"How in the nine realms are you supposed to potty train a damned kitten? It's a kitten! It won't listen to me!"
"Well," said Darcy, shifting her cellphone to her other ear, "Have you tried the usual threats? You know, a curse upon your livestock, banishment from this realm in sight of gods and men, that sort of thing?"
Loki's sigh was so loud Darcy half-imagined she could feel a gust of wind against her neck - although, knowing Loki, that wasn't too unlikely. "Amusing. But how does one train a cat to conduct its business in the litter box? How? This wretched creature has a mind of its own!"
"Well, duh. I couldn't just get you a dog. They're too nice. Cats hate everybody. Korl - "
"Kolr."
" - is good for you. And shut up, how am I supposed to pronounce that right on my first try anyway?"
"It is hardly your first try. I have had the cat for a week and you have alternated between the mispronunciations of Coal and Korl. I'm beginning to wonder if you're doing it on purpose."
Darcy rolled her eyes, even though he couldn't see. "Just, I dunno, Google it or something."
Loki was silent for a moment. "Google it. You expect me to use Google?"
"Well, if you're so smart, why don't you figure it out yourself? Oh, that's right, 'cos you can't. So stop being a baby and Google that shit. Jesus."
"No, no," he said mildly, "Just Loki - oh, not again! He's urinating on the carpet! This is the eighth time"
"Just pick him up and move him to the litter box then!"
"I will not be putting my hand anywhere near that thing, not while it's relieving itself."
"Stop whining and do something about it!" Darcy thought she heard the faint sound of a snap, and then Loki breathed a sigh of relief.
"Problem solved."
"With magic?"
"What do you think?"
Darcy frowned. "Dude, if I come over there and you feed me kitty-cat-stew, I'm going to cut your balls off and feed them to you."
"How charming," he replied, sounding oddly delighted, "And Jane wonders why you haven't any suitors.