And now it's time for a little vague, confusing, and violent fun.
This chapter is a bit longer than normal, but I ask that you all read the note at the end. Which is also long, but important.
Thanx.
It hadn't been hard to fall asleep that night. The exhaustion of crying had sucked the energy right out of me and I was unconscious the moment my head hit the pillow.
I don't remember the last time my dreams had been so vivid.
The house I was walking through was old and reminded me of Isaac's manor. The walls were covered in atrocious wallpaper that peeled at the edges, missing in some places completely and revealing the water-stained walls beneath. When I reached out to touch them, the feeling couldn't have been more real.
I moved slowly down the dark hallway, which now seemed to stretch into eternity behind me. There was a door before me, far off and getting closer. It was made of old polished cheery wood and carved into intricate patterns. A forest scene, I realized as I gazed at it. Something in the back of my mind told me that behind this door was danger, but this was a dream. Nothing could hurt me in dreams, not really. And there was something there, just beyond the wood that called to me. I could feel it, humming just beneath my skin.
My fingers brushed down the carved stag, standing at the center of the forest and surrounded by animals. Something about him whispered royalty, or something similar. All I knew was that the animals looked to the stag with fear and reverence. He was there lord. Because this was my dream, I accepted this knowledge to be true and grasped the doorknob.
When the light beyond this beautiful door faded enough that I could see, I rubbed at my eyes and took a slow breath. It seemed as if all the air had been torn from my lungs with the opening of the door. Unpleasant, but not alarming, as I was safe in my own head for now. Then I stepped inside this…room and realized where the light had come from, as it faded to a soft ebbing glow.
"Cern." I was not surprised by this. I saw everyone in dreams. I also wasn't complaining about the vividness of this particular chimera, seeing as how he looked real enough to touch. In my own head I could acknowledge his attractiveness without repercussions.
His smile was slow, and far too sensual, but I returned it. This was my brain after all.
"How do you fair, little one?"
"Shouldn't you already know?" I asked raising a brow. The room around me had become a sitting room of some kind. Rather than chairs, however, the floor was made of one giant cushion, and gold and crimson pillows had been tossed generously about. "I mean, you're the god."
His impossibly green eyes tracked me across the room where I flopped down onto a thick pile of cushions and crossed my legs. That smile never left his face, and despite its wolfishness, I felt no fear.
"You are playful tonight. Is there occasion?" The god spoke like a curl of smoke, winding gently around me, and I leaned back into what was suddenly his arm. He pulled me close, laying my back against his chest and traced the line of my sleeping capri's.
"Well, Cern, I'm just comfortable, I guess. You're in my head after all."
He chuckled, stroking my hair from my cheek and trailing his fingers down the column of my throat.
"I would have thought such a thing would upset you."
For a moment, I paused, enjoying the feel of his warm fingers the way I never could outside of my own mind. "Normally, yeah. But you're a dream Cern. You can't hurt me in my own mind."
"If that is what you choose to believe." He replied softly, into my hair. Frowning I pulled from his grip and turned to the god.
"What does that mean?"
Cernnunos sighed and sat back in his place in the cushions. "This is no dream, Mira."
"Oh yeah?" I laughed.
He nodded, "You are dreaming, in the sense that you body now rests, but these are not the images conjured by your subconscious." Like the dawn, his smile returned to distract me. "I have called, and you answered. You came to me."
"I opened a door." I said, still frowning. Cern however, reached out to stroke my cheek with a patient smile.
"Yes, and now I may find you wherever you go. Through your dreams I can visit you without leaving Windsor." When I didn't reply his smile faded slightly. "This displeases you."
"I'm adjusting." I said shortly and drew away from him to pace. The cushioned floor made walking somewhat of a hassle, but the second time I tripped the floor became level and made of a dark polished wood. I shot him a glance, only to acknowledge that he'd helped before pacing again.
He was in my brain. I was in my brain, and awake and this place was…also in my brain. I'd say it was impossible if I weren't the victim of a werewolf, roommate of a vampire, and current consort to a God. It all sounded like a badly written soap opera.
Instead of exploding like I so badly wanted to and possibly incurring some unnecessary wrath, I took a deep breath and held up my hands.
"OK. So this," I motioned around us, "this is all a dream?" Cern nodded and stood in a single fluid motion, coming to stand near me. "And you make a habit of walking through dreams, do you?"
"Habit is not the word I would-"
"Enough with the cock-eyed answers, Cernnunos. For once could you just…" I trialed off when I saw the way he was looking at me. It wasn't anger or even irritation, and yet I drew away, clamping my lips together. He looked at me like I was an errant child. A toddler throwing a tantrum, and it made me feel foolish.
"Have you finished?" He asked levelly, nailing down that terrible feeling that I was being ridicules. Clamping my jaw, I nodded and he glanced away toward one of the walls as if he could see through it.
"There are those I visit within their dreams. Those that pray to me."
"I'm not praying to you, Cern."
He smiled to himself and turned from me to gaze at the walls of our sitting room. As if made of smoke, the room dissipated and changed into a grassy field. No. Not a field. The ground was lined with gray stones, all placed in neat little rows. Here and there a statue stood tall in draping robes to gaze down at the stones like there guardians.
This was a graveyard.
"What's going on?" I asked wrapping my arms around myself and trying not to feel prematurely threatened.
"I would like to show you another, like yourself. One who dreams with the prayer that she will see me every night."
I blinked, before the thought fully processed and then scoffed, shaking my head. "I really don't want to meet any of your other "Consorts" I said the word with air quotes and sighed heavily. "That just sounds awkward."
Cernnunos laughed then, taking my hand. His fingers were warm and oddly soft. I still expected his skin to be course, and find myself surprised each time it was not. "She is not my lover, Mira. This girl is Kine. My follower. She prays to me to take her sorrow."
"Um…ok." I really didn't know what to make of this. Any of it. The whole situation seemed ridicules and I wanted very much to wake up and find it was all truly dream. How could any of this be real? But, for now, it couldn't hurt to go along with dream-Cern. "Why exactly are you showing me this?"
His vivid green eyes slid to watch me from the side as we walked and his smile was somewhat devious.
"I wish to share many things with you, little one. It would be easier than explaining it all."
"I guess so." I shrugged and we came to a stop.
A few yards away I saw a lovely statue that draped over a gravestone. The carved woman had her head bowed, and arms clinging to the stone desperately. As we stepped closer however, the statue moved, it's long flowing gray dress catching the light wind and fluttering over her pale legs.
"My lord?" the woman asked, sitting up and whipping tears from her face. She was a pretty thing (no surprise there) with long red hair that draped down her back in soft curls. I thought of my own dark curls, too wild to ever look as elegant as hers and frowned at Cern.
"So, what are you cultivating followers now?"
"It does not hurt to replenish my herd now and again."
Herd? "Don't you mean flock?" I asked scowling. I seemed to be doing that a lot lately; hopefully it wouldn't bring premature wrinkles. "How can you call her that to her face anyway?"
He only smiled at the girl, whose face was slowly brightening, "She hears only what I wish her to." And with that he released my hand.
The God approached the girl with a reserved smile. His manor seemed to change with each step. The playful creature that courted me vanished and when the girl stood to meet him, she threw her arms around him and began to cry.
"I thought I was going insane!" She sobbed as he sat down on a stone bench that had appeared beside the graves. The girl slid to the floor, laying her head in his lap. I watched from the headstone beside them as Cern soothed her and petted her hair.
"Did you doubt me, Amanda?" His voice was strange and deep, like many tones dancing together into one. The woman shook her head and sniffed.
"No! No it's just that…" But as he gazed down at her, the tears returned. Cernnunos hushed her, leaning down to whisper something into her ear that made her nod solemnly and turn back to her gravestone. Now that I'd approached them, I could read it.
Michael Aaron Voesner, 2002 – 2009. There was no inscription, or quoted verse from the bible. Just his name and the date, but I could understand. What could you really say about a child so young that was taken from the world? What words made it better? Feeling a bit ill, I followed Cern who was standing and leaving the woman to a dream of her lost son. This had been brief and pointless and now my anger at him was returning doubled.
"So, you just draw these people in, like a trap-door spider." I crossed my arms.
"Amanda was lost and desperate for the guidance of a being that no longer cared. Her God abandoned her, but now she has me."
"Fantastic. And did you lure her in with pretty lies and promises?"
"I never lied to her Mira. To any of them. It does not suit me." That shut me up and the god drew a slow breath before taking my hand and walking down through the graveyard toward one of the mausoleums.
After we reached the door, I pulled him to a stop. "Then what did you do Cern? How did you get a Catholic woman to pray to a pagan god?"
His smile was wistful as he glanced over my shoulder and back to the smiling Amanda. "I simply pointed out the obvious truths. Her god took her child and still demanded her trust. Her blind faith that he existed and would help."
"And what did you give her?"
He smiled. "Proof."
With that he opened the mausoleum door and gently pushed me inside. Instead of marble I found asphalt. The graveyard had become a dimly lit alleyway.
"What are we doing, Cern. I don't need to see the poor people you've convinced to worship you." I laughed without humor, "In fact I would rather spend time with Isaac. Now what does that tell you?"
When Cern stepped to my right, his smile had vanished and in its place was a severe and chilling expression. "That you are foolish."
"Excuse me?" I snapped, crossing my arms. "Well, from what I can tell he's better than you. I know what you've done to me. I know you took my soul, or whatever, and I really don't appreciate that buddy. And you know what? While you're sitting back wearing it on you damn belt and coaxing people into your religion, Isaac was comforting me." I laughed, "Not that I'm too sure about it, I mean, it's sort of strange, but from what I can tell, he likes me more than you do so-"
"Be quiet, Mira." Cern said calmly and I think my fingers began to pop with the pressure of my closing fists. "That is precisely why we've come here. You, foolish girl, are beginning to trust that leach and his friends. You are letting down you guard and that is dangerous." The god shook his head and gazed down the alley toward the street, "Think what you will of me, there is time yet to prove you wrong, but the vampire is no friend to you."
"Maybe you didn't hear me, Cern. You took my soul. If it wasn't for Isaac…I don't know what I'd be doing now. Killing myself maybe. The point is-"
"He lied to you."
Now I pinched the bridge of my nose and gave a heavy sigh. "Is that so?"
"It is true that I've stripped you of that bit of mortal waste, and you have every right to hate me now for it. You do not understand what it is I have done for you, and now is not the time to explain, but the vampire told you it had not changed you."
"Ok, first off, I'm curious as to how you know this, but we'll discuss that part later. For now, what the hell are you saying?"
"He knows that you are altered. That you will eventually harden as the others do, but this process works only as fast as you allow it." He paused, glancing back to me, "To an extent. You have a surprisingly strong will, Mira. You will keep your humanity for a long while yet."
My mouth opened and closed as a thousand different responses flew through my head. I was bombarded with the urges to cry and attack him and argue all at once. Instead, unable to really cope with it at the moment, I decided to stick with the argument at hand.
"You aren't really building you case here. Form where I sit, that still leaves Isaac at the top."
Cern turned to take my hands and gazed at me with what seemed like pity. "He is playing a role for you, Mira. Nothing more. He has convinced you that he grows fond of you, but make no mistake, without my protection, he would rid himself of you without regret."
"That makes no sense, Cern." I jerked away from him, rubbing my wrists where he'd held them too tight. "Then why does he act so put out when he realizes he's being nice to me?"
"Would you not be suspicious if he simply became your friend? He knows you, Mira. This is not the first time he has cultivated you trust. Have you not noticed that he feeds while away from you now? Out of sight, out of mind, is that not a saying amongst you humans? If you are not reminded of the horror of his existence, you begin to trust him again."
"I'm done talking to you now Cern." I said, teeth grit in anger. "I'd like to go back to my previously scheduled dreams thank you."
"I have brought you here to remind you what he is." Cernnunos said as if I hadn't spoken. He turned back to the mouth of the alley and drew back toward the wall, arm outstretched to herd me in the same direction. "This, Mira, is no dream. But do not fear, to them, we are not visible."
"What are you-?"
But something at the mouth of the alley crashed and I went silent, thoughtlessly curling against Cern. There was the sound of heels clicking swiftly against the ground and then a young woman was in the alley. When she realized it lead to the brick wall of a building, she spun, searching frantically for another direction to go.
Her hair was a mess, wild and tangled. It had been pinned up I could see, but now fell from the jewel clip at the top of her head. She'd been dressed for something formal. A ritzy party or a diner, or an art show. I had no idea, but now her emerald, satin dress was torn and stained with dirt and…blood.
I could see the red of it now, trailing down from a gash across her side, and one that reached her thigh. She panted, drawing back against the dumpster across from us and watching the mouth of the alley with building terror. She knew she was trapped, and could only wait now.
"Why is it you people always scramble strait for isolation rather than the crowds?" My heart leapt into my throat at the sound of Isaac's voice. He appeared in the alley with a mocking smile. "Logically, other people could help you. I wouldn't be able to hurt you in a room full of other…well, not as easily."
When he stepped forward the girl made a high sound of fright and stumbled back against the dumpster. The vampire took this in a moment, watching the tears that leaked down her cheeks, then he titled his head and continued.
"And yet here we are. Nearly every time, you all scamper off into some shadowed hole where I can tear you apart and no one would see."
"Please." Her voice was hoarse, perhaps from screaming, and she let out a shrill one when Isaac traced in front of her, though he muffled the tail end of her cry with his palm.
"Please what?" he asked gently, his free hand snatched the fingers that tried to claw at him, twisting her wrist until it snapped and she screamed again beneath his hand. "Please don't hurt you? Don't eat you?"
Isaac chuckled when she sagged against the dumpster and slipped his arm around her waist to keep her upright. "You're the one who's made this so difficult, luv. I told you not to run from me, didn't I?" The girl closed her eyes a moment and sobbed under him, trying to push him away, but it was like shoving at a steel wall. Immovable. The vampire tsked, drawing back enough that she could cradle her broken wrist against her chest, and gazed up at him through tears.
My own vision blurred with them and I gripped Cern's arm so tightly, my fingers were numb, but couldn't speak. Couldn't even turn away.
Isaac hushed her, and reached up to stroke her wild hair from her face, smiling when she flinched away from his touch. "I told you I was dangerous, darling." He was saying, calm as could be, "I told you I'd eat you alive, and you just assumed I was being sexual." He laughed and shook his head. "See what happens when we assume, luv?"
Here, Isaac leaned in, a low growl echoing out across the alley and nuzzled into the girl's neck. She whimpered loudly, shaking her head, but his fingers tightened across her face, turning the skin red. Again she cried beneath his palm and the vampire pulled back to look her over.
"Hush now. It's too late for that." He kissed her bruised cheek and smiled charmingly. "No one is coming for you, and yes you are going to die in this alley, but if you're real good I'll make it quick, how does that sound?"
"Do something." I said softly, because I was too shocked to force any volume into my voice. The god beside me gave a solemn sigh and shook his head.
"I can not." He replied as Isaac smiled into the girl's hair and broke one of her fingers to hear her scream.
"Cern-"
"I am the tether that binds your conscious and your body. Without me you would be unable to return to it."
"Then take me back and-"
"There is no time." He said and my attention snapped back to Isaac and the girl when she gave a muffled shriek as the vampire bit into her throat.
No not bit. Tore. He sank his teeth into the flesh and shook his head like some sort of dog, pulling away and bringing a chunk of her throat with him. The blood seemed to leave her body in pressurized streams. I'd never seen the work of a punctured jugular, but I could tell by the quickly paling caste of her skin that she was already dying when Isaac grabbed her by the hair and slammed her head against the side of the dumpster. I watched the metal give with the force of his blow, buckling in around her skull which now seemed misshapen.
The girl no longer screamed. Instead she gave brief, almost grunts as Isaac slammed her into the dumpster twice more, ignoring the mist of blood that covered his face and shirt. I heard her skull crack with the last blow and her body went completely limp. The sound was sickeningly wet and made bile rise in my throat, as did the sight of her once pretty face when Isaac let her body crumple onto its back and gazed down impassively. The blood was almost black around the splintered bone of her skull and as I stared I realized that the force of his blows had forced her left eye to push itself from the socket and now dangled from a cord of optical nerves down her cheek.
"Oh god." I covered my mouth and buried my face in Cern's chest, fight against the urge to vomit.
"He is wasteful." The god murmured, and in his voice I found sincere grief and anger. "This kill was not even for the need of food. Half of her blood has spilled at his feet."
"Take me back, Cern." I opened my eyes, staring in horror at Isaac as he crouched down beside the body and lift her good wrist. Titling his head, he hooked his finger around a silver bracelet and jerked it free to slip into his pocket. Just as he was standing, the world began to waver and quickly became a swirl of dark color before reforming into the sitting room I had first arrived in.
"I do not enjoy showing you such things, Mira." Cernnunos stepped forward as if to comfort me, but I held up a hand and shook my head. At the moment, I wasn't thinking beyond what I had just seen. The cruelty of it, because I knew Isaac had killed her simply for the pleasure of it.
"Do not think-"
"I need to wake up now." I said softly, eyes on the polished floor. For a long moment there was only silence, and then I heard the god exhale. My body suddenly felt as if it was weighted by rocks from the inside and I crumpled down onto my stomach with a cry. When I pushed myself up, it was on my bed in the hotel room. Without pause, I jumped to my feet and dashed into the nearest bathroom. Falling to my knees, I began vomiting so hard it hurt my stomach and made me dizzy, and when there was nothing left in my stomach, I dry-heaved.
Alrighty, time for another important address of issues.
Isaac, we love him…well, mostly I do, for being such a smarmy little prick all the time. Now he's different and everyone is freaking out. Asking for explanations to not only his change, but the rest of the story.
I know you have read normal books, and I know that in these sites(fan, and fic press) stories are not known for leaving things hanging for more than the length of a chapter or two. But I'm sorry for those of you who want all the answers at this very second, and I'm sorry this isn't a physical copy that you can skip to the end with.
Mira is the narrator in the story. Keep this in mind. She is NOT omniscient, and she does NOT notice every tiny shift in the ppl around her. There WILL BE things she does not understand, and things ppl will not tell her. And sometimes she will take time to catch on. This is simply PRACTICAL.
I KNOW how this story ends and I know what has to happen before we get to it, and I'm asking that you trust me to know how to write you there. There will be things you find frustrating and things you don't understand, just like Mira, but that's how stories are written. All the answers are not tossed out at you in the first couple pages, that just isn't how it works.
Don't take this as my disliking your criticisms, but I've just gotten way too many of the same question, and honestly, it's of people being impatient. YES, Cern will be returning, YES Colette is a bitch, YES Isaac has moments where he isn't an insufferable monster because otherwise no one could sympathize with his character in the places I needed them to!!
Normally I would send this as a message to the ppl that posted, but it seems that almost everyone is asking the same thing and that's kinda ridicules.
I'm not asking that you stop sending me criticisms, just stop telling me that you don't know what's going to happen or that you don't fully understand what already has, because HEY! I KNOW THAT.
It's kinda the point.
That being said I would really appreciate feedback on this chapter. I know there was a lot thrown at Mira, but I wanted it to be slightly disorienting.