Author's Note: I'm afraid that this is the penultimate chapter. I can't believe I've been writing this on and off for over two years now. But yeah, I think it's most definitely run it's course and there's not really anywhere else I can take it.

Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds.

WAKE UP

JJ wanted to cry; is that really all she thinks I want? And before she could stop herself, her thoughts left her lips in a whisper, "Is that all you think you are to me?"

Emily didn't know what to do with the question. Truth is, that is all she had ever felt she was to most people, and considering JJ's admission to Sarah, what was she supposed to think? She wasn't stupid, and she herself had said words primarily to get them out of that situation, but her frustrating determination to keep her heart protected prevented her from seeing the situation with clarity.

She bit her lip, her eyes tentatively locking with the blonde's; she looked like a lost child. "Yes."

That one word stung more than JJ thought possible, but the sadness evident in the brunette's eyes softened the slight surge of anger and defensiveness that washed through her. Taking a step forward and placing a hand on Emily's arm, JJ asked, "Why, Emily?"

Emily watched JJ for a few seconds and then began to pace, "I want out of this elevator." And want out, she did. The enclosed space was beginning to feel claustrophobic; only made worse by a certain blonde and her questions. Did she really care to know the answer? And furthermore, did Emily herself want to face the possibility that what JJ had said to Sarah was true? Yeah, that is what she was thinking anyway, but that wouldn't ease the pain of having it confirmed.

JJ could see the panic in Emily, and in an attempt to ease it, she pressed a few buttons on the elevator; the doors opening immediately. "You can go, Emily."

The blonde had given her an out, and as the brunette took steps towards the doors, JJ was certain that she'd chosen to take it. The disappointment was evident on her face as Emily turned around, and the question that left the brunette's mouth was far from expected, "Why did you stay with me?"

It took every ounce of Emily's bravery to ask that question. She spent her life tracking down the countries most hardened criminals, dealing with the sickest minds – but when it came to discussing her feelings, she was lost.

JJ felt suddenly relieved - it wasn't just a question, it was the perfect segue into the conversation that they so clearly needed to have. "I stayed, Emily," JJ stepped forward and took Emily's hand, "because where else would I be?"

Emily's features softened further as her eyes fixed on the blonde's hand on hers.

"Emily, look at me." It was a demand really, but the words were spoken softly. And as brown eyes met blue, JJ reached up her hand and brushed the brunette's still damp hair from her face. The anger that the blonde had felt just moments before had washed away. "What is it?"

"I remember everything, JJ. The damp smell of the room, the feel of the rope cutting into my wrists, the gunshot." Emily looked up at her for the first time. "What you told Sarah when you thought I was unconscious.."

A bulb seemed to light in JJ's brain, and her face contorted into an expression somewhere between gentle and confused. How could Emily, one of the best minds in the FBI, not consider the possibility that JJ's words were nothing more than a psychological game? "Is that what this is about baby?" No wonder she thinks I only want sex from her, she scolded herself.

Emily sucked her lip between her teeth, words failing her. The expression on JJ's face bothered her, and she immediately felt ridiculous. She knew she should have trusted JJ and have given her the benefit of the doubt, but when you've spent your whole life protecting your heart, and feeling like you're worth only what people can use you for; anything beyond questioning your self-worth doesn't come naturally.

Shaking her head, Emily began to backtrack; her defensive nature taking a hold once more. "It doesn't matter JJ." She smiled. "I should let you get back to work."

And that's when JJ saw the truth – Emily was just as afraid as her. "I do have to get these papers back to Hotch." It wasn't what she wanted to say. What she really wanted was to stay, to get to the bottom of this mess that they'd somehow fallen into, but she didn't have a choice. And even if she did, she wanted to see if Emily was willing to fight for her, or if her fears were enough to prevent her from going after what she wanted.

Emily never flinched, her defenses firmly in place. "Yeah, of course." She spoke as she stepped out of the elevator.

But JJ could see straight through them. "You know where I am." She left the ball effectively in Emily's court; hoping that she wouldn't regret it. Stepping forward and placing a soft kiss to Emily's cheek, the blonde whispered, "Please, Em. Wake up."

And with that, she slipped her hand into her pocket, retrieving the note that she'd not had chance to give to the brunette at the hospital, and had carried with her ever since as some kind of physical form of hope. She slid it into the pocket of Emily's jacket, before stepping back just in time for the doors to close in front of her – to close on her life; both metaphorically and physically. She only hoped that soon enough, they'd open again.

Standing on the other side of the doors, Emily watched them close, JJ's whispered words still ringing deafeningly loud through her ears.

After making her way back to her apartment, feeling somehow more empty than she had since she woke up; she placed her hand in the pocket that she'd been holding since she'd felt the blondes own small hand there, and pulled out the worn, folded piece of paper.

'Emily' was scrawled across the front, and with her heart in her throat she unfolded the note and trailed her eyes over the words that she was dreading.

Emily,

You're sleeping as I write this. I'd rather say that you're sleeping; it makes it seem somewhat more peaceful than the truth. A truth that, I know, is a result of your innate need to protect everyone – to protect me. I'm forever indebted to you for that, Emily.

Falling for you was never my plan, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't know it was going to happen. A part of me always did – a part of me already had, long before this, between you and I, began.

And now you're lying in a hospital bed, and I have never felt more conflicted in my life. You're there, and I hate the pain that you must have felt, and will feel once you wake up. Yet, a small part of me takes comfort from you being there - from knowing that if you didn't love me as much as you do, you wouldn't be there. Does that make me a bad person?

I'm sure it does, but I like to think that everything happens for a reason and I know you think the same. Which is why I know this will make sense to you.

I'll be honest; I was more than a little lost when I woke up, more than a little hurt. I was so sure that I'd gotten all of this wrong – so sure that I was nothing but a game to you, a conquest. And then I saw you lying there, lifeless, a result of what you feel for me and everything made sense again, everything was clear. I'm so sorry for doubting you, Emily. I'm so sorry for letting her win, even if it was just momentarily.

I'm sure – or rather, I hope – that your dreams are being kind to you right now. But baby, I need you to wake up. I need you here. I promise to make reality sweeter than anything you could be dreaming. Please, Em? Wake up.

I love you. I need you.

- Jennifer

"Please, Em. Wake up." And wake up, she did.

She was somewhere between relief and guilt, joy and pain. She'd always known that she wasn't the type to wear her heart on her sleeve, and that it didn't take much to drag her back into her old ways after she'd taken a few baby steps forward – but when had protecting her heart effectively turned into destroying it? She had been so set on keeping her defenses high and her emotions at bay, that she hadn't stopped to consider what she was losing in the process, what she was doing to JJ.

She hadn't stopped to consider the tiny, but now very real, possibility that perhaps someone loved her just as she was, and wanted her - not because of the lifestyle her wealth could provide, or because they had an itch that they just couldn't scratch themselves - but because she was someone that made their world a much brighter place just by being a part of it.

It was all new to her, and she felt her defenses slowly crumbling.

Pulling her phone from her pocket, she ran with this new bravery before it had chance to disappear. Upon reading a text from Morgan – Should I be writing out a will sometime in the very near future? – she hit call. "Hey Morgan, is JJ still at the office?"

"Hey Prentiss. No, none of us are. Hotch sent us home for the rest of the day. I was heading back to yours actually. But by the sounds of it.. I shouldn't bother?" There was hope in his voice.

"You shouldn't. Well.. I don't think you should. I don't know." She paused for a second. "I think I messed up big time Morgan."

"Yep. But lucky for you, that girl loves the ass off you."

She couldn't help the smile, and she hoped beyond hope that he was right. But really, she knew he was.

"Go get her, Princess."

Author's Note 2: I'm debating whether to watch the Olympic Closing Ceremony tonight or get straight on with writing the next and final chapter. I'll see how nice I'm feeling. :)