Author's Note: Hello lovelies! I thought I'd give you the next chapter right away, after the beauty that was Blame It On the Alcohol. Just to warn you, this chapter is probably the most graphic I've ever written (although it's still not that bad) and I blame the body shots from last night. Anyway, I hope you enjoy, and, as always, I love your reviews, they make me so happy!
Santana looked up from the contract she was reading at the light knock on the door to her office.
"Come in!" She yelled. Her assistant popped her head in the door.
"Quinn Fabray-Scott is here. You two had lunch plans?"
"Shit, I forgot. Send her in." Quinn walked through the door. She was in a low cut flower print dress that fell just above her knees and it looked like she just got her hair done; it hung in perfect curls and a clip kept it out of her face. She was wearing strappy sandals that must have been four inches high.
"Damn, Q, are we going somewhere fancy? Or did you just get dressed up for me, because I hate to break it to you, but I'm happily married," Santana smirked, pointing at her ring finger. Quinn rolled her eyes.
"I was your maid-of-honor, remember?"
"Details…seriously though, Q, why are you so dressed up? Is Justin home or something?" Santana asked as she got up from her desk and gabbed her purse.
"Honestly, I'm not dressed up for any reason. Sometimes a girl just likes to look good, you know? I'm taking the girls on a sleepover, and then Rach is coming over to get ready for her date with Sarah. Wild plans, huh?"
"Their date is tonight?" Santana asked as they walked down the hall towards the elevator. Quinn just nodded. "Speaking of…" Sarah approached the two women, and joined them waiting for the elevator.
"Hey Santana, Quinn!" Sarah said, excitement clear in her voice.
"Sarah," Quinn said, not even looking up to acknowledge her as the three women walked into the elevator.
"I hear the big date is tonight?" Santana said, smirking. "Where are you guys going to go?" Sarah smiled.
"I was thinking Elf, or Cru…I'm picking up lunch at Real Food Daily right now, and as much as I love it, I don't know if I could eat it twice in one day," Sarah laughed.
"You're a vegan too, right?" Santana asked.
"Yeah," Sarah said. Thankfully the elevator doors opened so Santana didn't have to make anymore small talk.
"Well, enjoy your lunch!" Santana said as they walked in opposite directions toward their cars. Quinn smirked as Santana opened the car door for her.
"You've turned into such a lesbian, Santana," Quinn said.
"What are you talking about?"
"Aviator sunglasses. Power suit. You just opened my car door for me."
"I have to wear suits for work, it's polite to open doors for people, and I look hot in aviators." Quinn rolled her eyes. They sat in silence for awhile, enjoying the drive on a pretty Los Angeles day.
"I like convertibles," Quinn said simply as they drove down Sunset. Santana nodded. "What inspired you to bring the beloved Beemer out again? I don't think I've seen you in anything other than your 'mom' SUV since the babies were born…" Santana rolled her eyes.
"It's a beautiful day, Q, and it's like you said about dressing up today…sometimes a girl needs to ditch the SUV and take out the sexy BMW of her youth." Santana shrugged.
"Such a lesbian," Quinn laughed. Santana scowled at her.
"Although…the things B and I did in this car back in the day…"
"Enough!" Quinn said. "I do not want to be regaled with tales of your sex life anymore now than I did when you bought this car at 25."
"Just sayin…"
"So…when does Justin get home next?" Santana asked between bites at lunch.
"No idea…I was hoping for Labor Day, but it looks like that's not going to happen…" They sat in silence for awhile, eating their food. "So, how's Brittany's new gig going?" Quinn asked, happy to change the subject.
"Good, I think. It's a short-term thing, but I think she's happy to be choreographing and dancing again. 21 months is a long time for her to not be dancing." Quinn nodded. They ate in silence again.
"What are you doing for Labor Day weekend?" Quinn asked Santana.
"I don't know, I hadn't really thought about it."
"Well, Rachel and I were thinking that it would be fun if the four of us went up to my place in Big Bear." Quinn said. It took all of Santana's willpower not to roll her eyes, smirk, or worse, do both at the same time. "I think we all deserve a vacation from our children…"
"That's exactly how I want to spend my three day weekend…in a secluded cabin in the woods with Berry."
"One, Santana, you know it's not a cabin, it's a three bedroom house on a lake with a hot tub. Two, don't let your pretend hatred for Rachel keep you from enjoying a lovely weekend getaway…" Santana rolled her eyes.
"My Aunt Rita did offer to take the kids for us if we needed a getaway…" Santana thought out loud.
"And you and Britt haven't been up there in forever. We've put a lot of work into it. It would be really fun."
"Let me talk to Britt and Rita about it, and we'll see, Q."
They were back in Santana's office to double check Santana's calendar and make sure she was free Labor Day weekend.
"It looks like it will work out, Q, I just have to talk to Brittany and Rita. I'll give you a call tonight or tomorrow."
"Sounds good, San," Quinn said as she headed out the door. Just as she was about to leave she popped her head back in, "Oh, and San?" Quinn asked. Santana looked up from the email she was reading. "Nice duck hair clip." Quinn smirked and Santana turned red, as Quinn shut the door.
"Dammit, Brittany," Santana said to herself as she took the duck clip out of her hair.
SanyBear:
Dammit, Britt! I forgot
about the duck clip in
my hair and I've been
wearing it all day!
Sent: Thursday, August 17, 2:15pm
Wifey:
:) But ducky looks so
cute in your hair, San.
I bet everyone at work
agrees.
Sent: Thursday, August 17, 2:20pm
"Rachel. Literally everything you've tried on so far looks exactly the same to me." Quinn said as Rachel put on her third dress.
"But which one do you like the most?" Rachel said.
"You don't understand. I can't differentiate between them. They look exactly the same."
"I hate you."
"No you don't." Quinn smirked as she said this, noting Rachel's small smile. "Look, we've narrowed it down to three identical outfits, why don't I do your hair and then you can go home, since you told her to pick you up at your place." Rachel simply nodded. Quinn began to flat iron her hair.
"I thought I was going to wear it in curls tonight?" Rachel asked as Quinn gently ran the iron through her hair.
"You are. But since you did such a poor job blow drying your hair, it's not quite straight, and I can't give you fake, perfect curls without giving you fake, straight hair, first." Quinn said smiling. They sat in silence while Quinn set about making her hair look perfect.
"It's so weird being back at work," Brittany said as she shut the door to the babies' room. "I'm having trouble getting used to it."
"Rough day?" Santana asked, grabbing on to her wife's hand as they walked into the living room.
"No, my day was fine, it's just still adjusting." They settled into the couch. Santana turned on the TV, leaning forward, and Brittany leaned back with her knees to her chest, trailing patterns on Santana's back.
"I had lunch with Q today," Santana said, after they gave up on the television.
"Oh yeah, how did that go?" Brittany asked.
"It was nice…she was super dressed up, which was weird." Brittany simply nodded. "She invited us to go to Big Bear for Labor Day weekend with her and Rachel," Santana said casually. Santana groaned internally as she saw her wife's eyes light up.
"We have to go!" Brittany said excitedly. "We have to go! We seriously have to go, San!" She clapped her hands and bounced up and down on the couch.
"Do you really want to spend three whole days with Berry? Plus, I'm not sure we should be encouraging this…unusual…friendship they have at the moment." Brittany began to pout. "Please don't do that, babe. I just want you to really think about it. Plus, we'd be apart from Nico and Olivia for three whole days."
"The best times always happen in Big Bear." Brittany said. Santana raised her eyebrow. "Remember the first time we went, right after Justin and Quinn bought their house? The last night we were there we got drunk and decided to do a skinny-dipping polar bear swim? That was super fun."
"And then you got mad at Justin because there were no actual Polar Bears in the lake. He told you that you were the Polar Bear and so you chased him down, all the way into the supposedly empty neighbor's house where you both were arrested for breaking and entering, indecent exposure, and public drunkenness?"
"We were never actually charged with anything," Brittany said meekly. "And we got to see Quinn's boobs…"
"Not really helping your case here, Britt."
"Okay, how about when the two of us went up right after we got engaged? In the hot tub…" Santana smirked.
"That was a good night," Santana said, fondly.
"That was an amazing night, San…" They both sat in silence, reminiscing. "Or a few years ago when Justin became obsessed with making the perfect Mojito and after three pitchers Quinn wanted us to have a foursome to consummate our friendship relationship…"
"Okay, so not helping, Britt. You do remember that we would be going with Berry this time?"
"You didn't let me finish! You said that no one gets to touch your wife except you, and then you two wrestled about it!" A small smile formed on Santana's lips.
"I totally kicked her ass…" Santana said.
"You did…and it was totally hot," Brittany said, nibbling on Santana's ear. She pushed Santana onto her back, her head propped up on the chair of the couch. She knelt over her, gently sucking on her neck and her collarbone.
"I'll think about it," Santana mumbled out as Brittany ground her hips down. Brittany quickly took her shirt off and then her bra. Santana leaned forward towards her wife but Brittany just waved a finger at her. Before Santana had a chance to protest, Brittany had unbuttoned her own pants and slipped he hand underneath her panties.
"NO!" Santana yelled, trying to get at Brittany again. "You can't do this to me Brit, please." Santana whined. "Please, B…" Brittany bit her lip. "I'm not going to cave, I'm just not going to look at you." Santana crossed her arms indignantly and tightly shut her eyes. It worked for a 30 seconds, before Brittany's moans grew louder, and the grinding of her hips against Santana's intensified. Santana kept her eyes shut, but bit her lip at the sound of Brittany's hand moving faster. She groaned when Brittany ground even harder into Santana. This was unbearable.
"Jesus, Britt," Santana said, opening her eyes, "I'll do it, I'll do anything you want to, please, just let me touch you."
"You promise…we can go…" Brittany tried to get out…her plan may have backfired a bit because she really was enjoying this.
"I promise baby, we'll go. Anything you want goes, baby, please," Brittany smiled. Santana sounded so desperate that Brittany wouldn't have been surprised if she broke out in tears.
"Any...thing?" Brittany asked, unable to stop the moan that came out in the middle of the word.
"Sweet Jesus, Brittany. Anything in the world."
Brittany squealed and pounced on Santana. Santana began ferociously kissing her and Brittany didn't waste anytime picking Santana up off the couch. Santana wrapped her legs around Brittany's waist and they didn't stop kissing the whole way to their bedroom.
"Have you been here before?" Rachel asked Sarah as they looked over the menu at Cru.
"I come here all the time. In my opinion, it's the best vegan food in Los Angeles," Sarah said, smiling at Rachel.
"That's saying a lot," Rachel replied, "for a city that has an unusual amount of vegan cuisine." Sarah nodded.
"I ate lunch at Real Food Daily today. It's kind of become my staple."
"Oh, they're great!" Rachel said. "Quinn and I order from there all the time…who knew cashew cheese could be so delicious?" They sat in silence, quietly sipping their wine and looking over the menu.
Quinn sat on her couch. She had been drinking less lately, something about having someone around all of the time left her with less of a need to find a way to entertain herself between the time that she put her children to bed and finally felt tired herself. Tonight, however, she was alone, and she decided that she could make herself a drink. She looked through the liquor cabinet, thinking that she wanted to do something more adventurous than her usual glass of wine. She settled on a Rose Kennedy; it didn't have too many calories and she was pretty sure it would get her drunk pretty fast since she hadn't been drinking as often as usual, especially not hard alcohol. She settled down into the couch and began to channel surf.
Sarah laughed awkwardly.
"I didn't know anyone actually liked that movie," Sarah said.
"Well, you didn't know Quinn Fabray."
"It's terrible."
"She loves it though…I think it's kind of endearing." They sat in another one of those awkward silences while they ate their food.
"So…" Rachel said, "how's your food? What did you get?"
"This is the truffled mac n' cheese. It's quinoa pasta, cashew cheese, and arugula."
"How is it?"
"Delicious. You know, one of the nice things about this place is that everything is local, so the menu changes depending on what's in season."
"Oh, that's important, you know…always want to reduce our carbon footprint…" Rachel awkwardly ate her meal.
"What did you get?"
"The corn and flax tacos."
"Oh! So you went raw! Brave of you." They sat in silence for a bit.
"So how long did you say you've been in LA?" Rachel asked.
"About six months. How about you?"
"The same. I mean, I've been out here for shorter stints at a time to record for shows I've done, auditions, and a few pilots that weren't picked up. Plus, obviously, I've known Quinn, Santana, and Brittany since we were kids, so I've been out here to see them. Well, really just Brittany and Quinn…I never would have come out here just to see Santana. But never for this long."
"Yeah, so tell me about that…Santana mentioned something about your high school Glee Club?" Rachel smiled.
"Well, we're all from a small town called Lima, Ohio. We went to middle school together, but high school was rough. Brittany, Santana, and Quinn were all cheerleaders and I was the, like, outcast singer, so I never really interacted with them until they joined the Glee Club as spies. You'd think that would have made us friends, but Santana, Quinn and I went through the same boyfriend rotation so it sort of made us enemies…"
"Hold up…Santana dated boys?" Rachel couldn't contain her laughter.
"Did Santana date boys…Santana was like the boy toy of our high school."
"I always had her pegged for a gold star lesbian."
"Definitely not," Rachel said. "I mean, everyone knew that she and Brittany were having sex by our Sophomore year. And everyone knew that they were in love by our Junior year. But, until they came out, our senior year, Brittany and Santana would pretty much give it to anyone who asked…"
"I can't picture that."
"Well, when they joined the glee club, Quinn was dating this guy Finn, I was in love with him, and Santana was dating Puck. Quinn cheated on Finn with Puck, and then Puck and I dated. Meanwhile, Quinn found out she was pregnant with Puck's kid."
"Wait…so Hannah is Noah Puckerman's kid?" Sarah said incredulously.
"Oh, you flatter us…no, we were not in high school eight years ago. Quinn and Puck gave the baby up for adoption. Beth must be 14 now. Anyway, when Finn found out the baby wasn't his, Finn and Quinn broke up. Finn and I got together and Quinn and Puck got together, but Santana continued to sleep with Puck. Then Finn and I broke up and he dated Brittany and Santana at the same time…"
"Without them knowing?"
"No, they asked him out together. This was during their high school, 'you buy us dinner, we make out in front of you,' phase."
"Oh lord," was all Sarah had to say about that.
"Then Santana took Finn's virginity, a detail Finn failed to tell me for months after we got back together. In fact, I think Santana is the one who told me…in some humiliating way, I'm sure, knowing her. Anyway, she continued to sleep with Puck, Quinn dated Sam, then Santana dated Sam. Things didn't really normalize until our senior year when Brittany and Santana finally made it official, and Quinn and I finally felt okay being single."
"That's…interesting…" Sarah said. "Quite the soap opera high school."
"Oh you have no idea," Rachel said.
"And you've all been best friends ever since?"
"No, actually. We weren't enemies after that. Brittany and I ran into each other while we were home for the holidays my Sophomore year of college and I confided in her about my confusion about dating a girl. We spent that break together, whenever she wasn't with Santana, and we've been close ever since. I was her maid of honor. And Quinn stopped being mean to me, but we really weren't as close as we are now until I moved out here this summer. And Santana…well I think Santana and I tolerate each other because we have to…" Another awkward silence followed. Rachel suddenly remembered why she hated dating.
"So…what does Rachel Berry do outside of being a movie star?" Rachel smiled. This girl at least seemed to understand one thing about her—she could always talk about herself.
"Well you've seen me! Game nights, vegan dinners, it's really the whirlwind A-list lifestyle!" They both laughed. "I'm a little bit of a homebody. Lately, the perfect night for me is to order vegan take-out and watch a 1960's musical with Quinn. She pretends she hates them, but come on, who would watch them three times a week if she actually couldn't stand them. I've also been giving Lily some acting and singing lessons—she had the lead in the school play last year and she seems to really show some potential!"
"Who is Lily?"
"She's Quinn's middle child, I think you met her at games night," Rachel clarified.
"Oh…" Sarah said. Another awkward silence…
"So, tell me," Rachel said, "what got you into entertainment law?"
Quinn poured her third drink. She was bored. Nothing she liked on TV was on Thursday night and she was too lazy to pick out a movie. She tried Brittany and Santana, but neither of them picked up. She looked at the clock; it was 9:30, they were probably having sex. She missed having sex. She picked up the phone again and dialed her husband's number.
"Hello?" a groggy voice came through the phone.
"Hey, sexy," Quinn said, putting on her husky, sex voice.
"Quinn?" Justin asked.
"Who else?"
"Is there an emergency or something? It's 12:30 here…"
"No…I just wanted to let you know that I'm lying here naked thinking about you." Instead of feeling sexy, though, Quinn definitely felt silly. She was standing fully clothed in her kitchen pouring soda water into a cup probably already too full of vodka.
"Quinn, you know I'm training. I can't do this with you right now. It's like you think we're 19." He hung up the phone. So that, apparently, was out. Quinn threw herself down on the couch. For a fleeting moment she considered dealing with the problem herself, but as soon as her hands grazed her underwear she realized that she was far too uncomfortable with the odd places her mind strayed lately whenever she tried to get the job done on her own. She stared up at the ceiling. Tonight sucked. She would just have to drink until she passed out.
"Well, since we brought this whole bottle of wine, we might as well finish it," Sarah said, dividing the last of it into their two cups. Rachel wasn't sure she really needed any more, but Sarah was right, they had bought the bottle on their way over to the BYOB establishment and it was silly to let that last bit go to waste. They both threw back the bottom of their glasses quickly and walked toward Sarah's car.
The ride home was mostly silent. Their date had been fine, it was just that at a certain point you have nothing more to say to a stranger.
"I'll walk you to you inside," Sarah said, finding some unusually choice parking. She took Rachel's hand and they walked up to her building. They stopped at the front door.
"This was fun," Rachel said. Sarah nodded. "I'm really glad we got to do this."
"Me too," Sarah said.
"So…would you like to do this again sometime?" Rachel asked, her hand still interlaced with Sarah's.
"I would, Rachel, I really would," Sarah began. She looked at the ground. "I think you might want to deal with your issues with Quinn first, though."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, every story you told somehow managed to relate back to Quinn…and I just think…I'm not comfortable dating someone who clearly has strong feelings for someone else." Sarah said. Rachel, however, looked bewildered. "Rachel," Sarah said, "all you did is talk about her all night. You obviously feel something for her more than a friend."
"That's not true," Rachel said.
"Brittany's your friend. After tonight, all I know about Brittany is that she used to make out with everyone in high school and you became friends your Sophomore year of college. And she did high school glee club. I know that Quinn loves bacon, but has started eating vegan bacon on occasion, has a secret appreciation for musicals, specifically Sweet Charity and anything of the Fosse variety, she prefers green salsa to red, vanilla cake to chocolate cake, but she loves yellow cake, she has a penchant for bad Romantic Comedies and even worse Action movies but she can't tolerate movies in which the good guy gets framed, the only exception to this rule being North by Northwest but only because it is so epic. She'd pick Humphrey Bogart over Cary Grant because he seems more real, although you suspect it's because she has the attitude and looks of Lauren Bacall…"
"Okay…I get the picture. But you know Quinn is straight, right?" Rachel asked, still holding Sarah's hand. Sarah nodded.
"It doesn't mean you are. And we all know we can't help who we fall for." Sarah said. "Seriously, I did have fun, Rachel. I just don't want to get hurt while you deal with your issues with Quinn. So call me when they're dealt with, okay?" She kissed Rachel on the cheek and walked to her car and drove off.
Rachel didn't even go into her apartment. She walked straight to her car and leaned against it. Sarah was right. On some level, Rachel had known this for a long time, but hearing it verbalized really hit home. She had to talk to Quinn. This whole thing between them was just going to get worse if they allowed it to continue any longer. And ultimately, Rachel wanted to be happy, and she knew she wouldn't be happy with anyone until she dealt with her weirdness with Quinn.
Rachel Berry:
Can I come over?
Sent: Thursday, August 17, 10:25pm
Rachel quickly hit send.
Quinn Fabray-Scott:
Quick date? Of course.
See you soon.
Sent: Thursday, August 17, 10:26pm
Quinn smiled as she sent the text, and then quickly reprimanded herself for doing so. Santana was right; Quinn and Rachel couldn't play house forever and she should want her friend to be happy. She couldn't help, though, wanting her friend to be happy playing house with her.
As soon as Rachel received the response she jumped in her car and headed over to Quinn's house.
"Hey, Rach," Quinn said, still in her dress from the day but barefoot now. "How was the date?"
"It was fine," Rachel said. "I mean, it was good, it was pretty good."
"You ready for some wine and a movie?" Quinn asked as they walked towards the kitchen. She was feeling a little bit unhappy with the three vodka cocktails she'd had since Rachel left for that date. Put wine on top of that, and who knew what she would do. She had to play it normal though.
"Wine would be wonderful," Rachel said, knowing in the back of her head that wine probably wouldn't be the greatest of ideas considering that she had at least two glasses of wine while she was with Sarah. She didn't care. She needed the wine if she was going to get this out. Quinn handed her a half full glass of red and Rachel finished it in one gulp. Quinn raised an eyebrow.
"Would you like another, Rach?" Quinn asked, nervous laughter in her voice. Rachel nodded. Quinn poured her another glass, full this time, and to Quinn's relief she took a normal sized sip. "So…did you want to watch something?"
"Actually, I came over here because I was hoping we could just talk." Rachel said, quickly taking another sip of wine.
"Of course," Quinn said, trying to desperately to ignore the knot that had quickly formed in her stomach.
"Do you want to go outside?" Rachel asked. Quinn simply nodded and the two exited the house and sat on the swinging bench, both facing forward, quietly swinging back and forth.
"So…" Quinn said nervously, trying to break the silence. "What did you want to talk about?" Rachel looked up at the nonexistent Los Angeles stars trying to decide where to begin.
"I'm just going to get this all out there at once," Rachel said, the pitch of her voice rising a little and speaking a mile a minute, as she had the bad habit of doing when she was nervous. She took a sip of her wine. "Sarah and I seemed to be having a great time on our date. We get along really well, we have a lot in common, and as you know, she's exactly the kind of woman I'm attracted to. Driven, loves musical theater, vegan…"
"Blond hair, hazel eyes," Quinn interjected, a little bitterly, wondering silently to herself why Rachel came over to tell her how wonderful her date had been, and if it was so wonderful why she wasn't with Sarah right now?
"Let me finish, Quinn. But I guess I may have talked about you a touch too much, and when the date was over, she told me to call her whenever I dealt with whatever was going on with you. And the truth is, Quinn, I don't know what is going on with us. I mean, I'm bisexual, but you're straight, and we spend all of this time together lately, and we feel a little like we're a family, but you already have a family, and I'm worried that I'm deluding myself into believing that something larger exists between us than actually does, and that in the end I'm going to get hurt because Justin will come home and you're in love with him and you'll resume your normal family life and I'll be left in the dust and I don't know if I can handle that and…I think that I may have developed some feelings or something for you and I'm so sorry and you're probably really freaked out now." Rachel said, slurring the last part of her sentence into one giant word. She took a large gulp of her wine. It took Quinn a moment to understand the last part of what Rachel had said. They sat in silence for what felt like an eternity.
"Thanks for telling me all that, Rach." Quinn said simply. Rachel turned in her seat so that her feet were on the bench and she was facing Quinn.
"That's all you have to say? Thanks for telling me? I'm sorry, Quinn, I know you don't like to talk about these things, but you're going to have to give me a little more than that." Quinn laughed until she looked up. Her eyes locked with Rachel's large, brown, sad ones and she was abruptly brought back into the seriousness of the moment. Quinn finished the last of her wine in one gulp and set it on the table in front of them,
"I…I just don't know what to say. Of course I recognize how things have gotten weird between us. I think I've spent all summer trying to pretend that things haven't, or that I haven't noticed, because I really love spending time with you, and I didn't want anything to get in the way of that. I just…I haven't felt so connected with anyone in a long time, and I didn't want confusing feelings to get in the way of that. I've been happier this summer than I've been in years, Rachel." Rachel had pulled her legs all the way up to her chest and was now resting her head upon her knees. Quinn turned so that one knee was bent at her chest and the other dangled off the bench and scooted herself closer to Rachel and lightly grasped Rachel's hands. "I know that you're right. The responsible decision right now is to see each other less, until we've dealt with whatever is going on with us." Rachel looked into Quinn's sad, hazel eyes that were now less than a foot away from her own. Suddenly everything became fuzzy. Rachel started to regret drinking all of that wine so quickly just a few minutes earlier as she began to feel its effects rolling over her body. Suddenly, all she was aware of was the feeling of Quinn's soft hands on her own, and the now familiar smell of lavender from Quinn's hair in the night breeze.
"I don't want to see you less," Rachel croaked out, in barely a whisper. She hadn't even noticed the single tears that were flowing from each eye. Quinn reached up and wiped the tears from Rachel's cheeks. They maintained eye contact as Rachel's tears continued to flow, and Quinn leaned in and gently kissed Rachel's cheekbones, moving back and forth between each one, kissing the tears away.
"I don't want to see you less either, Rachel," Quinn said into Rachel's cheek, suddenly filled with the same sense of fuzziness Rachel was currently coping with. Her hand gently cupped Rachel's other cheek. Quinn felt like it was the right thing to do, comforting her friend, but at the same time was vaguely aware of how wildly inappropriate this was. "But we have to make responsible decisions…I have to make responsible decisions," she said, still to Rachel's cheek, gently kissing it again. She had somehow managed to move so close to Rachel that her right leg was against the bench along the side of Rachel's body and Rachel's legs were now at Quinn's chest. Quinn's chest tightened, and she knew that Rachel must be able to feel the pace of her heartbeat. Rachel looked down slightly and turned her head so that her lips were pressed into Quinn's cheek.
"You're right, I know you're right, what we'll both be better off making the choice not to see each other until things have normalized again. Maybe until the weekend in Big Bear," Rachel said, each word spoken grazing along Quinn's cheek. She laced her fingers through her friends blond hair.
"Until Big Bear," Quinn repeated, running her thumb back and forth across Rachel's cheek, vaguely aware of the familiar longing that was intensifying between her legs. She kissed Rachel's cheek again. "I think I can manage not seeing you until Big Bear," she said, their foreheads pressed together, and Quinn's breath flitting across the corner of Rachel's lips. Rachel tightened her grip in Quinn's hair.
"Big Bear," Rachel repeated, her voice barely a whisper. Quinn felt her breath hitch in her throat as her nose grazed Rachel's and the slightly sweet smell of red wine entered Quinn's mouth.
"I can do that," Quinn said, "I can not see you," Quinn said, sounding as though she wasn't even aware of what she was saying as she spoke the words directly into Rachel's lips. Rachel stifled back a small moan as Quinn's lips ever so slightly grazed hers as she spoke. She knew Quinn had felt the moan, however, because her hand on Rachel's cheek stopped moving and instead gently moved Rachel's face so that their lips pressed together. They stayed there for a moment, not moving, their lips pressed together, softly yet firmly. Unlike Rachel, Quinn couldn't suppress her moan, feeling all of her frustrations from the summer releasing and when Rachel heard the low, guttural sound slip from Quinn's throat she couldn't help but tighten her grip in Quinn's hair, pushing them closer together and slipping her tongue between Quinn's lips. Their legs entangled like children playing spider on a swingset. They explored one another's lips, at once desperate and frenzied while at the same time strong and sweet. Their tongues danced together. The taste of vanilla on Rachel's lips, and their softness against her own made Quinn feel like she was going to explode, like the knot that had been growing in her stomach was actually going to come out of her chest. Rachel, now moaned into Quinn's mouth, pushing their bodies closer together so that Rachel's legs were fully wrapped around Quinn's body. Eventually, however, they had to come up for air.
"Oh my god," Rachel said, quietly, jumping up from the bench and knocking over the table that held both their wine glasses. "We can't do this. Oh my god. I have to go," Rachel said. Quinn sat, one leg still up on the bench. Rachel wasn't positive, but she was pretty sure Quinn was repeating "fuck" over and over again under her breath. Rachel ran toward the sliding door.
"Wait, Rachel!" Quinn said. Rachel stopped, her hand on the door handle. Quinn didn't turn to look at her. "Whatever just happened between us, I can't, in good faith, allow you to drive home. You're drunk and it's unsafe. Sleep in the guest bedroom, and then we'll take that break until Big Bear."
"Okay," was all Rachel said. Quinn felt her stomach tie into knots again because she was almost sure it was said through tears. She heard the sliding door open and shut and a few minutes later she could hear the shower turn on upstairs. She walked into the house and took out the bottle of vodka. In that moment, she didn't care that it was unhealthy, she didn't care what drinking by herself made her feel like. She just needed to forget. She pulled out two shot glasses. She needed to forget that she had just kissed someone other than her husband for the first time in 12 years. She poured the vodka into each glass. She needed to forget the feeling of butterflies that were attacking her stomach. She threw the first shot back. She needed to forget the feeling of Rachel's lips against her own. She took the second shot. Mostly, she needed to forget the fact that for thirty seconds outside on her porch swing, she felt like the biggest mistake she had made in over a decade was also first thing she'd done right.
"I love you, B" Santana said into her wife's disheveled blond hair.
"I love you too," Brittany mumbled into Santana's collarbone. They lay in silence, just holding each other. "You said you'd do anything I wanted, San." Brittany said.
"Well, what do you have in mind?"
"Let's have another baby." Brittany said. Santana's heart stopped.
"Can we talk about this later?"
"Santana, you promised me anything."
"And now I'm promising you, let's talk about this in Big Bear. Right now, I just want to enjoy you." Brittany smiled.
"You promise that we'll talk about it in Big Bear?"
"I promise." Santana said. Brittany fell asleep sprawled on top of Santana, a smile on her face.