"

Lucy excitedly nods her head as she starts pulling Edward towards Bella, talking as she goes, "Yes, Daddy, this is Bella! Remember, I told you about how I met her at school? And you said Carmen could arrange for us to have a play date? And Bella said 'Okay,' and she came home with me and Carmen today, and we had lunch in the sunroom, and I showed her all around, and all my books and toys, and she read me stories for rest time, and we went to the park with Carmen, and now Bella's playing Barbies with me! She's the best Barbie player ever! She's even better than Auntie Allie, although she doesn't know as much about dresses, but that's because Auntie Allie is a designer, Bella, so don't feel bad. You do better voices."

And with that Lucy finished, standing directly in front of Bella and grabbing her hand, Lucy's other hand still swinging in Edward's grasp.

Edward took advantage of Lucy's pause, saying, "It's very nice to meet you, Miss Bella. Lucy's told me so much about you." His voice is warm, sweet maple syrup as he says this, and his eyes are liquid gold, but Bella can't tell you anything about his eyes because she's still looking at the floor to the side of him when she's not looking (and smiling shyly) at Lucy's enthusiastic upturned face.

Clearing her throat a little, Bella manages a halting, "It's very nice to meet you too, Mr. Masen. I'm—I'm—I'm very happy to make your acquaintance," and flinching at how ridiculous it sounds to her to have said "happy to meet you" in two different ways, the last one hopelessly old-fashioned (she's not sure where it came from, having never said it out loud before in her life), she wishes sincerely to shrivel up and die on the spot and be spared any more excruciating moments in the attention of the man before her, whom she is sure must certainly despise her immediately.

She is wrong. On the contrary, her intense discomfort is having the pronounced effect of making her even more attractive to Edward Masen, who is now unable to control the enormous grin spreading across his face at this sweet young woman's discomfiture.

His impeccable manners make him shift gears however, and he says to Lucy, "Shall we invite Miss Swan to dinner, Luce?" as he returns his gaze to his excited daughter, who is eagerly nodding and saying loudly, "Yes, please, Daddy!"

Bella has no idea the extreme honor of this situation. Edward puts family first, ahead of even business, and keeps to family dinners in all but the most unusual situations. He's been sharing his evening meal with Lucy since she was 2, and it's a tradition he is normally loathe to disrupt, much to Tanya's previous irritation, whose preferred dinner plans ran more towards grand meals for impressive acquaintances than cozy family meals served by the housekeeper.

Now, however, Edward is more than happy to include Bella in his dinner plans with Lucy, something he has never done for anyone other than his family or closest friends before (and which Carmen will take cheerful note of shortly).

Seeing an opportunity to get some time with the young woman—who has started trembling all over her body, he notices—alone, though he's not one-hundred percent certain why he wants time alone with her, he says to Lucy, "Why don't you run and go ask Ms. Carmen to set a place for Miss Swan at the table, Lucy, and we'll be right in. Will that be all right with you, Miss Swan?" and Bella nods her head, not entirely cognizant of what she's agreeing to, but simply noting that the powerful man in front of her seems to want her to agree to something.

There's not much she wouldn't have nodded "yes" to, and Edward, being the excellent reader of people he is, realizes that already.

With an ecstatic, "Alright, Daddy, hurry up with Bella!" Lucy runs back to Carmen in the kitchen, who long ago ceased being "Ms." Carmen to her favorite little girl except when Edward is being formal and intentionally respectful of Carmen's important status in the household.

Edward watches her go, then turns back to Bella and says warmly, "May I escort you to dinner, Miss Swan?" formally holding out his arm, crooked at the elbow, towards her as he does so.

Bella is so nonplussed, she just stares at him, wide-eyed and slightly open-mouthed, an expression that Edward happily files away in his almost faultless memory bank to be pulled out and enjoyed countless times in the coming decades, as he has reason to savor how far Bella has come in trusting him, and how happy and well she ends up being compared with how miserable and overwhelmed (Truly, her aunt picked the right word, Edward will reflect later) she was when she arrived. It is a look of incredulity, but flavored with a faint hope, so that it is clear that the horror also in her eyes is not directed so much at Edward's arm, as at her fear of her own inadequacy in taking it.

Reading this as clearly as text on a page, Edward can't help the short laugh that escapes him at Isabella's frozen reaction to his chivalry, but wishes he could have because next she starts crying. Large tears roll down her face before she turns her head and starts sniffing, trying to pretend there is merely something in her eyes or she's having some sudden-onset reaction to imaginary pollen in the urban, inside air.

Chastened by the sweet girl's tears, Edward drops his untouched arm and quickly picks up her hand closest to him instead, lifting it in one of his own large hands, twining his fingers with hers and squeezing gently.

Meanwhile, he leans in towards her bent head and says quietly, "You're safe here, Isabella. I promise I won't let anyone hurt you, all right?" and he looks once more at her tear-stained face, hoping to see some relief in her features.

He isn't disappointed. With the back of her free hand, Isabella cleans off her cheeks and sniffs once more before lifting her face to him and smiling earnestly, and gratefully. "Thank you, Mr. Masen," she manages, her voice husky with crying.

The aforementioned Mr. Masen smiles broadly at her bravery, resisting the urge to kiss the turned-up cheek, and instead says merely, "Good," but with such emphasis and certainty it signifies much more than that.

Then he lowers their linked hands, keeping his elbow bent but his lower arm straight so that he can easily direct Isabella's course of motion, and leads her out of Lucy's bedroom and down the hall to the salon, and then the formal dining room.

Most days, breakfast is eaten by all household members in the large and sunny kitchen, around an old oak table that has been in Masen kitchens for a hundred years. But at dinner, Edward keeps the formality of eating in the dining room, the gleaming mahogany banquet table shortened to a more reasonable length, and the places set at the end closest to the kitchen from which Carmen serves the meal. He believes this ritual good for both Lucy's manners and spirit, and Carmen agrees with him, which makes the meal far more pleasant for all involved than it had been with Tanya's reluctant participation.

And now, as he firmly led Bella by the hand into the dining room with Lucy and Carmen fussing around the just-added third place setting, Edward had the strange feeling of things simply falling into place in his home life the way they so often did in his business dealings. It was a wonderful feeling, and Edward savored it, even as he held onto some self- and Lucy-protective skepticism about its accuracy.

Bella, meanwhile, was on the verge of either vomiting or trying to run away, though she felt the strength of Edward's hold and knew she was unlikely to shake him off without his acquiescence. This knowledge was both immensely comforting and scary, and added to the nausea came a shortness of breath and a sense of being pressed in on by the gorgeous room around her.

Luckily she was quickly distracted by Lucy running up to her, grabbing her other hand and leading her to the setting she had just finished laying with Carmen, Edward bringing up the rear, still holding on to Bella, and pulling Bella's chair out for her to sit. He used his control over her body to lower her into the seat, then gently released her hand, placing it into her lap, before pushing the chair in under the table and going round to the other side to get Lucy situated as well.

Bella had a couple moments to catch her breath as father and daughter talked while Lucy was settled at the table, and then the meal began. It flew by so quickly none of the participants could quite believe when the fruit course had been served and Edward was drinking his after-dinner coffee, Isabella having declined the same to Edward's approval.

She had declined the wine offered her with dinner as well, another decision of which Edward strongly approved. Upon Isabella's shy and hesitant, very polite refusal of wine, Edward had immediately asked Carmen, to Bella's simultaneous embarrassment and relief, to bring Bella a glass of milk to drink, just like Lucy.

Of course, Lucy was pleased with this as well, and had to comment on it, to Bella's mortification. "Aren't you old enough to drink wine yet, Bella? I can't wait til I am; it's so pretty. Much fancier than plain old milk! But I don't like the way it tastes very much; it's sour. Grandma and Auntie Allie let me try theirs once, I don't want to again—it's too gross. Don't you think so, Bella? I'd rather have ginger ale, but Daddy only lets me have soda for special 'casions. Daddy, don't you think having Bella here is a special 'casion?"

Edward smiled indulgently at his daughter. "Yes, Lucy, I do think having Miss Bella here is a special occasion, but no, I don't think it requires you to drink ginger ale. Why don't we save that for movie night this weekend?"

"Oh, yay, movie night! Will Bella be here to watch too?" Lucy asked, making Bella blush bright red again. Bella tried to think of a polite way to decline movie night without being presumptuous, but before she could form any words, Edward easily responded.

"I hope so, sweetheart, but we have to give Bella the opportunity to get to know us first; to decide if she can put up with us or not," and he winked at the little girl, and then at Bella.

Lucy giggled. "Oh, Daddy, you're so silly. Of course she can put up with us. Can't you, Bella?" and she looked earnestly across the table to the young woman in question.

Bella smiled affectionately at her, appreciating and basking in Lucy's warmth towards her as a flower turns towards the sun—especially a flower kept almost too long in the dark. "Of course I can, Lucy; you're wonderful," she agreed.

"And my Daddy, he's wonderful too, isn't he?"

All of the blushes prior to now had nothing on the shade of brick red Bella went instantly after that question. Swallowing hard, looking down at her hands worrying the linen napkin in her lap, Bella nodded before managing to whisper, "Yes, he's wonderful too, Lucy."

Lucy and Edward had both been staring at her, waiting for her verdict, Lucy with bated breath and Edward with an enormous wolf-like grin on his face. After hearing Bella's words, Lucy, content with just the literal meaning of them, clapped her hands excitedly and exclaimed "Yay! Bella's going to be my sister!" before starting back in on contentedly eating her strawberry-mango sorbet and apple slices.

Edward, on the other hand, was very aware of not just the words in Isabella's response, but the effort, shyness and acute embarrassment with which they were uttered, as well as his own, unexpectedly strong, pleasure in hearing them.

He gave his daughter a sharp, inquisitive glance at her pronouncement of her intended relationship to Bella, and took a brief moment to ponder how Lucy had come to the conclusion of sisterhood. He decided it was a surprisingly accurate assessment of Isabella's potential, though he knew already he had leanings towards Isabella that were decidedly non-fatherly, and gave a silent nod of approval to his daughter's skills of perception and analysis.

Upon Lucy's contented silence and resumption of eating, Edward followed up with his own response. "I'm very glad to hear that, Miss Bella. We are, as you can see, very happy to have you here, with us," he added pointedly at the end.

Bella had now moved from red to an unaccustomed pallor, as if she were on the verge of fainting, which was not normal for her but did feel likely all the same. Somehow, she managed to whisper "Thank you, Mr. Masen," after the words he spoke, though she only registered about every other one of them, leaving her with a most imperfect idea of his thoughts.

Which was probably for the best, as Edward Masen's real thoughts in that moment would undoubtedly have made her spontaneously combust with embarrassment, longing, and shock.

Leaving Bella be for the time being, Edward turned his attention then to Lucy, talking over the schedule for the next day and the plans for the coming weekend. Finally, as Lucy finished the last of her fruit and a little yawn escaped her, Edward discreetly signaled for Carmen as he said to Lucy, "Bedtime for you, sweetheart."

Carmen entered amidst Lucy's half-hearted protests, and Edward turned to her to say, "Would you be so kind as to give Lucy her bath and get her ready for bed while I meet with Miss Swan, Carmen?"

Bella stands as Carmen enters, starting to gather her own dishes to carry out to the kitchen, but Edward stops her with a hand held out towards her. "Leave those, Miss Bella," he says, "Ms. Carmen has help to deal with those."

Turning to his housekeeper he verifies, "Are the girls with you tonight?"

"Yes, Mr. Masen, we're all set," she assures him, pausing as she leads Lucy out by the hand, towards the kitchen. Lucy pauses a moment, pulling against Carmen, and turns to look back at Bella.

"You aren't leaving, are you Bella?" she asks, her voice trembling just a little.

Bella, who expects to be doing exactly that, starts off uncertainly, "Ummm, well, Lucy..."

But she is quickly interrupted by Edward, who turns to his daughter and says, not quite sternly but clearly as the end to the matter, "Miss Bella and I will be in to say good-night to you when you're in bed, sweetheart. Now go with Carmen so we have time for a story."

Reassured, Lucy easily says, "Alright, Daddy. Bye, Bella! See you soon for story!" and turns, happily swinging arms with her beloved Carmen and discussing bubble quantities and bath toys.

"Shall we, Miss Swan?" Edward asks after kissing his daughter's offered cheek and watching her progress from the room, formal once more. He rises from his seat and comes to stand by hers, offering his arm again to see if she's yet able to take it.

But Bella, who had sat back down after Mr. Masen had instructed her to stop clearing dishes, is feeling most unwilling to get out of her chair until she understands a little better what is going on, and what is expected of her. She is also growing worried at the lateness of the hour combined with her plans to get back to her aunt and uncle's house via the subway and buses. So, taking a deep breath, she looks up at Mr. Masen and, as politely and coherently as possible, protests. "Um, Mr. Masen?"

Of course, it comes out more a question. But given it is her response to a direct invitation from him, it is quite effective. Edward drops his arm, leans back against the table, and folds his arms across his chest, amused and somehow pleased by this resistance. "Yes, Miss Swan?" he asks in return, eyebrows arching.

Bella loses her courage and looks down at her lap and the very-wrinkled-by-now linen napkin she's still wrapping around her nervous fingers. "I'm so sorry, Sir, I mean, I really appreciate this wonderful meal, and I'm so glad to spend time with Lucy, and I would really enjoy doing so again, I mean, if you want me to, of course, but I, but I, but I—" she breaks off and raises her head, somehow finding the courage to finish her sentence in the kind, though amused and frighteningly-intelligent eyes staring back at her—"really need to go now, if that's okay." Biting her lip, and afraid she's way over-stepped, she adds, "I mean, if you don't need me any more to help with Lucy—"

Edward takes pity on her, and breaks into her apologizing, impressed at her courage but not wanting to tax it any further. Tipping his head to the side, as if considering her request, he then asks gently, "May I ask why you need to leave now, Miss Swan? It is only 7 o'clock; getting late for a four-year-old I will admit, but are you such an early riser?"

"Oh! No; no, Mr. Masen, I'm not; I mean, I try to get up early but most of the time I end up sleeping in. I mean, I don't need to go because I'm tired; I'm not tired; well, only a little bit, I just mean—well, I need to go home."

"By home, you mean your aunt and uncle's home in Brooklyn?"

"Yes; yes, Sir, that's what I mean. I—I know how to get there, but I've never done it before, and it's…well, it's getting dark. Not that I'm afraid of the dark, I just, I just—"

Edward smiled at the sweet child in front of him. Never mind her physical age, she was in some ways younger than his daughter at 4. And he was suddenly determined to see that she never aged a day past the innocent vulnerability of where she was right that moment.

His mind made up now, after having been evaluating the situation all evening, Edward felt the intense satisfaction of seeing a desirable course of action straight ahead, one made possible by his power, his acumen, and his will.

Relishing the moment, he interrupted the girl's halting explanation of her travel plans home with a hand placed heavily, though very carefully, on her upper arm, just below her shoulder.

"Isabella," he said, his voice deep and warm and confident.

Surprised at the interruption and even more at the invasion of her personal space, Bella's eyes flicked up to see Mr. Masen leaning in towards her, his eyes boring into hers as soon as they caught her glance. Open-mouthed, she could only nod.

Edward smiled, and inside Bella broke wide open. There was so much knowledge of her in his expression; so much kind tolerance of all the fears and insecurities she tried to keep hidden but somehow knew this man could read right through her. She wasn't sure if she was happy or distressed to feel so understood by Mr. Masen; she did know she was both eager and terrified to find out what he did with the information.

What he did eventually surpassed her wildest dreams. But he started slow, for both their sakes: for his drawn-out pleasure, and her composure. "Sweetheart, you don't have to worry about getting back to your aunt and uncle's tonight," Edward reassured her, slipping in a term of endearment that felt so natural to them both, Bella hardly noticed it. "And I would never send you anywhere on public transportation, so that's a moot point."

Bella appreciated Mr. Masen's kind attempt to reassure her, but was afraid he had no sense of the meager amount of money in her purse, and even less so in her bank account. Neither amount was sufficient for more than an emergency cab ride—an occurrence she was hoping to avoid tonight. She wasn't quite able to voice these concerns however, both because it didn't seem polite, and also because Mr. Masen was staring her down and making her feel quite incapable of speech.

That's all for now—hope it was a warm fuzzy for you. I know what happens next, and after that too, (this is actually one of my older stories), so let me know if you want to read more and I'll try to make that happen. Right after I get First Class Edward out of Peoria, and Sen. Cullen past the Independence Day Ball (now would be a good time for that).

For the record, I think the only acceptable justification for Edward's manipulation of Bella in my own writing, or anyone else's, is his sincere desire and acted-on intention to put her needs above his own. It's that quality that elevates Stephenie Meyer's original Edward from peeping Tom and home-intruder vampire to true love, and is what made Edward's actions in New Moon ethically necessary given his belief in the cognitive superiority of vampires.

Of course, what Edward comes to understand is that the most relevant existential dimension for judging his relationship with Bella is not cognitive, but emotional/spiritual. And on that plane, Bella's miles ahead of him, at least in the beginning. So the inequality Edward is afraid of poisoning Bella with turns out to be an inequality in the opposite direction—but his fear and subsequent refusal to knowingly hurt her is absolutely necessary for theirs to be a love story.

Thus, the fact that Edward's needs, including his physical/sexual ones, are also met beautifully by the pairing, and by giving Bella what she needs first, is the TOTALLY UNREALISTIC AND SUPREMELY UNLIKELY coincidence that makes the original story—and all my fan-fic, including, ultimately, this one—emotion porn instead of realistic fiction…or autobiography, more's the pity.

Happy Fourth of July! May freedom truly ring, for everyone. xoxo liza