Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Marvel-characters!

AN: Thank you so much for all of your reviews. I wasn't sure about the last chapter, but you guys convinced me that I did a good job. Writing action has never been my strong suit. I'm better at writing dialogue. That's my opinion at least. So again, thanks for all the feedback!

This is another big chapter and I would love to get some feedback on it as well. It wasn't easy to write this and keep Loki IC. I hope I succeeded!

~ Shadows and Regrets ~

Chapter 13

The entire throne chamber was quiet. No one spoke and tears were only flowing silently. No one dared to make a noise. Loki didn't dare to either. He merely allowed his gaze to slide across the room. The first person he saw was his mother. Her cheeks were wet with tears and her eyes were bloodshot and tired. Her normally collected composure had been shattered. Loki had never his mother so distressed and pained before. He wanted to comfort her, but he couldn't.

Odin was kneeling, his head bowed and his back arched. He was no longer the wise, powerful King. He had been reduced to nothing more than an old man whose hands were tied before him in a humiliating way. It was a sad vision and Loki couldn't bear it. He quickly looked away, swallowing down his own panic and distress.

The next person he saw was Thor. The once golden Prince of Asgard looked thin and battered. His hair stuck to his forehead and his eyes spoke of nothing more than defeat. His hands were tied before him as well and he too was kneeling.

In fact, everyone was kneeling. Every Asgardian currently present in the throne room looked beaten and hurt. Their eyes betrayed the faintest hint of anger, but mostly spoke of fear. The Warriors Three had been bound (like everyone else in the room) and deep cuts ran along their arms and legs. Loki could tell they had fought bravely in some battle, but eventually they had been forced to surrender. Sif – as always - looked fierce and furious when looking at Loki. Yet, there lay more in her eyes. She looked almost guilty, as if thinking 'I should have known you would do this to us'.

Loki's breath was taken away by it all. He wanted to stumble back until he realized that he was seated. He was sitting on Odin's throne, Gungnir in his hand.

Everyone kneeling before him.

At that moment Loki knew that Asgard was his. He was the victor here. He was King.

It couldn't be true.

It wasn't true.

"Is this what you desire?" The voice of The Other made him turn his head. The leader of the Chitauri stood behind the throne, looking down at all the many Asgardians gazing up at him in despair. "The throne is yours, Loki, as is this entire realm. Both Odin and Thor are kneeling at your feet."

Loki was unsure why, but he felt sick. His breathing quickened and he lost his grip on Gungnir. It fell to the ground with a shrill sound which echoed painfully through the room. Loki wanted to rise from the throne, but The Other's hand quickly pushed him back down.

"You wanted a Kingdom," he whispered in a hard voice, "you wanted Midgard. I can give Asgard as well."

There lay surprise and confusion in his voice. "Why?"

"Help me conquer the universe," The Other said smoothly, "and I will give you Midgard and Asgard."

"You mean help Thanos conquer the universe?"

A deep, dangerous laugh escaped The Other's throat. It sounded like a filthy gurgle. "He is prepared to give you another chance, Loki," he said, still looking down at the kneeling Asgardians, "there need not be any torture. Just give me the information I want and I shall defeat Asgard's army for you. The realm will be yours. This will be yours."

Loki looked at his father again who still did not look up. Was Odin ashamed that he'd been defeated? Was he ashamed to look at his youngest son who had stolen his throne? Was it both? All that Loki knew was that this picture was wrong. He didn't want to conquer Asgard, he didn't want the throne! At least not like this. Loki could not bear to see his mother cry. If he accepted The Other's help, then he would forever be in his debt. Loki was not the kind of person that liked to be in someone's debt.

He kept reminding himself that he could not show weakness right now. He could not show that he felt torn by his mother's tears, he could not show that seeing Thor kneel before him made him feel uneasy. He simply could not show any sign of weakness and sentiment in this case.

"What say you?" The Other asked.

Loki averted his gaze. "No."

His surroundings vanished instantly and Loki found himself laying on a hard surface again, his hands bound. Gone was the throne, gone was the image of his family. He kept telling himself that he'd made the right decision, but he wasn't sure whether he was telling the truth or lying to himself. Either way, he knew he was in deep trouble. He looked up and gazed straight into The Other's cold, calculated eyes.

"If you will not cooperate willingly," he spat, "then I shall have to make you cooperate."

~ o ~

Thor opened his hand, his fingers spread wide. Small drops of blood covered his skin. The thundered didn't even know whose blood it was. It might be his. It might belong to one of his friends or it could just be the blood of the Chitauri. Either way, it mattered not. Thor kept his hand open and two seconds later, Mjolnir flew towards him. There was no time to hesitate and he knocked aside three more Chitauri-soldiers.

The ships above them were still providing a constant flow of soldiers. There was not a place in New York where the aliens were not present. Thor dreaded to think how many innocents had already died by their hands. It made him angry, but at this moment, his anger meant very little.

The sound of the approaching Iron Man could be heard a short distance away. Thor raised his gaze expectantly. Tony had gone off to bring Natasha to safety after she had taken a bad hit from a Chitauri weapon. Thor fervently hoped that she would be all right, but he knew Natasha was a fighter.

Iron Man finally came into view and Thor smiled weakly. He was relieved that Tony Stark was back, helping them defeat as many Chitauri as possible.

"Thor?" Tony's voice sounded exhausted and uncertain.

He smashed another three Chitauri to pieces. "What is it?"

Iron Man landed beside him and blasted most of their enemies apart. That would buy them a few seconds before more Chitauri came for them. "I thought you said Loki was still on Asgard?"

Thor turned to face Iron Man. Blood was racing through his veins and his breathing was irregular. The toll of battle began to weigh on him so he couldn't begin to imagine how tired the other Avengers were. He blinked sweat from his eyes. "He is," he replied.

"No, he isn't," Iron Man countered, "I just saw him."

"What?" Thor was unsure of what exactly he was hearing. Last time he saw his brother, he watched him walk away from him. Then Thor had been forced to leave Asgard. In fact, he could not be certain Loki ever reached his cell. But why? Why would Loki be on earth? He feared to think that Loki had joined the Chitauri and The Other in order to erase the debt he owned them.

"He was on top of my tower," Iron Man explained, "hauled away by a bunch of Chitauri. He looked bad, Thor, really bad."

Thor tightened his grip on his hammer while his mind was racing to find the right solution. Loki had probably tried to fight The Other. He knew how much Loki hated being on someone's death list. It wasn't that his brother had no enemies, but this case was different.

"Where is he now?" he asked.

"He was brought onto a smaller ship," Iron Man said, "he's probably on one of those by now." Iron Man looked up to the sky where five different gigantic spaceships flew. "You know we can't afford to lose this battle, Thor," he added, "this is our city, our world that's on stake here."

"I didn't expect you to come," Thor sighed.

Captain America joined them, breathing heavily and looking pained while he held a hand over his left side. He might be the super soldier, but in the end he was still human. They had been fighting all night against a force that seems invincible at the time. He had missed the first part of the conversation. "Come where?"

"My brother is up there," Thor explained, already feeling guilty for leaving his friends and comrades behind, "I'm sorry, but I must find him."

"You're leaving us?" The Captain sounded shocked.

"He's my family," Thor replied softly, still looking up at the many ships, "if I don't help him, then no one will." He lowered his gaze and found disappointment in his friends' eyes.

"I get that," Iron Man argued, "but you can't get on one of those ships, Thor. Coulson is doing everything within his power to destroy those and you know he'll succeed eventually. He is a very stubborn man in the end. I don't want to see you get blown to bits."

Thor shifted his gaze between Iron Man and the Captain. "If I do nothing, then Loki will die up there. I will not leave him so I am prepared to take that risk."

"You'll be alone," Steve sighed, dropping his hand from his side, "you'll have no back-up."

"I know."

"And you probably have an hour or so to find and rescue Loki," Iron Man added, "by then SHIELD will have bombed the ships enough times to actually destroy them." As if on cue, more missiles hit the spacecrafts, causing balls of fire to erupt in the sky. The heat could be felt all the way to the ground. A tremor shifted through the air. "Like I said; maybe one hour."

Thor clenched his teeth.

"Good luck," the Captain said.

"And the same to you," Thor replied.

~ o ~

There was a surprise moment of clarity. Loki had not thought it possible, but he knew exactly where he was, who was with him and what was happening. Or about to happen. Perhaps it was because The Other hadn't really tortured him yet, but Loki felt strong and if anything then The Other should have known that his mind was Loki's strongest weapon.

He watched how The Other brought down his hand in order to inflict pain onto him.

As if instinctively, Loki slapped The Other's hand aside and rolled off of the cold, hard table he'd been laying on. He could hear The Other's aggressive growl, but Loki knew he couldn't hesitate now. He ran from the room – knowing that he was already being followed by a dozen Chitauri-warriors – but he didn't look back.

"Bring him back to me!" The Other shouted.

For a short moment, Loki contemplated on leaving this place. He wanted to teleport back to Asgard or some other place where he would be safe, but then he realized; there was not a place in the universe where he could be safe. If he didn't finish it now, he would be running for who knows how long! Loki turned left and hid in a small, dark corner of the corridor. The Chitauri walked straight by without noticing him.

They truly were not the most intelligent beings around.

Loki inhaled deeply, steadying himself. He needed to think of a plan before attacking The Other again. His previous attempt had failed and he wasn't in the mood to feel that excruciating pain again. He supposed he had to feel lucky to have escaped a full-blown torture session. The first thing he needed was some sort of weapon. Magic alone wouldn't help him defeat The Other. The rifles belonging to the Chitauri were useful, but they weren't exactly lethal to The Other either.

Cursing under his breath, Loki forced himself to think outside of the box. His thoughts were soon distracted when he heard The Other's threatening voice.

"I know you are still here, Loki Laufeyson, I can sense you."

Loki forced himself to stay quiet. He watched The Other walking into the corridor, slowly and cautious. His black eyes scanned the entire area, but Loki was pretty certain none could see him right now. However, this was The Other. He wasn't as foolish as the Chitauri. There was a reason he was their leader after all.

"I do not understand why you protect this realm," The Other continued to speak, knowing that Loki could hear him. He took small steps, a long, thin spear in his hands. It reminded Loki of the scepter he had been given months ago and he knew that this spear was as powerful. If only he could get his hands on it. "I do not understand why you protect Asgard. The humans care nothing for you, nor do the Æsir. Your own family cares nothing for you."

Loki swallowed heavily. He knew The Other's words were true, but that didn't mean they didn't cut his heart when he actually heard them. It was all a painful reminder of the bitter reality Loki lived in. Indeed, he had no one. Yes, he had people he could sometimes count on, but there was not one soul in this entire universe that would lay down his life for him.

Thor had dozens. Sif would probably jump into a barrel of boiling oil in order to save him. It disgusted Loki and he felt anger rise in his chest. He had but one person that would never betray him; himself. He had to look out for himself, protect himself because no one else would. Then why was he protecting Asgard in return?

This was a terrible idea, Loki knew this, but he could not help it. He stepped away from the dark corner and into the filthy yellow light. The Other stopped dead in his tracks and his gaze fell on him. None smiled victoriously. There was only a short, heavy silence.

"I'm not protecting this world," Loki said finally, "your army is destroying one of its greatest cities at this very moment and frankly, I'm not very bothered by it."

"I see," The Other said, his hand clenched around his spear, "you merely tried to save your own skin. They do say that the attack is the best defense."

"I am trying to survive," Loki said through his clenched teeth, not looking away from The Other's black eyes, "I am sure you can understand that."

"Yes," The Other replied, "but then why are you protecting Asgard? All this is unnecessary, Loki. Give us the information we want and you are a free man. They care nothing for you, they only pretend."

Loki looked at The Other stiffly. It upset him that he knew so much about him. "I know," he said, pained, "they try to keep me close. Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer. Odin knows how much damage I can cause to his realm and this – this right here is why he tried to keep me on Asgard."

"You live to defy your father." A faint smile curved the edges of his thin mouth upwards. "Has he not lied to you your entire life? He promised you a throne, but then went on to give it to Thor, the reckless and arrogant son."

Loki knew exactly what The Other was doing. He himself had told the Chitauri leader this. He was regretting that.

"You were dangling over an abyss," The Other continued, "desperately holding on for dear life, but not once did he try to stop you from letting go."

Loki averted his eyes.

"Do you not think that Odin was praying for you to fall?" The Other began to walk forward again, slowly, but confidently. "Do you not think that he secretly wished you had died that day?"

He didn't know when it had happened, but Loki felt tears sting his eyes. He quickly blinked them away. "Thor said they mourned." He didn't even know why he said that.

The Other raised his eyebrows. "And you believe him. No, you want to believe him. Tell me, Loki, what happened when Asgard learned you were still alive?"

Loki looked up again, unsure of what The Other was trying to achieve. A small voice in the back of his head told him to attack. It told him not to listen to The Other's poisonous words. He was as good at manipulating people as Loki was. However, Loki could not stop himself from answering The Other's question.

"They sent Thor to stop me."

"Yes," The Other said almost kindly, "to stop you from making this world better. They sent your brother to bring you back to Asgard. Odin wouldn't have been waiting for you, not with open arms. The Æsir know what you are; you are unpredictable so when you did finally return to your home, the Allfather locked you in a cell, but he is still surprised you manage to escape."

Loki was unable to say anything. He could only listen to The Other's cruel truth.

"And when that happened," The Other stood almost directly before Loki, "he grew so angry he beat you half to death."

His green eyes widened. He had not told him this so how did he know?

"I've seen what is on your mind," The Other explained, reading the question in Loki's stunned eyes, "when I showed you what I could give you, I saw everything that has happened to you. Odin beat you with his own bare hands and then tried to cover it up. When you returned to Asgard afterwards, he even threw you right back into a cell."

The Other began to circle around Loki whose mind was racing with all these new thoughts. There barely seemed any hostility left between the two. There was still a very potent tension in the air, but Loki had pushed all thoughts of attacking away.

"So I'll ask you again. Why in all the heavens are you still protecting Asgard?"

"I…" Loki took in a deep breath. His throat suddenly felt very dry. "I don't know."

The Other smiled victoriously.