(A/N: Sorry for not updating in forever finals are coming up and I've been sick, which is obviously a horrible combo once summer comes around and school is out I'll be able to update more frequently so until then please be patient.)

-Unknown location

A man in dark clothing hurried through the halls a brutal two-hand sword strapped across his back. He reached a large door knocking against it heavily crying out loudly "Sir it's urgent please open up."

The door unlocked with a click and the man opened it quickly moving inside.

"What is it?" a rather angry man with a cactus like hairstyle said glaring.

"Zarcin's squadron has been captured by the black mark sir!" the hooded man spoke quickly not eager to provoke Kibaou's wrath.

"Who the fuck's Zarcin?" Kibaou replied his scowl deepening "cause I'm gonna fucking murder him!"

"How were they captured" a calm yet cold voice spoke from behind Kibaou.

The man gulped at being addressed before speaking "they were ambushed on the way up sir, the Black Mark was waiting in ambush inside one of the boss rooms sir." He stuttered looking at the ground.

"Their leader is smart" the man known infamously as PoH stated calmly. "he has figured out how we move about and is hunting accordingly, but that won't save him in the long run we have the location of his base and it's only a matter of time before those fools crack so we either move our base or destroy theirs."

"Don't we have any spies in there guild? Can't we just get them to give those idiots some teleport crystals?" Kibaou asked arrogantly.

"We could," PoH replied "if, in fact, we had any spies." he finished bluntly

"Why the hell don't we they're a huge guild and that fucking brats gonna have hell to pay when I catch him." Kibaou raged.

"It's not for lack of trying" PoH replied "their very method of recruiting is actually quite full proof. They don't recruit you just for being strong, you need to have relatively good morals and such and I have good reason to believe that their informants do thorough background checks, and that insufferable rat of theirs probably keeps a running tab of most of the front liners and mid leveled players." PoH finished a hint of spite creeping into his voice.

"uuh sir?" the hooded man spoke uncertainly "don't they have a fortress with a bottlenecked wall or something?"

"Yes they do" PoH replied "and in normal circumstances it would be suicide, but…"

The hooded man gulped "But what, sir?"

"They still cling tightly to their 'human morals', they'll hesitate just before the kill allowing us to strike them down. And that defensive wall relies mainly on ranged power something that is rather rare in Aincraid. Unfortunately the highest level ranged player also happens to be one of their founding members, but other than that they only have people with dagger throwing skills and such. The bottleneck is a double edged sword as we will be able to retreat and heal out of the line of fire quite easily."

"So let me get this straight were gonna charge right in there and wreck their base?" Kibaou said excitedly, bloodlust creeping into his voice. He then frowned "but wait don't they have a teleport or something in there?"

"It doesn't work while the base is under attack" PoH replied evenly

"Hehe well then, what the hell are we waiting for?" Kibaou said smirking cruelly "Lets bring that brat and his lapdogs back to reality."

"Indeed" PoH said smiling and looking at the cloaked man "tell the men to ready for battle. It's show time."

Black Mark base: lounge

Kirito yawned slightly as he became aware. He shifted himself slightly on the… couch? It certainly didn't feel like one anyway it was really soft and warm in fact it almost felt like he was lying on….. damn it. He opened his eyes looking around rapidly and sure enough he found himself being held in someone's lap. That someone of course was Argo.

"Argo… what are you doing?" Kirito asked in a strained voice.

"Using Kii-bou as a blanket" she replied as if it was perfectly logical.

Kirito made to stand up but Argo kept him down using her moderate strength stat to keep her arms on his chest and head respectively. Kirito made to use his much greater strength stat when Argo again spoke.

"Silly Kii-bou I wouldn't do that if I were you." She said smirking evilly "if you use too much strength it'll be counted as a crime by the system."

"But you're using more than the strength limit! Why aren't you getting a criminal charge?" Kirito said indignantly.

"Because I'm just using my strength to stay in the same place while you're trying to use it to move me therefore making it a crime." She replied "it's a nice little loophole isn't it?" she said smirking.

Kirito sighed heavily "Wouldn't this at least count as harassment? Where's the damn popup?" he complain trying again to stand up and failing.

Argo smirked "In order to prevent people from unjustly jailing people in dudgeons and such if you fall on someone both of you are exempt from it, although if Kii-bou's hands were to make contact with something a bit more… adult that would be neutralized." She teased.

Kirito sighed heavily before opening his menu and flicking through the menu till he reached his friends list. He then scrolled through the modest list and highlighted Argo's name.

"What are you doing?" Argo said slightly nervous.

"Defriending you" Kirito said simply.

"W-what w-wait a minute Kii-bou I'm letting you go! See not holding you or anything! It's okay now right? Right? Kii-bou?" Argo cried out letting him go quickly.

Kirito quickly jumped up his hand still hovering over the Defriend option as he looked at Argo he frowned and pressed a button causing Argo to flinch, until that is she got a popup. New message received sender: Kirito subject: the look on your face.

Not even bothering to read the message Argo looked up at the clearly amused Kirito and said "That's not funny Kii-bou I'm supposed to be the only one to tease in this relationship." This caused Kirito to sweat drop at the matter of fact speech she was using.

"Whatever" Kirito replied shrugging "I'm gonna go out grinding soon so see you later."

Argo suddenly tensed "with who?" she said her tone barely equal.

"I'm going with Asuna and Yukki, why?" Kirito replied.

Argo internally cursed; while all of the girls were good friends none were as close as Asuna and Yukki were. Their relationship was such that if one of the two couldn't get Kirito they would prefer that the other did as compared to another one of the girls. This of course means they often worked together in their attempts to gain Kirito's favor and were all the more effective because of it.

Argo quickly opened her menu and sent off rapid messages to Sinon, Silica and Lizbeth of the recent occurrences leaving out of course Kirito's new found familiarity with her lap. Within second the door to the lounge slammed open "Kirito can we grind with you?" Sinon said acting as the spokesperson for the 2 other girls who were rapidly nodding their heads behind her.

"Sorry Sinon but Kirito's grinding with us today" a new voice said turning around they saw Asuna standing next to Yukki.

Yukki then proceeded to march towards Kirito gripping one of his arms and smiling before proceeding to drag him across the room "come on Kirito" the girl called still dragging him "we should head off now."

"I'm coming, calm down." He said as he was dragged across the room oblivious to the dark looks Yukki was getting from 4 of the 5 other girls in the room.

"Let me just pick up some food and I'll be ready to go" Kirito said attempting to free his arm.

"Don't worry about it" Yukki replied "me and Asuna already put together a picnic basket" she said shooting a victorious look back at the rest of the girls who glared in response.

Asuna also looking rather smug walked up and, grabbing Kirito's other arm, said clearly "we prepared several sandwiches, your favorite kind too" she said smiling brightly.

"Mm so whens lunch again? Can it be now please?" Kirito said immediately brightening at the thought of his one true love, sandwiches. Okay maybe I'm exaggerating a bit there but whatever those sandwiches are too good Kirito thought to himself.

Yukki and Asuna smirked knowing Kirito would do essentially whatever they asked now.

The rest of the girls just frowned Yukki and Asuna had both trained up their cooking skills something none of the other 4 girls had done. The result was that they were getting a lot of extra attention from Kirito because as they all knew the best way to get to Kirito's heart was through his stomach. That's not to say that he was the type to love someone for their cooking alone it was just a way to get a foothold.

The girls looked at each other nodding they had to remedy the situation else Yukki and Asuna would get ahead of them. As Kirito left with Yukki and Asuna Argo spoke "we need to raise our cooking level if we want to have any chance" she said.

Suddenly Klein who had been sitting of to the side spoke out "So what you're saying is that it's time for you girls to get back in the Kitchen?" he said sniggering before cutting off abruptly as 4 killing intents were focused on him causing him to start shivering.

After they had dealt with Klein the Sinon spoke "let's just find out what foods give the best XP per level and get a bunch of ingredients to make them." And so the girls went off mission in mind.

As for Klein, well let's just say that those girls have some nasty claws. And as for the criminal punishment system, well it gets scared sometimes too right?