Hey guys. I'm uploading an epilogue, and some of you might find this familiar. Looking back at the stories that I've written, seeing this as a oneshot was quite cringe worthy. So, I've decided to post it here. No worries, the other one is removed. Do enjoy this chapter!
Looking out of the window and seeing the welcoming glow of the warm sun, Lukas, the BLU Medic decided that it would be a good idea to take his family out for a little get together (for instance, a picnic). Since it was the weekend, Nikolaus, Lukas's son, also known as the RED Medic, was free.
Heather, Lukas's wife and Zelda, their daughter packed all the necessities (sandwiches, everything you'd see in a typical picnic) and they set off. Lukas brought his fishing rod along, hopefully to catch some fish.
They journeyed for approximately 20 minutes and arrived at one of Teufort's beautiful parks. The flowers bloomed accordingly to Spring's cool weather. They headed to the riverbank and settled down. Nikolaus went for a search of the lure for the fishing rod, with Zelda tagging along.
After what seemed like hours (which is probably just two minutes or so, because they are too impatient), Nikolaus caught sight of an earthworm. Being scoleciphobic, he let out the most unmanly squeal (poor him) and jumped into Zelda's arms. "What is it, Niko?" Zelda asked, her tone laced with amusement at his brother's antics.
"T-t-t-there's w-w-w-worms over there!" Nikolaus mustered, resisting the urge to cry. Zelda heaved a sigh, and said, "Umm, that is what we are going to catch, didn't you know that?" "WHAT!? No way in hell, I'm going to leave now!" with that, Nikolaus jumped down from his unnaturally strong sister, straightened himself and scampered away as though an antelope chased by a cheetah. Zelda, sighing again, pulled the worms and kept them in a jar vaguely resembling Sniper's Jarate jars.
As she returned, she was immediately torpedoed by questions such as "Where did you go? What happened to Niko? What took you so long?" from Lukas and Heather. "I went to collect the earthworms myself, I don't know, he threw a fit, he ran away, and I have to do the hard labour myself." Zelda answered in one breath, emphasizing 'hard labour'. At the corner of her eye, she caught a glimpse of Nikolaus behind a tree, eyeing her with a bashful and apologetic look. She glared daggers at him in return.
When he decided to come out of his hiding spot, Zelda took out the jar containing the worms, just to get back on him. Of course, he squealed like a pig sent off for slaughter and hid behind Heather this time, as Zelda was so close to the vile creatures. Lukas intercepted it with a word of thanks, and selected an earthworm to hook it onto the fishing rod. Then, he tossed it into the river. "Do you want to try that, Niko?" Lukas asked, as he'd brought two fishing rods after all.
"Don't worry, it won't hurt you," Heather assured. "Rest assured." Zelda added to herself. Perspiration ran over Nikolaus. "A-a-are you s-s-sure?" he stammered. He reluctantly accepted the rod from his father. "That's my boy." Heather said. Nikolaus just stared at the earthworm dangling on the end of the fishing line, probably stone cold.
And then he threw it into the river.
Threw what into the river? The entire rod. Into the river.
Zelda went up and tried to calm him down. She hugged him and whispered, "What was that for?" "YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!" snapped Nikolaus. Zelda, taken aback by the sudden outburst, jumped back. "I… I didn't mean to do that… I'm sorry," he said.
Minutes later, the fishing rod Lukas cast began to jerk. "I think we caught something!" He said. Since Nikolaus had calmed down, and he wanted to show that he's just as capable as anyone, took the rod and tried to recoil the fishing line, with much difficulty. "This-is-certainly-a-big-fish!" Nikolaus yelled. As the fish (a particularly big one) was surfacing (well just how deep is this river though?), it flailed wildly, splashing water everywhere. Lukas sprang towards the fish, striving to catch the fish. But-
A loud splash was heard (obviously).
"What the bloody hell was that?! You nearly scared the animals off! What can I kill now? I'm going to track you down and snipe you!" Sniper exclaimed, from a certain sniping spot.
Anyways, back to the story-
Lukas was drenched head-to toe in the cold river. Freezing, even. The other three first stared in confusion(why?), and sprang to work. They pulled him out of the water, and Zelda braced herself in case her father let all hell break loose –or just saying, verbal abuse. Luckily, she noticed that there is something in Lukas's hands.
"You might catch pneumonia at this rate!" Nikolaus said, alarmed. He pulled his Crusader's Crossbow out. Zelda was quick enough to realize what was happening to snatch it out of his brother's hands. "Well, what's wrong this time, sister?" Nikolaus complained.
'Didn't you remember how the Crusader's Crossbow works? It only heals allies, and hurts enemies." Zelda explained.
"But isn't it ceasefire?" Nikolaus replied. "Yeah, but that doesn't change the fact that we're in different teams," Zelda implied. "For instance, yes, we do have übercharge and respawn, but still, it doesn't work the same. Maybe Spies can make an exception?" Nikolaus pushed his glasses up. "Well, you do have a point," he commented.
"Besides, I don't think Father'll die like that, would he?" Zelda continued, earning her a dirty look from Lukas. Heather'd foreseen this, and she had brought some extra clothes. "Here you go," she handed the clothes to a shivering Lukas, and poured hot chocolate out of a thermos bottle.
Suddenly, they heard a growl. Teeth still chattering, Lukas pulled his Blutsauger out (why is everyone bringing their weapons?). "Do wolves prowl around here though?" he thought aloud. "Nah, I'm just… famished." Zelda admitted, with embarrassment. "Well, we cannot eat the fish yet, as it is for dinner," he addressed the still flopping fish.
Heather coughed stiffly, as though she demands attention. "Do you have a better idea, Mother?" Nikolaus asked, impaling the fish with a branch (that's cruel). "The basket," Heather replied softly, as if she were talking to herself. At the mention of the basket, Zelda eyed the picnic basket with malicious intent. "Wait, give me a sec-" Nikolaus was too late.
Zelda had begun to wolf the contents of the picnic basket down. With the possibility of eating the basket as well. "Watch your manners, young lady!" warned Heather. "For whatever reason?" challenged Zelda, seemingly oblivious to what just happened. "Your eating manners," Heather said, words laced with ice, patience is slowly ebbing away.
"Eating?" Zelda repeated. "What's wrong with it- more importantly, was I eating?"
Everybody facepalmed, even the skewered fish (with its fins, i guess), and Sniper included. This continued until it's time to return to the base. The rod that Nikolaus threw into the river? They completely forgot to retrieve it, and what's more, it caught a particularly big fish.
I did some minor changes, and yeah, I won't upload any more chapters. Can't believe that I'm bad at writing funny stories too. So... I guess it's a goodbye, then. Bye!