AN: Hope you enjoyed the last chapter! Here's the disclaimer: Downton Abbey does not belong to me! Please enjoy chapter four!
Matthew's heart thrummed nervously as he waited for Lavinia to enter the room. He'd told Mary he'd have to do this alone. He would have to do it in person. He would have to explain it all to Lavinia this way, though she could choose whatever way she liked to end it with Carlisle. Lavinia deserved an explanation in person at least.
"Matthew darling, I didn't know you'd be here!" Lavinia Swire smiled as she entered the room and practically ran to Matthew, and kissed him on the lips. She noticed instantly the lack of response, and her heart sped up in worry. "Matthew is everything all right? You seem… distant." Lavinia to his hand and sat down, leading him to as well. He closed his eyes, and took a breath.
"Lavinia, I'm afraid that… blast, I don't know where to begin." Matthew cursed himself. Lavinia looked at his eyes, and his posture, and seemed to understand. "You wish to break the engagement." It wasn't a question, but a statement; she held her breath, waiting for his response, praying that somehow, someway she was dreadfully wrong.
"Yes." Matthew sighed, feeling ashamed at not being able to put it to words by himself. "Matthew, I don't understand- when last we saw each other… oh!" Lavinia's tears fell instantly, her pale skin turning red, her lips trembling. "I'm sorry Lavinia, you see" "Who is she?" Lavinia Asked, trying to compose herself. "What?" Matthew asked in surprise.
"It's Lady Mary isn't it?" Lavinia locked eyes with him coldly. "Yes." Matthew saw no point in lying to Lavinia. He had to constantly remind himself that she deserved honesty. "I- I've known Matthew- that you- you loved her. I… I'd try to deny it. But I- I always knew!" Lavinia's breath hitched in her throat. "I loved you Lavinia. There is a part of me that loves you now." Matthew admitted freely. "But the part of you that loved me was never as great as the part of you that loved Mary. I saw it in your eyes on our first visit to Downton." Lavinia straightened out the grey material of her skirt and avoided eye contact.
"Lavinia, please, I wish I could explain it to you! But the words are difficult to find." Matthew ran a hand through his hair as he sighed. "I don't think so. To sum it up, you love the lady Mary, as you've always loved her. She denied you, and you joined up, leaving her behind. You met me on leave, and began writing letters. We became dear friends, I fell madly in love with you, and we became engaged far too quickly. Then you realized your mistake, and want to reverse it by marrying Mary." Lavinia burst into tears again as she finished her account.
It took all of his restraint not to hold her, and console her. "Lavinia, while parts of your summary are true, many parts are false. For instance, I fell in love with you. With your kindness, and honesty, and angelic beauty. But you see," "I'm not Mary." Lavinia finished for him. He nodded, somewhat sheepish.
"And this is truly what you want then Matthew? To be released from our engagement?" Lavinia asked, a shallow well of hope springing in her heart "Perhaps he will deny it. And we can forget and move on." "Yes, Lavinia. It is."
"Alright then. Matthew, this is the end of it for us. We- we shall never meet again." Lavinia stood to go. "Lavinia" "no, Mathew, it's better for me this way. Don't try to contact me again. Not for a while anyways!" She almost yelled, and took a calming breath.
"I loved you Matthew. I will miss you. Good bye." She kissed him gently on the cheek, and then ran from the room before her tears could be seen. Matthew sighed shakily, and stood, putting his cap back on, and taking one last look at the sitting room of the Swire's beautiful home. It was very familiar to him at this point, now he'd never see it again. It was a strange thought, but true.
He began towards the door, and glanced behind him only once. It was the end of a chapter in his life, the chapter that had been written mostly by Lavinia Swire, a woman he'd probably never see again. He whispered a quiet goodbye, and walked towards the motor, not daring to look back.
If he had, he would have seen Lavinia's tear streaked face watching him go towards the motor, wanting so badly to call out to him, to tell him all was easily forgotten, and to take him in her arms and kiss him with all of her love. He stepped into the car, and said something to the driver, making him laugh. Lavinia felt her heart breaking, knowing she would never again be the one that he whispered to during dinners, or took in his arms to kiss goodnight- that he would not be the father of her children. She watched him, until the motor was entirely out of view, and succumbed to the over whelming grief she felt in her heart.
AN: I know there was no M and M fluff in this chapter, and it was rather sad. But I thought it was necessary, as I quite liked Lavinia as a character, and thought she deserved a real goodbye. Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed!