A/N: This chapter was the hardest to write. It is so hard to get someone back when trust is broken and was unsure of how to do it. My apologies if this is not a good chapter but I promise to make it up in the chapters to come. As always reviews are welcomed.

Alex looked up from the table she was serving. She felt as if she was being watched. A feeling that had become common to her over the six months since her and Olivia separated. Most would find it creepy and stalker like but she found it endearing. She had a feeling that even if they couldn't work things out Olivia would always watch over her.

Olivia had proved that in more than one way. When there was a rash of break-ins where she lived Olivia had replaced her door with a reinforced steel door. She knew it was her because when she said something to her dad about it he had no clue what she was talking about. That along with the monthly check her father received from her. The first one had a letter with it saying that she didn't want Alex to have to worry about working while she was studying for the bar. The rest were just envelopes with a check in it, never a return address.

What threw her for the biggest loop was when she went to the bank. That was when she learned that not only was Olivia depositing money into her account every two weeks but that while they were together Olivia had never used her money to help with the bills. She had fully taken on the burden herself. No wonder Olivia had picked up so many jobs and wanted to join SWAT. She needed the money not them. Which made her feel like a bigger ass than she already was.

It wasn't that she hadn't tried to contact Olivia since that fateful day because lord knew she had. Every time she hit the preverbal brick wall or in her case the blue wall. She had contacted her uncle hoping to get him to help her and he refused. When she showed up at the front desk of the precinct she worked at a line of officers appeared to refuse her any further into the building. Stating that they had instructions not to let her pass. She was pretty sure that hurt worse than what her father had done.

She had gone to him begging him to go and bring her back. He refused also. Simply stating that there are times that parents need to stay out of their children lives. When she had pointed out that he had done it before he reminded her it was under different circumstances and she needed to fix this herself.

So she did. She had employed the same agency that her father's law firm used. The same one she used to locate Olivia's mother. Except this time they were finding it very difficult to locate Olivia. It seemed as if she had fallen off the map. All her mail was routed to a P.O. Box and they could not find any lease in her name. When told that it was a lost cause Alex offered to pay triple the rate and ordered them to do what they could to find her. So they did.

She had rented a room in one of the worst places imaginable. A raunchy, cheap, seedy motel that seemed to have more hookers and drug addicts than it did roaches. Alex had waited outside Olivia's door for over three hours when one of the ladies of the night proceeded to tell her that if she came home it wouldn't be till early morning. She stayed out all night and slept about four hours before leaving again. Alex left feeling defeated and more determined than ever.

That was three weeks ago and brought her to where she was right now, waiting for Olivia to arrive. With the help of her mother, apparently the only one on her side, she had discovered that Olivia contacted her mother at least once a week to make sure Alex was ok and didn't need anything. So this evening when Olivia called to check on her she convinced her mother to tell her that she needed to see her. So in a few minutes she was going up stairs to her apartment and hopefully her mother could talk to Olivia. With any luck she could convince Olivia to give her ten minutes to beg for forgiveness.

"Mom I'm done and going to head upstairs."

"Ok sweetheart."

Alex opened the door and jumped when she turned on the light.

"What the hell? Are you trying to give me a heart attack?"

"I could ask the same of you." Olivia said as she stood "What's wrong?"

"What?"

"In an agreement we reached your mother would never ask to see me unless something was wrong. Now I'll ask again what's wrong?"

"I miss you and I want ten minutes to beg for forgiveness. To grovel at your feet. What ever it takes to bring you back to me."

"Alex we've gone through this" Olivia dead panned as she headed for the door "No trust no relationship. I'm not in the mood to repeat that."

Alex head strong and determined grabbed Olivia by the shirt and literally slammed her against the door.

"I'm sorry. You have no clue how sorry I am that I misinterpreted everything. But put yourself in my shoes. Suddenly you are working doubles and extra jobs. When I asked why, you tell me you had your reason's. Then I see the red head all over you and a few days later I find a number in your pocket."

"Alex let me go"

"Not till I'm done. So I go to the bank a few weeks back and discovered you have never used any of my paychecks to help with the bills. You'd let me go shopping and spend whatever. No wonder you needed the extra shifts and jobs. Honey I realize you don't have much experience of sharing responsibilities or relationships so let me explain something to you. When you are in a relationship and both parties work and have a joint account you use all the money in that account."

"I wasn't working over for the bills. I wanted to get you a nice engagement ring. I make enough to cover all the bills and still have some left over."

"I didn't need a ring Olivia. I needed you. I only wanted, still want, you." Alex released Olivia and took a step back "The biggest mistake of my life was letting my past interfere with our relationship. I think you of all people should understand that. That's all."

"Good bye Alex" Olivia said as she opened the door and closed it behind her.

Alex stood there stunned she wasn't expecting Olivia to fall right back in bed with her but she thought for sure she could give her a second chance. With a second wave of determination Alex jerked the door open and charged out of it blindly. When she felt some one grab her tightly she started to scream and beat them on the chest with her fists.

"Hey Blondie its me relax." Olivia said as she let Alex go.

"I thought you left" Alex cried as she flung herself into Olivia's arms.

"I had but something you said made me turn around." Olivia whispered as she pulled Alex tighter against her "The biggest mistake was letting your past interfere with our relationship. I know all to well how that is."

"Yeah" Alex whispered as she looked up at Olivia with the first sparkle she had in weeks in them.

"Yeah Blondie, let's go inside and talk."

Alex was overjoyed with a chance to beg for forgiveness from Olivia.

"You hungry?" Alex asked as she led Olivia in and guided her to the couch.

"I'm fine I can pick something up on the way home."

"Home?" Alex asked as she looked up.

"Even if we can work this out Blondie I'm not moving back in immediately. This is something that can't be brushed away with I'm sorry and please forgive me."

"I know but please let me get you dinner. At least let me know you have had one good meal in six months."

"No Alex but thank you."

Alex nodded and dropped to her knees in front of Olivia.

Olivia raised an eyebrow and bit her inner cheek to prevent from laughing.

"What are you doing?"

"I am on my knees to beg for your forgiveness. You will never know how sorry I am."

Olivia placed a finger on Alex's lips to silence.

"Get off your knees and come sit with me."

Alex nodded and sat on the couch next to Olivia.

"Alex did you really think I was the type to cheat on you?"

"No.""Then why? Why did you think that?"

"I don't know."

"You saw something or you thought you did? It was more than the red head."

"It seemed as if all the women were throwing themselves at you. I guess with my past I assumed the worst."

"Alex there's not a day goes by that some woman hasn't thrown themselves at me. Its flattering and sickening at the same time. We have a name for them they are called holster sniffers. But I have never entertained a notion about any of them. Blondie the only one that gets my blood pumping and heart beating fast is you."

"Really? They always throw themselves at you?"

"Yes. I get an average of three numbers a day. All of which I've always thrown away, to the dismay of my partner. I don't want them. Yeah sure I bet the anonymous sex is outstanding. They would probably do things I've only dreamed about. Wait maybe I need to rethink this."

"Not helping." Alex said as she smacked Olivia's arm.

"Blondie in and out of the bedroom you more than satisfy me. You have since the first day I met you. I don't want to come home to anyone else, raise children with anybody else, or spend my final days with anyone else but you. "

"I would like that to. That is if your willing to give me a second chance. Olivia Benson I swear to you I will never doubt you or your love for me ever again. I want to spend the rest of my life making it up to you. I'll do what ever it takes, buy you what ever you want, name it, its yours."

"See that's just it" Olivia said as she stood with Alex quickly on her heels. She lost her once she'd be damned it will happen a second time. "I only want you. Nothing more."

"You have me." Alex whispered as she flung herself into Olivia's waiting arms as the tears flowed freely.