Author's Note: You guys are the best readers and reviewers ever. Like, seriously, the best. Thank you so much! This chapter is a little crazy and all over the place...but I hope you enjoy it!
"You make funny noises when you sleep," Quinn said as Rachel lazily opened her eyes. Quinn was towel drying her hair.
"So I've been told," Rachel said, her voice thick with sleep. "What time is it?"
"9," Quinn said. "Which, sadly enough, is sleeping in for me." Rachel laughed.
"Me too." Rachel sat up in the bed, holding her knees. "I'm going to take a shower," she said slightly awkwardly and jumped out of bed and out of the room.
After she'd finished showering and changing, Rachel followed the smell of coffee toward the kitchen. Without speaking, Quinn poured Rachel a cup and handed it to her.
"I got a paper while you were in the shower," Quinn said, pointing over to the kitchen table. Rachel smiled. Quinn poured a little more coffee in her own cup and they sat down at the table. Quinn unfolded the paper and handed Rachel the Arts section while she read the News section. When Rachel finished, she got them more coffee and then they traded sections. When Quinn finished Arts section she pulled out the Business section and handed Rachel the Opinion for whenever she was finished with the News. Quinn checked her phone when she had finished the Opinion section. They never read Sports.
"It's almost 10:30," Quinn said, breaking the silence for the first time in over an hour. "Britt and Santana should be up soon." Rachel looked up from the paper.
"Really? I bet you they're not up before 1." Rachel said.
"No way. They'll roll out of their room by 11 at the latest."
"How can you be so sure?"
"Well, they're used to probably getting up at 6, so they'll have slept in until around 9. Then they'll have morning sex, which will take an hour and half."
"You think they'll only do it once?" Rachel asked.
"You know how much B eats…she'll get hungry and Santana will complain, but will give in to Britt in less than 10 minutes and it will take them 20 to look presentable. Eleven." Quinn said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"I still think they won't be up until one."
"I'll bet you."
"Well what are we betting?"
"Ten dollars," Quinn said.
"Boring."
"A massage." Quinn turned red as soon as she said it. Rachel ignored her completely.
"Winner buys the other one dinner back in LA." Rachel said.
"Deal." Quinn replied. They shook hands, grinning. "Now, since I know that I'm going to win, what do you say we start cooking breakfast?" Rachel rolled her eyes. "I made sure that the house was stocked with plenty of vegan food before we arrived," Quinn said, a little bashfully. Rachel just smiled and opened the fridge.
Santana and Brittany lazily wandered out of their bedroom at eleven on the dot. Rachel shot Quinn a quick glare before returning to the odd sight in front of her. Brittany was holding a bowl of water close to her chest and placed it on the kitchen counter. She slipped behind Santana and wrapped her arms around her waist, kissing her cheek. Rachel rolled her eyes at the smug look on Santana's face.
"How was your night?" Quinn said, raising an eyebrow.
"It was amazing," Brittany said, kissing Santana on the cheek again.
"No thanks to the unpredictable temperature of your house," Santana added, leaning back into Brittany. Quinn blushed.
"Kind of thanks to it though," Brittany said, looking deep in thought. Santana smirked again.
"What's with the bowl of water, Britt?" Rachel asked.
"It was ice." Brittany deadpanned. "We didn't use it all so it melted." Rachel looked confused and Quinn just looked mildly grossed out. Santana grinned. They sat down to the breakfast that Quinn and Rachel had prepared.
"Vegan pancakes, vegan sausage, and fresh fruit!" Rachel said excitedly as they passed around the food. Santana rolled her eyes.
"I miss your breakfasts, baby," Santana said into Brittany's ear, and then kissed her cheek. Brittany smiled lovingly down at her wife. Santana caught her gaze and they just smiled at each other, seemingly having a conversation just with their eyes. Quinn finally cleared her throat.
"You mind passing the food, guys?" Quinn said, not even attempting to hide her exasperation. Santana passed the pancakes to Quinn, but Brittany didn't move from the orange juice she was holding. "GUYS!" Quinn yelled, startling everyone at the table.
"Sorry," Brittany giggled, passing the juice to Santana who poured some in her glass and passed it onto Quinn. Brittany looked at Santana again, grabbing her hand. "I love you," she mouthed to Santana.
"I love you too," Santana mouthed back. They shared a quick peck on the lips.
"I miss my kids," Quinn said quietly over to Rachel, "they are so much better at getting them to stop this annoying, post-sex, teenage nonsense." Rachel laughed.
"You just have to give Santana a black eye!" Quinn and Rachel broke out in boisterous laughter, causing Brittany and Santana to break out of their haze.
"What did we miss?" Santana asked. Quinn and Rachel just laughed harder.
After a normal amount of arguing among the four women they were showered, dressed, and ready to start their first full day in Big Bear. The plan was to first go to the zoo for the annual Labor Day Weekend Ice Cream Safari (Brittany's choice…Santana's choice after a long pout) and then to head on to Elevations Day Spa for their package four-hour treatment. Santana called Rita from the car. They talked for a few minutes about the babies before Santana asked to speak to her children.
"I'll put us on speaker so we both can talk to them," Santana said. There was some loud breathing and a little clapping heard on the other end of the phone.
"Nico? Livy?" Brittany asked. The response was giggling. "It's mama!"
"And mami,"
"And we miss you both so so much,"
"And we're going to get you lots of presents from Big Bear!" The twins were still just cooing and giggling in the background. Quinn rolled her eyes.
"Mama," came a voice through the phone. Santana beamed at Brittany. All of a sudden a chorus of mama, mami, and ma went back and forth between the twins. They knew that the babies probably had no idea what they were saying, but it was adorable nonetheless. As Brittany and Santana grinned, the chorus of mama and mami somehow became boobs back and forth again. Santana rolled her eyes.
"Hello? Peep?" Came Rita's voice through the phone. Santana took the phone off speaker and the two spoke for another minute before Santana hung up the phone.
"That was our first phone conversation with our babies," Brittany said, smiling at Santana.
"I know," Santana replied with a huge grin plastered across her face. They hugged, but it took less than a minute before the hug turned into a full-on makeout session in the back of Quinn's car. Quinn rolled her eyes but let them go at it until they got to the zoo.
"That bird is named Puck," Brittany laughed as she ate her Strawberry Cheesecake ice cream while they walked through the first stop on the ice cream/animal tour. She was the only one eating ice cream; Santana was lactose intolerant, Quinn was watching her figure, and Rachel was vegan. Santana smiled lovingly at Brittany, Quinn looked bored, and Rachel looked disturbed.
"I just think it's sad to see all these animals caged like this…" Rachel said. It's like a prison." Brittany's face dropped.
"Is this a prison for animals? But they haven't done anything wrong…" Brittany said. Santana glared at Rachel.
"No, B, this is like a playground for animals! Look at Puck, I think he's smiling! And how he's playing with the other Kestrals!" Brittany nodded. Santana grabbed her wife's hand. "Trust me, B, they're happy," Santana said. "Since when do we believe whatever Berry has to say?" Brittany nodded again, the smile reforming on her lips.
"I think I'm done with this," she said, handing the ice cream to Santana, who finished it and threw it in the trash.
"I want to swim with the bears," Brittany said, eating her mint chocolate chip ice cream as they watched the black bears splash around in the water. "This would be like a real bear swim, not like that lame one we had with Justin when we got arrested." Rachel raised her eyebrow.
"Don't ask," Quinn said.
"B, I don't think it's the best idea you swim with the bears…I think this is more like a bear bath, and you wouldn't want them getting in with you during a bath."
"That's true," Brittany said. "I don't think I like Mint Chip," she added, handing her ice cream to Santana who finished it off.
"If we get a cat, can we name it Tornado like this bobcat?" Brittany asked Santana between bites of Double Fudge Brownie ice cream.
"Sure, B, but I don't know that we should get a cat right now."
"You're kind of like a cat, San." Santana smiled. "I'd rather we get a dog than a cat, anyway."
"I know, B."
"How much longer is this tour?" Rachel whispered to Quinn.
"Five stops. Just two more."
"Thank god." Rachel said. Brittany handed Santana the ice cream.
"Too much chocolate," she said simply. Santana wasn't complaining.
"Bald Eagles are boring." Brittany deadpanned as she ate her Pistachio Nut.
"They're, like, the American bird, B." Santana said.
"They're not bald. I don't know why they say they're bald."
"Because their heads are white."
"But…not all bald heads are white…like your dad's head, San. Besides, it doesn't make sense. What does being bald have to do with being American?"
"At one time, Bald meant white, not hairless," Rachel said. "The bald eagle was chosen in 1782 as the emblem of the United States because of its long life, great strength and majestic looks, and also because it was then believed to exist only on this continent."
"Oh," Brittany said. Quinn looked at Rachel skeptically. Rachel gestured over to the placard in front of the eagle display. "This is the best flavor so far," Brittany said.
"Can I try some?" Santana asked. Brittany handed it to her and Santana finished it.
"That's all I want, Santana!" Brittany said, working on her Rocky Road. Santana looked at her wife skeptically. Quinn mentally noted that this was probably the first time all day that Santana hadn't looked at Brittany with a face of pure adoration.
"Good luck getting that, Santana," Rachel whispered over to Santana. Santana glared at her.
"Please, San. I won't ask for a puppy, or a cat, or a turtle, or a mouse, or another baby, ever again," Brittany said. Quinn raised her eyebrows at Rachel.
"Baby, I wish I could get you one, but I don't think it would fit in our backyard," Santana said, eyeing the Wood Bison warily. Of course this would be the animal Brittany would fall in love with. "And if it doesn't have room to play it will be sad." Brittany seemed to accept this, with a mild amount of disappointment, and handed the ice cream to Santana.
"I think I've had enough ice cream for the day." Brittany said. Santana set to work at the last of the ice cream.
"Okay!" Rachel said, clapping her hands. "Spa, anyone?"
"Let's get the hell out of here." Quinn said. As they walked toward the car, Santana threw the empty ice cream cup in the trash.
"I don't feel so great." Santana said, holding her stomach.
"Well, you ate like a pint of ice cream," Rachel pointed out.
"And you're lactose intolerant," Quinn said as they piled in the car.
"I did not! I ate Britt's leftovers."
"Her leftovers of five scoops of ice cream!" Quinn said.
"Well…ice cream is delicious…" Santana said. She lay her head on Brittany's shoulder, holding her stomach. "I hate them." She said.
"I know, baby," Brittany replied, petting Santana's hair.
Santana couldn't help but look at her wife out of the corner of her eye as they got changed at the spa. She was amazed that Brittany was 30, had given birth to twins a year earlier, and had just eaten five bowls of ice cream and still managed to maintain the body of a 16 year old. She realized that she was ogling so she turned to face the other direction, not wanting to get shit from Quinn or Rachel. She looked up at Quinn who was in her robe and was clearly staring at Rachel changing. Santana furrowed her brow. Quinn must have felt eyes looking at her because she looked at Santana and blushed as Santana raised one eyebrow.
The massage was amazing, and definitely super relaxing, but Santana was distracted during the rest of their spa treatment. For one thing, her stomach still hurt from all of the ice cream. The real issue, however, was that every time she'd pull her attention away from her extremely attractive wife, she would catch Quinn or Rachel stealing a glance at one another, or catch them making eye contact and talking in that unspoken way she and Brittany had communicated for years. Maybe it was in her head, but things were definitely weird with them, and by the time they finished their spa treatment, it was all Santana was thinking about.
"I think we should order in," Santana said when they arrived back at the house. "I, for one, don't feel like cooking."
"I'd actually like to cook," Rachel said.
"I can help you," Quinn said. Santana raised her eyebrow for about the hundredth time since they'd gotten to Big Bear.
"You want to go in the hot tub, San?" Brittany said, the sex oozing off of her voice. Before Santana got a chance to answer, Brittany was walking away from the group toward the back porch peeling off her shirt and then her bra, and shimmying out of her pants as she walked. Quinn rolled her eyes.
"I…I…" Santana began.
"Just go, Santana," Quinn said. "But please don't have sex in my hot tub."
"Sure, Q." Santana ran after her wife who was out of sight, but must be completely naked by now.
"They haven't changed at all since they were 16, have they?" Rachel asked Quinn.
"Not a bit," Quinn laughed. "What do you want to make for dinner?"
"San, you promised we would talk about this in Big Bear!" Brittany said, crossing her arms across her bare chest.
"I just want to enjoy the hot tub now, B." Santana said.
"No. I want to talk about this."
"Fine, Britt. But first, can we talk about how weird Quinn and Rach are being?"
"No. They are being weird, but we can talk about that later."
"Fine. What did you want to talk about?"
"Well, we always said we'd want to have our children two years apart…"
"Right, and we had two at once, which means we're two years ahead of schedule."
"No, it means that Nic and Olivia turn two in ten months which gives you exactly one month to get pregnant."
"One, it means we have a year and ten months, since we're ahead of schedule, and two, who said anything about me having a baby?" Santana said, incredulously.
"I just had two! It's your turn! Plus, you have a job you can go back to while you still have baby weight, and maternity leave, so we'll still have two incomes, and I just got back to work! I can't get pregnant again now."
"Right. You'll get pregnant again in a year and ten months." Santana said. Brittany pouted. "I'm not budging on this, Brittany." As a result they sat in silence for what seemed like an eternity. "Fine, Britt," Santana finally scowled. "But we have to compromise. What do you want from me?"
"First, I want you to say you'll have our next child."
"Fine. I'll have our next child." As soon as the words left her mouth, terrifying images of her waddling around yelling at people while 8 months pregnant filled her mind.
"Second, I want you to agree to start thinking about the logs and sticks."
"Logistics," Santana corrected.
"That's what I said."
"What do you mean, Britt?"
"Well, we could use the same donor, so all of our children will be related, but they won't look like me. Or we could use a Dutch donor, and then all of our children will look like us, but they won't technically be related by blood…"
"I don't know, Britt."
"Your racial makeup makes pretty children, San."
"I know." Santana said with a shrug.
"So let's make our kids related, okay?"
"Fine." Santana said. Brittany squealed. "But, Britt, seriously, I think we should wait. I promise you that I will have our next baby, and that we will use the same donor, but we have our hands full right now with two babies. It just doesn't make any sense." Brittany was about to pout, but she saw the seriousness in Santana's face. She knew her wife couldn't say no to her, but she also knew when Santana was right.
"Okay," she said simply. Santana smiled.
"Now come over here, so I can enjoy you while I have the chance," Santana said.
"You know it, baby. Only a couple more years before sleepless nights resume when our little Santana comes." Brittany swam over to Santana and straddled her, gently kissing her neck.
"I hate you." Santana said.
"Oh, you love me. Otherwise you would have figured out a way to say no by now…"
"Dinner!" Quinn screamed from the kitchen. Brittany and Santana reluctantly climbed out of the hot tub and wrapped themselves in towels. They walked into the kitchen, Santana in front with Brittany's arms wrapped around her waist.
"You two look happy," Rachel commented.
"Ugh, please tell me that you did not just have sex in the hot tub," Quinn said. Santana smirked at her.
"No," Brittany said proudly, "we decided to have another baby!"
"We did not decide anything. Brittany decided she wants to have another baby. And here's the kicker…Brittany decided we're going to have another baby and that I have to be the one to carry it." Quinn and Rachel looked at the two in shock. Brittany was beaming and Santana just looked…annoyed.
"Congratulations?" Quinn asked.
"Thank you!" Brittany squealed, running over to Quinn and Rachel and enveloping them both in a hug, losing her towel to a shocked Quinn and Rachel.
"Maybe you should put some clothes on before we start dinner," Rachel said awkwardly. Santana smirked and led her wife toward their bedroom.
It was well after ten by the time they had finished their dinner. Quinn and Santana washed the dishes while Brittany ran some of her recent choreography by Rachel in the living room.
"I can't believe you agreed to have a baby, Santana." Quinn finally said, incredulously.
"You know that I don't know how to say no her. And she was so insistent…but at least I got her to agree that we have to wait."
"But you do realize that this means you are eventually going to have to have a baby." Santana finished her third glass of wine.
"I'm hoping she'll forget. B has many wonderful qualities, but her memory isn't one of them."
"She'll never forget something as big as this." Quinn said, chuckling. Santana's eyes opened wide and she stopped washing dishes. She looked over at Quinn.
" I can't have a baby, Q." Santana said. Quinn put down the dish in her hand.
"Sure you can. Britt and I have both done it. I've done it four times, and Britt did two at once."
"No, Q, I can't. I've seen that shit. I've seen you give birth three times, and I've seen Brittany give birth once, and that's the most frightening shit I've ever seen in my life. I can't, Q. I'm not strong enough. I can support someone else during their pregnancy. I can make fucking anti-nausea teas, and rub bellies and give massages, and make late night taco truck and ice cream runs, but I can't have a baby myself."
"I'm sorry, but I think it's too late for that."
"I'm not pregnant yet. Oh. My. God. I just agreed to get pregnant. Kill me, Q, please…" Santana said.
"I'm not going to kill you. However, we can take some secret shots like we did back in college."
"We didn't buy liquor." Santana pointed out.
"Santana. This is my house. You think I don't keep the bar fully stocked? Let's just get to the basement." The two women snuck past Rachel and Brittany, still engrossed in choreography, and headed to the basement. Santana loved the basement in Big Bear. There was a pool table and a 52 inch screen TV and, most importantly, a bar. A bar that apparently was always fully stocked. "I think you need this tonight." Quinn said, bringing her over to the bar so that Santana sat like the customer and Quinn stood like the bartender. "What can I get for you tonight?" Quinn asked from behind the bar.
"Two shots of tequila. And two more for the pretty bartender in front of me." Quinn poured four shots out. They took them immediately. "Two more, for each of us," Santana said. Quinn poured out more shots, knowing that this much liquor in less than five minutes would make them talky and drunk, They threw back the next two shots. Ten minutes or so passed before the expected breakdown.
"I can't have a baby, Q," Santana began through drunken sobs. "I love Brittany. Do you know that?" Quinn nodded. "I love her Q. Like…I love her. You don't even understand. She's just so…perfect. She's beautiful and funny and she's an amazing dancer and she's always loved me even though I'm kind of a bitch to everyone. But she wants me to have a fucking baby. I can't have a baby. I'm not strong like you two are. I'm definitely not strong enough. I'm scared, Q." Quinn just nodded, knowing that Santana needed to rant. "And you're my best friend, Quinn, after Brittany because she's my wife and my best friend, but you're my best friend who I don't sleep with," Quinn rolled her eyes, "and I'm really really sorry that you have to listen to me cry about my nonexistent pregnancy when you have been pregnant four times and you're being all super gay…" Quinn's eyes widened, as Santana continued unfazed, "which is scary, I get it. I remember when I was super gay and you were super pregnant and I thought it was better to be super pregnant than super gay because pregnant ends in 9 months but gay lasts forever. But that was before I was almost pregnant." Quinn thought she was going to choke on her drink.
"First of all, you're not almost pregnant, you're not going to be pregnant for a couple of years. Second of all, why are you calling me gay?" Santana shrugged.
"Because you're being super gay, Q." Santana giggled, her mood suddenly changing. "Quinn Fabgay," Santana giggled again.
"I'm not being gay!" Quinn said, playfully shoving Santana from across the bar. "And you're bad at portmanteaus," she said, shoving Santana again.
"You wanna bring it Fabgay?" Santana said through a grin, stumbling off of the stool and raising her "I dare you to challenge me," arms.
"Consider it brung," Quinn said, walking out from her side of the bar. Quinn lunged at Santana pushing her against the wall. Santana shoved back and they fell into the pool table, Santana pulling at Quinn's hair and Quinn biting Santana's arm.
"Oh god, not this again," came Brittany's voice as she walked down the stairs. Quinn and Santana jumped apart, guiltily. Rachel just looked confused. Brittany walked behind the bar and gestured Rachel to follow her.
"What's going on?" Rachel asked as she took a seat at the bar. The four shot glasses were still sitting on the bar.
"Well," Brittany said, examining the liquor options behind the bar and finally settling on tequila. "My lovely wife was probably freaking out about having a baby in a few years and Quinn brought her down to her bachelorette party pad here, where they took 'secret shots'," Brittany used air quotes for this, "forgetting that I will always know when they take secret shots because they are always drunk when they come back from them. Santana then said something to insult Quinn, and Quinn said something to insult Santana, and we walked in just in time to catch the fight." Brittany passed two shots over to Rachel. Rachel cringed, thinking back to the last time she took tequila shots. Brittany clinked their glasses together and they took one right after the other.
"Don't think you two are the only ones who are going to get in on all of the fun, baby," Brittany said, her face crunched up after the shot, looking over at Santana. "Six years ago during a drunken fight here, Santana pushed Quinn over the couch and Quinn slipped on a magazine that had fallen off the coffee table and knocked out her two front teeth," Brittany said in a stage whisper to Rachel. "That's why her teeth are so perfect, no matter what," Brittany explained. "Fake." Santana and Quinn rolled their eyes.
"Wasn't my fault she tripped," Santana said, thankful that all the physical activity had at least sobered her up a bit.
"You pushed me," Quinn said.
"Not my fault you're so weak."
"Not my fault you're such a bitch."
"You should be thanking me, Fabgay. Your fake teeth look great."
"If you call me that again, Lopezbian, I'll will hurt you so badly you'll wish you'd never been born."
"You know I'm from Lima Heights Adjacent…"
"Let me stop you there, ghetto Barbie, I've known you all my life, and there is no such thing as Lima Heights Adjacent. Your father's a doctor. I'm not some dumb kid at McKinley anymore…" Quinn pushed Santana. Santana pushed Quinn back.
Poppin bottles in the ice, like a blizzard
When we drink we do it right gettin' slizzard
Sippin sizzurp in my ride, in my ride, like three six
Now I'm feelin' so fly, like a G6
Santana and Quinn looked up as the familiar song began.
"Maybe we should dance?" Rachel suggested. "This song always makes me want to dance. Plus, it's the first song I ever got drunk too."
"DANCE PARTY!" Brittany yelled.
Santana smirked at her wife who was, as usual, on top of the pool table, whipping her hair around in her shorts and bra. Santana took a swig from the tequila bottle she was holding. As she lowered the bottle she realized that she was also in just her shorts and bra. She rolled her eyes. Her eyes narrowed as they found Rachel and Quinn. Rachel was sitting on the bar holding a shot of tequila. Santana shifted her stance so that she could get a better view of what Quinn was doing, but she still couldn't see Quinn's face from her position on the pool table. Rachel picked the salt shaker off of the bar and shook some into the nook between Quinn's collarbone and neck.
"You've got to be kidding me," Santana said to herself as she jumped off the pool table and moved to where she could see Quinn's face, just in time to see Rachel lick the salt of off Quinn's neck, take her shot, and place the lime in her mouth.
"I have the best idea!" Brittany squealed over the music. Everyone turned to face Brittany. Thank god for her impeccable timing, anything to get those two away from being particularly weird and gross. "Hot tub!" Brittany jumped off the table and ran up the stairs, throwing her bra away behind her. Santana was momentarily distracted by the fact that Brittany was now upstairs topless.
"Hot tub hot tub hot tub!" Santana chanted, ushering the women at the bar up the stairs in front of her. It wasn't until she got to the hot tub that she thought that maybe it wasn't the best idea if she wanted to prevent them from being weird and gross. Her attention was again diverted, however, by the realization that Brittany was sitting in the hot tub, and she was definitely not wearing a shirt. Santana didn't waste anytime peeling off her own bra and shorts and climbing in after her wife. Brittany smirked at her as she sidled up next to her. Santana didn't say anything as she let her hand stray into the water to graze Brittany's thigh and up to her hip, only to be disappointed to find that Brittany was still in her underwear.
"San,' Brittany said, giggling, and swatting at Santana's hand under the water, "Rach and Q are right here." Quinn turned red.
"Okay, we're going to leave you guys alone."
"Na-uh," Santana said. "Get in the tub. Since when are you shy, Q?" Santana asked. Quinn rolled her eyes. Santana gently nudged Brittany to move forward and Santana slipped in behind her so that Brittany's back was pressed against her chest. Brittany leaned back into Santana so that they were sitting cheek to cheek.
"Get in!" Brittany said.
"I'll tell you what, Q," Santana said. "Brittany and I will close our eyes until you guys are under water so that we won't be able to see anything."
"Fine." Quinn said. "You first, Rach."
"No you first."
"Oh for god's sake," Santana said. "Quinn you go first," Santana shut her eyes tightly and felt the water ripple as Quinn climbed in.
"Brittany!" Rachel screeched.
"Yeah?" Brittany said. Santana opened her eyes to find out what was going on.
"SANTANA!" Rachel yelled.
"Sweet Jesus, I did not need to see Berry's boobs," Santana said, quickly shutting her eyes again.
"Brittany, shut your eyes." Brittany shrugged.
"I've never seen your boobs, Rach."
"Well, now you've seen them."
"Right, so why bother shutting them again now?" Brittany asked. Santana put her hands over her wife's eyes until Rachel was also in the water.
"Tell me somebody remembered to bring the alcohol up here," Rachel said, sitting as far away from everyone as possible in the hot tub.
"Obviously," Santana said, reaching behind her and taking a swig of tequila. She offered it to Brittany, who passed, and then handed it on to Rachel who took a 10 second gulp.
"You're going to regret that in the morning," Quinn said, taking the tequila from Rachel and taking a swig of it herself.
"I think I'm going to regret a lot of things in the morning," Rachel said.
"What should we do now?" Quinn asked, giggling a little at the strangeness of the situation.
"Let's play never have I ever!" Brittany said.
"We're too old for that, Britt," Quinn said. Brittany pouted.
"Okay, I'll start, let me just grab cups. " Santana said. She quickly hopped out of the hot tub and ran into the house.
"She has nice boobs," Rachel slurred out giggling. She immediately covered her mouth. She hated alcohol. Brittany nodded.
"They're fake," Brittany said. "Like Quinn's front teeth." Quinn rolled her eyes. Santana was back out in a moment and poured tequila into everyone's cup and passed them around.
"Stop looking at them, Rach!" Brittany said. Santana looked at Rachel questioningly and climbed back in the hot tub behind Brittany. "Rachel likes your boobs." Santana shrugged.
"They're great. I don't blame her," Santana smirked. Quinn rolled her eyes.
"They're great for now. Wait until you breastfeed," she smirked at Santana. Santana started to breathe deeply in and out, pursing her lips. She ran her hands through her hair before her face completely crumpled and she began sobbing.
"Look what you've done," Rachel hissed over at Quinn.
"Well, maybe you shouldn't have been staring at her boobs!" Quinn hissed back.
"Not my fault!" Rachel said. "They're just so big…and perky…" Quinn rolled her eyes. Brittany meanwhile was calming Santana down.
"Guys! Game, now!" Brittany said. "Go ahead, baby," she said to Santana. Santana nodded, collecting herself.
"Never have I ever…kissed Berry." Quinn and Brittany drank. Quinn looked questioningly at Brittany, who shrugged.
"In high school…I kissed everybody."
"Never have I ever," Quinn began, "had sex with a woman," she finished. Brittany, Quinn, and Rachel drank.
"We can't play this game with Quinn," Santana said, her face still scrunched up from the tequila. "She's just going to do lesbian things and get us all out…never have I gone down on a woman, never have I used a strap on, never have I felt someone else's boobs…"
"Hey!" Quinn yelled. "I've touched boobs! I'm not that much of a prude…" Santana looked at her skeptically. "I've touched Brittany and Rachel's boobs." Santana raised her eyebrows, looking at her wife.
"Oh, San, you know we made out our Sophomore year. I made out with everyone," Brittany reminded Santana for the second time that night. Santana's face scrunched up again, and she began to breathe heavily out of her mouth. "San…San-baby…"
"You just…you never told me she touched your boobs…" Santana broke down crying into Brittany's shoulder.
"I think it's time we go to bed," Brittany said, rising out of the water and turning to bring Santana with her. Quinn and Rachel both looked down into the water, averting their attention from the nearly naked bodies in front of them. Brittany wrapped at towel around Santana and herself and they quietly walked into the house, Santana crying against Rachel's shoulder. Rachel and Quinn sat in silence.
"Well…" Rachel said, finally. "This is awkward."
"Totally awkward." Quinn said, happy that Rachel was breaking the tension. Quinn picked up the cup of tequila that Santana had poured and finished it in one gulp. She waded over to the other side of the hot tub and finished Santana's and handed Rachel Brittany's.
"What do we do now?" Rachel said, as she took a sip of Brittany's drink. Quinn shrugged.
"Go to bed, I guess?" Rachel nodded. "Close your eyes," Quinn said. Rachel complied, slowly sipping out of Brittany's cup.
"I'm pretty sure that Santana put some chaser in here," Rachel said, her eyes squeezed tightly.
"I know," Quinn said. "She put chaser in hers as well, that selfish bitch…you can open your eyes now." Rachel opened her eyes. "I'm going in, I'll see you in there in a second?" Quinn asked. Rachel just nodded. After the sliding door shut, Rachel climbed out of the hot tub as well and wrapped a towel tightly around her body.
"I…love…you…" Santana choked out between sobs.
"I know you do, baby." Brittany said, holding a naked, wet, sobbing Santana tightly to her body.
"I love you so much that sometimes it hurts to function," Santana said, nuzzling into Brittany's chest. Brittany kissed the top of her head.
"And you're just so perfect, Britt," she kissed Brittany's collarbone. "You're perfect and amazing and you have really nice boobs," Santana said, her sobs dying down as she touched Brittany's breasts. Her hand trailed lower. "Also, you have really nice abs," she said, her hand trailing further south. Her sobs had pretty much subsided by now. Brittany smirked as Santana's hand grazed the waistline of her panties. "Also, you…"
"Stop, San," Brittany said, her voice suddenly husky. She leaned down and pulled Santana into a tight, passionate kiss. "Stop," she whispered into her lips, "and just show me how perfect I am…" Santana didn't need to be asked twice.
Much to Rachel's dismay, when she walked into the room, Quinn had not yet gotten changed, and was fixing her makeup in the mirror.
"My mascara is running," she said simply, catching Rachel's reflection in the mirror. Rachel took a sip of the drink she had wisely brought with her.
"You still look beautiful," she said. Okay, maybe not so wisely. "I have to get some clothes," Rachel said, heading over to her open suitcase. She placed her cup on the dresser and stumble to her suitcase. As she leaned over it she suddenly felt fuzzy and realized she was falling. She blindly flailed for the edge of the bed, but thankfully Quinn grabbed her around the waist, steadying her.
"Careful there, tiger," Quinn said, still standing behind Rachel holding her waist tightly.
"I guess I'm drunker than I thought," Rachel mumbled out, her heart threatening to explode out of her chest.
"I think we all drank a little too much," Quinn whispered into Rachel's ear. Rachel turned slowly to face Quinn.
"Yes. We all did. I'm feeling very warm and I suspect it has something to do with he copious amounts of liquor I consumed over the course of the night, unless you've been tinkering with that thermostat again, which really isn't necessary because I was planning on taking the couch tonight since I'm sure it has dried in the 24 hours since champagne was spilled on it." Quinn stepped away from Rachel as she ranted, trying to control the half-smile that played on her lips until Rachel got to the last part.
"You're not sleeping in here?" Quinn said, trying to sound nonchalant.
"No, I'm going to sleep in the living room."
"Why?" Quinn said, casually returning to the mirror to fix her makeup.
"You know why." Quinn caught Rachel's eye in the mirror.
"No, I don't. Friends share beds all the time, Rachel. Why don't you tell me why?"
"I'm not playing this game with you, Quinn. You're drunk and I'm drunk and it's not a good idea…"
"What's not a good idea," Quinn smirked. She didn't know why she was doing this.
"Why are you doing this?" Rachel asked, as though she were reading Quinn's thoughts. "Are you trying to humiliate me? Is this all a game for you, something to entertain yourself with while you wait for your husband to come back? Watch silly little Rachel Berry act like a teenager again and drool all over me and then laugh at her when she's left humiliated, heartbroken and alone?"
"You can't possibly think that, Rachel." Quinn said turning around so she was facing her.
"Well what do you expect me to think, Quinn," Rachel spit her name out like it was venom.
"You think this is fun for me? You think this is easy for me? Well fuck you, Rachel. Spending all this time with you is like stabbing a knife into an open wound, each time reminding me of all the things I've done wrong, all the mistakes I've made, all of the regrets I have to live with day after day. Thirty years of living a life that someone else told me I was supposed to live, and then, for the briefest of moments, getting to pretend that I had made decisions that were true to me, only to have that dream wrenched away at the end of every night. And you think I'm having fun?" Quinn shook her head.
"You're crying." Rachel said softly.
"I'm upset! I-I-" Rachel cut her off, stepping toward her and gently pushing Quinn's body back into the dresser with a searing kiss. Quinn moaned into Rachel's mouth as they slowed the kiss down, pressing soft lips gently together. Rachel began to explore Quinn's lips with her tongue, and their tongues danced softly together, nipping at one another, and then gently massaging as the intensity of the kiss increased. Quinn was now sitting on the dresser, her hands in Rachel's hair as Rachel wrapped her arms around Quinn's waist, holding them close together. Rachel began to kiss down Quinn's jawline, sucking on her neck and collarbone. She felt Quinn's elbow nudge her face gently as she loosened the knot in her towel and let it fall down.
"Fuck," Rachel moaned, moving her head back up to kiss Quinn on the lips. Hearing that word come out of Rachel's mouth, and in that way, Quinn wasn't sure she had ever been so turned on in her life. She ground her hips into Rachel, and Rachel let her left arm trail down to cup Quinn's naked breast. The bucking of Quinn's hips was growing faster and stronger, as were the moans into Rachel's mouth.
"I need you," Quinn whispered. Rachel kissed Quinn's collarbone, and then laid a path of kisses down the middle of Quinn's body. She gently lifted Quinn's right leg and placed it over her shoulder, planting a line of kisses slowly up Quinn's thigh.
"Baby?" Brittany nudged Santana.
"Hm?" Santana mumbled. She had finally fallen asleep.
"I'm thirsty." Santana groaned.
"Okay," she kissed Brittany's neck where her face was buried and peeled herself off of her wife.
"Baby?" Brittany said again.
"Yeah, Britt?" Santana asked, turning around with her hand on the doorknob.
"You should probably put some clothes on. The couch is dry so Rach or Q are probably out there." Santana nodded and grabbed the sheet off the floor and wrapped herself in it. She tiptoed out into the living room, trying her best to be quiet, but apparently their drunken antics from earlier in the evening caused the furniture to all move a few inches to the right and Santana tripped.
"Mother holy fuck!" Santana cried out. She flipped on the light. "Sorry, Rach," she began. The couch was completely empty. Santana's eyes narrowed. She walked down the hall and filled a glass with water for Brittany. She stopped for a moment thinking about walking over to Quinn's room, just to see if she could hear anything. High school Santana would have definitely needed to know, and high school Santana's curiosity was threatening to take over. Adult Santana won though. She realized that she'd rather not have any idea of what was going on in there.
"Here you go, B," Santana said, handing the glass of water to Brittany. She still held the sheet around her body.
"I hate that sheet." Brittany said, trailing her hand along Santana's shoulder. "Your post-sex hair is hot though…I wish you always had post-sex hair…" Santana still sat on the edge of the bed, not replying. "What's wrong?" Brittany asked.
"Rachel is not on the couch." There was a long silence. Santana smiled, picturing Brittany's forehead scrunched in thought, even though her back was to her.
"You think she's with Quinn?" Santana shrugged her shoulders. She let the sheet fall to the floor and crawled into bed. "Don't think too much, tonight. You won't get any sleep. Think in the morning." Santana nodded and turned over so that she was curled up facing Brittany. Brittany kissed her on the lips. "You're sexy," she said, pushing back the covers so more of Santana was exposed. She kissed Santana's neck and lightly ran a finger up Santana's side, sending a shiver down her spine. She rolled her over so that she was on top of her. Santana looked quizzically up at Brittany and pushed her blond hair out of her face.
"I thought you said I should sleep," Santana said.
"I changed my mind," Brittany replied with a devilish grin.
"Oh my God," Quinn moaned, threading her hand through Rachel's hair. Quinn literally thought she had never felt anything this good in her life. Her back was arched so she faced the ceiling and her hand not in Rachel's hair gripped so tightly to the edge of the dresser that her knuckles turned white. "Wait, wait, Rach, stop." Rachel looked up at Quinn, sadness behind her eyes.
"I'm sorry, Quinn, is something wrong, did I do something…"
"Shut up," Quinn said, hopping off of the dresser and gently pushing Rachel back toward the bed. "I don't want to be the only one having fun," she said, taking Rachel's towel off with just one swoop. They crawled back onto the bed, and Rachel positioned her so that she was sitting up and Quinn was straddling her lap. "What are you doing?" Quinn said between kisses.
"Shh…" Rachel said, hungrily kissing Quinn again and pulling her tighter to her body until their centers touched.
"Oh my god," Quinn shuddered out. "You're so…you're so…" Quinn attempted to get the words out, but as their hips settled into a rhythm it became impossible. Quinn shut her eyes tightly as they moved as a unit. For a fraction of a second Quinn thought about tomorrow, but Rachel pressed her forehead against Quinn's and thrust against her again and the thought disappeared.