Author's Note: Hello Mockingjays. So this is a very special chapter because it is our first lemon and also it's WAY longer because it is MY BIRHTDAY CHAPTER. June 29 :D. Really hope you enjoy and let me know how I did on my first smut and leave me a happy birthday wish if you can :) It would mean a lot to me. Here is chapter 30. Enjoy

I don't own The Hunger Games

Chapter 30

Katniss's POV

When I finally walk through the main gate in the Victor's Village it's already late afternoon. I spent some time walking around the town and checking how the rebuilding is going. People seem happier, children play outside smiling and laughing like they don't have anything to worry about. Maybe all the pain this nation went through was not in vain.

I reach Peeta's house and slowly open the door. I don't know why I feel so nervous out of a sudden, It's just me and Peeta and I know that he would never push me farther than I am ready to go. I check the living room and the kitchen downstairs but he is nowhere to be found.

"Peeta?" I call, but there is no answer. I check his room on the second floor but he is not there either. "Peeta, are you here?" I try again a bit louder.

"Katniss? I'm right here." I hear him answering from the end of the hall. I walk towards what, in my house, was my mother's room. I slowly open the door and walk inside, Peeta is sitting on a wooden chair painting. There are what look like old paintings covered with a white sheets all over the room.

"I'm back. What are you painting?" I ask as I make my way towards him and place both my hands on his back. Peeta grabs mu hand and brings it to his lips before turning around and pulling me on his lap.

"I was just trying to paint the sunset we saw on the roof of the Tribute Center before we went back in the arena. You remember that, don't you?" He asks, I just nod. "Is everything okay? You left this morning without any explanation and now you are acting weird" Of course he noticed. Peeta can read me like an open book.

"I'm fine. Do you want me to cook dinner?' I ask even though we both know what would happen if I try to cook something, I would probably burn the house down. Peeta laughs.

"No it's fine, thank you. I will just clean things up and I will be down in a minute." I kiss his cheek before making my way to his bedroom. I decide to take a shower so I can think without worrying that Peeta is going to notice that something is up. I go through Peeta's closet and find a black shirt and sweat pants that would fit me. I step in the bathroom and turn on the water as hot as it will go. I take my time to undress myself and look in the mirror. I still have scars all over my body left by the war and the Quarter Quell, but they don't look as bad as I can remember. I check my body in a way that I never did before and I have to say that I'm not very satisfied with what I see. I'm still underweight so most of my bones are showing, especially my ribs. My breasts are way too small for a man to find it attractive and I don't have womanly curves. Before I go mad I decide to just drop it and take my shower, but it is just another issue to fill my thoughts today. How am I supposed to give my body to Peeta if I don't mind myself attractive. What if he leaves when he finally realizes that I'm not the girl he was looking for?

I finish my shower and dry myself trying my best to think about rainbows and butterflies, but today it is impossible. I'm so glad that Peeta didn't ask me about today, he understands when I need my space and it only makes me love him even more. He is the prince any girl would ever dream about, but I'm not a princess. I put on Peeta's shirt and his sweat pants, I don't even bother with an underwear, if everything goes according to the plain I won't need any of these pieces of clothing anyway.

I brush my hair and decide to leave it down because I know that is how Peeta likes it and make my way downstairs. The house smells like dinner and I realize how hungry I'm since I "forgot" to eat something for lunch. I watch Peeta from the door, I admire his body and how I can see his sexy muscles even when he is wearing his t-shirt. How can someone so handsome be with someone so full of flaws like me? I don't think I will ever understand. I walk slowly towards him and hug Peeta from behind. He tenses up a little but relaxes once he realizes it's just me.

"I was waiting for you. Greasy Sae dropped some meat while you were out so I thought it would go good with a salad and some bread I baked this morning." he says, again I just nod. I make my way to the table and sit down.

We are both eating in silent. I keep thinking about how I'm going to communicate with Peeta about what I want without actually saying it and he is just staring at me with a worried look on his face.

"I'm kind of tired, do you think we could go to bed earlier today, like after dinner?" I ask. Peeta's eyebrows furrow.

"Of course, are you feeling okay?"

"Yes, I'm just a little tired." I lie, I'm wide awake.

After we are done eating I help Peeta to clean up the kitchen. He grabs my hand and we make our way upstairs. I can feel my heart beating faster and faster each second, this is actually happening and I just hope we are both ready. I don't even bother changing as I climb on the bed, Peeta takes of his shirt and lies down next to me. We lie facing each other and I know that this is the time, I'm ready. Slowly I bring my hand to caress his cheek and lean in to capture his lips. Like most of our kisses, this one starts slowly and sensual before growing into something more demanding and passionate. We usually don't go past this point but tonight is different, tonight we are going all the way. I lick his lips with the tip of my tongue asking for permission to invade his mouth, Peeta opens up and we start a battle switching between his mouth and mine. Peeta is already shirtless so I start caressing and exploring his bare chest. He lets out a low moan and it sounds like music to my ears.

"Katniss.."Peeta whispers between hot and desperate kisses. I know what he wants, he wants me to explain what I'm trying to do but I can't. I'm not good with words like he is, I'm only good with actions. So I grab his left hand and place it right on my right breast, instantly I feel the electricity running through my body. Peeta pulls away from the kiss but leaves his hand where I put it.

"What are you doing?" he asks still panting.

"I...I...I..." I try. "I...want..to..to...make love to you." I don't know what else to say.

"Are you sure? I mean, I really want this Katniss but I don't want to hurt you or push you too far. I need to make sure you are physically and mentally okay with this." He is always thinking about me and this only makes me more determined to give this to him.

"I'm okay, I mean at least physically, I checked with my mother." An expression of understanding crosses his face, now he knows what I was doing the entire morning and most of the afternoon today. "I don't think I will ever know if I'm mentally ready, but I trust you Peeta. I want to take this step and I want it with you.' There are no more words necessary, next think I know Peetaa's lips are on mine and he is slowly squeezing and massaging my breast. His other arm sneaks under my torso and bring me even closer to him. I'm so relived that he decided to take control, because I honestly don't know what I'm doing.

Peeta pulls away from the kiss only to attack my neck. He kisses, sucks and bites it in such a delicious way that it's making me go insane. His hand leaves my breast only to start pulling his shirt up. He does it slowly so I have time to protest if I want to, I hesitate because I think about my scars and my not attractive body, but people don't get intimate with clothes on so I just take a deep breath and let him pull the shirt over my head. "You are so beautiful." Peeta whispers, which makes me blush furiously. He places his hand back on my breast and it's a completely new sensation, almost too much to handle. I let out a loud moan that I don't even know where it came from. Peeta moves, so instead of lying next to me he is now lying on top of me holding his weight on his elbows that are positioned around my head. I'm feel like my body is frozen, I can't move it I can only feel, so Peeta bend my knees and spread my legs so his lower body is in between them. I can feel the hard thing and it's right on my groin, he just feels so huge and warm. Peeta starts kissing my stomach and making his way up, I don't know if I should concentrate on the sensation his lips are causing or between my legs. But when Peeta reaches my breast and starts sucking on mu nipple I forget about everything else. I start panting and moaning without any control, my body is responding in such a way that I lose the power to control it. Peeta switches between breast and starts massaging and squeezing the breast that is not on his mouth.

So I lie in there, completely powerless under Peeta's touch. Suddenly I feel like there is too much clothing between us so I start pushing his pants down with my feet, or at least I try. Peeta notices my struggle and finishes the work for me before moving to my pants. Now, I'm completely exposed to him, and Peeta seems to be loving it. He takes a moment to just look over my body and kiss a few spots, especially where there is a scar, he is just perfect. Peeta leans back on top of me and when his hardness, which is only covered by his boxers now, makes contact with my intimate place everything around me changes. Suddenly I'm not in Peeta's room about to make love to him, I'm back in my room and Gale is holding me down about to hurt me. He starts kissing my neck and I make sounds that are between a moan and a groan. Peeta must have taken this as a good sign because he keeps sucking my delicate skin but I'm not enjoying it anymore, I'm slowly losing focus on the reality and I start to feel desperate.

"P-P-Pee...ta" I cry out. Again, he is probably taking this as a good sign because Peeta lets out a loud moan and starts rotating his hips so his erection is rubbing against my place. Tears start to stream down my face. "Peetaa..P-P-Please S-Stop..." My voice sounds desperate now and sobs are stuck in my throat. Peeta stops immediately and looks into my eyes.

"Katniss? KATNISS, WHAT IS WRONG?" He shouts once he sees my face. He brings his hand up to caress my cheek, but my mind registers as he is about to cover my mouth like Gale did. Before I can think better my body reacts and I start trashing and kicking until I get Peeta off me and run to the closest corner in the room. I don't know what is happening to me, my body is reacing before I can think better. Loud sobs are shaking my body and I can't see anything around me or in front of me. I see a shadow of what looks like a silhouette of a man and start screaming.

"S-SOMEONE H-H-HELP M-ME, P-P-PLEASE H-H-HELP.." I scream over and over again. But the man keeps waking towards me. I can hear a voice, a familiar voice, talking to me but it is so distant. For some reason I know that I have to focus on the voice so I make my best to listen to it over my screams.

"I won't hurt you, please Katniss. Baby, listen to me, please. I love you Katniss, I would never hurt you." It's Peeta. He is here to help me, as long as I'm in his arms nothing bad will happen to me. I start calling his name until I feel strong arms wrapped around my naked torso. My dandelion is here, I'm safe.

"It's okay. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." Why is he apologizing? and that's when I finally come back to reality. I'm sitting on a corner in the bedroom because I panicked when Peeta and I were in the middle of our first night together. Now I'm leaning on Peeta's chest and he is apologizing over and over about something that is not his fault at all.

"Peeta? Please don't apologize, I should be sorry. I don't know what happened, I'm sorry." I whisper once I finally get my breathing under control. Peeta doesn't answer me or make a move."Peeta?" I can hear him saying something under his breath. I pull away from his embrance and look at his face, tears are streaming down his cheeks and he is repeating the same sentence over and over again.

"I'm sorry I pushed you too far, I'm such a monster." he whispers. I wipe his tears with my thumbs and grab his hand pulling him towards the bed. He lies down and I lie down next to him before kissing his soft lips again, but he pulls away and holds me back.

"What are you doing?" he asks.

"I'm resuming from where we stop." I say as simple as I can manage. I know that I must sound really stupid after the scene I just made, but I want to make love to Peeta and I want it to happen tonight.

"Katniss, I can't let this go any further. I love you and that's why I can't see you like that again. We can wait a little more, I want this to be special for both of us." Wait a little more? No.

"Peeta, I'm ready, I swear. I just need you to be patient with me. Please, I want this so badly, I want you tonight." I try to sound as convincing as I can. Peeta sighs but doesn't make any move, so I take the lead and lean in for a kiss. He is holding back too much, I can feel it. I try to find a way to show him that I really want him to do what he was doing and that I won't lose control again. He mas making me feel so good earlier, he made me forget everything, or almost everything. I want to do the same for him, so without thinking too much about it I place my hand right on his hardness. Peeta lets out a loud moan and bites my lower lip just enough to hurt a little. I start massaging it the same way he did you my breast, but carefully since I heard that men are sensible in there. Peeta hand moves to my intimate place between my legs and I almost lose it right there. His finger start going up and down my slit while I keep massaging his member. We are both panting and moaning in each other mouth and this all feel so unreal. Using both my hands I pull his boxers down, freeing his aching hardness. Peeta helps to pull his boxers all the way down and then throw it somewhere across the room. Now I can feel how huge he is, even though I can't see it. I'm completely clueless on what should do, and Peeta notices it. He places his hand on mine and places it on his member, he start to stroke it in a up and down motion. When I feel more confident about what I'm doing he lets go of my hand and goes back to pleasuring me between my legs. We stay in there, touching each other for a couple minutes before my world turns upside down when Peeta pushes a finger inside of me. I have to remind myself that there is not Gale, not pain, no raping. This is Peeta and he is making me go higher and higher until I reach the sky. I'm so close, at school I've heard some girls talk about a phenomenon called orgasm, apparently it happens when you reach such a pleasure level during sex or when your partner is touching you that your body explodes. I'm pretty sure that is what is happening with me right now. So when Peeta pushes another finger inside of me and rubs a little pearl he found, which according to my healthy classes is called clit, it makes me go crazy, I scream at the top of my legs and I don't care if I wake up the entire district. My hand on Peeta's erection stops and I just let myself feel my climax, which lasts pretty long since Peeta haven't stopped touching me. When I finally come down from my height I have to take deep breaths to calm myself. I gently push Peeta's hand away because that area is a little to sensitive.

"Woah, that was beautiful." He says smiling down at me. I return his smile and for a moment I wonder if that ever happens to Peeta. I heard from the conversation that boys get that pleasure by being inside of girls, so I want to give Peeta that pleasure.

"Peeta, I want you to be inside of me." I whisper. Peeta looks shocked for a moment, I would too since I'm not the kind of person who usually says that.

"Are you sure you are ready for that?" He asks, even thought you can clearly see how much he wants it in his eyes my Peeta always thinks of me first. Another reason why I love him.

"Yes, just make sure you go slow okay?" He nods, gives me a peck on the lips and positions himself on top me of me again. When I think he is just going to push in and get it over with, Peeta takes his time to kiss my torso and neck all over again before sucking on my breasts again. They are much more sensitive and I can't contain the moans. When he is finally done torturing me, Peeta captures my lips with his.

"Are you ready?" He asks between kisses. I bite his lower lip in response. I feel him position himself at my entrance before breaking the kiss and looking into my eyes. I grab his hand that was resting next to my head and intertwine our fingers. Before he goes in I make a final request.

"Can you talk to me and kiss me while you do it? Just so I know it's you..." I know it sounds stupid but I don't want to have a panic attack again. I just want to enjoy being connected to my lover in such an intimate way.

"Of course baby. Katniss, just please talk to me if you feel any pain or you feel like you need to stop. I love you so much." He says. I reach up and kiss his lips. He starts to slowly push in and the feeling is breathtaking. I gasp for air but do not let go of his lips. He pushes a lip bit more and I start felling a slight discomfort of being stretched, but nothing like the burning sensation that I felt that night. I squeeze his hand that is intertwined with mine and Peeta breaks out kiss.

"I think I'm about half way in. Do you need to stop? Are you in pain?" I close my eyes and shake my head but that won't be enough for him. "Katniss?"

"No, please don't stop. Oh my...Peeta this feels so good. I'm okay baby, please keep going." I whisper. He kisses me again and pushes the rest of the way in. When Peeta is all the way in I have to ask for him not to move for a little bit, because the pain is a bit stronger now and also because I want to memorize how the love of my life feels inside of me.

"Okay, keep going. Just slow please.." And just like that Peeta starts thrusting. In...Out...In...Out. I can't see, I can't hear, I can only feel and it's amazing. Peeta lies his head in the little space between my shoulder and my neck and starts to moan, the most beautiful sounds I've ever heard in my life.

"Ahhh, Katniss...This is so good. You are so tight baby. I love you so much...ahhh." He moans. I try my best to find my voice to give him a proper answer.

"Oh baby, it feels so good. Keep going Peeta. This is so good..." I try to be as vocal as possible as I moan freely even though I seem to be losing my voice. We keep going for a good half an hour. Peeta alternates speeds and depth and at some points he sucks or squeezes my breasts, kisses me or squeezes my hand that are still intertwined in his. But its only when his free hand moves down to where we are joined to rub my clit that I start seeing stars and fireworks wherever I look.

"Ohhhh Katniss I'm so close...Baby I'm coming." Peeta keeps saying. I'm guessing he is as close to his climax as I'm so I do the same with him.

"Me too Peeta. I'm coming..." And just like that I'm a goner. I reach my orgasm as I feel the waves taking me over and something hot being ejected inside of me. I'm left completely breathless and Peeta is panting so hard that I have to check if he is okay. Slowly he pulls out and lies next to me before wrapping my fragile and sweaty body in his warm and strong arms. I think we should leave all the conversation for tomorrow. So I just let myself fall under a deep sleep listening to Peeta's heart beating and feeling happier and more satisfied than never.

Here it is. OUR FIRST LEMON. This is my first time ever writing a "hot" scene so I would like to know how I did :). Also sorry for grammar mistakes since I couldn't bring myself to read the chapter to edit it LOL. There are more to come and soon we are going to start to focus on Gale's punishment FINALLY. Please leave me a birthday review because my last two chapter were a disaster. See you all next time and Happy Birthday to me :D.