Chapter Fifty-five;

"Alright, this is a quick-fire set of questions. I'll ask you to list some things; the other must stay quiet until his turn, okay?" Alex explained, hoping they would understand, he really was no good at explaining things.

"Alright." Sirius answered, smiling.

"Hmph." Severus grunted his agreement.

"Excellent! We'll start then!" Alex said, shuffling through his papers.

"Um… Mr. Bla—uh, Sirius, you'll go first. Name three things you like about Severus and why you like those things." Alex said.

Severus snorted as he leaned in to watch Sirius as he answered. Sirius gave him a glare. "Alright, I can do this." He muttered, biting his bottom lip in thought. "Okay… uh, he's really… smart. You know, like, knows a lot of big words and stuff."

"Big words and stuff?" Severus scowled.

"Severus, you can't speak." Alex reminded him.

"Hmph." Severus grunted, leaning back against the couch.

"I mean, he's intelligent! Uh, with potions, and dark arts, and spells, and things." Sirius said, sighing and running a hand through his short hair. "Can I move onto the next thing?"

"Yes." Alex said, smiling.

"Alright, um… good conversation." Sirius muttered, nodding his head. "I never get bored in a conversation with Severus; he keeps things entertaining, even when he's insulting me." He said, smiling.

"Good… conversation?" Severus said, sighing.

"Severus…" Alex said, frowning.

"Right, apologies." Severus said before letting Sirius continue.

"You know what? I'm trying to compliment you, but now I don't care. You know why I'm with him? He has a great arse. Have you seen him bend over?" Sirius asked.

Severus gaped, hitting the back of Sirius' head. "Hey!"

"What? You don't like what I have to say about your personality!"

"That doesn't mean you blurt out such things! To a newspaper none the less!"

"Hmph."

"Hmph!" Severus grunted right back, crossing his arms.

Alex watched the couple in amusement, his quill scribbling quickly to keep up. "Um… okay, Severus your turn."

Severus nodded his head and smirked at Sirius. "Alright, three things you like about Sirius." Alex said, his quill readying itself.

"Three things I like about the mutt. Hmmm… His body, idiocy, and of course the money." Severus answered quickly.

Sirius widened his eyes. "What?"

"Um…" Alex hummed.

"What? Look at this" Severus gestured to Sirius. "Even back during school, six years of Quidditch paid off immensely." Severus commented.

"Oh please, you're just saying that because I said your arse." Sirius groaned.

"Be quiet, you're not supposed to be talking. Mr. Marks, yell at him." Severus said, glaring.

Alex widened his eyes. "Sirius, please be quiet."

"Ugh…" Sirius groaned.

"Care to elaborate more, Severus?" Alex asked, frowning.

"His idiocy because even if I lost half my brain function, I could still speak to him and confuse the hell out of him, or twist things to where he cannot understand them." Severus said.

"Oi! You can—"

"Sirius…" Alex frowned.

"Hmph."

"Right, and his money because – who doesn't want to be rich?" Severus asked, giving a smile.

"You git." Sirius hissed.

"Um… Uh, can we move on?" Alex asked, and with both nods, Alex shuffled his papers.

He frowned; he was really going to regret asking this. "Sirius, three… three dislikes about Severus."

Sirius' face broke into a grin. "Dislikes? Oh, right, this will be easy. There are many of them to choose from, you know." Sirius spat. "His attitude – what was I bloody thinking when I married a man as acerbic – yes, I know big words too – as him." He said, shrugging his shoulders. "Thinking with my prick I guess, 'eh?" He joked, smirking. "How he makes things up in his head. He sees something, he doesn't ask about it, he just assumes and then goes off into his own world, completely ignoring you, and never telling you what you did wrong, leaving you completely lost." He ranted, shaking his head. "Hm, something else. Don't get me started on his hair. Abhorrent." He muttered, rolling his eyes and then running a hand down his face.

Alex blinked as he listened to the outburst, then turned to look at Severus who was sitting stiffly next to Sirius, his arms crossed tightly over his chest and his gaze was towards the ground, almost frowning. "Okay… uh, Severus, your turn… I guess." He muttered, stopping his quill.

"I have nothing to say." Severus muttered.

Alex raised his eyebrow. "Nothing to say?"

Severus stayed quiet, refusing to answer. "Come on, start blurting out how you hate how stupid I am, and that I don't take things seriously or something." Sirius spat.

"I don't dislike anything about you…" Severus said, frowning.

"Oh bullshit!" Sirius said, glaring. "Come on, tell him how stupid I am compared to the other professors, and what a cretin I am."

"You're not stupid, if you were stupid, Minerva would've never chosen you to be her successor. And I like any of your flaws anyway, you git." Severus spat, pushing off the couch and walking into their bedrooms, slamming the door.

Sirius stared at the door, frowning. "This interview is over, I'm sorry, Mr. Marks."

"It's uh, fine, sir. I'll just let myself out." He muttered, standing up and grabbing his things and walking out the door.

Sirius sighed and put his head in his hand, thinking about what he should do now, he could go into the bedroom and probably get hexed by Severus, or he could—his thoughts were interrupted by the bedroom opening, he smiled and looked up just to be hit in the face with a pillow and blanket and then the door being shut again. Sirius stared down at the pillow and growled. "What the hell? I'm not sleeping on the couch!" He shouted at the door, but got no response. He sighed and grabbed the pillow and put it on the couch, sprawling out and staring up at the ceiling until his eyes drooped and he finally fell asleep.