Author's Note: First let me thank everyone who had reviewed, alerted, or put this story on their favorites it means a lot to me.

Yeah there is only one chapter today, I had a massive migraine yesterday (I know, hell of a way to spend my birthday)that led to not being able to concentrate on writing and finally sent me to a dark room. On the up side sound doesn't bother me when I have one so I was listening to my MP3 player and come across a song that I think fits this story so I'm considering a video to go along with this.

Warning: Talk about abuse is contained in this chapter.

Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Do I really need to say that I don't own them? I'm just playing with someone else's toys and do return them in the same shape I have found them (well that may not always be the case).

That evening Hermione asked,

"Anything interesting happen today?"

"Not really."

"Oh."

Severus sat his book down turning to look at her,

"What's on your mind?"

"I overheard Minerva talking about apprentice….." she sighed, she couldn't even try to lie to him.

"I talked to Minerva yesterday about an apprenticeship at Hogwarts."

"I see, in what subject?"

"I was interested in potions, she…. Well she came up with a whole thing to tell you that it would be great for you to have an apprentice then we could spend more time together, which technically is true but I'm not going to deceive you like that. If you don't want to have an apprentice I'm sure Professor Flintwick would love to apprentice me in charms."

"Slow down Hermione, you wouldn't enjoy an apprenticeship under me." Though he couldn't really come up with a convincing argument as to why not, it would be seven years of her with him.

"You know what kind of teacher I am." He finally said.

"Yes, I see your point." Hermione was disappointed, she was kind of hoping that he would be enthusiastic about the prospect of teaching her again.

"Hermione, it would put us in a relationship again where I am in control and you're not. I cannot and will not do that to you again."

"I understand."

"Then why do I get the impression that I have hurt you again."

"No…. well yes, but I really do understand what you're saying. I just hadn't thought of that part of it."

"What did you think of?" he asked calmly.

"Equal partnership more than you dominate me, I should have known there is a reason they are called masters."

"Let me think about it, I'm not promising anything but I will consider it."

She smiled at him before saying,

"If you don't think it will be a good fit I really do understand."

"Yes, you've said so. I just don't like the thought of hurting you in any way now."

"Severus." She said a little later and he knew by her tone this was not going to be pleasant.

"Yes Hermione."

"You said you were…. That your father threw you down the stairs, why?"

"I said it so you would understand that I know what it's like to have no control over someone hurting you but you can control hurting yourself."

"No, why did he do that?"

"Hermione, you really don't want the answer to that question."

"Would I have asked if I didn't want to know?"

Severus sighed, he knew that she wanted to know. He just didn't want to tell her.

Severus looked away from her, his face turning red at the memory of what he had done to raise Tobis' ire that night. It was really embarrassing, and a memory he really didn't want to share with her.

"He caught me doing something that he deemed was vile."

"What could be so bad that deserved that?"

Severus sighed, this one act of abuse was the reason he had only ever had sex with one person in his whole life. The woman sitting on the sofa next to the chair he occupied.

"Masturbating, he caught me masturbating in the shower."

"What? How old were you?"

"Fourteen."

"But that's normal."

"Not to him, he pulled me out of the shower kneed me in the groin then shoved me down the stairs telling me that if I couldn't get a girl to sleep with me then I needed to be a man and rape one to get off since that was what they were for."

Hermione gasped, her hand over her mouth. Tears burned her eyes, now she wished that she hadn't asked. Finally she said,

"I shouldn't have pushed you to answer that."

"No, I told you I wanted to be honest with you and that includes my past. Yes what he did affected me more than I even knew until that night we were on the astronomy tower."

She wanted to asked what he meant but bit her tongue to keep from doing so.

"Until that night I didn't realize that from the time he did that until our bonding night I never was interested in sex, that it was because of what he did that night. No I never had the desire ever to have Lily in that way, yes before that happen I was a normal teenager fantasying about girls but never her."

"If you had to take an erection potion….."

"No, I never had to. I even thought I would have to, I had it with me but…. I don't know, that first night you were so…. That you truly wanted me in that way it shifted something inside me, I desired to be with you. Of course I blamed it on the charm, but it never went away. I always had the desire to have you."

Hermione was torn between feeling hurt for him, anger at what his father did to him for something that was normal, and desire for him with his words of wanting her. She didn't even know what to address first.

She was too quiet, which he knew meant her mind was traveling at lightning speed. He looked over at her to see pain, anger, and something else take turns crossing her face. He moved to sit by her on the sofa before saying,

"Hermione?" he reached out brushing her jaw with the back of his fingers, she turned to look at him. "Tell me what's on your mind."

She sighed,

"I don't know whether to be angry at your father for punishing you in such a way for doing something that's normal, to be hurt that you were hurt that way, or to kiss you for wanting me."

"Well I know which one I would prefer you go with." He said to her smirking.

"I'm being serious."

"So am I."

She leaned over lightly touching her lips to his, she allowed him entrance when his tongue ran across her bottom lip. She had a fleeting thought of he always kissed like they either never had before or it was the last time he would ever kiss her.

When he pulled back he said,

"Yes I prefer that to the your other thoughts."

"You really don't want to know them now." She said with a smile.

"I want to know all of what goes on in that mind of yours."

"Oh I'm sure you would love to know." She winked at him.

Severus groaned before saying,

"You know you're going to kill me witch."

"You'll die happy."

He smirked at her before standing saying,

"I'm going to bed."

"Okay, good night."

Severus made it to the steps before saying,

"Hermione."

She turned to look at him saying,

"Yes?"

"Would you consent to share a bed with me," he had to admit why he wanted it. "I want to hold you."

Hermione set her book down standing she walked toward him flicking the light off saying,

"Yes, I think I might like that also."

Author's Note: Comments really do make me smile and brighten my day.

Also I wanted to let you know that I have a couple of Severus/Hermione videos on youtube, the link is in my profile.