Chapter 2

Tony hadn't seen Angela the last few days. She was on a business trip to land another million dollar account. In their earlier days he might have accompanied her, but things were different now. She hadn't even told him how long she would be away; that information he had to glean from Mona. Also Andy wouldn't like to know his fiancée was accompanied by the housekeeper. While Angela was away Tony had set something in motion; something he thought he would never have to do. He had looked for a new place to live and had found something, surprisingly fast. One of his fellow students was moving to another state and he could take his apartment.

Angela came home hours later, exhausted but contented by the winning of another new campaign. She was surprised to find Tony sitting on the couch, obviously waiting for her. She placed her coat on the rack and walked over to him. He didn't look well, it seemed he last shaved a day ago and his eyes were blood-shot; he was awkwardly calm.

"Tony, you're still up. It's late."

"Well, I thought I would pick you up from the airport but Andy called and told me he wanted to do that."

"Uuhm, yes. He was there, but he doesn't want to come in, it's so late."

"Angela, I know you're tired but I need to tell you something and I can't wait any longer," Tony bit on his bottom lip.

"What is it, Tony?" She asked, her eyes in amazement. She sat down beside him trying to catch his eyes but he glanced to the floor.

"Angela, there is no denying it, I can't stay here any longer. I'm going to move out. I found an apartment near Ridgemont where I can move in tomorrow. I could come over to clean the house until you find someone new, but only if you insist. There are only a few weeks until my graduation and I can live on my savings for that short time. You know yourself that I can't stay here when you… when you and Andy get married. It wouldn't be right and I'm sure he doesn't want me around and as a matter of fact: I don't want to be around anymore." He looked at her, his once warm brown eyes emotionless and vacant.

"You're doing what?" Angela was appalled. It had never entered her mind that he would move out. He was always there for her. She knew he was right. How could he live here and make breakfast for Andy and her in the morning? Dinner in the evening? There would be one man too many. And she had chosen Andy. Not that she had a real choice but she wanted to go on with her life and Tony had chosen to go on another path. With someone else. Yes, Kathleen was gone but Angela had no doubts that there would be another woman soon. "I don't know what to say… I knew this time would come but I …, "she stopped, a big lump was forming in her throat, "can I do something for you?"

"No Angela, you've done so much for me all these years," he rose off the couch, "I just stayed up to tell you." He gave her a deep glance, secretly wishing she would try to hold him back and telling him she had made a mistake, but she just looked at him with wide eyes. He turned around and without another word he went upstairs and closed the door behind him.

Angela had been left confused in the living room. For the first time she realized the massive changes in her life which would come when Andy became her husband. Waking up in the morning not to see Tony at first but Andy. Andy in her kitchen. No, in Tony's kitchen. How could it ever be the kitchen of anyone else? No family breakfasts on Saturday mornings which had become usual after Sam's move out. The five of them would never be together. Never again. Angela swallowed and closed her eyes for a moment. This would be harder than she thought. She had to think about whether or not it would be better to sell the house and buy something new in the city. If it only didn't hold so many memories. Memories of a perfect family life. Angela loved this house. Although she and Michael, her first husband, had bought it so many years ago, she had always thought of it as belonging more to Tony and herself.

Tony hadn't slept a wink. He got up and started packing his utensils in boxes at four in the morning. There weren't many things to pack. He wondered at how few possessions a man needed to live, but at this place people had been always more important than property. The biggest box was for his cups and sports trophies. So many memories. Memories of Marie and the time he was married to her. She had supported him during his short but successful baseball career like Angela had supported him with going back to college. And what had he done? He had thanked her by dating another woman! What kind of jerk was he? He deserved what had happened. That was as sure as the amen in church. All the packing lasted not longer than an hour.

Tony left his room and paused for a moment in the hallway. This house had been always a place where a man could find his peace even though it was never quiet when the children were little. He went over to Jonathan's room and carefully opened the door. He saw the blonde tousled hair of his son. Well, his almost son. Last evening he had talked to him and told him about his move out. Jonathan had been shocked but was calmed down by Tony who assured him he would always be there for him. He had almost chosen the same words like so many years ago when Jonathan had tried to pair him up with Angela on Valentine's Day. It had felt equally wrong, just like the first time. Even then Tony wanted to explain so much more and would have liked to say that there would come a time Angela and he would be a couple. At the age of seventeen Jonathan had of course more comprehension, but Tony could see how sad the boy was. Closing the door he stared over to Angela's door.

One last time he wanted to watch her in her sleep and opened her bedroom door carefully. She was lying on her stomach, her face turned to his side. She seemed to sleep peacefully and was visibly unaware of his presence. How beautiful she was. He dared to come closer to her bed and noticed her disarrayed bed clothes. Tissues were left everywhere on her night stand, evidencing her bad night. When she started tossing he stepped back and left her room. He inhaled deeply and stepped down the stairs.

The kitchen was spotless like always. He wondered if everyone would come for their last common breakfast or whether Sam was still angry at him. She had suggested that fighting for Angela would be the best option but he couldn't do that. He was very conscious about what he had done to her and he had to deal with the consequences. If he only had been certain she was happy. He began to bake a cake. Her cake. The cake they had baked together for her birthday in his first year. The birthday which had ended with their first kiss. The fragrance was hovering through the room bringing back those sweet old memories to him. How much he wanted her that night. Of course he was sexually attracted to her right from the first day he showed up at her door step. But he had covered it for years, always afraid of losing everything. It was like he had grown up the night of her birthday. He had never resisted a beautiful woman before. There had been no reason for resisting. With Angela, matters had been different. There was an underlying understanding that he couldn't take advantage of her, not in that condition she had been nor later.

He worked in silence looking at his watch from time to time. At 7.30 he heard voices from upstairs. Jonathan came into the kitchen.

"Morning, Tony. Last big breakfast?" he mumbled.

"It does indeed look like that," Tony replied.

"Mom is already up. She'll come down soon."

"Jonathan, I want you to know you can always count on me. You can call me day and night whenever you need me. I won't live for long in that apartment; I'll probably have to go elsewhere after my graduation but mi casa es sus casa, ok?" Tony grasped his shoulder.

"I know, Tony, thank you. Besides it isn't your fault that mom is so… so … distant."

"Jonathan, she isn't distant, she… she had find someone she can love and that is good for her."

"Love? You can't tell me seriously she loves Andy. You know it isn't true."

"People change when something happens to them and it happened to your mother." Tony told him softly.

Angela entered the kitchen already dressed. Normally she would have breakfast in her pink bathrobe on Saturdays, but it would not be appropriate on Tony's last day. Mona, who just barged in through the back door noticed her daughter's unusual appearance, but didn't even comment on it. Now was not the right time for teasing her.

Without any words Tony handed Angela a cup of coffee and set a glass of orange juice on the table. He hadn't been able to speak since she had sat down. She looked pale and sad.

Angela however didn't know what to say. She never thought it would be so hard to let him go. For years he had been her secret dream and now she had to forget about it. It wasn't fair to Andy thinking of another man so much. It was a taciturn breakfast they had. No one dared to talk, fearing they could say something wrong, everyone noticed Sam's non-attendance, no one had the courage to mention it.

Jonathan and Tony started to pack the boxes into Tony's Jeep, but that was done very quickly, leaving just one more box in the kitchen for Tony to go back inside and pick up. Jonathan sat in the Jeep while Tony went in to say good bye to Mona who still waited in the kitchen with a very calm Angela.

"Hey, Mon, don't forget me. If there ever comes a time you can't get a date, call me." Tony hugged her tightly.

"The time I don't get a date will never come, Tony. Since that's the case I would never see you again. I'll miss you, Tony." Mona hugged him for the last time and gave him a short pat on his butt.

"Mona! You'll miss my cooking and someone to do your laundry."

"That's true and now I'm going before I get too emotional here."

With a last embrace Mona pulled away and left the kitchen teary eyed.

Suddenly Tony and Angela were alone. For the first time this morning they found themselves looking deeply in each other's eyes. A big lump formed in Tony's throat. He never imagined Angela marrying another man and now it would happen.

"Well Angela, I guess the time has come. I had prepared some words for this moment but… I don't remember them. I want to say thank you for everything you've done for me and I want to apologize for everything I have done over the last year and I…"

"Tony, there is nothing you have to apologize for. Can we leave it how it is?" Angela swallowed, "will we stay in touch?" If he talked about the last year she would never be able to withstand the farewell without a complete emotional breakdown.

"Of course we will," Tony answered.

"We said the same a long time ago."

"Yes, when Michael came back and I moved out."

"And you came back."

"Yes, but that won't happen this time. Now it's forever."

Tony went over to her and embraced her tightly. She didn't pull back. "This is the last time I can hold her like this," he thought," the last time to smell her scent." He wished the moment would never end, but after a short time he had to let her go. It would be inappropriate to keep her in his arms for too long. Tony picked up the last box and turned to the door.

"Good bye, Angela. I'll miss you."

"So will I. Bye, Tony." She couldn't hold back her tears any longer and turned on her heels, fleeing out of the kitchen.

Tony stared after her and sat the box on the table again. Then he grabbed in his pocket and took out his keys. He undid the golden one with the number 3344 and placed it visibly on the table. With a last look through the kitchen which had been his home for more than seven years he took the box and opened the back door. With a deep breath he stepped out and shut the door quietly. One more chapter of his life was done.