The room was silent for several minutes and then Elijah said through his teeth, "Everybody out."

"But we just got here!" Roxie said.

"Go, Roxanne," Selina said. "That might be best."

Once they'd hustled out of the house, Selina and Elijah were left in the living room. Selina crossed her arms and faced him. "Go on," she said. "Go ahead and ask me what I know you're dying to ask."

"All right," Elijah nodded. "Tell me what happened last week. Why did you leave the house and why did I find you at Damon's of all places?"

"You know I go there sometimes to see Sam," Selina said.

"That's not why," Elijah told her. "On the phone, he said you had undressed in front of him almost entirely."

Selina nodded. "Well, I might have. But it was only because he called me 'grandma' when he saw me and that made me feel all vulnerable and unattractive. And he was there, so I thought..."

"Of course you thought!" Elijah said. He clenched his fists, but kept them at his sides. "It wasn't like I was at home waiting for you and scared to death about what was wrong with you and more than willing to help you resolve it. Oh, wait. I was! But it appears that you're still the same whore you always were." He heaved an exaggerated sigh.

Selina stood up. She was shaking with anger. "Now just a minute," she said. "I didn't sleep with him. I don't deserve any of this venom you're throwing at me, you sanctimonious, judgmental, holier than thou know it all! In a way though, I'm glad you're judging me now. That means that the halo has come off of me and I don't have to squash down any of my personality just to make you happy!" She started laughing. "This is great! I can do whatever the hell I want!"

"That's not what I meant," Elijah said.

"Well, maybe," Selina told him, smirking. "But that's how I choose to take it." She paused. "Does that upset you?"

"No," Elijah said. "It doesn't. Like you said, you can do whatever you want. But you won't be doing it and sleeping in my bedroom at the same time."

Selina scoffed. "Seriously? You're kicking me out of our bedroom? My god, what a crybaby! Well, fine. I can handle that. There are plenty of other rooms in this house. I'll just go find another one far away from you and then we'll both be happy!" She sighed. "I need to get out and get some air," she said. "Have fun here by yourself."

She stomped off, grabbed her jacket and left the house, heading for Anna's to tell her the bad news.

"What do you mean you and Elijah are fighting?" Anna asked. "You two aren't supposed to fight! This upsets me."

"Well, it's not my fault!" Selina said. "Roxie stopped by with Olivia and Alfred of all people and then Livy went and spilled the beans about a certain part of my life I've been very careful to keep from your brother."

"Wait a minute!" Stefan said. "Alfred is still around? He was ancient when you met him. How can he not be dead?"

"Well, I sorta turned him," Selina said. "I thought it would be a good punishment for that strutting peacock to spend the rest of eternity as a geezer. But I didn't think he'd last long. It's not like I stayed around to teach him the ropes or anything."

"Oh, I remember Alfred," Stefan nodded. "You weren't actually interested in him, were you?"

Selina scoffed. "Heck no! His mother was the gold digger, remember? Not me. I always had planned to kill him. I knew Louisa was still alive in '28, and I hoped that finding out her son was a vampire would be enough of a shock to kill her."

"Enough about Alfred!" Anna said. "What about you and Elijah?"

"What about us?" Selina asked. "He knows I'm Lonely Heart now and he's being really judgmental and stupid. Well, it's not about that, really."

"Well, what else could it be about?" Anna asked.

"It could be because she had a huge breakdown when she found out that Adrian and Helene are going to have a kid and she almost slept with Damon," Stefan said. "In fact, what else could it be about?"

"He told you?" Selina said. "Why would he tell you? Is no secret safe anymore?"

"You wanted that to be a secret?" Stefan asked. "You went to Damon's house, you took off practically all your clothes and as much as begged him to sleep with you and you thought he'd keep it a secret?"

"You did?" Anna asked. "Why? I think I'm disappointed in both of you now. Have you told Elijah you're sorry? You better have told him that you're sorry!"

"Well, even if I tried, he probably wouldn't want to hear about it," Selina said. "He kicked me out of our room today and told me I had to find a different room. But I don't care. Frankly, I feel much better now than I have in a long time. Probably because everything is out in the open now. I don't have to pretend to be someone I'm not just because I'm scared of what Elijah will think of me. Of course, I'm not going to start killing people again; with your father after me, I really can't afford to be that stupid. But I'm going to start having more fun, anyway."

"After you tell Elijah you're sorry," Anna said.

"I told you," Selina said. "He doesn't want to hear it. At least not yet. So I'll just go about my life and wait for him to come to me. That would be best. But he's so stubborn it'll probably take ages. But it's okay. I can wait. I think."

Selina knocked on the door of Elijah's office.

"Come in," he said flatly.

She opened the door and strode to his desk. "I just thought I'd let you know that I'm gonna bring Sam and Lucy over and we're gonna repaint my room. The white that's in there now is so boring. I want something with a little more personality, so that's what I'm going to do." She left without giving him a chance to respond and she and Lucy headed over to Damon's to get Sam.

"Thank you for letting me come," Lucy said.

Selina patted her knee. "You're welcome," she said. "Are you ready to help me paint?"

Lucy nodded.

When they reached Damon's house, he let them inside and entertained Lucy for a little bit while Selina went to get Sam.

"All right," she said when she made it back to the living room with Sam's hand in hers. "It's time to go, Lucy."

"So soon?" Damon asked. "Why can't you stay a while?"

"Because," Selina said, avoiding his eyes, "I want to get started painting so my walls are dry at the end of the day. I hate waiting!"

"Okay," Lucy said, her mouth drooping. She gave Damon a hug, told him goodbye, and followed her mother and Sam out to Selina's car.

"Okay," Selina said. She and Lucy were in jean shorts and old t-shirts with bare feet and they wielded brushes covered with red paint. "I already put the tape on the walls, so it should be pretty easy to do. Just put red wherever you see empty wall and don't eat the paint."

"I wouldn't!" Lucy said.

"Oh, I know," Selina said. "I just wanted to be sure, though."

"What about me?" Sam asked. "Do I paint too?"

"No," Selina said, picking him up. "Well, not unless you want to. I have a different job for you."

She led him over to an oilcloth covered shape in the corner and pulled the sheet off.

"Drums!" Sam said, grinning widely. Selina sat him down on a chair and handed him drumsticks. "Pound away, little man!" She said. Sam began happily banging on the drums while Selina and Lucy painted. After awhile, though, they finally heard banging on the closed bedroom door.

Selina grinned and then strode to the door and opened it, to see a very perturbed Elijah on the other side. "What in the world is going on in here?" He asked.

"I'm sorry," Selina told him. "Were we disturbing you?" She grinned sweetly at him.

"Oh, stop!" He said. "I'm trying to get work done and there's an awful racket coming from in here."

"Sam's playing," Lucy said.

Elijah looked over at Sam and the drum set. "Where did he get that?"

"I found it downstairs," Selina said. "I thought Sam could use the practice. And look how happy he is!"

Elijah's eyes narrowed. "You didn't get out the drum set because you thought Sam needed the practice! You did it because you knew it would irritate me!"

Selina shrugged. "Tomayto, tomahto."

"No, it's not!" Elijah said. "That's exactly why!" He looked around the room. "And what is all this anyway? You're supposed to be feeling guilty and pondering your sins, not repainting a room and having a jolly time!"

"Says who?" Selina asked. "You? Well, you'll be disappointed. I'm having a very jolly time and there's nothing you can do about it!"

Elijah was breathing heavily now. "Lucy," he said to her, "There are cookies in the kitchen. You and Sam can have them if you leave your mother and me alone for a little while."

"All right!" Lucy said. She and Sam scampered out of the room.

"And just what was that all about?" Selina asked

He glared at her for a moment, then put an arm around her waist and pushed her against a wall, kissing her hard. Her hair and the back of her got covered in red paint. She relaxed into it until she realized what she was doing.

"Hey, hey, hey!" She said. "You can't just yell at me and then come in here and kiss me and expect me to be nice to you."

"I don't expect you to be nice to me," he said. "I'm doing this purely out of need, not because I'm ready to forgive you."

"Oh," Selina nodded. "Well, that's rich. When I want to have sex, it's a problem and I'm a whore, but when you want to have sex, it's okay because you're fulfilling some need. Well if that isn't the most-"

He kissed her again, then picked her up, and threw her down on the bed, removing her clothes and his pants. Then he leaned forward, aiming for her lips, but she moved her head and he wound up kissing her neck instead.

She tried to keep control of the situation, but he quickly overpowered her and she let out a shriek. As a languid feeling spread over her and she worked to catch her breath, he got out of bed and zipped his pants. "I'm going to go resume work now, while it's quiet," he said. "I might be back in a little while, though."

"You're going so soon?" She asked.

"I see no reason to linger for the moment," he said. "I'm too angry at you to cuddle." He looked over at the wall he'd pushed her against and smirked. "While I'm working, you might think about repainting that," he said.

"You're still working?" Selina asked. "Is that all you do? Do you even know how to have fun? At all?"

"Of course!" Elijah nodded. "Of course I know how to have fun!"

"Name one fun thing you've thought of in the last six months and our honeymoon doesn't count," Selina said.

Elijah stood in silence for several minutes. Finally Selina smirked. "I knew it!" She said. "I knew you had no idea how to have fun! But I won't laugh at you. That's sad enough in itself." She sat up and finished dressing just as a knock sounded on the bedroom door.

"We ate all the cookies!" Sam said. "Let us in!"

"Well, that was good timing," Selina said to Elijah. "Now, you mentioned something about needing to get back to work?"

He nodded.

"Well, go ahead then," she said, opening the door to admit Lucy and Sam inside and then gesturing for Elijah to leave. "I wouldn't want to keep you from your precious work that means so much to you."

"Well, how considerate," Elijah said. He left and went back to his office, but found he couldn't concentrate on anything at all. He didn't know what was wrong. Then, with horror, he realized that what Selina said actually bothered him. It was ridiculous, but it was true. Was he really as bad as she'd said? Of course not. He shook his head. Not everyone could be carefree. There had to be responsible people in the world to clean up the carefree people's messes. If everyone were like Selina and Niklaus, well, the world would just erupt into pandemonium, wouldn't it? He tried to read more of the articles his father had given him, but he couldn't focus on them anymore. Every time they mentioned Lonely Heart's killings, he pictured Selina slashing and cutting and biting. It was awful. But that Olivia was a notorious liar. She had to have been telling a lie. But why would she do that? What did she possibly have to gain? Finally, he put the papers down and decided that he needed to clear his head.

He got up and walked back to Selina's room. "I'm going for a drive, just in case you're curious."

"I'm not," Selina said without looking at him. "You're entitled to have your own life outside of me. You don't have to tell me every time you leave the house. You can just go."

"Well, all right, I will," Elijah said.

"Wait, where are you going?" Selina asked.

"I thought you didn't care," Elijah said.

Selina shook her head. "I don't. But you know that guy Roxie and Livy had with them? His name is Alfred and I turned him and I don't know what he's been up to for the last however many years, but he deserves some fun." She wrote something down on a slip of paper and gave it to him. "Here's the address of his house. You wouldn't mind taking an old guy to have a little fun, would you?"

"Oh, sure," Elijah said. "Why not?"

"Have a good time!" Selina called after him.

"I seriously doubt I will," Elijah muttered under his breath. He left the house and drove to Niklaus'. Maybe Niklaus would help him learn how to have fun.

"Well, here you are again," Klaus said when he opened the door. "I didn't expect to see you back so soon. If you came for Lucy, Selina picked her up already."

"Oh, I know that," Elijah said. "Believe me, I do. I didn't come for Lucy. I came because I need your help."

Klaus looked at him in surprise. "You need my help? Really? Why?"

"Well," Elijah said, "Selina and I had a fight today and she called me a 'sanctimonious, judgmental, holier than thou know it all'. And she said I didn't know how to have fun."

"Am I supposed to say 'I don't believe that' at this point?" Klaus asked. "Because frankly, I believe every word."

"Well, that's hurtful," Elijah said. "Anyway, I came to ask you to help improve my image, maybe help me loosen up a little, but if you're going to be critical, then I'll just-"

"Okay, okay, fine." Klaus said. "I'm sorry. I'd be glad to help you. And I have the perfect way to start: I was thinking about going out somewhere tonight. You could come with me. Want to?" A grin spread over his face.

"It depends," Elijah said apprehensively. "Where is it?"

"It's called Club Shangri-la," Klaus said. "Think about it, Elijah: dozens of lovely women, all of them not wearing a thing!"

"And you wonder why you're having trouble with maintaining a meaningful relationship," Elijah said.

"So will you come?" Klaus asked. "Or not?"

"I don't know if I should," Elijah said. "I'm married after all, and when you're married, there's really only one person you should let see you in a state of undress and that's the person you're married to. I gave Selina a lecture about it. If I went with you to a strip club, I'd look like a hypocrite."

Klaus scoffed. "I pity you. When I finally get married, the woman I marry will be the sort who will want me to see other women naked! I could arrange that quite easily."

"Well, I want more than that," Elijah said. "Even though we're fighting, I'm choosing to take the high road with Selina and not do anything that will get me into trouble!"

"I thought you said you wanted me to help you have fun!" Klaus said. "I'm trying to help, but you're making it very difficult. If you're going to tie my hands, then you can just go back to Selina and see how much fun you have."

Elijah sighed. "Well, fine. But if she finds out what I did, she'll hold it over my head for sure!"

"So tell her the truth!" Klaus said. "It's not that difficult. Let's practice. You be yourself and I'll be Selina." He came over and sat next to Elijah on the sofa. "So," he said in a high pitched voice, "the other day that you and Nicky went out, what did you do? Did you have fun?"

"Yes," Elijah said. "We did."

"What did you do?" Klaus pressed.

"Well," Elijah said, "We went to an...event."

"What sort of an event?" Klaus asked. "A cultural event?"

Elijah nodded. "Kind of. See, Niklaus and I went to this place where..." He stalled.

"Oh, come on, Elijah," Klaus said. "It's me, Selina. You know you can tell me anything. Just let it come out!"

Elijah inhaled and put a hand on Klaus' shoulder. "All right," he said. "We said we'd be honest with each other and so I will be: the night Niklaus and I went out, we went to a strip club because you said I was boring and I thought that if I went to the strip club, I would feel more like a fun person." He breathed a sigh of relief. "I'm glad I was able to get that out. I feel better now."

"Is that all?" Klaus asked, still in his awful, high pitched Selina voice.

"Yes," Elijah nodded. "That's all. I was just trying to be more carefree, as per your suggestion."

Klaus began to fake tear up. "When did you stop loving me?" He asked, his voice breaking.

"I never stopped loving you," Elijah said, getting lost in the moment and completely forgetting who he was talking to.

Klaus stood up, throwing Elijah's hand off his shoulder. "Let me tell you something! I will never give you a divorce, Mister! I will kill you before I let another woman have you!"

"But I don't want another woman!" Elijah said, running to put his arm around Klaus. "All I want is y-" Finally, he came back to his senses and pulled away. "What are we doing?" He asked. "This has to stop."

"You're right," Klaus said. "It was getting ridiculous.

"Do you really think she'll react that strongly?" Elijah asked.

"Well, actually, I believe I gave you the underreaction," Klaus said. "Stefan came by and told me that you found out Selina's big secret. Surprised?"

"You mean the fact that she's Lonely Heart?" Elijah asked. "Olivia is a notorious liar. She probably wasn't telling the truth."

"Even so, do you really want to risk breaking the heart of a woman who might have killed all the men who did the same before you?" Klaus asked.

"Nothing bad will happen to me. She's not like that anymore," Elijah said firmly. "Now, are we going to go, or what? And by the way," he held out the slip of paper that had Alfred's address on it. "Selina requested we go to this address and pick up a man named Alfred and take him with us."

Klaus looked at the address. "Oh, fine. But you're the one who has to deal with him since you brought it up."

When they arrived at the house, Roxie opened the door. "Hey, you two. What's up?"

"Your mother requested we take Alfred out with us," Elijah said to Roxie. "Is he here?"

Roxie turned. "Alfred!" she called. "My uncle wants to take you out to get some air. You wanna go?"

Alfred appeared at the door quite suddenly, looking eager. "Finally, some men to go out with. If I have to spend another day at the mall, I think I'll kill myself."

Elijah looked him over. "I don't know if you can handle going where we're going."

"Oh, come on!" Alfred said. "I survived getting knifed. I'm much hardier than you think! I need to see the world outside! Take me with you! Please!"

"I'm sure it's not so bad in here," Elijah said, walking around the house. "You have a television and good books to read, not to mention who knows what else. You don't need to come with me to have fun."

"Gee," Alfred said sarcastically. "I have all that and I'm sure that if I looked real hard, there might be a cookie left in the cookie jar. Ooooooh, pinch me!"

Elijah rolled his eyes and let Alfred follow him to the car.

"Why did we bring him here?" Klaus asked as he watched Alfred try and negotiate the small appetizer bar. "Did you let him guilt you into it?"

"He seemed like a nice man," Elijah said. "And he said he'd be able to handle it."

"What kind of a place did you bring me to?" Alfred asked when he returned to their table. "They just charged me five dollars for a Coke! Back when I was a boy, you could buy three acres of land for that much!" He shivered. "And do you feel that? It's drafty in here!"

"We know, Alfred," Klaus said. "You've only mentioned that twenty or thirty times."

"I remember you!" Alfred said to him. "You're that punk Selina used to step out with."

Klaus narrowed his eyes. "Well, I don't have very pleasant memories of you, either," he said. "I'll have you know that if Selina hadn't killed you, I would have."

Alfred looked at Elijah. "And you say he's your brother? My sympathies."

Elijah tried not to laugh.

"You know, I got a brother," Alfred said. "Or I did. He's dead now, good riddance."

"We know," Klaus said. "His name was Henry, he was a doctor, and he screwed you."

"He screwed me blue!" Alfred finished, nodding in agreement.

"Could I have a word with my brother in private, Alfred?" Klaus asked. "You could have another look at that appetizer bar."

Alfred rolled his eyes. "All right."

"Why did you bring him here?" Klaus asked Elijah. "Are you out of your mind?"

"Could I say something?" Alfred asked. He eyed Klaus' hair, which had grown out a little long and said, "Why don't you get a haircut? Are you one of those hippies I read so much about? Or were you trying to look like a girl?"

"Would you get something for me from the appetizer bar?" Elijah asked him. "Please?"

"Why are you so eager to send me away?" Alfred asked. "Am I spoiling your fun?"

"Oh, no," Elijah said. "Of course not. You're delightful."

"Thank you," Alfred said to him. "I like you. You're nice." He stood up. "I think I'll go get something from the appetizer bar after all."

"And take your time," Klaus said. "If you're not back in ten minutes, we won't send a search party."

"You, I hate," Alfred said to him and then walked away.

"If the show doesn't start soon," Klaus said to Elijah, "then I'm leaving. Alfred has a pretty relative I would much rather be spending my time with."

"Well, then go," Elijah said. "No one's stopping you."

But just as Klaus got up to go, the show began. When it was over, Elijah was surprised to see that Alfred was still very much with them.

"I told you I was hardy," he said. He looked Elijah over critically. "You're the one who looks like he had a little too much fun."

"There's no such thing as too much fun," Klaus said. He looked at Elijah. "Did I or did I not see one of the girls slip you her number?"

Elijah grinned and nodded. "You did, see?" He pulled the number out of his pocket. "Her name was Samantha."

"A brunette with legs that go on forever," Klaus sighed. "Nice change from Selina, huh? She's a tiny thing, isn't she?" He paused. "Well, some parts of her are tiny and some parts aren't so much."

"Watch it," Elijah said. "You're not allowed to talk about her that way."

"You and she are fighting now, so what does it matter?" Klaus asked. "Don't tell me you're not gonna go straight home, wave Samantha's number in her face and brag about what a good time you had tonight."

"I might mention it in passing," Elijah said. "But that's all I'll do."

"You're back, I see," Selina said when Elijah came into the living room where she was watching a movie." She sniffed. "That's an interesting scent you're wearing. What's it called? Desperation?"

Elijah smirked. "No. It's closer to 'Leggy, blue-eyed pretty Samantha'."

Selina smirked. "Thats so cute that you're trying to make me jealous. Did you have a good time...wherever you were?"

Elijah nodded. "Niklaus and I went to a strip club and one of the girls gave me her number."

Selina barely looked at it. "I'm glad you and Nicky went out together. You haven't in awhile, have you? And I'm proud you're developing your own interests outside of me. it's a sign of a healthy relationship."

Elijah grinned. "Samantha was developed in many ways. She taught me so much. And I taught her a few things too."

Selina just sighed. "If I were feeling petty, I'd make some remark about Damon, but I won't. I know I screwed up before, and I don't want to keep going backward when I can just as easily go forward. I don't want to fight about this anymore. I'm glad you had a good time with Nicky and hopefully I'll have as much fun when Anna and I go to the mall tomorrow. Good night."

She left Elijah alone in the room. Once she was gone, his bravado wore off and feelings of guilt and shame welled up in him. What had he been thinking? That it would make him feel better if he went out among other women? Well, it hadn't. Now he just felt a thousand times worse. He ripped up Samantha's number and went to get undressed for bed, even though he knew he wouldn't sleep well that night.

Selina had just finished putting the new blankets on her bed when she heard a knock at the door. "Come in," she said. Lucy came in. "I saw the closet monster again, Mommy," she said. "Can I stay in here with you?"

Selina threw the covers aside, picked up Lucy and placed her in bed beside her. "Of course," she said. "We'll make it like a sleepover."

"How come you're not with Uncle Elijah?" Lucy asked.

"Because he's working and needs peace and quiet," Selina said. "Now let's get you tucked in so we can both go to sleep."

She pulled the blankets over both of them and put an arm around Lucy's middle. "There. Now you won't fall out. And I won't squish you, I promise."

"All right," Lucy said. She shut her eyes and fell asleep.

A few hours later, however, something woke her up. She turned around and heard sobbing coming from beside her. She touched her mother's hair, and Selina looked up at her with swollen, red-rimmed eyes. "I'm sorry, I woke you," she said. "I'll be quieter."

Lucy looked at her mother for a moment, then squirmed out from under her mother's arm and got out of bed.

"Where are you going?" Selina called.

"To the potty!" Lucy yelled back.

"Well, do you need me to come with you?" Selina asked. "Or are you all right?"

"I'm okay!" Lucy said. But instead of going to the bathroom, she went to her uncle's room and knocked on the door.

"What's going on?" Elijah asked when he opened the door. "Lucy, why aren't you in bed?"

"I can't sleep cause Mommy's crying," Lucy said. "Can you make it better?" She took his hand and pulled him along to Selina's room. When they reached the door, Elijah turned on the light. "What's going on in here?" Elijah asked.

Selina looked up. "Did Lucy drag you in here?" She asked. "I'm sorry. She told me she was going to the bathroom."

"You have been crying," Elijah said when he sat down next to her.

Selina nodded. "Maybe a little, but a lot of that's my own fault. You don't have to help me. You can go back to sleep."

"I haven't actually slept well so far tonight," he said, pulling a handkerchief out of the pocket of his shorts.

"You just keep those everywhere, don't you?" Selina asked, sniffling and wiping her eyes.

He nodded. "You never know when you might need one."

Hesitantly, Selina leaned against him and he brought his arms around her.

"Wait," Selina said, looking apologetically at Lucy. "I told Lucy she could stay in here tonight, so..."

Lucy ran out of the room and came back. "The closet monster's gone. I can stay in my bed."

"Well, that solves that then," Elijah said.

Selina yawned. "I finally feel tired," she said. "Don't you?"

"Yes," he nodded. "I do. But this doesn't change everything."

"Oh, I know," Selina said. "But let's not think about that. Right now, we're just two people doing what we have to to get a decent night's sleep." She shut her eyes, her breathing became even, and as Elijah ran his fingers through her dark hair, he felt himself relax too. He shut off the light and finally managed to fall asleep.