Disclaimer: As usual, I do not own Criminal Minds.

YOU CAN'T DENY IT.

Emily barely saw JJ for the remainder of that day; she had purposely kept herself to herself. The blonde was never far from her thoughts though, and that, joined with trying to figure out who the hell was sending her flowers and ominous messages, as well as the constant niggle of JJ's imminent date with Will, left Emily desperately craving the escape of her apartment; the seclusion and the safety that it's walls provided. The relentless pace of her mind was tiring in itself, but having to pretend that there was nothing bothering her in a room full of profilers was becoming exhausting.

Finally making it home, Emily breathed a visible sigh of relief and felt her whole body relax with the click of her front door behind her. After showering and changing into something more comfortable, the brunette poured herself a glass of red wine, curled up on her sofa and just watched the world drift by through her floor to ceiling height windows that overlooked DC.

JJ would love this.. She imagined herself sat with the blonde's head resting gently on her lap, neither saying a word but simply enjoying the comfortable silence and the peaceful view before them; together. But as beautiful as that image was, it was also incredible sadistic too - why was her mind constantly conjuring up things simply to hurt her?

Sighing heavily, Emily shook away her thoughts and searched for something, anything, else. Little did she know, that that would be the only moment in all of this where she was grateful for the puzzle that was the two gifts that she had received since last night.

Heading to the kitchen and then to her jacket in the hall, Emily collected the two cards that she'd received along with the flowers before heading back to the sofa. A little more relaxed, she figured she'd have more chance of deciphering the messages. It was blatantly obvious that something wasn't quite right; her profiler sense was tingling and as she read through each word, a shiver ran down her spine at the idea of the whole thing. Not only did whoever was sending them know where she lived, they also knew where she worked and that was something that chilled Emily to the core. That was where her family was.

The brunette, after her failed attempt earlier that day, had decided against sharing her concern with her friends, or letting them in on the fact that it wasn't the first gift. Though a part of it was simply her being stubborn since Morgan had teased her so much, for the most part, it was fear. She recognised the words that she'd read over and over, and though for the life of her she couldn't figure out why, they brought with them the feeling of dread. Her past was nothing if not paved with mines, and until she'd made the connection and figured just how much danger they lead to, she wasn't about to bring her friends in. She couldn't risk that.

Staring at the cards in front her, she briefly entertained the idea of bringing JJ in on her concern; very briefly, but that's all it took to shatter her relaxed state of mind. Why was it that every damn thought that she had ultimately lead her back to JJ? She missed her old self. She missed the days when JJ brought out confidence and a strange sense of contentment in her - where the hell had that gone? Oh, that's right; it had disappeared along with her dignity in the moment that she allowed herself to become a fuck buddy.

With her previously relaxed, clear mind plagued beyond repair once again, she threw the cards to the coffee table and flicked on the television in the hope of silencing her brain - but it was no good. She knew exactly where JJ was tonight and her torturous mind wasn't about to let her forget it.

Over and over, her mind ran with thoughts of JJ and Will. What were they doing right now? Was she fucking him in the very bed that she had fucked her? Was his lips tasting places that she wished only she was allowed to taste? Was he causing the delectable sounds that she herself reveled in each time that she touched JJ?

But as the moving images lingered uninvited in her brain, it dawned on Emily that she had no right to be jealous. No right at all. She had agreed to this. Wasn't she the one who was so desperate not to relinquish JJ's touch that she resigned herself to a constant loop of torture? Wasn't she the one who had been constantly telling JJ with her silence that she absolutely did not care what she did? What right did she have to be angry, when technically, she herself had been the one to break the rules by falling for JJ?

All of that was true, but it was also true that she couldn't do it any longer; she couldn't pretend that she was happy with a meaningless fuck every now and then. There was only one way out of this now. Whether she told JJ of her feelings or not, their agreement had to come to an end. For good. She wasn't sure how she'd breathe without the drug that she had become used to, and she wasn't excited about the awkward path that this lead them down professionally, but it couldn't be any worse than this. If you love something, you should let it free.. and she planned to do just that.

Either disregarding or completely forgetting the fact that JJ was with Will, she scrolled through her phone but as soon as she saw JJ's name written in white - pure, innocent white - on her screen, she stopped. Who are you kidding, Emily? Her brain taunted. You know very well that as soon as she answers this call, you'll make up some bullshit story about work.

That was all it took. That one brief hesitation and her mind had found it's way in; worming through her courage like a parasite, sucking her of every ounce of strength until she found the off button and held it down, almost crushing the phone in her palm as her last tendrils of strength abandoned her. If anyone needed her, they could call her home phone - she just, for the first time, wholly hoped that that someone wouldn't be JJ.