Maelstrom Prequel: Marooned

by illmatar

Marooned takes place between the comic book's issues #7 and #8. It's the missing year between the point Lancer pulls Rodimus out of the Jabez facility and the point she gets him home. Hurt/comfort fans might like it...although par for this series there's still more H than C. MATURE FOR VIOLENCE!

7. Chapter 7

Maelstrom Chapter 7.5

Marooned: Part G

Author's note: This story is part of a LONG series called Maelstrom. It is strictly Gen. 1 - sorry, but that was all that was out when I started writing back in the late 1980's. It began as a fan-publication so the first chapters are in the form of a comic book! If you have not read the nine original Maelstrom Comics and the preceding text stories, I strongly suggest you do. This is a complex universe. They can be found at http/ illmatar. deviantart. com (I have put double spaces between the URL here or FF . Net eats the link.) The comics and art which accompanies this series are there...and believe me I am a better artist than writer.

This chapter takes place between the comic issues #7 and #8.

Most chapters of this series contain strong language and violence. Rated M for adult themes! Really! Transformers characters belong to Hasbro. Critiques adored! This scene contains strong language, violence, trauma, and sex. Rated M for adult themes!

Transformers characters belong to Hasbro. Story and OC characters are mine. Critiques adored!

Continued from Marooned: Part F

Rodimus came to. Most of his vision was obstructed by a large, slightly raspy tongue, but all her really saw was Lancer, scrambling crab-like away from him. Echoes of her thoughts – Claudia trying to teach her to shield, the notion that distance might help, and her abject terror that she would somehow taint him told him why she was so afraid. She was in so much pain it took his breath away...and now she had all of his slag to live with too.

So sorry "I'm sorry" sorry he thought/said. "I don't mean to hurt you" Not you...especially not you... She'd been through so much – he'd already known and admired her ability to endure it all – but it was so much worse than he'd imagined. Now, he didn't have to imagine. That she had now been through the Jabez lab with him...it was like Goldbug all over again. Guilt didn't even begin to describe what he felt.

"Why does this have to be is this happening?" he asked.

" It's me! The backdoor to my mind...I can't block it!" Kain said I was weak... open...asking for it...let it in...welcomed it.

"He blamed you?" Rodimus cried, furious. "You didn't invite it in – you fought with everything you had!" So young when this happened to her...so wrong to shame her over it. How could she know how to fight that way?

Lancer ignored his fury for her and focused on the fact that he'd seen her memory of Kain. "Rodimus you have to try to block me out! Corrupting you...not you...please not you... "You have to block me before it's too late!"

" I'm not sure I can!" The Matrix link...this feels a lot like the Matrix link...except for the terror. " I've got...a way into my mind too." Rodimus told her.

Lancer felt his memory curl into her mind. Disorienting – memories of his real body – his real self. Unicron...light...the voice of Optimus Prime in his mind...the whisper of the Matrix humming as it bonded with him. Not a fearful memory, even if it should have been. It had felt...comforting...to be loved by such an entity...like being held in Claudia's downy arms. Warmth and safety.

The contrast to everything they had both been remembering made her gasp and clutch the ground.

"Rodi you HAVE to try...please help me!" Don't let me in...don't let me hurt you like it hurt me!

"Lancer you won't you couldn't corrupt me! I will try to block you anything to stop you from being so afraid but you won't taint me because you aren't tainted! Not evil...angry...hurt...like me...not evil.

Lancer flipped up off the ground and loomed over him. He felt the anger...felt the rage like hot iron burning her...burning him. "You...YOUYou are in love...with me. ME?" Her fingers pierced through her palms and he felt how the pain helped her focus...how she welcomed it. Needed it.

" I...denying it is unlikely to work today, Idiot. I guess I am," he admitted.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" Lancer roared, her words and thoughts lining up nicely for a change. "Aren't you an Autobot?! Aren't you a PRIME? Aren't you supposed to oppose evil when you see it?! Aren't you supposed to know when it's staring you in the face?" Too late...maybe it's already too late! I've lost him! Her grief was like acid in his fuel lines.

" I DO! I do oppose it! I do know it and Lancer you don't qualify! I've felt your rage first hand now and it doesn't feel any different than mine! Hurt and angry, yeah sure. You have more right than anyone I've ever known! But evil? An evil person would have left me to die! An evil person wouldn't care if dumb animals suffer or if Malice is sad! An evil person wouldn't have this obsession with balancing the scales, and an evil person certainly wouldn't love me like you do!"

This last sentence took Rodimus completely by surprise even as he said it with firm conviction. He blinked. He was unsure how he knew, but there was no doubt in his mind. She tried to scream and found she couldn't, but he heard it anyway.

Then she ran, disappearing like a ghost into the trees. He knew where she was going.

Anywhere. Anywhere away from him.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * It was days later when she stumbled back to him, as desperate to find him as she had been to run. She had no clue how she even found the same spot in these woods – she had run blindly until she simply could go no further. Assassin that she was, she had made sure not to give him a trail to follow her, and had therefore given herself nothing to back-track with. It didn't matter. She had homed in on him like a scent hound – it wasn't even a search – just a straight run in his direction once she realized what he was doing...doing to himself.

Rodimus kept his promise to try to block her, and he kept his promise to keep breathing too. To his credit, the effort he was putting into blocking her was truly gargantuan. The problem being that in his...enthusiasm, he had completely forsaken little things like eating and drinking. Given that she didn't know how long they had both been out right after their minds linked, and that he'd thrown up his last meal, she feared he hadn't had any fluids in 4 to 5 days.

Their combined efforts to block each other had allowed them to keep their surface thoughts apart, and had given her the space she needed to calm down. She didn't know when the link had started, and she didn't know why she hadn't pushed him out violently like she had that telepath, but looking back she didn't think this was all that recent of a development. The fact that she hadn't even noticed astounded her, but this wasn't some violent invasion. It was gentle and familiar...comforting even. Like when the Matrix had bonded to him - it felt good. That she liked it scared her in a completely different way from the demonic possession.

Still, this wouldn't do. When she found him he was sitting exactly where she'd left him, staring into space like when Two was upon him. His body reeked of dried vomit, urine, and shit. None of it registered with him. Even her return didn't make him blink or turn his head. She called him. She shook him. She slapped him across the face. Taking his cold hand, she shocked him. Not even a blink. She took his pulse and tried to read his life-energy with her powers. There wasn't a whole lot of energy left to read and his pulse was so slow she thought at first she missed the artery with her fingertips.

"You stupid sonofabitch! I'm not worth it! I'm not worth your fucking life!" She grabbed his icy arm and threw him over her shoulder like she had the day she met him. There was a pretty good pond she'd passed not far back so she took him there and unceremoniously threw him in it – hoping to shock him awake. She stared stubbornly at him as he floated down, her fists on her hips and shaking her head in denial of the fact he wasn't about to come around for her. Her tailed lashed erratically as the seconds ticked by. Tears ran down her face.

He would do it. He was stupid, brave, loyal, and stubborn enough to just die like this because he wanted to protect her. Because that was who he was. Because he loved her.

"You fucking asshole!" she screamed, diving in after him. His leathers were saturated and almost too heavy for her to lift so she cut them off his body with her powers. Then she dragged him halfway up the bank. By this point he wasn't even breathing so she went straight into CPR. In a fairy-tale her mouth on his would have miraculously revived him, but neither that, not the shock to his heart even earned her a blink.

"You're going to make me do this aren't you?! You're go to make me go in there after you! Fuck you! If I didn't know better I'd say you were trying to blackmail me with this shit so you can have what you want! WHY DO YOU WANT ME YOU STUPID, STUPID JERK?! You think you can manipulate me by holding YOURSELF hostage?" She pounded on his chest in fury. " It's not fair! You should have more respect for me than this!"

She pulled herself up to her knees and glared at him. His hair was black with water. His skin was bluish white. He looked so very young...so peaceful...so very dead. She sobbed once...and her hand flew to her mouth to stop it. She was certain for a second she was already looking at his beautiful corpse. No...his heart still ticked slowly.

Besides. She did know better. This wasn't blackmail. This wasn't a temper tantrum to have his way. This was how Mr. Takes-it-to-Extremes did the best he could to get out of her mind. Stupid Autobot. Totally why she loved him too.

Sometimes having no choice was its own kind of freedom.

She wiped her eyes. " I am SO getting back at you for this later," she promised with sort of a smile. She lay her body along him and pressed her forehead against his cold temple, and closed her eyes. It was probably a useless gesture but it seemed right.

Then she called him.

RODI?! please, please hear me!

Nothing. It seemed like she'd entered an echoing, aching void. Maybe she was too late.

Rodimus please where are you?

Nothing.

This made her furious again. YOU'D BETTER FUCKING ANSWER ME YOU SHIT! MAKE ME COME IN HERE AFTER YOU AND THEN IGNORE ME?! I DO NOT FUCKING THINK SO!

Lancer?! He sounded so far away.

No shit Stupid!

Wha...why?

Because you're dying Doofus! I want our minds apart to keep you safe but you fucked up those plans like always!

Sorry...so sorry I can't get out! I don't want to be your next demon Lancer! She endured his memory of her possession.

I know! I'm not happy about it but you aren't hurting me Rodimus! Your mind in mine is nothing like that! Please come back to me! I want you out to protect YOU. Death is not an improvement you know!

Then she saw him, walking like a phantom out of the darkness towards her. For some stupid reason it surprised her that he was himself. A robot with bright flames, built in weaponry, and a sharp yellow spoiler along his back. Only the scale was wrong...she looked him right in the optics and saw/felt sorrow there. He must have felt her surprise because he gave her a faint shrug.

She couldn't help herself. She put her hand on his cheek as if to confirm he was there. Then she backed up when light grew between them where she touched him.

This is all kinds of wrong, she sent.

Of course it is. All this time I've been looking for someone I can respect and trust...someone who isn't mine to lead or follow...someone who honestly gets me, and who amazing as she is actually loves me ...and it's all kinds of wrong. Because why would anything ever once just go right?

I do actually love you, you know, Lancer affirmed, But that doesn't make this healthy for either of us.

I know you do. It freaks me out some. As for healthy...what part of either of us is healthy? You're a mess...I'm a mess. Maybe that's what's happening. The tattered edges of your soul are getting all tangled up in what's left of mine.

I don't know...we'll work on it. But you've got to come back around and take care of your body! You haven't been eating...you haven't been drinking. Her words came to him with a complete picture of what he looked like lying on the bank of the pool. He didn't recognize the man in the picture as himself, but he knew in full how angry and afraid she was that he would die.

OK...I didn't mean to stop taking care of myself! I didn't realize it had been so long!

I know. If you had done this on purpose I'd kill you myself, Lancer sent to him sincerely.

You know that makes no sense right? Do I love you because I'm crazy or is it you're so crazy you're lovable?

You're crazy, and you're an idiot, and there's no one else here, Lancer decreed. No chance for you then. Come back Rodi.

"Come back...come back. Come on!" Lancer cried. She shook him.

His eyes finally moved to focus on her. "C...cc..cold," he managed.

This time when she kissed him he actually noticed...although it did little other than confuse him. She glowed, and the water they were still half resting in warmed up like one of her bathtubs. She made him sit there, weakly scrubbing himself clean, while she ran back for their gear and some firewood. Back at his side a few minutes later, she re-heated his pond and put a whole jug of water in his hand. He needed neither words nor even her thoughts to tell him she would force it down him if he didn't start drinking. He drank.

In no mood to fool around with rocks or camp etiquette, she blasted a fire-pit into the soil, dumped a big armful of foliage in, and hit the whole mess with a lightning strike. The tent went up in record time too. She cut down a live tree to make a bench at the fire-side – something he knew she would have never done on a normal day.

When that was done she pulled him from the water and dried him off with her cloak...then she flash dried the fabric and wrapped it around him with practiced speed.

My "My" clothes? "clothes?" he asked.

He got an image of the pool's depths. Down "Down" there...this fucking sucks! "THERE!" You don't want them back! He got another image of the filthy mess he was when she'd thrown him in there.

You threw me in the pool and let me sink!

SPEAK! "Say it out loud Rodi! We can't keep on like this!"

The uptick in her stress was enough to silence his unease about her dumping him in and waiting to see if he would drown. She did hear him decide not to put up with being called "Takes it to Extremes" anymore.

Best pretend that never happened or they would spend all night arguing over what the other was thinking. She dragged him to the fire and put one of the blue fruits in his hand.

But... "But," he thought/said.

" It's not the fruit... It's US " it's us..." she returned. She had spent the last few days trying to find the start of it all with no success. She could think of moments when they had communicated without words going all the way back to the first Stink-beast. Eat it! Live damn you! "Just eat it Rodimus."

He obeyed, although his long empty stomach did not take kindly to it. She had the mercy to make broth out of their stored lizard jerky, and he spent the next few hours sipping it down. She wouldn't let him sleep until he had two cups of it. Hot bath and roaring fire notwithstanding, his body temperature was still low because his metabolism had so little to run on.

She helped him to bed and watched him fall immediately to sleep. She loaded up the fire on one side of him and put herself at his back. Plans to stay awake to watch him and the fire went for nothing as her exhaustion caught up with her too.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * The following morning when she woke up it wasn't morning, it was early afternoon.

She checked on him, but he seemed deeply asleep so she got up and tried to think before he woke up and made that into a show.

Her dreams had been weird...restless. Yet she realized with resignation that it wasn't the first time she'd dreamed of his world...his life. It was just the first time she realized that isn't wasn't just coming from all the stories he told her.

He wasn't going to be up to traveling for a few days, and he needed a new set of clothes. There was NO way she was going to be able to cope with the man she loved walking around naked AND being able to read her thoughts. Not with that ridiculously gorgeous body. Self-control Lancer! Find things to think about quickly!

Clothes. Right.

She rummaged through the sub-space pack and once again praised it's invaluable help. She pulled the last of the Stink-beast hide out and got to cutting.

Pants first. Priorities.

All this practice had made her quite the seamstress. She had a nice pair of roomy trousers and a vest to boot in the three hours he let her work in peace. Nice and loose. No need to measure. No need to spare the leather anymore. Nope. Less chafing likely. Yup. No possible ulterior motives either. None whatsoever.

When he woke up she fed him. When he tried to talk to her she flooded her mind with thoughts of hunting and firewood and traveling.

Talking was a problem in and of itself, even if it was about firewood.

They both were trying to keep their thoughts from leaking with frustrating degrees of success. The inconsistency was annoying, but so was any attempt to communicate. They were using their voices more than they had in a month, but "hearing" the words mentally transmitted a heartbeat before they were spoken made for an aggravating repetition that drove them both sort of crazy.

Lancer, "Lancer," What? "What are we going to do? I feel like my brain is on satellite delay with my ears." Rodimus filled her head with an image of moving lips on a screen with no sound until minutes later.

Not now! "We'll worry about it when you're stronger," Lancer said. Just get better.

Stalling...how does stalling fix this? "You're procrastinating," he accused. What else do we have to do while I get my energy back? You've got enough firewood for a month. "The camp's all set...come sit with me..." Best one so far. No wind, handy water supply, softer ground to sleep on...not even one rock in my ribs last night!

" It is sort of pretty here," she said. He could feel her straining to keep anything else away from him.

He patted the spot next to him. She hesitated and looked around.

Stop looking for excuses, "Stop..." he began.

" I heard you the first time. SPEAK damn it!" She sat down on the ground across from him.

Somehow that hurt.

"You love me," he stated. "You know I love you...and you won't sit next to me?"

She shrugged.

"Last night you kissed me," he pointed out.

"Yeah...sorry. That was a...mistake."

" It was an interesting mistake," he said.

"You were numb from head to toe. You couldn't even feel it," Lancer pointed out with a hint of fangs. " It's not an Autobot thing anyway...don't make a big deal out of it."

He glared at her reproachfully. "Maybe it isn't an Autobot thing, but I grew up on Earth Lancer. I practically lived at the Witwicky's and let me tell you, Spike and Carly have no problem with kissing in front of family...all of us Bots being family. I know what it means to them...and I know it's a big deal to you. You're right. I couldn't feel it, but I was still happy you wanted to...with me. I think this mental link thing should probably get us past the bullshit stage, don't you? "

She stood up. " If I didn't like bullshit, why would I love you? I'm going hunting." With that, she stalked out of camp.

He looked after her for a moment. He whispered to the trees she was hiding in. "No you aren't. We have enough food for a month too...and you won't kill anything unless you have to." Looking around he found nothing left to do in camp and he definitely needed a project. He looked up at the bouncing fronds around him and smiled.

Keeping focused might help, because he could tell she was going to fight him every step of the way.

When she came back just before dark, she was empty handed. He smiled to himself and pretended not to notice.

"What's that?" she asked, looking at the long, curved branch he was fiddling with.

" It's a bow. Next Tusker pack we find will get me some arrowheads too. I'm tired of not have a ranged weapon around."

"You're making a long-bow, Mr. Autobot? Wouldn't a crossbow be more...technically advanced?"

"Maybe, but this is cooler..." he smiled. He had decided to try being cheerful so he didn't have a relapse of Three and punish her for her obstinance. He pantomimed firing it even though it had no arrows and no string. "See? That looks cool."

"Cool. Right. I'm going to bed." She disappeared into the tent to avoid him this time.

" I know you like it!" he called after her.

When he finally followed her, he sighed. The wall of chattel was back. He knew why she was doing it tonight, but only then thought to wonder if she'd been using it that way all along. When had it started? The night of the first rain. The night he'd pulled her under the skins with him to keep her warm. He shook his head and crawled into the skins on his side of the tent.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * That night Lancer dreamed of Cybertron. It didn't even shock her that it felt like home. She walked on metal legs through the halls of Central, smiled at Autobot-friends who greeted her affectionately. She strolled into Rodi's office like she owned the place and he looked up from his work with a smile.

Hey Lady! What can I do for you? he asked her, that demon-grin on his face saying he knew full-well.

She told him, so he pushed the clutter on his desk aside, lifted her up onto it by the waist, and complied.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Rodimus woke the next morning to find her sitting, cross-armed, in the pool.

"What are you doing?" he asked, noting her shivering and the complete lack of steam. Why are you suffering in the cold?

" I'm having a bath! What does it look like?" Cold water...doesn't do shit... "QUIT LISTENING RODIMUS!" He got that last through his ears AND their link, although the mental stuff also came with everything she was trying to repress and hide from him.

" I'm NOT listening...I'm hearing, but I'm not trying to." You do realize that the quickest way to get my attention is to think something like "Oh God, PLEASE don't let Rodi pick up on this!" right?

Fuck you, she said and sent.

I remember ALL of my dreams Lancer. You did fuck me...last night...and it turns out a few times last week too. I thought I was just dreaming but it turns out you were there too. Did you rip up your skins again last night or just get them good and sweaty?

This time, when she blasted at him, he didn't even dodge. He just crossed his arms and waited while she turned the ground all around him into cinder and glass. You done? Apparently not. He remained motionless during the second barrage too. At his feet, the ground smoldered. Around her, the pool was steaming nicely now.

She glowered and glowed. It was an impressive effect with the steam and the horns and all that.

A camera would be great right now, he thought, finding her dangerously beautiful.

She punched the water in frustration.

"WHAT?" he cried, suddenly angry too. WHAT is the big deal? There's no part of you I haven't seen! No part of you I haven't already touched! I wiped your ass, you've wiped mine! There are no secrets here! "There's nobody here!" It's just us...you and me! Who am I going to hurt? There's just you and you don't even mind if you die. If you "corrupt" me who cares?

" I CARE!" I CARE!

Why? There's nothing I can do for you! I can't erase your pain! I can't get us off this rock! I can't make the food good for you or your wounds heal faster. Just once couldn't we find one thing, just one, to make this whole mess suck less?

What if it hurts you? What if it messes up your chance to get better? To go back to who you're supposed to be?

Who I'm supposed to be? I don't know who that guy is but if he's standing between us I'll kill him myself. Lancer, you know we're going to die here right? I'm never gonna see my people again. You'll never raid another Slaver base. We're never going back...and if I'm wrong somehow I will never be the same person I was anyway. I'm tired of fighting you all the time. Underneath is all was a sort of desperate certainty: that he really was going to die here without ever knowing what this thing between them could be.

She lowered her head like a charging bull and came up out of the pond one slow step at a time. She got right in his face and growled low under her breath.

I'm not afraid...I'm not afraid of you, Love, he sent at her...meaning so much more than her fangs. He couldn't help but think, Nice try though...the growl was a nice touch.

Eye to eye, they stood there for a few long minutes until finally she grabbed him by the shoulders and kissed him.

Their tent was maybe eight feet behind them, but they didn't make it that far.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Stop it Rodi, Lancer sent, throwing him a dirty look over her shoulder. He was trailing behind her while they walked.

The look he sent her back was pure innocence. Yeah. He was as innocent as a cat with tail-feathers hanging out of its mouth.

Not much had changed in their daily routine. Packed and ready by first light, traveling until dusk or a favorable campsite presented itself, and training along the way and before bed. The problem was that as much as Lancer defeated her mate eight times out of ten while training, he absolutely turned that around when it came to their more intimate interactions. His libido had an off switch. Hers didn't, and driving her crazy when they were hours from stopping had become his new favorite game.

You are a sadist and a shit. I'm gonna kick your ass so hard tonight, she vowed.

Oh like last night? he asked brightly. This came with a full-sensation flood of imagery. She'd knocked him down, but her final move had landed her straddling him...and suddenly they weren't sparring anymore.

She gasped, and glared at him again.

We could stop, he suggested. He presented her with several options for spending the time while stopping.

I should have known you were the evil one all along, she grumbled, even as she lingered over the ideas he was sending her. We'll never get anywhere if we stop every time you get the notion. We're just lucky I can't get pregnant or I'd have a litter by now!

Two weeks is not long enough for you to have a litter, he pointed out, catching up with her. We could try though.

Two weeks is long enough for us to have gone three times further than we have!

Uh-huh, he sent. Wouldn't want to be late for that big party they have planned for us. Having a mental link with your lover had it's advantages – he knew exactly where to put his hands.

Incorrigible, she managed. Let's go! She let her aggravation carry her feet along until they stopped to eat at mid-day. There wasn't a whole lot of food consumed that meal, and they ended up making camp right there.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * In spite of massive stalling, they eventually did get within Lancer's target range. Without a map or any stats on the world they were on, they knew they couldn't ever know precisely when they reached the equator, but using her scanner and the stars they knew they were reasonably close.

The weather was warmer, although still much cooler than the tropics on Earth, and the terrain was waxing towards hilly again. They found a river and followed it a few days until they reached a rocky cliff beside it. Lancer found a small crack in the hillside that opened up to a slightly larger chamber.

We better put a bid in on this place before someone buys it, she sent.

It's sort of tight in there, Rodimus mused dubiously.

I thought you liked sleeping on top of me? It is sort of tight though...too bad we have no means of making it bigger. Oh wait, we do! Hah! We'll have all the amenities! I have plans!

Plans included blasting a door they could actually walk through, stairs down to the river and up to the surrounding fields, and small, downward slanting holes that let in air and light, but not rain. Inside she carved out ever bigger chambers and tunnels to connect them. On the surface, she dug out a cistern with a small, slanted shaft down into the cave. She connected it to a side stream that fed into the main river and connected that with another small shaft down to the main waterway. It got them a lovely, continuously running fountain right through the cave. It fell from the ceiling of the first chamber and down to a small basin she cut into the floor before heading out to the river. It wasn't a perfect system...they still had to purify it before using it, and the drain at the top clogged with annoying regularity. Still, they had running water indoors.

She cut benches, a fire-pit and chimney, and best of all, an indoor latrine that fed directly into the river beneath them, complete with bench.

Rodi mostly hauled rocks...although he did lash together a wooden door and a rain-guard for the chimney. These worked well, although his first attempt at a raised bed didn't. It held up to their weight just fine, but their first try at sex on it snapped the leather bindings, plopping them unceremoniously on the ground. They had laughed their way to the end of things that night, and his next effort had twice as many legs and straps on it. He finished his bow, but never did get around to making any arrows. Lancer kept him occupied with other things. She even made a point of cutting a large, smooth wall for him along the back of the main chamber, and handed him a charcoal tipped stick. When he had time, especially on rainy days, he filled that wall with drawings of his friends...and hers.

Between that wall and the fire-place they had a big rock Lancer cut flat to set things on. They dubbed it "The Mantel" and among the things that got left there were Lancer's communicator and teleport belt. Lancer set the devices to alert them if anything viable came into range. Rodimus came up behind Lancer as she put them there and made sure they had juice. He rested his head on her shoulder and wrapped her up in his arms.

What are the odds that thing will sound off? he asked.

Lancer shrugged. I have no idea. Probably infinitesimally small.

Is it selfish of me to hope it never does? he asked.

Yeah... but I'm selfish too, Lancer confessed.

I miss them, Rodimus sent, indicating the drawings of his people. I miss them and I'm worried about them...but I don't miss the war.

I know, same here, but if we go back, and get you right... I will miss holding you more, she sent. She turned around and kissed him desperately.

I take it this is encouragement to make the most of the time we have? Rodimus laughed, although where she was grabbing him pretty much made that inevitable.

Oh yes it is, she answered.

What if we never get back? he wondered, pushing her up against the wall.

She bit him on the arm, Then I would like to die a very happy woman, she proclaimed. See to that, won't you?

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * They got pretty comfortable in their new "house." Tweaking it became a favorite way of killing time between other, more energetic activities.

Lancer still felt obligated to train Rodimus in the ways of assassinating enemies they never expected to see...even though her memories had pretty much taught him all she knew. They practiced religiously every day, and Lancer checked the charge on her teleporter and communicator every day too..at first. Every couple of days, they even spent an annoying afternoon practicing speaking to each other and blocking their sendings...for when they had to go home and act like normal people. For when she left him.

They were going through the motions really, and they both knew it. These worthless gestures made them feel less guilty about being out of the game. Somewhere out there her friends were hunting Slavers and hindering Sponsors. Somewhere out there the Jabez were working. Somewhere out there, Optimus Prime was running a whole planet by himself, and worrying about entirely the wrong enemies.

So they pretended to train, pretended they were still trying to get home to help, when really every day that passed turned their minds more towards a future where they had only each other to answer to. Flashbacks and nightmares became scarce inconveniences which were usually combated by love-making. She growled less and forgot to worry about corrupting him. For the first time ever, she regretted being told her powers made her infertile too. When she shared that memory with him, Rodimus was furious, and oddly disappointed. The way he saw it, it was his obligation to prove the jerk doctor who told a nurse "Well, at least this one can't breed," very wrong. The idea of making a child, here, with her, was more than appealing to him...a fact which mystified his mate.

Of the two of them, he was the most at ease with the notion of never getting home. Rodi started thinking of himself as Rodi. Not Rodimus Prime. Not even Rodimus...just Rodi. Lancer's mate. He put the title aside – not so much like throwing it away, but more like Lancer's belt on the mantle. It was there, to be dusted off occasionally, maybe even looked at or tried on for a minute, but only when he was waxing nostalgic. "Prime" was his past, not his future.

His headaches pretty much disappeared too.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Lancer was snoring..and drooling a bit too.

Rodimus grinned and took this as a sign of mission accomplished, but he wasn't ready to sleep yet. They'd been at this site for several months and as happy as he was, his mind was always restless.

He rubbed his hand gently down her back, rubbing a bit at the puckered skin along her shoulders where she had clawed herself so many times. It got tight. Sometimes it pulled a bit painfully. He was glad she seemed to have gotten past all of that. Even the eternal redness on her palms was fading. If he had his way, she'd never have a reason to put her nails into her flesh again.

Getting up silently he walked to the wall he had drawn on. It was pretty much full, but right now he was regretting that. It occurred to him, he should have tried to draw Elita next to Optimus Prime. He'd never met her, but the Matrix had shown him her face more than once. Rodi knew now how much Elita, and the loss of Elita, had shaped his partner into the Autobot Rodi knew.

"Sorry Op. I'll fix it," he promised. He looked down the wall and found the only other Autobot couple he knew. Arcee and Springer – standing there with the Wrecker's arm around his girl.

"Did you move in with her yet Springo?" Rodimus snorted. "Or are you still pretending you're not a lost cause? Lemme tell ya Buddy. You are a lost cause...don't...don't keep wasting time. OK? You aren't as safe as you think. You're so lucky. We've got one femme right now and she is so yours. Don't squander it like you have forever. You don't have forever."

He sighed and smudged Springer's picture by giving it a poke. Looking at Arcee again he laughed at himself. What a stupid crush he'd had on her. He still loved her, totally as a friend, but he knew he wasn't alone in longing for her. At least the Paradronian exodus had given some of his Autobots new options for mates, but if you weren't inclined for the male on male option then your choices were still very limited. Hey but at least the odds of finding a femme to build a life with were now only 200 to one instead of closer to 600 to one.

Cybertron remained a lonely place for most of its children. It made him sad, especially when he thought about the old, scarred veterans like Kup and Magnus who really could have used a reason to smile. He glanced up at his drawing of Magnus. He'd drawn a smile on it first but had to erase it after a day – it was wrong.

Lancer stirred, probably disturbed by his worries. He went back to her side and stroked her hair and shoulders again. She smiled in her sleep. She seemed so child-like and he felt the familiar need to protect her. He thought about their frequent fights about this attitude of his. His Lady Assassin. She never wanted him to think he should protect her. She wouldn't even let him delude himself into thinking he could. Time would get her if nothing else did.

Briefly, selfishly, he wished she'd been an Autobot, or that he'd been human-born. He hated the way she imagine their relationship if they ever got back home. Doomed. That's how she saw it, unless somehow making him a robot again was impossible. She planned to make sure the Jabez who studied him and any information they might have gleaned were utterly destroyed. Then, on the off chance she survived such a ridiculous mission on her own, she planned to find the Maelstrom.

There was some ludicrous notion in her mind that he'd be just fine and would find someone else in no time. Even a mind link with him wasn't going to disillusion her there.

Yeah, because femmes who could fall for a flash-backing, occasionally psychotic, assassin Autobot commander, who just occasionally liked to try murdering you in his sleep were lined up around the corner.

Really Love, he sent to Lancer while she dreamed, No one but you would even survive the experience of sleeping me with.

He had a brief fantasy about what it would have been like if she'd been a female Autobot he could have built a real life with, but really, he was learning to appreciate being human. He knew that between her lightning fueled metabolism and his...non-humanness... that the odds of her getting pregnant were near zero...but the idea of it intrigued him. Besides, if there was another life at stake, maybe she'd stay with him even if they did get home. He wondered then, as she so often did, why his species was reliant on Vector Sigma for that...and why the factions were activated as enemies. Maybe even the Decepticons would have been happier and less likely to make war if they had partners to ease the loneliness.

Really now...what was up with that?

He felt a ghost of a headache starting but he ignored it. It was like all of the questions Lancer had been hounding him with struck at once.

Rodimus stiffened. Before his torture these were things he just accepted, but now his cynical, calculating mind held on to the question of "why?" and began leading his imagination down dark paths he never dreamed existed. It was like it was the first time he coud really think about these questions. Maybe knowing that Vector Sigma was a Jabez construct made his worship it less. Maybe his hard-headed mate had just finally cracked through his blind trust.

Why were the Bots and Cons programmed to be enemies from the start?

Why, if they were all such warriors, did the warriors get so little done in terms of winning the war? Couldn't any of them on either side come up with a successful strategy? Or even just catch a lucky break that turned the tide? Over millions of years the odds of that were...impossible.

That was impossible.

He began quaking with rage as things suddenly fell into place with such shocking ease that he knew there was no possibility he could be wrong. There was only one common denominator for all of that. A common denominator with undeniable ties to the Jabez too.

He took a cue from Lancer and started growling in his throat.

W... What is it?! Lancer said, startled out of her sleep. She sat up confused. He was blocking her, but she hissed and started fanging in response to even the small fraction of his rage which got through. She respected the block though, and spoke. "Rodi? What's wrong?"

" I'm wrong! Everything is wrong! My whole fucking existence is wrong! All I've ever been taught! All I ever believed! It's a lie!"

"Rodi...? Let me in! What are you talking about?" Lancer said, sounding frightened. She hadn't seen him this angry in months. His eyes burned that scary green that meant Three was close.

"No. I want to talk this out. I don't want your opinion swayed by my emotions. Maybe you can see a different answer to this equation."

"What equation? Rodimus what are you talking about?"

He began numbering off on his fingers. "One -Vector Sigma and the Matrix are of Jabez design. Two - we know the Jabez hire others to do their dirty work on a regular basis, and I KNOW that it was a Quint using a Jabez designed teleporter which delivered me into their hands. Three -Vector Sigma DESIGNS the personalities of ALL Transformers. Autobots and Decepticons alike... a truth we blindly ignore. We have females, we even have legends of new sparks, but only a very few. Vector Sigma controls almost every new person who has ever been activated. Who they are...which side they will be on. It's all prescribed...and it is always, ALWAYS in balance with the other side."

He frowned and glared at her, watching her face. It was her criticisms he was voicing, just wrapped up in a new package of deliberate deceit.

After letting her wheels turn a minute he went on. "Every period of peace on Cybertron, no matter how good it seemed, ended in a new war. Sometimes some new Decepticon leader caused trouble, sometimes misunderstanding started it and both sides blamed the other. Neither side EVER had a clear advantage either. There was always enough resistance to make things difficult. The Decepticons never really crushed us and we never really subdued them. You've been bitching at me about that from the start. Your human wars come and go but at least they all END. Not ours though – it just goes on and on."

He grimaced and threw his hands up. "Does this add up to anything to you?"

"Besides the fact that you're all lousy fighters, and you need to improvise more instead of relying on the same solutions every time?" Lancer said, with a faint smile to show she wasn't ENTIRELY serious.

"There's that too! Why is that? Why is it in all these MILLIONS of years we haven't figured that out for ourselves? Even I never strayed THAT far from what was expected, and I'm supposed to be some radical, young hot-head! What's the matter with this picture?"

Lancer sat looking at him seriously, frowning in concentration. She thought about it a long time. " It seems...very unlikely that this is all just coincidence, Love. Do you think the Jabez have been manipulating events on your world like they do elsewhere? It's possible, although I don't ever remember them showing interest in Cybertron before you were taken. At most, it's been a layover for slavers."

"Not the Jabez, Lancer. Vector Sigma...although it probably got the idea from them."

"Oh..." Lancer's voice trailed off as she thought about it. She pressed her lips together, but that didn't stop a faint snarl from emerging as she went through the same seamless revelation. "You're right," she said. There was no room for doubt in her voice. "To what end though?"

"Oh, that's simple enough." Rodimus said bitterly. " I think Vector Sigma is a Jabez gizmo like the ones on the Maelstrom. Somehow it became self aware and didn't like being used. Can't blame it there. But then it gave the robots it was programming both sentience and the rebelliousness to fight off the Quints. It used my ancestors to free itself and then enslaved us instead of returning the favor. It manufactured enough lies and conflicting personalities to keep Cybertron in such chaos that other races were afraid to go there until recently. We think we are a living shield, Lancer! I think our wars, our pain, and our very lives are merely to make it nearly impossible for anyone, Quints and Jabez especially, to get to Vector Sigma!"

He turned away from her and hunched down, hugging his knees. " It was all for nothing. All those lives that were lost, all those eons of war, famine, and hatred - all for nothing." He slammed his fist sideways into the stone wall.

Forgetting to speak, he went on. Great Cybertron! I can't process all of this. Just thinking about how Optimus suffered is too much! I can't even blame the Decepticons! They didn't choose their personalities anymore than I did! We're all just little puppets dancing to the tune of whichever one of our "masters" happens to have the strings at the moment. At least the Jabez are honest about it and kill off your personality first! At least Converts don't go around deluding themselves that they're real people with free will.

Rodimus! Is that what your thinking? That you aren't a real person? Of COURSE you're real! You've just been used in yet another disgusting fashion! That doesn't reflect on you!

Nothing I was ever taught was valid! Lancer, even the Matrix is Jabez design!

Rodimus! That doesn't cheapen what it is OR what you and the Autobots are! That VALIDATES what you are! The fact that your people can take a Jabez manufactured memory crystal and shape it into such a powerful positive force... is nothing short of miraculous! The Jabez may have thousands of those things, but I guarantee none of them would have affected Unicron in the slightest! What would they do? Spout data at him? What about the hate plague? Do you think the memory crystals on the Maelstrom would cure that? They can't heal a paper cut! So, it didn't start off as a gift from heaven. So what? The fact is not only were your people CAPABLE of making it into something more, they DID make it into something more. Love, that is NOT the work of a race of puppets."

But... Rodimus sent, "We've been under its delusions for so long.

You aren't anymore. More proof that you're more than just a pawn in some sick game, Love! Maybe Vector Sigma has been using your kind, but you are still capable of growth and change, and you sir, have just outgrown its control.

Rodimus smiled a little uncertainly, and Lancer sighed, trying to dispel the last of his doubts.

I wish you had been there with that Matrix of yours when I was possessed. I have a feeling things would have gone differently.

Rodimus gathered her to him and held her protectively. For once, she didn't challenge his need to do so and leaned into him. He rested his chin on the top of her head. You are so wise sometimes, he told her.

No. she answered, I just know a good thing when I see it.

"Me too, " he said huskily, staring at her.

"No, " she tried to say, but he cut her off with a gentle kiss - cupping her chin with his fingertips. With his other hand, he grasped her waist and drew her closer.

" I love you," he whispered.

"And I love you, you silly Autobot," Lancer said with a smile. But sometimes you think too much. She then saw to it that not only was he incapable of thinking at all for a while, but that when she fell back to snoring he was right there with her.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Weeks turned into months. Lancer took to wearing her hair down, or at most in a simple pony-tail. She still let Rodi brush it for her though. They went so far as to plant a small garden with edible flora and were discussing fencing in a herd of "cows." Training sessions still took place faithfully every day, but had become more of an enjoyable form of exercise and a perverse form of fore-play. Winner take all...losers were never weepers though. Sometimes ties were settled right during the melee. Sometimes it got hard to tell when the sparring ended or the love-making began when the demon and Three got involved.

Less faithful was Lancer's attention to the batteries on her equipment. Sometimes, she let them sit a few days before checking them. It made her feel guilty, so she tried to keep up on it, but sometimes life was distracting.

The morning they lost each other she did manage to charge things. If she hadn't she might have grown old on Asylum.

It was raining, which meant most chores were canceled and getting dressed was too. The damp air was chilly. She did her charging up job and crawled eagerly back into bed. Not at all chilly was the bed. She let her mate pour himself into her...body, mind, and soul. They shared the feedback of what they were doing to each other back and forth along their link until it was impossible to distinguish where he ended and she began.

The squeal of static and strange voices that cut into their home panicked them both.

They both jumped to their feet in alarm at the noise – Rodimus had his dagger. Lancer glowed. Then they realized what they were hearing – Lancer's communicator. Somewhere, there was a ship in range. Her teleport belt went off seconds later. Jump point confirmed.

Rodimus reached for Lancer's hand but she pulled back - straightening and staring at the belt with a white-eyed glare. Her face was set and emotionless.

Rodimus grimaced, snatched the belt from the rock, and glared at it. His arm lifted as if to dash it to the ground and then froze, staring at the drawings of his friends. His eyes gleamed brightly with unshed tears - and then he lowered his arm and his gaze. When he lifted them again to meet Lancer's eyes his face was as cold and set as hers. They stood facing each other - the Prime and the assassin. It was Lancer who turned away first. She started packing, but there wasn't all that much to take.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * They listened in on the communicator for a while. Lancer's early guess that this was a previously used jump point for the Jabez had been only too prophetic. From what they could tell from the somewhat garbled signals they were hearing, the ship on Asylum was a mineral miner and freighter...there to collect rare metals for Conversion chips, and deliver a shipment of low level Converts for the processing plant.

"Oh I don't think so," Lancer growled.

Is talking the best choice before a mission? Rodimus asked. They won't hear us this way.

The assassin didn't even acknowledge she heard him by shaking her head. He sighed and asked her again out loud. "Wouldn't it be better to use the link?"

"What link?" she asked. "Come on. We'll need to wrap the belt around us both."

"We're going in blind," he pointed out.

"Better blind than out of range. We've got to move before they do," she growled.

He stepped into her arms and she activated the mech as soon as he was clipped in.

In one sickening instant, their comfortable home was gone and they found themselves in the corridors of an old, ugly work ship. The halls were tight. Pipes and gauges spewed data, steam, and noise. Everywhere moving, banging equipment lined the ceilings and halls. It was dirty, it was maze-like, and it was dark.

It was an assassin's dream come true.

A Nebulan in a work suit came around the corner so Lancer leapt up to cling to the pipes along the ceiling. Rodimus just found a crevasse between two instrument panels to press himself into. The worker passed Rodimus first without so much as glancing his way. The Autobot stepped out silently and finally became an assassin in truth, plunging one of Lancer's needle-knives up under the alien's chin from behind. Rodimus wasn't as certain of Nebulan anatomy as he was of human, so he made sure to stir the blade around the skull a bit before withdrawing.

Most of him was reeling from shock that they were here...that within the space of an hour he had gone from making love to his mate to killing a sentient being. The simple future he'd imagined had warped back into war, blood, and death. To say he was angry about it was an absolute failure of language. Another part of him was dismayed about how easy it all was to kill this person. Easy physically. Easy emotionally. Autobots shouldn't find this stuff possible...let alone easy. "Three" found it more than easy. Three wished they weren't in such a hurry. Someone needed to pay for messing up his day.

Lancer dropped down like a panther in front of him. She looked him up and down, noting the ultra-green eyes and the way he held his dagger so very tightly. Green goo from the Nebulan dripped off its tip.

"Wipe it off," she whispered. He complied, never taking his eyes off her.

There were only six other crew members on the ship since the mining operations were mostly automated. None of them even knew they had company, except the Captain. Rodimus had a few questions for the Captain. Lancer left him to it while she went to the cargo hold and drew the life-energy out of the CVs there. She could hear the Captain's screams all the way down in the hold.

She wondered if the man appreciated Rodi's artistic side as much as she did.

They waited until they reached orbit to dump the bodies. They didn't want to mess up Asylum with trash. The fact that the navigation system named the planet Asivia 3 did nothing to change how they thought of the place. They reprogrammed the destination in the nav-computer.

Next stop: Cybertron.

Continued in comic issue Maelstrom 8