Belhaven was clearly thrilled when Finn told him about his regained memory, and that he'd even been able to expand it a bit. The doctor's smile even showed a few teeth, a much happier reaction than Finn had previously seen from the mostly stoic psychiatrist.

He asked Finn a lot about the experience, nodding as Finn haltingly recounted what it had felt like.

"Your friends did very well," the doctor said. "It's as if you slid into your old memory by reliving the start of it, and yes it probably did help that the incident was so intense for you, performing. How did they get the idea, did they tell you?"

Puck had admitted to Finn what he had noticed the night they'd sung "Beth", so Finn told Belhaven about that now. "He said the things I talked about, afterwards, were a lot like what had been going on at the time," he explained. "About things now, but the same basic ideas and stuff. And I had no idea, about that or about singing it the same way, the thoughts just came."

"Hmm."

Finn mentally counted another 'hmm'. Even with the new development, Belhaven still talked the same. Any time now he'd probably hear him say that it was 'promising'.

"Well this development is certainly highly promising, Finn, aside from having the memory itself."

Bingo. Though 'highly promising' is a step up, best I've had before was 'very promising'. "Is there anything more I can do now?" Finn asked. "Maybe try that sort of thing again, even though I'd know about it?"

The doctor considered it. "It depends on how deeply you get into performing," he said. "And the longer the pattern is matched, the easier it may be for you to stay in it instead of slipping out of it. But once you have multiple patterns that start the same way, it can become more difficult to get the older one later."

"So I have to get it right the first time," Finn commented morosely.

"Not 'have to' necessarily. But it would help. The performance may still be the strongest memory, because it's the performance. It's special."

"Hmm." Great, now I'm doing it. "Repeating and getting into patterns, huh." Like drumming. I can get that.

"Yes. But the more a pattern is ingrained, the less your mind is really on it, usually."

Just like drumming, the more I play something the less I have to think about it, Finn thought. And like how it's getting harder to pay attention to this guy because he's always using the same words. School was like that too, after a while it all seemed the same and it was really hard to pay attention to it. But that was boring. Drumming's not and performing isn't either.

Hmm.

As the days went by, little by little the memory of last year's Sectionals seemed to fill in further for Finn, every time he thought about it there seemed to be a tiny bit more. He still didn't know why there was a separate girls' group competing against them, but he could see them dancing along in the audience and he felt how important it had been to beat them. But the process was very slow, and Finn felt that at this rate he'd understand that part of his life about when he died of old age.

He'd tried to expand out the sudden thought flash he'd had as well, about when he'd hurt Rachel physically by accident, but he hadn't gotten much, just sometimes getting that feeling of guilt again, and worse, that something was about to go horribly permanently wrong. 'She can't do that, no, it's wrong and it's all my fault' joined the other thought, and he felt sick, twisted inside, but he didn't know why. It was the past though, Rachel had assured him that there was no permanent damage as a result of the accident, whatever it had been. So she hadn't done it, whatever it was, and right now Kurt was making sure she was okay. Nothing more was coming, and that confusing twisted guilt really hurt, so he gave up trying to think about it.

In late October Finn turned nineteen. He wondered if he really felt nineteen, given that he'd forgotten almost three years, but the answer surprisingly was 'yes'. He had been taking on more responsibility in the tire shop, he was doing well in his two college courses, and now that he had made some progress on his memory he was feeling less dislocated from his life. He knew that there was still a lot more to go, but he'd made a start, and he pushed forward with the potential future plans that he'd already been looking into.

He had a small celebration with his mother, just the two of them at home, before going off to the pub to party with the Glee crowd. It wasn't their usual karaoke night, but Puck had made the arrangements, and more of them had been able to come than usual. His mom, headed off to the hospital for an overnight shift, was happy that there wouldn't be alcohol; Puck got along too well with the pub manager to risk anything that might either close it down or kick them out. Even Puck was acting nineteen.

There was a great turnout, their usual five plus Brittany, and others from Glee: Rory, Sugar, and some of the new people were there at first. Even Mr. Schue and Ms. Pillsbury made a brief appearance to wish Finn well. Singing "Happy Birthday" for some groups could be uncomfortable (for both singers and listeners), but this was going to be just the start of an evening of singing and most of them had decent voices. However, as they were about to start singing to him, Blaine held up his hand for quiet.

"Hold on, there's someone else who wants to wish Finn a Happy Birthday," Blaine said from where he sat across from Finn, bringing his iPad out. "Good thing this place has wifi." He tapped it a few times, and in a moment another voice was heard.

"Happy Birthday, brother mine." Kurt's clear voice came through the speaker. "We miss you here. And since you can't remember your last three birthdays, this one is unmissable. This is for you."

But the voice that then started singing "Happy Birthday" wasn't Kurt's – Finn swallowed reflexively at hearing Rachel sing to him. He'd missed her voice. Some of the others had joined in, but he waved them off, staring at the back of Blaine's iPad. Kurt also stopped, probably when he noticed the others were letting Rachel sing alone.

Cheers came from the table as she finished. "I didn't realize that was going to be a solo," Rachel said, sounding self-conscious.

Blaine exchanged a look with Finn, seeing Finn shake his head. "Ah, you can't expect us to pass up a chance to hear you sing again, especially when you're NYADA's new rising star," Blaine quickly improvised. "And was that you being confused at getting a solo? Doesn't sound like the Rachel Berry I know."

Rachel laughed at Blaine's teasing. "It was just unexpected." She paused. "Happy Birthday, Finn. I know what you said, that regular communication would just drive both of us crazy, and you're probably right, but it's your birthday so it's special, and this is just me talking anyway so you don't have to worry about what I might think. And hello to everyone else, remember that we have an apartment with a pull-out couch so it's like a little New Directions beachhead in New York. We may not have much time for you but we certainly have some space."

Listening to her, Finn found his hands move, grabbing the iPad from Blaine in one swift motion. It wasn't automatic but his impulse had very rapidly been converted to action, since hearing her made him want to see her all the more. Blaine's hand closed over air, and Finn found himself looking directly at Rachel.

"Oh," she said, surprised and suddenly nervous, but giving him a shy happy smile.

"One-time thing," Finn said, gazing at her, drinking in the sight of her. Beautiful. She looks tired though. He didn't know what to say, so he just looked. He supposed he could thank her for the present she'd sent, some great drum accessories she must have found in New York, but he wasn't sure how to put it without either overselling or underselling his thanks.

She nodded, looking back at him. "It's probably just as well, that it's just this time, I'd only get obsessed," she said after a few moments. She gave a small wince as she was apparently nudged from offscreen. "Even more obsessed." She rolled her eyes a little, still smiling. "Everyone's a critic."

Finn smiled back. "Get used to it, rising star." He paused. "I miss you, Rachel." His eyes were intent on the screen, but he vaguely noticed that everyone around him had moved off.

She smiled. "I miss you, Finn. See you at Christmas."

"Take care."

"You too."

Finn passed the tablet back to Blaine, who chatted to Kurt again briefly before their food arrived.

"So, Finn, birthday boy!" Blaine called out as he jumped onto the stage to open up the singing. Artie had rolled to the karaoke machine, so they had something planned. Blaine grinned as everyone focused on him. "This party needs some music, and in your honor we decided we should go a little... eighties." Finn rolled his eyes as the others laughed. "Now this stuff isn't meaningful, as far as we know, or at least as far as we admit, but you do need to listen to this first one because it is telling you something important. Like the doc says, and like we all say, Frankie says..." He grinned and started singing: (*)

Relax
don't do it
When you want to go to it
Relax don't do it
When you want to come ...

Pretty soon everyone was taking turns, picking songs and singing, including the teachers, though they left early. Only one song got vetoed: Paul Hardcastle's "Nineteen", which Brittany hadn't realized was not a sequel to Alice Cooper's "Eighteen".

Finn was having a great time, singing, listening to his friends sing, definitely getting relaxed. Doing this felt so comfortable for him, hard to believe he'd only been back into singing for less than six weeks. It had also been so great to see and hear Rachel, earlier, and he was happy that they seemed to have managed to do that (just once) without putting either of them on edge. He groaned, though, when he heard the intro to the latest music selection being sung by a group of the guys – the song from the one movie that had been conspicuously absent from his mom's recent teen movie nostalgia-fest, presumably because she was being more considerate of potential amnesia references than these guys were: (**)

Won't you come see about me?
I'll be alone, dancing you know it baby
Tell me your troubles and doubts
Giving me everything inside and out, and out
Love's strange so real in the dark
Think of the tender things that we were working on

Slow change may pull us apart
When the light gets into your heart, baby

These lyrics were hitting a little too close to home, though it certainly hadn't been a slow change. But as they moved to the chorus, Finn found he just had to laugh, they were having way too much fun with it.

Don't you forget about me
Don't don't don't don't
Don't you forget about me

Will you stand above me?
Look my way and never love me
Rain keeps falling, rain keeps falling
Down, down, down

Would you recognize me?
Call my name or walk on by
Rain keeps falling, rain keeps falling
Down, down, down

And that was hitting far close to home again, reminding Finn of how Rachel must have felt, in those early days when he'd woken up with no memory of her and pulled away. But this was obviously intended as a joke, and it was easier to lighten up about the whole agonizing situation now that he finally seemed to be getting somewhere. He caught Puck's eye and shook his head, only to get a smirk back from his old friend as the group continued to sing. Well if that's how they want to play it... Finn grabbed the binder and looked up the code for an old Duran Duran song. When they were done he took to the stage and grabbed the mike.

"Yes, thank you so much for that, uh, threat," Finn said with a frown. "Not my choice, you know." There was general laughter. "I have a bit of an answer for you, or really a request, if there's anything more you guys have cooked up." He punched in the code, tapped along with the intro and started to sing: (***)

I made a break I run out yesterday tried to find my mountain hideaway
Maybe next year maybe no go
I know you're watching me every minute of the day yeah

Finn looked meaningfully at the others as he kept on.

I've seen the signs and the looks and the pictures that give your game away yeah
There's a dream that strings the road a broken glass for us to hold
And I cut so far before I had to say

He started pointing to his friends, the conspirators who'd helped him so much, with a broad grin on his face as he went into the chorus.

Please please tell me now is there something I should know...

The party was winding down, with just the few long-timers left: Finn, Puck, Artie, Tina, and Brittany. Finn was on stage, singing Hall and Oates, "You Make My Dreams Come True", which he supposed was wishful thinking on his part since he still had some awesome dreams about Rachel (and he always hoped that some of it might not be just a dream). The others watched.

"Did someone suggest this one?" Artie asked the others.

Puck shrugged. "Nope. And he doesn't seem to notice it's a repeat. It was a mash-up though, might be too different."

"The problem is that he picked this song the first time too," Artie said. "It's stuff he already knew and liked."

"Then you need something he didn't know before," Brittany said in a matter-of-fact tone.

Artie paused, her words sinking in, and he started to grin. "Brittany, you're a genius," he said. Brittany smiled and nodded. "We need something original," he stated. Puck returned his grin, catching on. Tina was just returning from the washroom, so Brittany hurried over to intercept her.

"Tina, can you be Santana for us?" Brittany asked, pulling her over to the table.

"Uh..." Tina raised her eyebrows, shocked and confused. "You want me to insult Finn? Or – uh, no, I miss Mike but I'm not desperate, and Santana would kill me."

"Not like that," Artie said with a chuckle. "Singing. We need you to do her part in one of our numbers."

"Um, okay," Tina said with a relieved smile. "What do you want to do?"

They conferred quickly, and got ready to take over the stage.

As Finn finished, Puck took the mike from him and put it down. "Stick around, you should be able to pick this one up, it's not hard," Puck said as the rest of the group joined them.

Finn realized this was probably some other re-sing attempt, but he figured why not, he'd just go with it and see what happened. He was surprised, though, when the machine was turned off and they started to clap out a rhythm, but he joined in quickly.

Tina started singing, a bit lower than her usual range: (****)

hey-hey-hey you and me keep on dancing in the dark
it's been tearing me apart, never knowing what we are
hey-hey-hey you and me keep on trying to play it cool
now it's time to make a move and that's what I'm gonna do

Artie and Brittany went forward to do an alternating duet part:

lay it all down
got something to say
lay it all down
throw your doubt away
do or die now
step onto the plate
blow the door wide open like up up and away

and the others, Tina and Puck, joined in for the chorus.

let's light up the world tonight
you gotta give up the bark and bite
I know that we got the love alright
come on and li-li-light it up, light it up tonight

The chorus repeated, and Finn joined in, feeling that he was remembering this, but not aware from where or getting a larger memory around it.

let's light up the world tonight
you gotta give up the bark and bite
I know that we got the love alright
come on and li-li-light it up, light it up tonight

The others stopped, but Finn kept going, pushing more energy into it.

hey-hey-hey you and me turn it up ten thousand watts
tell me why we've gotta stop, I just want to let it rock

Artie took over:
hey-hey-hey you and me keep on staring at the road
like we don't know where to go, step back, let me take control

But as Artie sang, Finn staggered, barely staying on his feet as the memories flooded him, overlapping pain and frustration and exaltation, too confusing for him to take in at once.

* "Relax", as performed by Frankie Goes to Hollywood, written by Peter Gill, Holly Johnson, Brian Nash and Mark O'Toole.
** "Don't You (Forget About Me)", as performed by Simple Minds, written by Keith Forsey and Steve Schiff.
*** "Is There Something I Should Know?", as performed and written by Duran Duran.
**** "Light Up the World", as performed by the Glee cast, written by Adam Anders, Peer Åström, Max Martin, Shellback and Savan Kotecha.