I haven't been sleeping, so I've just been using makeup over my dark circles and doing everything I can to stay peppy, but finally like 3 or 4 days ago I broke and had a full out panic attack. I don't wanna get into it, but embarrassing… Anyway.

Please don't kill me. PLEASE don't kill me! I am SO sorry! It's been an eternity and I feel so horrible! Like, I'm gonna cry in a second horrible. I had to go the hospital to get a checkup on my pneumonia (which is definitely better, yay!) And I went on vacation. Twice. I LOVE vacations! XD

Major excuse, too.

I found a High School Musical Fanfiction section XD

I was there a while. Found a new fanfiction, called Whisper for Help. READ. IT. PLEASE. That freakin section is ADDICTING, my fav stories are in my favorites. You don't even have to like High School Musical to read these, just sayin. I beg of you, read HSM fanfics. lol

But the main reason I'm gone though is because I've become obsessed with the movie Charlie ST. Cloud (PLEASE look up the trailer it's so amazing! And I have never seen such a brilliant and sad movie.) And also, I started watching Fullmetal Alchemist. :)

But here I am. I'll write an extra long chapter for you, okay? :)

But oh my gosh guys, you don't even know how much it means to me how many reviews, hits, favorites and alerts were given to me since I've posted the last chapter! *does the happy dance*

Thank you Aeronero, Guest, Guest, Guest, Lightarcana, Frost Metal 0- 1, Amalia Trevion, Victinis Victory, and Guest. XD (I wonder why they don't let you type in a name anymore. That's a reason you should make an account, I guess. Lol.

Anyway, I think I'll start writing now. HERE WE GO, MEMA chapter 16!

We were alone.

We were lost.

We were scared.

I hate that feeling when somebody dies and you just sit there a moment, waiting for someone to react, someone to move…

Someone to breathe.

I hate when you're the first one to let out a sob, and I hate when another person lets out the first sob that breaks your heart.

I hate it when somebody dies in the first place.

Why does God decide to take someone away from us before we're ready to let them go?

Do I think it's fair? Of course not.

"Serah… I'm so sorry…" Lightning whispered to Serah, wrapping her arms around her and stroking her fingers through her hair.

They had probably already has been there for at least an hour, and it felt as if the whole world had been silenced. Hope stood a couple of feet away, staring up into the sky, blinking rapidly to try to take away some of the tears that continued to well up in his sea green orbs.

"Lightning…" Hope whispered, looking over at the two sisters.

"Hope, just give Serah a minute," she said painfully, as Serah continued to silently sob, clutching her wedding ring in the palm of her hand, the diamond piercing her skin and letting blood seep out slightly.

"Hope, I need to tell you something that you may not like." Lightning whispered, pulling her shirt collar down slightly, revealing a brand. Hope's eyes widened; he stepped back slightly and gasped, trying to stay as calm as he could.

"We should call Vanille, she - she could, could with-"

"I already tried, she's not answering. And if we do that, then we change the future. What if… what if we lose Vanille?"

Hope sighed, lightly slamming his back into a tree behind him.

Serah wiped the tears from her eyes. She needed to stay stong. For Hope and for Lightning.

"Claire…" Serah asked, causing Lightning's head to turn abruptly.

"What."

"Did you have a focus?" Light's expression changed. She looked back at Hope, who looked eager and scared to hear more.

"You were in my focus, Hope. I… I, remember there was water, so much water crashing on my face, and giant crashes of light… I think it was lightning, actually. It's really fuzzy…"

"You were in my focus too…" Hope said faintly, staring at the dirt under him.

"What do you think that means?"

"I think our focus may be-"

Hope gasped as he felt a hand swing around his waist and yank him backwards.

"HOPE!" Serah screamed. Lightning sprang up and sprinted towards her son.

"HOPE DON'T MOVE! HE HAS A KNIFE!" Serah screamed, backing away from the man taking him.

Lightning sprung to action and pushed the man out of Hope's grasp, slamming her elbow into his head and trying to rip the knife out of his hand.

"Nice try, sweetheart, but you're too late." He said mysteriously, before Lightning felt something plunge into her side.

He gasped for air and fell to her knees, crying out in pain.

"NO!" Hope screamed, running towards the man trying to rip the metal object out of his hands.

Lightning stared at Hope trying to protect her and smiled slightly. She saw everything begin to become fuzzy, and she let her eyes close and heard the sound of her crashing to the ground.

Hope stared at Lightning for what felt like hours, ignoring the man's taunts at him. His eyes welled up with tears, not knowing if she was dead or not.

"You… BASTARD!" He screamed, finding more strength than he thought he could muster. The man grabbed Hope's neck and pinned him against the tree. The silverette struggled to breathe, gasping unchanging breaths.

"This is your warning," the man whispered to Hope, laughing silently at his struggles for oxygen and his green orbs dashing to Lightning. He pulled Hope's head forward and slammed it back into the tree trunk, causing blood to ooze out, dying his silver hair red on the back of his head.

Hope saw read and black splotches clouding on the outside of his eyes, and he felt his heart beat faster, his head only thinking about Lightning; he heard his heartbeat echoing in his ears and into his head, before the black started to grow in his pupils, and everything slowly and eventually went black.

I hate the black.

Serah screamed as saw her sister lying on the ground, breathing heavily from the wound on her side, and Hope knocked out on the ground, leaning on the tree behind him, and breathing evenly.

"Oh my god," she whispered, running over to Lightning and ripping open the side of her shirt more, looking at the wound. He felt relief when she realized the wound wasn't big enough to be fatal. But she knew she had to stop the bleeding.

"Serah…" Serah gasped and looked into Lightning's eyes, and saw them flutter open.

"Claire! Can you hear me?"

"Yeah… I can. I think I can walk enough to get back to the apartment. We'll hide in the basement and wait for everyone… wait! Where's Hope?"

"He got hit in the head-"

"What?"

"Shhh, Lightning, I think he'll be ok, he's fine. We just need to get out of here. We can't be alone out here for much loner before someone else comes.

Lightning nodded, standing up, but shaking slightly and stumbling back down.

"Lightning, I'll carry you-"

"But who's gonna carry Hope?"

"We can come back for him."

"No."

"Ok…" Serah watched sadly as she saw Lightning's pained expression as she clenched her still bleeding side and walked over towards the sidewalk a couple of yards away.

"I'll get Hope," Serah whispered, pulling the unconscious teenager onto her back as they made there way slowly but surely back to apartment.

Everything was quiet.

A bit too quiet, to be honest.

Hope's eyelashes softly opened, and he saw icy blue soft eyes staring down at him.

"…Lightning?"

"No, it's Serah. Honey, can you hear me?"

Hope nodded and sat up slowly, examining the atmosphere around him.

"We're in the basement of the apartment complex. We're really only supposed to be here in case there's a tornado or a burglar in the building and we're on lockdown, so nobody'll be here." Hope nodded again, and something suddenly struck him.

"Lightning."

"She's ok, it was… more of a slice then a stab, so I was able to help her out. We still don't know where Vanille is… but I keep calling her every then minutes. Hope continued to nod after every couple of words, and slowly stood up, shaking the fogginess out of his eyes and head and stumbled over to bathroom.

Lightning winced when she heard Hope throwing up. She turned over on the couch there and looked at Serah, who was just watching her.

"Is he ok?" she said hoarsely. Serah nodded.

"I think he's just a little freaked out," Serah encouraged, then out a blanket on Lightning.

"You should sleep, okay? The we'll head out tomorrow and make our way somewhere… I don't know where… but people are after us… so as long as you feel ok we'll go.

Lightning mumbled a yes and closed her eyes, letting her drowsiness takes over without temptation to stay awake.

Hope gagged once more and then leaned back on the one of the bathroom walls, wiping more tears from his eyes. He didn't know why he felt so upset. Lightning was ok. He was ok. They were safe at the moment. But for some reason the tears wouldn't go away. He felt like tere was something inside him, begging for release, begging to get out, but he didn't know what exactly wanted out.

Maybe he needed the pain to get out. It was so deep in his blood, so hard to find, and so hard to release.

He didn't want to talk about, it, he just wished everything was back to the way it was, but better. He wanted to see Lighting everyday, and watch her be nicer to people, and see his mom everyday before he went to school, and watched his dead our his eyes over old maps and messages for his work.

Hope pulled the dagger out his back pocket and open it, examine the sharpened blade that glowed in front of him.

Her wanted to live in the house that he lived in with all his things, and he wanted to see his friends again, before they all said he was too weird to be around and he was alone again. He wanted the pain to away.

Hope held the razor to his wrist and sliced. He felt a sharp pain that made him cry out a sob.

"Hope, are you okay?" He heard Serah voice.

"Yes." He yelped out, and suddenly felt the pain go away, and he felt himself become free.

He wanted to be as free as he felt right now. No danger, so cares, no worried. He wanted happiness. And most of all, he wanted love. He wanted everything positive. It was a bit selfish, but it would be worth it in the end, because he would share it with others.

Hope snapped back into reality for a second, sharply in taking breathe as he felt pain return as he saw the deep cut on his thin wrist.

No, no, no.

He couldn't believe what he just did. Hope ripped the bandana out of his back pocket and wrapped toilet paper around his wrist, watching it turn red. Shaking, he put the scarf on and tied it as tight as we could, making him whimper in pain, but he felt satisfied as he felt it tense up there, and felt the blood clot.

I will never do that again.

Hope meekly stepped out of the bathroom double checking the dagger for extra blood and stuck it in his back pocket.

"Hope, are you okay?" Serah cried, coming up to him.
Hope nodded, putting his wrist behind his back just in case, and made his way over to Lightning, sitting next to her sleeping figure on the couch. He tried to push back the stress in his head and realized something.

It was only the beginning.

Uh… yeah. Not completely happy with the chapter :) Wasn't as long as I thought it would be, but I guess I'll see you guys soon. I may be writing another fanfiction along with this one, too. But I don't know yet! As you can see, I changed the rating to M, just cause Hope cuts himself, and language and stuff. It's really a T+ but they don't have that lol.

But I hoped you like dhte chapter and I Hope to see you soon!