Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds. Nope.

THE COMFORT OF FAMILIARITY

JJ's mouth opened and then closed again, and then opened.. The words just wouldn't come. When Emily had interrupted her lunch break, those certainly were not the words that she had expected to hear - hoped for them, yes, but expected them, definitely not. And now that she had them, she had no damn clue what to do with them. They were just words, right? Nothing major? Except it was major, and huge, and everything that she would have wanted to hear had her call actually gone through last night and she had actually been able to make her own confessions.

But now.. "I.."

Before JJ had chance to even consider adding more to that barely-a-sentence sentence, there was a brief knock at the door followed immediately by a flash of red hair bursting through.

"Ready to grab some food, Jayje?" Garcia asked, oblivious to what she had just interrupted.

Emily looked to Garcia, then back to JJ before shaking her head and muttering to neither of them in particular. "I-I should go. Ton of paper work, ya know." She smiled despite herself and before JJ could stop her, she fled the room.

Both women watched Emily's retreating form; Garcia feeling like she'd completely missed something, JJ completely lost.

"What.. was that about? Why do I get the feeling that I chose the most inopportune moment to walk in here?" Garcia questioned looking back towards JJ, who's eyes were still fixed firmly in the direction that Emily had gone.

Sighing, JJ replied. "It's nothing, honestly. Shall we head out?" But it wasn't nothing; it was everything, and that everything had probably disappeared so far back inside herself that she would never find her again.

Grabbing the blonde's arm as she began to leave the room, Garcia stopped her. "No, no, no. You don't get out of it that easily."

JJ simply looked at her with a pleading look; begging her not to go there.

"Okay, sweetie. I won't push. But you can tell me anything. You know that, right?"

The blonde gave Garcia a relieved and grateful smile. "I know."

CM-CM-CM

By the time she had taken a seat at her desk, Emily's mind had already began to track over everything that had just unfolded. Maybe Garcia's interruption had been a blessing in disguise; maybe not knowing was better than rejection. Ignorance is, after all, bliss.

But a few minutes later as she looked up just as Garcia and JJ exited through the bull pen, that ignorance was shattered. She could see Garcia talking but the blonde wasn't paying attention. Instead, she was staring directly towards her. Emily felt trapped in those never-ending pools of blue and after a second, she looked down towards the papers in front of her until she was certain the pair had left. She couldn't take looking and not seeing any longer, because that's exactly what it was. Whether it was her own fear or her own hope causing it, she could not for the life of her figure out what was going on in JJ's mind.

CM-CM-CM

Outside, as the two women left the building and headed towards JJ's car, Garcia, unable to resist, began again. "I know I said I wouldn't push, but I'm not blind. And I think you could use a little guidance."

JJ stopped in her tracks. What does she mean she's not blind?

"Oh, come on." Garcia put her hands on her hips. "What was I talking about as we passed a certain brunette's desk?"

JJ said nothing; she couldn't because she honestly didn't know the answer. What she did know though, is that her silence had pretty much just proved any point that Garcia was attempting to make and she sighed in anticipation of the direction that she knew they were heading.

"Exactly. Second question. What shirt did Emily were to work, I dunno.. What the hell, let's say.. Last Friday?"

JJ couldn't help but smile at the thought. She remembered exactly what shirt Emily wore to work last Friday, and she remembered vividly how well it's deep red colour contrasted beautifully with her pale skin as she peeled it from her.

"Thought so. And my third and final question. Before I rudely interrupted, what was it that she said that has you on an entirely different planet right now?"

With that, JJ's smile just disappeared, just fell from her face like it had never been there. Not because the memory of hearing those words was negative, but because she knew that answering this final question would change everything. Silences; she could pretend were something else. Words; she could never take back.

Taking a deep breath, JJ answered, her words barely above a whisper. "She told me that she's in love with me."

"Wow.." Somehow, Garcia had not expected that. "I know I said that was my final question, but you do understand that I can't keep my word on that one now, right?"

That was what JJ was afraid of. With that, she raised an eyebrow at her friend, and continued to head towards her car; an almost excited Garcia following.

CM-CM-CM

After 30 minutes, the brunette finally realised that she'd read the same line at least fifty times and dropped her pen to her desk, flopped back in her chair and rubbed her temples. She had royally fucked up. Yesterday, she was certain that this couldn't get any worse, but somehow she had proved herself wrong.

Feeling a hands grasp suddenly at her shoulder, Emily jumped, breathing a sigh of relief as she turned to see Morgan standing behind her.

"How did it go?" He questioned, a concerned tone to his voice as he took in the clearly non-loved-up appearance of his friend.

"How do you think?" Emily replied more harsh than she'd intended before letting her head fall forward into her hands for a second. Finally - realising that Morgan wasn't the only profiler around - she brushed those hands through her hair and lifted her head with a whole new perspective that she didn't even believe. "It doesn't matter. It's done now. It's over. And I can get back to having some normality in my life."

Before the other agent had the chance to say a word, Emily rose to her feet and headed out of the bullpen. She stopped at a vending machine to grab a drink and then continued on her journey to no particular destination. She just needed to be alone. She needed to replace a little more organisation to her thoughts that were currently scattered across the floor of her brain like thousands of tiny pins, poking and prodding her and reminding her that she should have listened long ago. She needed to get back to who she used to be before she had allowed herself to ruin a perfectly good friendship just for the sake of a shrouded love affair with JJ that shouldn't have actually involved the L word at all. She needed to be able to focus on her career, not pine over what she would never have. She needed to be able crawl back into her ignorant pit and lay to rest everything that Jennifer had disturbed.

After wondering aimlessly for a while, she came to a few seats situated in front of a large window and opted for taking a seat to finish her drink.

She simply allowed herself to think for a while; really think. She thought about how it would have been had Garcia not interrupted her conversation with JJ. Maybe the blonde felt the same? Emily liked that thought, but she couldn't dwell too much on maybe. Giving herself false hope would only cause her more pain and she didn't need much more of that right now. So after a further ten minutes of nothing but solid thinking, of entertaining those maybes, she closed up. Just like she had done long ago, long before JJ had tore down her walls. She smiled one last time at the thought of JJ reciprocating her feelings, at the thought of them being together, properly together, before placing the blonde into one of her many compartments; one at the very, very back of her mind, and locked her away completely.

Forever.

With an almost relieved sigh and the welcome realisation that she'd regained some control of her emotions, Emily stood, threw her empty can in the trash can, and headed back to the bullpen. She'd not been gone all that long, but she figured that if she didn't head back soon, someone would notice and ask questions; it was bad enough that Morgan knew and honestly, now that there really was no story to tell, any questions would just be salt to the wounds that she had just semi-healed.

She entered the bull pen with a new confidence; her old faithful skills had returned in full form. Or so she thought.

Smiling at Morgan who reciprocated with a confused look on his face, presumably at the sudden change in her behaviour, she took a seat at her desk. She didn't notice it at first, she was reveling too much in the comfort of familiarity; in the comfort of feeling herself again. Finally. But as she reached for her pen, she saw the folded piece of paper with her name written across it and her smile faded.

For a split second she assumed that it was another of the ominous messages that she' had been receiving as of late and goosebumps rose across every inch of her skin, but with a closer look, she realised that she recognised the handwriting. It was JJ's, and that didn't bring about a much better reaction in the profiler. Feeling as though her heart had forced it's way to her throat, Emily apprehensively reached for and unfolded the note, all sensible thought leaving her mind as she read over the words.

'I don't want this anymore, either. You've always been more than a cheap fuck to me, always been more than I could ever tell you other than with my body. I'm not good at that, Emily. I don't know how to tell people that I hold genuine feelings for them because I've never really had them. But I'm telling you now..

I'm in love with you, too. I want all of you.'