Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Marvel-characters!

AN: Thank you so much for all your reviews! I didn't forget about this story, but I simply didn't have any time to write this chapter. My mom had surgery (she's all right) and I had other things on my mind. But here it is, THE chapter… if you know what I mean

~ Shadows and Regrets ~

Chapter 8

~ o ~

A few weeks earlier on Asgard

~ o ~

Lying on his back – trying to ignore the burning sensation of his chest – Loki contemplated how he had gotten into this position exactly. Where had all this begun? In Jotunheim just before Thor's banishment? During the talk with his so called father about his heritage in the weapon's vault? Maybe he was completely wrong and maybe the fault lay much earlier in his life. Loki would never know. What he did know, was that he had to do something. He couldn't just lay back and wait for the guards to drag him back to his cell.

He simply refused.

Slowly, while groaning as he felt his lungs screaming for more air, he pushed himself up again. He was sure some of his ribs had been bruised or even cracked, but he pushed that thought aside. He was pleased to see that the guards waiting to take him back had not moved. Odin had come closer to him, however, with Gungnir firmly in his hand. It was nice to know that the mighty Allfather was so cautious around him, even now with his magic running almost empty.

"Are you really going to do this?" Loki asked mockingly. All he had to do really, was buy himself time. His magic was growing – albeit slowly – and soon he would be able to transport himself away from this place. He might go to Alfheim for a while. Or perhaps he could go to Jotunheim. There was still much to learn about his true people after all. He shuddered at the idea of his 'true people'.

"End this now, Loki," Odin said in his usual deep, stern voice. His one eye stood dark and his lips were thin and white. He clearly hated the situation. "You cannot escape. You have no magic it seems. Otherwise, you would have long gone."

That was sadly true. "It is your entire fault really," Loki said, straightening his back. In order to face Odin, he wanted to appear tall and broad. "There is just something about you that I want to rebel against. I used to crave your love, but that time is gone."

Odin tightened his grip on the spear.

"It hurts you, doesn't it," Loki continued, knowing he had hit a sore spot, "knowing that you have lost your control over me. You know how much damage I can do to this realm and you know a cell won't ever contain me."

"I do not want to contain you," Odin argued irritably, "I want to help you. You have lost your way, my son, and I merely trying to guide you back towards the light."

"That's just…completely untrue. Do you even believe yourself?" Loki spat. He knew he had wandered off into the dangerous zone of real conversation. He was no longer buying time or merely pestering the King. He was actually telling truths. "I know you regret taking me from Jotunheim that day. I am sure you can imagine how delightful your entire life would be right now. I know for a fact that you wouldn't worry about Asgard as much."

"I do worry about this realm, but for different reasons," Odin said, "as I worry about you."

A cunning grin spread across Loki's face when a new thought invaded his mind. "I understand now," he said, his voice low, "you know what to do with me – you have no trouble locking me away – but when Thor will be King…well, we all know how much he cares for me."

Odin said nothing. His face paled.

"Thor will never have the courage or strength to lock me away for the sake of Asgard," Loki continued, enjoying how he had gained control over the conversation again, "when your beloved son is King, I will be free to do what I want. I'll come to Thor when he wants to pass judgment on me for certain crimes, but I'll know just how to play him. I can have him eating out of my hand and you know this."

"Enough!" Odin shouted. "Thor is not King yet and you answer to me."

"But I don't, do I?" Loki's grin only grew. "Because you are as weak and pathetic as Thor is. Like father like son."

Odin fired another bolt of energy at him and Loki couldn't avoid getting hit in time. He wasn't as quick on his feet as he would have liked and he flew back, once again landing harshly on the floor. His head smacked against the cold stones and Loki knew instantly that he was bleeding. A thousand stars played before his eyes, but he ignored them. He had to push through the uncomfortable pains and stand up again. He needed to face Odin or he would appear weak and defeated.

What he had not expected however, was Odin's spear only inches away from his throat.

"You could end it," Loki almost dared his father, "you could just kill me and end all this misery. For one, you'd know the nine realms would be safe from my mischief. Your family would be safe because I won't ever stop. I have tried to kill Thor before and I failed, but I know his weaknesses now and I might just get lucky next time."

Loki wasn't really sure why he wanted to antagonize Odin this much. Buying time was one thing, but Loki was doing something else entirely. Perhaps he needed to vent some emotions. Perhaps he just felt like being cruel. He'd never know.

The only thing he knew at this moment was that Odin had grabbed his shirt with his free hand – Gungnir still against his throat. "What have I done wrong that you ended up so…wretched?"

"You should know," Loki said in a hard whisper, his teeth bared and his eyes cold, "you raised me."

"Damn you!" Something snapped within the Allfather at that point. After releasing Loki's shirt, he brought down his fist and beat him. Again. And again.

Loki did nothing. There really was nothing he could do. Shock had now taken over his body. He simply hadn't known he could push Odin this far over the edge. He felt his father's hands beat him until he could taste his own blood which had flooded his mouth. A new pain then came to the foreground, something sharp and burning. Loki realized it was Odin's spear that had cut across his right eye.

Something had changed. Loki not only felt pain, but he felt something new as well, something powerful. He was smart enough to figure it out within seconds. When Odin's spear had touched his skin, he had absorbed some of its mystical and mythical power. His magic was trying to feed on it, but the touch had been too short.

"Damn you for being my son!" Odin shouted and then he stopped. He reached for his chest and sucked in a deep breath. He stumbled back and for a moment, Loki thought he would fall into the Odinsleep. How convenient that would have been.

It didn't happen, however, but that mattered not. Loki laughed. A high, unnatural and dark laugh. Odin's one good eye fell on him, confused and – if Loki was not mistaken – scared. Maybe he was wrong because he only had one eye himself now. The other one was already swollen shut due to the cut.

"What have I done?" Odin whispered to himself. He kept on looking at his son and he was horrified.

Loki moved as quickly as he could while his body screamed at him to stop. Everything ached and he wondered for a short moment how horrible he looked. But he couldn't dwell on that now and Loki forced himself to focus on his new objective. He reached out with his pale and thin hands and grabbed Odin's spear.

During the first few seconds Odin was merely taken aback by his son's strange actions and then his blue eye widened when he realized. He pulled back his spear and instinctively held it out of reach. Loki fell back – not entirely sure why – but he still laughed because he could feel it.

The magic inside of him was alive. He pushed himself into a sitting position, gasping for air while his lungs burned, but he didn't bother to speak. In the end, there was nothing left to say. Actions said so much more than words, did they not? Loki connected his gaze with his father for what might be the last time and he inhaled deeply. The moment had grown silent…dead. No one dared to move.

Loki reached for his magic and then felt a familiar pull deep within his stomach.

~ o ~

When he opened his eyes after transporting himself away from Asgard, he felt tired. He had been unable to focus on his destiny. Getting beaten this severely had damaged him and Loki would need rest to recover.

But where had he gone?

He allowed his gaze to wander around while he desperately tried to gain control over his breathing. Apparently, he had knocked over a chair while arriving, but Loki paid it no further attention. Then he knew exactly where he was. His mind had not chosen this place consciously and Loki cursed it. In all the nine realms, there was but one place where he could find rest and safety at this point.

Without having known, he had transported himself to Thor's room in Stark's mansion. He sensed his brother's presence here, like he could sense him approaching now. The door to the room swung open and Loki spun around. He shouldn't have done so. He lost his balance and fell to his knees, coughing up blood onto the wooden floor.

Thor was shocked by what he saw. His blue eyes stood wide, a gaze that reminded Loki so much of Odin.

Loki turned his head away when Thor rushed towards him. He reached deep within himself, trying to feel his magic, but he found…barely anything. He panicked when he felt that he had used almost all of his magic to get here. There was not enough power left to heal himself and Loki knew he was at the complete mercy of his brother. He despised it.

"Loki," Thor breathed near his ear. He placed a comforting hand on Loki's back, seemingly unsure what to do. "By the Gods, what has happened to you?"

Loki wanted to answer, but his throat felt too dry. He decided he had to look at Thor, he needed to see what his brother was thinking. What lay in Thor's eyes revealed nothing new. There was mostly horror and concern. Gently, Thor pushed away some of Loki's black hair that had fallen before his injured eye. Thor only swallowed heavily.

More footsteps approach, but Loki couldn't really see who had entered. His one eye couldn't focus anymore and everything became one large blur. He was thankful that he hadn't lost consciousness. All that Loki could see now was a head full of red hair. All that he could hear was a high, female voice.

"Thor, what happened?"

Loki closed his eyes, feeling tired.

Small, soft hands touched his face – probably examining his wounds.

"I don't know, Natasha," Thor replied, his voice surprisingly calm, "he must have transported himself here."

The soft hands disappeared. "I'll get help."

There was movement around him and Loki forced himself to again focus on Thor. There was a chance that Odin would send men after him and Loki didn't want to return to Asgard. He had to tell him! Loki grabbed Thor's arm and forced him to look into his green eye. "Help me," he breathed, only thinking of Odin.

"I will, brother," Thor said soothingly, "but tell me, what happened?"

"Odin," Loki sighed, feeling himself fall towards a darkness, "Odin did this."

A horrified expression crossed Thor's face. His grip on Loki faltered. "That is a lie," he hissed, "father would never do something like…like this."

Loki tried to swallow, but the vile taste of blood made his gag. "I'm not lying, I swear."

"No," Thor grabbed both Loki's shoulders and shook him, "I've had enough of your lies, brother. I demand that you tell me the truth!"

Loki could see why Thor didn't want to believe him. He thought his father was a perfect man, one without flaws. One that never lost control over something and one that, whatever happened, would love his sons. Loki was shattering that unrealistic image. "I'm sorry-"

"No!" Thor stood, looking down at his brother. "We shall return to Asgard and I will learn the truth instantly."

Loki was growing more and more desperate. He was going to lose consciousness soon and if Thor wasn't prepared to help him, then Loki was alone. He had no other place to go since he refused to show himself so weak to his allies and foes. Thinking quickly, Loki did the last thing possible. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

Thor was furious. "How dare you defile the name of our father, our King and-"

Reaching for Thor's hand, Loki released the last of his remaining magic. It wasn't nearly enough to heal himself, but it was enough for another spell. That spell wasn't easy and Loki had to strain himself to focus. He erased his brother's memories of the last few minutes, hoping that he could tell a lie afterwards; tell Thor it had been the guards or something. He was hoping that when Thor no longer remembered the truth, he would be willing to help him instantly.

The spell went wrong, however. It expanded beyond Loki's control. Thor could feel something was happening to him and he stumbled back. "What are you doing, Loki?" He demanded to know as he reached for his head. He groaned when his mind began to ache. He distanced himself from his brother, but that was pointless. "Tell me what you are doing!"

"I'm sorry," Loki repeated. The last he saw was Thor trying to escape him by leaving the room, but Loki knew his spell had worked to some extent.

He lost consciousness then, not knowing what the situation would be like when he would wake.

AN: Sooooo… I had a blast writing this, but I'm not entirely sure what to think of it. Odin feels ooc, but he had to be for this to happen. What did you think?