Chapter 7

It was easy for Tony to make himself comfortable in his new little beach house. He still had a few days until the new school year would begin and he rearranged the already existing furniture in a way he liked. After moving the couch to its new place he glanced at his living room and shook his head. It now had a similar appearance to the living room in Fairfield. Tony sighed, but then accepted it. If this was necessary to make himself feel at home then so be it. The tiny wooden house stood directly on the beach and from its big window Tony had a great view over the ocean. He needed a night to get used to the variety of sounds of waves which rolled onto the sand, burbling and sometimes soughing loudly. The often heavy ocean breeze jolted his shutters but his wrought-up feelings seemed to calm down by the natural noises of wind and water. The heavy knot in his chest hadn't gone, but when he sat on his small terrace and his sweeping eyes wandered over the ocean he felt a kind of reassuring peace. He filled his fridge, tried some new recipes and familiarized himself with the City and its closer surroundings. Every morning at six he jogged five miles on the beach and through focusing on physical fitness his mind developed a better feeling too. He was ready, ready to start his new life.

Tony's new work was very different from his former job as a housekeeper, but it felt like being a teacher had been the ultimate destination that had always been waiting for him. He loved his new job and the kids. The teaching staff supported him in every way possible. He got along with the girls team very well and was reminded of the time Sam and her friends had invaded the house on Oak Hills Drive. He would have preferred a coed school, but it wasn't meant to be. He had already coached Sam's softball team and that wasn't any different. He made a few new casual acquaintances, mainly with some teachers but also with a neighbor at the beach in his seventies. One evening, Ernest came over with two beers in his hands. Tony and Ernest had a good talk about the past and life in general and the old wise man had a lot to say. After a few beers and some joking references to Ernest about his namesake Hemingway and his book "The Old Man and the Sea" it was the beginning of a wonderful friendship. Since then they had talked several times a week. The man had lost his wife a year ago and was lonely. They told each other the details of their lives.

Tony had also been invited to a barbecue by Derek Winterstone, one of his colleagues from school. One of the advantages of living on the West Coast was the warm weather. Winter barbecues with cold and snow were forgotten now. Not that there was already winter weather in Fairfield, it was only early September. Most of the other guests had been married couples with children and he had felt lonely at first. Later he got it. Derek had invited his sister to the small party too and had introduced her to Tony. Lucy was a young woman in her late twenties, two times divorced. She hogged him most of the night without noticing Tony's hesitancy. Going to a party as a single was one thing that was ok, but he wasn't ready to get paired off. Lucy was a pretty red haired woman with deep blue eyes and a milky skin. Not even the burning California sun was able to put a tan on her. She had a winning smile and was a very sporty type of girl. In about two hours Tony knew the most important things of her life. Of course she tried to learn more about him, but he wasn't very talkative when it came to his life. When the party was over she gave him a piece of paper with her phone number. However, Tony threw it away even before he reached his Jeep.

The days had passed uniformly and uneventfully so far. Tony developed a routine and was content even though he had this inner restlessness. He missed Sam and Jonathan terribly, but called them several times a week. He got Jonathan on the phone mostly in the early evening and had started to call him always at this time. Angela never picked up the phone and Jonathan told him that she worked 12 or more hours a day. The boy never mentioned Andy and Tony thought he avoided the topic because he didn't want to hurt him. Thinking of Angela working so much made him sick. Why didn't Andy take care of her? A few times Tony was tempted to call Angela, but he always dropped the receiver before dialing. She didn't want connection to him anymore and he respected her wish, painful and difficult though it was.

The worst times for Tony were the nights. Nights, wherein he couldn't find sleep, seeing her face and remembering the good times they once shared. Sometimes he dreamed of Angela and woke up in the morning with a teary face, feeling a lump in his throat. On such mornings it took all his will power to leave his bed and go to school. Frequently he thought he was developing depression, but guys like him couldn't be depressed; they were supposed to rule their own minds, weren't they? So he pulled himself together and went on as if nothing happened.

Angela didn't feel very well. She went from one sickness to another. At first she had a cold with cough that simply didn't want to go away. She forced herself to stay in bed for two days, but couldn't stay away from the agency any longer than that. She was too connected with it and she needed to be at work for the distraction. She had landed more accounts than ever before and had to deal with two staff members quitting. She hadn't been content with their work, but she was currently short-staffed without them. If she had been honest with herself she would admit she had scared them away with her bad temper, a character trait she had never shown before to an employee. She could only compensate the loss with more and more work and sometimes she was so tired she forgot to eat and to drink all day. That led to exhaustion, complete with dizziness and nausea.

Two days later Mona found her in front of the toilet in the office, white like a wall and sweating. She scolded her daughter like a child and insisted that she see a doctor. Angela agreed but postponed it minutes later after getting the binding commitment from a big cruise operator in San Diego. She had to come up with some suggestions within two weeks and then fly over to California for a meeting. She promised Mona to live healthier and for while it worked out but only a few days later stomach flu came over her and she lost 5 pounds in one week. That was the time Mona freaked out. Early one morning she urged her daughter to stay at home for not less than a week.

"Angela, if you can't take care of yourself you'll need someone who does that and I'm saying you stay in bed until you're better." Mona bleated. "If you won't see a doctor today, I'll call Dr. Fergusson."

"I will, but not now… you know what I have to do," Angela sat on the couch wrapped in a blanket, surrounded by folders and papers.

"Angela, there is no excuse for treating yourself so badly. If you don't shift into a lower gear you'll end up in the hospital. I'm no longer accepting your lame reasons for not making an appointment. If Tony were here he would kick your butt."

Angela looked up to her mother. For weeks now no one had mentioned Tony. The last time her mother did that, Angela had yelled at her and slammed the door. Mona crossed the living room and started dialing. She talked a while and hung up.

"You're gonna see the doctor at two. And don't dare to cancel the appointment. I'll accompany you."

Mona shot her an angry glance and left the room. Angela shrugged and tidied up her papers. She needed to shower before seeing the doctor and it was already late.

At the appointment Angela met with doctor she had never seen before. He examined her thoroughly, but couldn't find anything amiss. He did a quick blood test and her white blood cells had been a little higher than usual, but this was due to her earlier infections. He handed her a diet plan to increase weight and told her she would be called about the other blood results. Angela picked up her mother in the waiting room and they left the office.

"So what is going on?" Mona asked straightaway.

"Nothing, everything is fine. I have to get my weight back and sleep more hours. My stomach is okay. He examined my inner life thoroughly and I'm healthy, just underweight."

"How will you gain weight without Tony's cooking skills? Since he left the sinking ship you're avoiding the kitchen as if it is a torture chamber."

"I'm not avoiding anything."

"You do. You don't talk about anything. Not about Tony, not about Andy. You're annoying your employees. Your bad mood is unbearable. And you don't care about Jonathan. It seemed to escape your attention how crabby he is. He doesn't dare to talk about Tony and Andy isn't a substitute. You don't even dye your hair in time, the roots are dark."

Angela sighed and opened the Jag. She took her place in the driver's seat and glanced over to Mona who made a concerned face. Usually Mona wasn't a mother hen, but now that Jonathan was the inducement of anxiety she had to give it some thought.

Jonathan avoided Tony's name too. He feared his mother's anger. Angela was well aware of this, but was astonished when her son begged for a flight ticket as his birthday present. He wanted to visit his father for a long weekend, probably for some advices now that Tony was no longer available. He hadn't seen Michael in years but obviously needed him now. Angela knew a talk with her son was necessary and she made a mental note.

"I'll talk to Jonathan, I promise. I understand he's angry with me and he misses Tony. And as you're asking about Andy, mother. Well, there isn't anything to tell. I won't see him anymore. It isn't right."

With these words she started the car and gripped the steering wheel. Mona shot her a glance.

"That means the wedding is cancelled? Over and out? End from song? I'm glad you dumped him," Mona made no secret of her opinion.

"No wedding," Angela swallowed.

The drive to Oak Hills Drive proceeded in silence. Mona scurried to her apartment to get ready for a date and Angela disappeared in her study for the next hours, the planned talk with Jonathan was forgotten.