Much love to my usual suspects.
My best friend, Tyler Crowley, had a reputation for throwing epic parties whenever his parents went out of town and New Year's Eve, 1992, was no exception. Kids from both Forks High and nearby Quillayute Valley School would no doubt be in attendance. Tyler lived with his parents and sister in a sprawling, six bedroom house situated 15 minutes outside of town. That was key to a great party - no neighbors to call in noise complaints.
When I arrived, the driveway was already littered with cars so I double parked my beat up Volvo wagon at the end of the drive, boxing in another car. I stuffed my hands deep into my jacket pockets and trudged up to the house, head down to ward off the biting cold. The pounding bass greeted me before any of my friends did, and I knew the party was already in full swing. There wasn't any point in knocking so I walked right in.
Intermixed with some of the kids I recognized from Forks High were a fair number of strange faces. Most everyone seemed to know me, though, which wasn't usual. I was captain of the football team, and that fact alone made me popular. People clapped me on the back and gave high-fives as I slid between bumping and grinding bodies on the makeshift dance floor in the living room.
I found Tyler in the kitchen, already hammered. He thrust a red Solo cup into my hands, sloshing the amber liquid all over my brand new, bought-for-the-occasion, blue polo shirt.
"Fuck, Ty." I stepped backwards, crushing someone's toes as I did. I didn't bother apologizing.
"Sorry, bud," Tyler yelled above the music. "Drink up, you've got some catching up to do. I'm already drunk."
"Ya think?" I laughed as I took a sip. Just as I thought - cheap beer. He had awesome parties but the beer was always shit. Ty tipped my cup back, forcing me to down the entire thing, much of it dribbling down my chin. In the time it took me to wipe the excess from my face, my cup was refilled. Within minutes I'd thrown back two cups of beer and two shots of something called a kamikazi. I wasn't much of a drinker, for the simple fact that Coach would hand me my ass if I ever showed up to practice with a hangover or did anything to jeopardize playing ball in general. But hell, it was winter break and I deserved to cut loose every once in a while.
I was a pretty straight-laced, goal-orientated student. I held a perfect GPA for five years straight. When I wasn't playing football, I volunteered at the hospital where my dad was chief surgeon, and once a month wrote for the school newspaper. All of my hard work wasn't for naught - I had dreams of escaping soggy dead-end Forks. Plans to trade the dismal grey skies of Washington for southern California, where sunshine drenched the earth instead of rain. My guidance counselor assured me if I kept my GPA up, a full scholarship to USC was mine. There was no way I was going to screw that up. My future consisted of football, frat parties, beach bonfires, and hot sorority girls. I couldn't wait to graduate high school, leave Forks behind, and live the dream!
The decision I made to go to that party changed everything.
After my second shot, I was feeling pretty good. I made my way to the living room, holding my coveted plastic cup above my head to minimize spillage. The couches and loveseat were already occupied with people 'talking', which was more like yelling above the music, and couples making out. I spied Ben Cheney with his tongue rammed down the throat of my ex-girlfriend, Angela Weber, head cheerleader. Let's just say she was way out of his league. I snorted, thinking about the regrets she'd have in the morning, and kept moving through the party-goers.
The sea of bodies nudged me into the epicenter of a group of hotties - thank you, Universe. Soon, I was sandwiched between two girls I didn't recognize, doing some dirty dancing and singing at the top of my lungs. If I didn't know the words I made them up. No one cared. Somehow my cup was always full, even though there were a few of us drinking from it. The beat of the music coursed through my veins as freely as the alcohol.
At midnight we counted down in unison with Dick Clark, but before I could yell 'Happy New Year!', some girl double fisted my shirt and kissed me full on the lips. Her tongue snaked into my mouth and I did anything but protest. Still holding the red Solo cup, my free hand found a boob. Everyone else faded away. Thanks to the alcohol, I didn't give a shit who was watching. It was just me and her, our tongues sloppy, hands greedy. I'd always been big on kissing but, fuck, kissing a chick with a tongue ring quickly became my newest obsession. It was a long while before we came up for air.
The girl I'd been tongue wrestling with wasn't my usual 'blonde, blue-eyed, with a nice rack' type. The petite brunette had cropped, spiky hair, heavy black eye make-up with matching dark lips, and a nose ring to complement the tongue piercing I was so fond of.
She stole the beer from me, chugged what was left, and set the cup down on a nearby table. Coal-colored eyes locked on mine as she tucked her hand into the waistband of my jeans and tugged me forward. We were back to making out before we we made it to a bedroom down the hall. She kicked the door shut with one high-heel clad foot and then we were in immediate competition to see who could remove their clothes the fastest. I think we both won.
I fumbled for my wallet, searching for a condom. Goth girl assured me she was on the pill. Foolishly, I didn't pursue it further.
We tumbled onto the bed where she sucked my dick, I sucked her tits, and then we fucked, on top of a bunch of jackets. It was fast and frantic, leaving us both sweaty and panting. It wasn't my first time having sex, but it was the first time I fucked a girl whose name I didn't even know.
Still on top of her, I grinned as I introduced myself. "I'm Edward, by the way."
"Ally. Can you get off me?" She didn't smile.
"Right, sorry." I rolled off her. She mumbled her thanks and swung her feet over the side of the bed. Casually she stretched her arms above her head and I could see the bump of each vertebrae down her back to her bare ass. She turned her head and looked at me.
"Can you pass my shirt?"
"Oh, sure." Stunned by her nonchalant attitude, I located her shirt and mine and we both got dressed. The only sound was the repeating bass softly reverberating against the bedroom walls. It was weird - us not talking. As I shrugged into my shirt I was trying to figure out what to say when she spoke first.
"Okay, see ya." Ally gave a small wave and left the room as I was pulling my pants on.
"Uh, bye?" My words were met with a closed door. I sat down on the bed and scratched my head. It was bizarre to have a chick just up and leave right after doing the deed but maybe that was normal protocol after a quickie with a stranger?
I left the bedroom, apologizing to the coats we'd defiled. Briefly, I looked around for Ally but couldn't spot her in the mass of partyers. Tyler found me, though, and I was roped into a drinking game called 'Quarters', which I apparently sucked at. That's pretty much all I remember besides the fact I nursed a wicked hangover the following morning.
Back at school the following week I asked Tyler if he knew much about Ally. We were jogging around the gym as part of our PE warm-up.
"Who?"
"You know, the goth chick with the nose ring at your New Years party?"
He shook his head. "I dunno. Don't remember much from that night. Maybe it was one of my sister's friends from Quillayute? Why? You got the hots for her?
I snorted. "Nah, she was a great fuck, is all."
Ty quirked his eyebrow. "No shit."
Seth caught up to us, falling into step. "Who's a great fuck?"
"Some girl from Quillayute." Tyler answered for me and I rolled my eyes. Seth always had his nose into everyone else's business. Biggest gossip in the school. The last thing I wanted was for him to know anything.
"My cousin goes there, do you want me to ask around for ya?"
"Nah, it's fine. I was just curious."
Coach called us over to start some drills, so Ally was forgotten once again.
About eight weeks later, rumors started flying around our school. It began like the hushed buzzing of power lines overhead and grew increasingly louder the more I listened to what was being said. 'Someone' at Quillayute was pregnant - big news for our small town. I started freaking out because, you know, the no condom thing. What if the rumor wasn't a rumor? What if Ally was the pregnant kid from Quillayute everyone had been gossiping about? Fuck! If anyone knew anything it was Seth. I had to talk to him.
"Hey, Seth." I caught up to him at lunch one day. I glanced around at his friends. "Can I talk to you privately for a sec?"
Despite the rain he followed me outside, both of us pulling our hoodies over our heads to stay dry.
"What's up?"
I stuffed my hands into the pockets of my jeans. "That rumor that's going around, about the girl at Quillayute - you know anything about that?"
Seth shrugged. "I don't know the girls name but my cousin heard it from her best friend who heard it firsthand from a sister of the cousin to the girl involved."
I shook my head, not quite following.
"Why you asking?" He asked with a smirk. "You know something about this?"
I rolled my eyes. "Nah, just curious."
"Right."
We parted ways but by the end of the day my name was linked with the illicit baby. Seth - that fucker! Within a few days, there was better gossip going around about a possible affair between two teachers. Cost me fifty bucks to have Seth start that one. The rumor was far fetched but at least it stopped people from talking about me.
I thought the whole stupid thing was behind me. I was wrong.
On a dreary day in early March I pulled into the parking lot at school. As soon as I got out of my car I could feel all eyes on me. Groups of people whispering behind their hands, some stealing furtive glances, most outright staring. I wanted to cower away, ditch school for the day but instead I hitched my backpack over one shoulder and walked toward the entrance, head high acting as though I couldn't hear the whispers as I passed. I'd have to talk to Seth, he wasn't upholding up his end of our bargain of keeping my name out of the mud.
And then I saw her- Ally.
"We need to talk." She turned and I followed, past the gawking, gossiping people I called friends.
At the far edge of the parking lot where the woods bordered the school she stopped and faced me.
"I'm late."
"Well, yeah, I'm probably going to be late for class now, too," I said as the bell rang.
Ally punched my arm. "No, dumb ass, my period is late." Her eyes, narrowed slits, glared at me.
I glanced around to make sure we were alone and lowered my voice to a growl. "What are you saying? You're not pregnant, are you?"
What a joke. I mean we had sex once. One time. Was that even possible?
"Maybe. Probably. But, yeah, I'm pretty sure I am."
"I thought you were on the pill?"
She shrugged. "Maybe I missed one or two."
"Are you fucking kidding me? Have you taken a test?"
She shook her head.
"Why the hell not?"
"Sure, Edward, I'll just walk into the pharmacy on Main Street and buy a pregnancy test. No one would ever find out." She rolled her eyes at me and I understood. Forks was small and like I said, folks liked to gossip. It wasn't like there was shit else to do. Just one more reason I couldn't wait to get out of here and actually experience more life than what this backwoods town had to offer.
I grabbed her arm and escorted her to my car. Her legs couldn't keep up with my long stride so she jogged along beside me.
"Get in. We're going on a field trip."
I drove to Port Angeles, an hour away, to find a place to buy a pregnancy test. We sat in silence during the drive, which seemed to last forever. Ally stared out the window while I kept my eyes on the road and tried to swallow the bile that was creeping its way up my throat. The only sound was the wipers- swish, swish, swishing the rain away.
I pulled into the first gas station I saw and handed Ally twenty bucks - the least I could do was pay for the thing. A few minutes later she came out of the store, bathroom key in hand. I sat in the car drumming my fingers on the steering wheel while I waited. And waited. She took fucking forever. How long did it take to piss on a little stick, anyway?
I'd always been good at reading people but Ally was completely stone faced when she got back into the car. She buckled up, and still refused to look at me. I wanted to yell at her to just tell me already even though intuitively I already knew the result. When I thought I couldn't stand it another minute, she finally spoke.
"It's positive," she said in a monotone voice. I don't know why but I asked for proof- an asshole move. With a look of disgust she reached into her backpack and handed me the white stick with the blue cap. The plus sign was like a slap in the face.
The ride back home was a blur. Obscured evergreens rushed past the side windows, rain pelted the windshield. I cut corners on the winding highway going as fast as my beat up car could go. Ally gripped the sides of her seat and asked me to slow down. I shook my head, trying to clear the fog that boxed me in, before easing up on the gas as we approached Forks.
I drove 15 miles to La Push beach parking lot where I knew the wet weather would keep everyone away so Ally and I could be alone. I cut the engine.
"Now what? What are we supposed to do?" I asked.
"I'm not sure. I don't think I could have an abortion - it scares me."
"And having a kid doesn't?" I snorted.
Ally shrugged. "Plus they're like $500."
"Don't worry about the money. I'd find a way to pay for it. I can bullshit my parents about needing the money for something or other."
"And they'd just give it to you?" Ally sounded unconvinced.
"Probably. What about adoption?"
She wrinkled her nose. "What if it went to asshole parents?"
What if we were the asshole parents, I wondered.
"Well then what?" I asked.
"What if we keep it?"
We. What if we keep it. Those two little letters - w and e - jabbed into my gut. I'd fucked up just as much as she had. I dragged my hands through my hair.
"Well?" She looked at me.
"I'd guess we'll figure this shit out."
Silence stretched between us. An uncertain pause, much like our future.
"So what do we do now?"
I looked at her blankly. "I have no fucking idea." I rolled my window down. It felt like I was suffocating, panic pulling me under. A baby? Fuck. I didn't even know the girl next to me, and we were going to have a kid together?
"Ally?"
"Huh?"
"What's your last name?"
"Brandon. Why?"
"Just 'cause. Do you have a middle name?"
She turned to me, one eyebrow raised and a confused look on her face. "What?"
"Do you have a middle name?" I repeated.
"Does it matter?"
"Not really, but if we're going to have a kid together I should probably know something about you - besides the fact you have a tongue ring."
"My full name is Mary Alice Brandon. I prefer Ally."
I stuck my hand out to her. "Edward Anthony Cullen."
"AKA Baby Daddy."
I groaned, my hands scrubbed my face. "Fuck. This is nuts. We're nuts."
"My dad's going to kill you."
"Not unless mine murders me first." That I was certain of.
Two days later, I was standing in the kitchen at Ally's house. Mr. Brandon sat at the head of the table, dressed in a dark suit, eyebrows furrowed. With his back straight and shoulders squared, I lost the confidence I'd had walking into the discussion.
On the wall directly behind him was a huge crucifix. Great, her parents were the ultra religious type - I was a dead man. Mrs. Brandon sat meekly beside him, eyes downcast, hands placed in her lap. She had dark circles under her eyes and a pale, drawn complexion. Her hair was pulled back into a tight knot, and she wore a long-sleeved black dress, with a silver cross dangling on a chain around her neck. Her meekness was such a stark contrast from Ally-with her spiked jet black hair, ripped tights under a denim jean skirt and a ratty concert tee shirt.
Ally remained standing, directly opposite her father. She was so short that, in her position, she was eye to eye with him even though he was sitting down. I stood behind her, waiting for her to introduce me. She didn't, opting to dive right into the matter at hand. I was shocked at her bluntness.
"I'm pregnant."
I watched as rage quickly crept up Mr. Brandon's body, stiffening his back further as though a steel rod had replaced his spine. His hands clenched until his knuckles were white with tension. The fury reddened his neck, jaw, and cheeks. There was a vein throbbing on his left temple that I couldn't take my eyes off of. I wouldn't have been surprised if he suffered a brain aneurism right then.
Mrs. Brandon pulled a rosary from her pocket and with eyes squeezed shut she fingered the amber beads. Mutterings of 'hail Mary, full of grace' were quickly being prayed.
"Mary Alice! What have you done?" Mr. Brandon demanded of his daughter. She didn't flinched.
"It's Ally, Dad, remember? Ally."
He shook his head. "Child, you were named after the Virgin Mary, mother of Jesus Christ, our Lord." His hand drew a cross over his chest.
"Well, let me assure you this was no immaculate conception; I ain't no virgin and he certainly isn't God." Ally retorted with a snort and a smug look of defiance on her face. There were more prayers offered up by Mrs. Brandon.
"Let me explain—" I was immediately cut off by Mr. Brandon with a finger pointed sternly in my direction.
"You will not speak until spoken to."
"I just want to explain—"
"Explain what? That you took advantage of my daughter and impregnated her with your demon spawn?"
"Whoa! Hang on a sec—" Before I could continue, Ally took a step forward to confront her father further, hands planted on her hips.
"Perhaps he didn't take advantage of me. Maybe I took advantage of him."
In hindsight, that was the moment I should have realized that everything- the whole one night stand, "I'm on the pill", and subsequently the baby, were a ploy for Ally to hurt her parents, a carefully orchestrated ploy. I was merely a casualty of their war and now, so was the baby. Looking back, I wouldn't put it past her.
"Avé María, grátia pléna, Dóminus técum. Benedícta tu in muliéribus, et benedíctus frúctus véntris túi, Iésus." Mrs. Brandon muttered louder.
Ally ignored her mother and continued. "And maybe I liked it - a lot. Maybe I wanted him to fuck me harder—"
"Get. Out. Of. My. House!" Mr. Brandon's fist slammed onto the tabletop with such force the tea cup clanked against its saucer, spilling liquid over the white lace table cloth.
"Fine by me!" Ally yelled back. "I hate you!"
Mrs. Brandon said nothing as father and daughter screamed at each other. Ally stormed out of the kitchen and I followed. There was no way I wanted to be left alone with her livid father.
Down the hall from the kitchen was Ally's bedroom. She tossed a duffel bag at me and barked for me to throw everything I could from her dresser drawers into it.
"I'm sure he's just mad. Once he calms down—"
Ally snorted. "You don't know my dad. He wanted to send me away to reform school when I was 14 because I refused to repent for my sins. Know what my sin was? Reading Cosmo magazine, which he deemed pornographic. He's wanted me gone for a long time. Whatever. It'll be fine."
"Where are you going to go? It's not just you now, Ally. You have the baby to consider."
Ally brushed my comment off and stomped to the front door, leaving me no choice but to follow. She threw her bags, three of them which held all her worldly possessions, into the back of my car and we drove to my house in silence. I had no idea how I was going to tell my parents about the pregnancy but I doubted it could go worse than that.