Author's Note: I guess I disappeared again. Just a bit. ;) I suppose life just gets in the way sometimes. Anyway, I have the next few chapters of this planned, but not complete, so if you have any preferences on what you'd like to see, be sure to let me know! And as always; read and review. :)

Disclaimer: Do not own the show, yada yada yada..

SHE'S WORTH IT

One by one, each member of the team, sans Emily, paid a visit to a now coherent JJ. The usual pleasantries you'd expect from such a situation were exchanged; none of them wanting to push her too hard, despite their obvious questions and queries.

JJ herself didn't have much to say; obviously distracted by the events of the past several hours – particularly one brunette. Even with the fact that her own life had been put in danger and that she'd only mildly escaped death, the one prominent constant in her mind was still Emily. She'd asked how she was doing of course, but nothing much further than that. She hadn't asked for details on Emily's injuries, or even how she had gotten them; mostly because she didn't have the mental capacity at that very moment to handle knowing any more than that she would make a full recovery. Of course, there were ten thousand questions currently swirling around in her beautiful mind, but it's also true that there was one very good reason as to why she was certain that she shouldn't care for their answers.

"Garcia, stop fussing." The blonde mildly scolded the redhead who was up and down like a yo-yo fetching her drinks that she hadn't asked for and fixing pillows that she hadn't complained about.

Sitting instantly, the technical analyst replied. "Sorry sweetie. I'm just so glad that you're okay. When I think about-"

"Stop. Please. I'm fine, we're fine." She paused briefly and looked down at her hands. "Emily's fine."

The sudden change in JJ's tone hadn't gone unnoticed by Garcia, and she placed her own hand on the blonde's. "Emily is fine, Jayje. Would you like to visit her?"

JJ's eyes suddenly filled with tears. She honestly didn't know the answer to that question. Did she want to visit her? Did she even want anything more to do with her? At this moment in time, JJ didn't have a clue what she wanted; her mouth opened and closed as answers were briefly considered but discarded until she finally settled on a barely audible whisper of, "No, it's fine."

Watching the blonde with quizzical eyes, Garcia knew that there was so much going on in the smaller woman's brain, so much plaguing her; more so than the whirlwind of extraordinary and life-threatening events that she had just endured. "What is it, honey?"

At that question, and the realisation of the answers, walls immediately formed around JJ. Shaking her head and placing a smile firmly on her lips, she replied. "Nothing. I'm fine."

Fine; that seemed to be the word of the conversation right now. But JJ was far from fine – she was heartbroken and lost. Was she really just a fuck to Emily? She thought that she knew this woman that she had been sleeping with for the better part of three months; but did she? Was it all just an act? And, what? The 'I love you' was just the final joke that she herself was the punchline to?

She may have confided in Garcia before, but right now she felt too stupid to even consider it. She thought herself to be a fairly intelligent woman, one who could read most of the countries serial killers without even breaking a mental sweat; but somehow, she'd missed any tell-tale signs that Emily was using her in some kind of twisted game.

"JJ-"

"Garcia. I'm fine." She made eye contact with her friend once more, except this time her eyes weren't the usual soft blue that brings automatic comfort to anyone around her; they're were fierce and serious. She knew that she was being unnecessarily harsh to the redhead, but she was done with this conversation. "As long as she's alive, there really is nothing more to talk about. Now, I need to get some rest."

Garcia didn't want to leave but she took the hint and rose from her seat. The blonde's harsh tone had hurt, obviously, but she could see that her pain paled in comparison to JJ's right now, and after a brief pause as she searched, and failed, for something, anything, to say, she left the room.

Now alone in the deafening silence of the hospital room, JJ had nothing but her thoughts to keep her company; and they weren't very friendly company. Perhaps she needed that time, though. She needed to understand what the hell had happened between her and Emily – whether it meant as much to the brunette as it did to her. Whether it even meant anything at all.

Opening heavy lidded eyes, JJ caught a glimpse of something that she wasn't expecting in those of the brunette. Was that sadness? She wasn't sure. Somewhat reluctantly stilling the hand inside her, she whispered. "Baby, what's wrong?"

But as she asked the question, she visibly saw Emily's jaw lock and that sadness turn to fear; like she had just been caught doing something that she shouldn't have. And as she watched the older woman a little longer, trying desperately to catch any one of the emotions that seemed to fly from her face like a flock of disturbed birds, sudden words caught her off guard.

"You are so beautiful."

JJ wrapped the thin hospital blanket around her a little more at the thought, as though protecting herself from a memory that, if Emily really was using her, was bound to hurt her for a long time to come. Though, is that really something that you say if you really don't care about someone? And.. why would she have looked so sad? Perhaps guilt, if the older woman did indeed have the capacity for such an emotion.

Upon further over-analysing, JJ came to realise that there were so many times that she had seen that look in Emily's eyes, so many times that she had felt that she should have asked what was troubling her, but didn't. Instead she had ignored it and continued chasing her orgasm or distracting herself with whatever case was at hand. At the time, she had been so certain that that look was an indication of an imminent end and she hadn't wanted to face it, but now she was sure that it was a result of something else..

JJ's eyes filled with tears once more at the thought; partly because if Emily really didn't care about her in that way, she knew that she was just making more of an idiot of herself by even contemplating that she might, and partly because if Emily did care, she knew that she could have ruined it all by not taking the time to ask one simple question. Above all else though, regardless of Emily's feelings, she regretted not having been a friend to her. Before they had started whatever this had been between them, they had been inseparable; they drank wine, and shared stories, and laughed. They laughed a lot. She couldn't speak for Emily, but JJ had always taken something from the brunette's presence that left her feeling, quite simply, wonderful - until they had begun sleeping together, at least. Until the escape became the only important thing between them, almost as though it really was a drug; it was the only thing that mattered.

The phrase 'friends with benefits' kind of loses its meaning if you're not actually friends with benefits.

The knock at the door shook her from her daydream, though a part of her was grateful for it. She knew only too well how her mind likes to overanalyse sometimes, and for a second she found herself envious of Emily's coma – if only she had such respite from her thoughts.

Shaking her head at such a ridiculous notion and pushing herself up on the bed, she swiped the stray tears from her face and called to the faceless presence at the door. "Come in."

A head poked around the slightly ajar door and a bright white smile flashed before her. "Hey, Jayje. I just thought I'd come check on my favourite blonde." He felt somewhat safe from mild acts of violence in saying that, given that Garcia was a redhead this week.

JJ's lips formed a warm smile and she felt a sudden sense of comfort in Morgan's presence. He was like an older brother to her, protective and safe, and though she'd all but forced Garcia to leave, she was grateful for the company. Sometimes, particularly in the times when you don't want to be alone but also don't want to be asked questions, it's nice to be in the company of someone who isn't your go-to person.

"Listen, baby girl." Morgan perched himself on the edge of the bed. "I spoke to Penelope."

JJ rolled her eyes at the statement. So he's here to pick up where she left off. So much for being grateful for his company.

The petulant eye-rolling wasn't lost on Morgan and he decided to try this a different way and made no attempt to keep the annoyance out of his voice. "Do you know what happened to Emily? Do you know why she's in a coma?"

The blonde's heart jumped to her throat; she didn't know, but she wasn't sure that she wanted to. Shifting slightly on the bed, her eyes fell to her fumbling hands once again, but still she said nothing.

"Sweetie, she took a bullet to the chest." Morgan searched JJ's face for any tell-tale signs of what she was thinking, though it wouldn't take an expert. He didn't need to know what had happened in that room to know that Emily was the queen of avoidance – the duchess of messing up anything that involves breaking down the wall surrounding her heart. And he continued; Emily was in a coma but he wasn't, and perhaps he could fix this for her before she woke up. "A bullet that was meant for you.."

The small woman's tear-filled eyes shot up to meet Morgan's; somehow, she seemed both physically pained and relieved by his statement. She took a bullet for me? And then it dawned on her. You don't do that for someone who you just sleep with occasionally..

"You don't take a bullet for someone you don't care about."

Though Morgan's words reflected JJ's thoughts, told her what she'd already concluded; she had needed to hear them. There was plenty that still didn't make sense, though, and a small frown formed against her beautiful skin. "But Morgan.. It's the same."

Not just slightly confused, Morgan responded. "W-what's the same?"

"The situation. I'm the same as Sarah. Heh.." A humourless laugh left her lips as she truly heard the words. "I am just another Sarah."

Smiling slightly, the dark agent reassured. "Listen to me. Emily is a world of messed up. We both know that. But she's got a beautiful heart, Jayje." He reached out to lift JJ's chin to meet his gaze. "A heart that is completely yours. You need to fight for her. She's worth it, baby girl."