Disclaimer: Still do not own any characters. Another chapter, I encourage you to review please. I am begging you people.
Chapter 9
His heart was pounding; he could not believe his eyes, what made her come back? He was sure he was going to hunt her down in order to get an explanation.
She was wearing a new black sweater and black jeans. She looked tired and lost, once he pulled her into the apartment there was complete silence. He did not speak; he was waiting for her to make the first move. He was aware that Lisbeth had to be the one doing the talking in order to understand what was happening.
She just stared at him; she did not know what to say. Mikael looked tired and weary, she just wanted to see him again.
The moment she left Sweden Lisbeth wanted to go back. She wanted Mikael to hug her, she laughed to herself. If the old Lisbeth could see her now, she snorted. She had devised a system in which she had separated herself from how she was three years ago. The Lisbeth Salander before Mikael would have never established a relationship with anyone. Mikael Blomkvist changed her life; she had experienced an adult relationship. She had a partner in life but she let him go.
In her mind it was the best. Mikael deserved better, he deserved someone who was accepted by society. He had to be with a woman who was clean, not her. She had been abused and was unable to form healthy relationships; she had a dark past and was always in some sort of problem.
The more she thought about it the more sense it made, at least in her mind. When she arrived to Gibraltar she checked-in at the usual hotel. She unpacked her things and stayed at her suite. Things seemed so different, she wondered how much she would have loved the visit if Mikael were to be there with her.
She spent the next week moping around her suite. Mornings were the worst, when the sickness wracked her body she remembered her pregnancy and indirectly her Kalle. At the end of the week she was tired of crying and of missing Mikael, she went to the hotel pool.
Lisbeth distracted herself by observing tourists. This technique worked for two days. The last day of her stay in Gibraltar she saw a blond and blue-eyed girl in the pool. The girl looked to be around 3 years old; she was alone playing by the steps of the pool. Lisbeth was looking for an adult, the child had to be with an adult, parents were supposed to be with their children. Suddenly the girl squealed, a tall figure was approaching the pool. It was a blond and blue-eyed man; the girl extended her arms to the man. The stranger tossed the girl into the air and she laughed excitedly.
"Higher Daddy, higher." The man laughed too. Lisbeth was filled with sadness, her own father had been a bastard, and she never experienced what the little girl was experiencing.
She thought about Mikael; the man vaguely resembled him, she could see him with a child. He had a daughter already, yes he screwed up but she could really imagine him with children.
The thought of him with another family filled her with jealousy and despair. She was being horribly selfish. She could not let him go, she wanted to say that she was going back because Mikael deserved to know he was going to be a father. The reality was that she needed him and was going crazy without him. She would see him again and see if he wanted her back.
Lisbeth kept quiet for another ten minutes, and then slowly removed her black sweater, by now she was three moths pregnant and had a baby bump. She looked rounder, maybe because she had always been short and slender.
Mikael's eyes went directly to her belly; he did not seem surprised. His eyes told her that somehow her baby bump was a confirmation of sorts for him.
"I'm pregnant." She looked at him directly in the eyes and saw he was hurt.
"Is that why you left, you did not want a child with me, so you just took off." He was distressed, he promised himself he would let her explain herself but now seeing her with his child was just heart crushing. Why would she leave him? Lisbeth could see the pain in his eyes; the last thing she wanted was to cause him pain. She started speaking again; she tried to tell him everything.
"We never discussed children, if I am sincere I never saw myself with a child." He tried to talk but she stopped him.
"Mikael you know I am not good with people. You are the only person I have ever been truly confortable around. I would be a terrible mother, and I did not want to lose you."
He was puzzled, "you thought I would leave you because you were carrying my child." It was not a question; it was a statement.
"I was afraid, I still fear that at any given moment you will leave me."
He was enraged "I have tried Lisbeth, I have not given you any reason to doubt me or my feelings."
She knew this, but she was damaged and she always felt like the little stability she had would be shattered without fail.
"Why would you want to be with me Mikael? I'm socially awkward, psychologically damaged and since I met you I only have complicated your life." She was in tears; Mikael had never seen her cry until today. She no longer cared, she wanted him to reassure her and hug her.
He hated Alexander Zalachenko with all his being; he hoped he was rotting in the lowest pit of hell. He hated the section, those who had hurt her. He wanted to resurrect fucking Zalachencko and kill him with his bare hands.
"I love you. I'm in love with you, I don't care about your past, that you are young or that you are considered a social misfit. I knew you had a rough life, I care about you and no matter what you do I will always care."
"I am an adult and I made the decision of having you in my life. I trust you with my life Sally." He paused and saw that she was silently crying. She was breaking down; she looked so fragile and young. He wanted to kiss her and hug her but he stopped himself and gave her an ultimatum.
"I will not have you running away whenever you get scared or we go through a crisis." "I can assure you this will not be the last, I won't lie to you Sally I am hurt, but I want us to be together."
She was sobbing and his resolve broke, he embraced her, she hugged him and just kept repeating, "I'm sorry." He shushed her and said sweet nothings into her ears.
They went to bed undressed and went to sleep. They would talk more tomorrow, but for now he was relieved that she was here again. He hugged her; she was asleep already. Mikael touched her belly, he had not thought about the baby. Everything came crashing, he was going to be a father again and this time he would do it right. He hugged his Sally to him.