Chapter 2: TAKING CARE OF WHAT'S IN FRONT OF ME

"Well that was interesting." Sheriff Althea Jarry greets Patterson as the DA enters the observation room after spending the past two hours with the Biker King and his lawyer on the other side of the two-way mirror. "A couple times there I thought Teller was going to lose it, and we'd have to run in and save your ass."

"Glad to know you had my back," Patterson replies dryly. "The man's a ticking time bomb. We either need to find a way to send him back inside or break all speed records to find the person who killed his wife. Otherwise, I warn you that the body count will be beyond anything any of us has ever seen before."

"What do you think, Nick?" Jarry looks over at the man who's still staring at the now empty chair that Teller had occupied during the two hour interview. "Find some way to violate his parole as a civic safety measure?"

Reese remains silent, as if considering his answer; then turning to face the two women, he shakes his head slowly. "No. We'll continue to withhold any information pertaining to the case - having no leads should slow down his vigilantism and keep the good people of San Joaquin County safe for now. In the meantime, Althea, look into Roosevelt's jacket; see if anyone he'd put away is now tasting freedom thanks to the county's all-to-generous parole board."

Jarry and Patterson exchange looks; if there were any lingering questions as to who'd be calling the shots on this case, they were gone now. "You got it, boss." Jarry nods at him and then Patterson before exiting the room.

"For a man who looked like he was at death's door a couple of days ago…" Bobby pulls Jax into a bear hug. "You look like a man at death's door. And smell like a distillery."

"Fuck off." Jax manages a small smile before turning to hug Chibs then Tig. "Gemma tell you I'd be here?" No doubt after he left with Rosen, his mother probably called the ice cream shop to tell the guys so they'd have his back after the meet with the DA.

Nodding, Chibs eyes him critically. "Bobby's right. You look like shit, Jackie. What the hell are you doing out of the hospital?"

"Got tired of the food," Jax snaps at him. "Look, I don't need a bunch of fucking blue hairs nagging at me. I'm fine."

"Are you?" Bobby asks quietly, his gentle tone causes Jax to stiffen and look away, suddenly unable to bear the grief in their eyes - it would break him, and he can't keep walking around like a goddamn wounded animal. Not when there's too much to do, too much at stake.

Jamming his hands in his pockets, he squares his shoulders and faces his Brothers. "Look, I appreciate the concern. But really, I'm fine. And that's even after spending the last couple of hours getting grilled by our friendly DA."

"About what?" Bobby grouses incredulously. "She can't possibly think you had anything to do with what happened to Tara or Roosevelt. And you were with us when…when…it happened. Hell, we all told her that when you were in the hospital."

Jax shakes his head. "Rosen thinks she's trying to find a way to send me back inside before I can find the person who killed Tara; afraid it'll get bloody."

"Before we find him…" Tig clarifies, his blue eye hard, as Bobby and Chibs nod grimly in agreement. "We're in this too, Brother. And it will get bloody."

Bobby's phone rings before Jax can respond. "It's Barosky," Bobby tells them before stepping away to take the call. Just as well, he's not ready to talk about his plans yet - not even to his Brothers.

Turning to Chibs and Tig, he steers them away from talk of retaliation. "By the way, thanks for getting Rosen back on board." Jax knows he's damn lucky that Rosen agreed to represent him after the long-time SAMCRO lawyer moved on to bigger fish, not to mention after Jax'd terrified Lowen into leaving town. "He's still a pompous prick, but the fucker knows what he's doing."

Chibs shakes his head. "We didn't hire him; didn't even get the chance. He showed up at the hospital not too long after you did. Gemma must've called him." Nodding, Jax makes a mental note to thank his mom for calling in a favor from the man she's known since he was a kid.

Bobby hangs up the phone and walks back towards them, a thoughtful frown furrowing his face. "Barosky heard from one of his cop friends that we've got a new Sheriff in town, fresh from the Stockton Organized Crime Unit. And her number one priority is to find Eli Roosevelt's killer. And Tara's, of course."

"Her?" Tig smirks. "We got a Sheriff in a skirt? Sounds fun."

"Althea Jarry." Bobby informs them. "Apparently she and Charlie are not members of each other's fan clubs; had more than a few run-ins when he was still with the PD. Which means she's probably not so flexible with the rule book."

"Great, just what we need…another Hale." Chibs scowls. "When does she start?"

"According to Barosky's source, she's already here." Bobby fixes his gaze on Jax. "Word around Stockton PD is that Roosevelt's murder riled up a lot of the state's top brass. Jarry was handpicked. Sounds like maybe they're thinking Roosevelt was the primary target."

Jax flashes back to the meeting with Patterson and the long rectangular mirror he'd faced the entire time; no doubt the new Sheriff was on the other side, taking in the show. "Maybe. Rosen and I went to see Cain yesterday." He doesn't think telling his Brothers equates to breaking his word not to divulge what the deputy disclosed; it's not like any of them would go squealing to the DA. "Cain said he heard that the Attorney General sent one of her minions to babysit Patterson on the case. Rosen thinks the state might use this to get the death penalty back in play - at least for cop killing." He feels sick at the thought that Tara might've been collateral damage in some sick fuck's plan to kill Roosevelt; there could've been so many other times to take down the Sheriff without robbing two little boys of their mother - without robbing him of his future. Once again, the murderous rage and thirst for blood-soaked revenge bubble to the surface; it's everything he can do to force it down.

"Well, we'll just have to be careful." Chibs rubs Jax's shoulder. "We'll find who did this to Tara, Jackie. He'll pay…"

Jax doesn't tell them about his decision to put his sons ahead of retaliation; that after the coroner releases Tara's body to him, he's taking the boys and getting the hell out of Charming. He knows that they'll be stunned and likely pissed, but they'd let him go; it's brutal irony that Tara's death would be the one thing that could set him free. Instead he remains silent, there's a few things he needs to do before putting his plan into motion.

The meeting with Patterson wasn't a complete time suck; Jax did learn that Tara's body was still at the Coroner's Office, and that the physical exam was finished. That means the Medical Examiner could tell him exactly how Tara died; Jax doesn't need to wait for a final autopsy report with the tox screen - with so much of her blood spattered all over their kitchen, he knows that she hadn't died from some drug or poison.

He begs off a Church meeting claiming to be tired, but after the guys drop him off at home, he jumps on his bike and heads off to Stockton. Willing or not, the ME's going to tell Jax what he wants to know.

After parking his bike, he heads to the back of one of the buildings. Most normal people wouldn't have a working knowledge of the Sanwa Sheriff's offices, but Jax isn't exactly like most normal people. Back in the days when they used to work with Trammel, the late Sheriff would more or less tell him and Clay everything about how the different offices ran, including how to break into the ME's lab (which they had to do a couple of times on Club business). And after a few minutes of close observation, Jax could tell nothing's changed; employees still didn't lock the side door next to the ME's lab so that they could grab quick smoke breaks.

Slipping through the unlocked door, Jax finds his target almost immediately - recognizing the skinny, balding man from Diosa; Barosky had pointed him out as one of the various community leaders who frequented the Stockton whorehouse. Walking up behind the man, Jax grabs his arm and hisses in his ear. "We need to talk…somewhere private." Jax can tell the man's about to protest so he tightens his grip. "Right now…unless you want your wife to know where you spend your Tuesday nights."

The ME stiffens then nods, leading Jax into a small lab further away from all the other offices. "Who are you?" Glaring at Jax, he rubs his arm. "What do you want? You're not supposed to be in here."

"Who I am is not important," Jax tells him coldly. "All I want to know is cause of death for Tara Knowles. And don't feed me any bullshit about waiting for the final report. You know what killed her." Jax taps his fingers across the knife strapped to his pants. "And if you're smart…you'll tell me, and then we can forget all about this little meeting."

The man's eyes widen in fear and then recognition. "You're that biker! Dr. Knowles' husband…"

Before Jax can reply, the door opens and a tall, blond man he's never seen before steps inside. "Well, this is…not a surprise. Run along, Dr. Morris - Lieutenant Jarry's looking for you. I can continue this conversation with Mr. Teller." But before the ME can scurry away, the other man blocks his exit. "Let's just keep this incident to the three of us, understood?" The cold menace in the man's tone belies the polite request, and Dr. Morris - no doubt anxious to get away - nods vigorously before practically running out of the room.

Jax eyes the stranger warily; the man's too well-dressed, too perfectly groomed to be from around here. Not even Rosen wears suits and shoes like this guy. Then suddenly it hits him who the man could be… "Let me guess, you're Patterson's state appointed babysitter." No point in dancing around what he knows; apparently the guy's not here to bust him or he wouldn't have told the ME to keep silent.

The man's blue eyes widen slightly before he recovers with a humorless chuckle. "I've been called many things, Mr. Teller, but 'babysitter' has never been on the list. Name's Nick Reese." He extends a hand, which Jax shakes warily. "I'm the AG's Chief Deputy. You can say, I'm here to offer my assistance."

So another fucking politician seeking the spotlight at Tara's expense; Jax's blood boils as he tamps down the urge to grab his knife and shove it into the bastard's goddamn face.

"So much rage." Reese's stares at him intently, a cold smile spreading across his face. "That's good. Very good."

The tiny thread holding on to Jax's patience snaps. "Listen, I don't know what your fucking game is with the DA; I don't give a shit. All I want is to find out what happened to my wife. And you've got about ten seconds to tell me before…"

"Eli Roosevelt wasn't the primary target. He was shot in the back, a quick and relatively painless end - compared to what happened to…Dr. Knowles." There's something in the man's tone that sets off Jax's warning senses, but before he can identify it, Reese drops the bomb that obliterates the fragile grip Jax's had on his control. "Dr. Knowles' killer had tried to drown her in the sink, and when she tried to fight it…the killer stabbed her in the back of the head - six times. And with enough force to crack her skull."

Jax's seen more than his share of brutal, grisly death - a lot of it done by his own hand. But for a few exceptions, like the bloody ends he'd meted out to the bastards who killed Opie and the psycho ATF agent who terrorized Tara, he'd be lying if he claimed those deaths didn't haunt him - only Tara had always known. "I know the turmoil you live with, Jax. I feel the pain you wake up with every day." But this… Holy Fucking Christ…there's no fucking living with this. His knees buckle, forcing him to grab the lab table to keep from falling to the ground. Cradling his head in his hands, he's suddenly swamped with images of her…

…saving his eight-year-old ass from a bully with a water-gun filled with salt water
…beaming up at him when he told her he loved her for first time
…smiling softly as she pressed his hands against her pregnant belly so they could feel their baby move inside her
…glowing with love as he finally slid a wedding ring on to her finger

And then, there's nothing but blood - Tara's blood - all over the kitchen, all over his hands and clothes when he'd held her…
Completely losing his shit, he swings his arms widely across the lab table - sending all the contents shattering and spilling on to the floor. Picking up a stool, he hurls it across the room to smash a glass cabinet, triggering an alarm. It's the loud, shrill sound that penetrates the rage-fueled fog in Jax's brain, stopping him in his tracks. Clutching the lab table, he closes his eyes and tries to control his ragged breathing.

"You'd better get out of here, before those hayseed deputies remember how to do their jobs." Suddenly remembering that he's not alone, Jax looks around wildly until he meets the icy blue gaze of the man who'd thoroughly and excruciatingly destroyed any hope he'd had of keeping his pain and rage and hate in check. There's no fucking way, no goddamn fucking way he can walk away from Charming until he finds and butchers Tara's murderer. As if approving the turn of Jax's murderous thoughts, Reese smiles slowly before looking out into the hallway and signaling to him that all was clear. "Go now. I'll be in touch. We have some work to do."

"But I want to go with you, Mommy." Blue eyes filling with tears but no less defiant, Abel ignores Bobby's promise of both ice cream and cookies, refusing to unclasp his arms from around Tara's leg. "Please."

Jax watches as Tara, holding Thomas, crouches down on one knee to be eye level with their oldest son. Despite the grimness of his situation - he's about to meet with the DA about a deal that'll send him to prison for years - a slight smile tugs at his lips as Abel throw his arms around his mother and little brother, burying his face into her shoulder. Pretty much since birth, Abel's harbored a strong attachment to the beautiful doctor who'd eventually become his mother. Jax's often wondered if it was a bond that forged when Tara, the gifted surgeon, had literally saved the baby's life. Then sometimes, in his rare fanciful moods, he wonders if his own bone-deep love for her had passed on to his son - actually both of his sons, as Thomas also seems to share his father and brother's fascination for the same woman.

"It won't be long, baby, I promise." Tara soothes him, running her fingers through his blond hair as Abel lifts his head from her shoulder. "Mommy and Daddy need to meet with someone for just a little bit. Then Daddy'll come by to play with you and Thomas. I'll pick you up later and…" She flashes Abel an impish smile that sets Jax's heart pounding. "We can have breakfast for dinner!"

The little boy's tears vanish, replaced by an excited smile. "Pancakes?" he asks hopefully, his small hand still clutching her arm.

"Double pancakes." She ups the ante, much to Abel's delight. "Now do you remember what we talked about this morning? We're not going on our trip anymore, but I still need you to do me that favor."

Jax can't help but smile again as Abel nods solemnly and peers into Thomas' face, finger-combing the baby's hair just like he's probably seen Tara do to all three Teller men. "I'm the big brother."

"That's right, baby. And I'm the luckiest Mommy in the universe." Tara squeezes both boys tight. "I love you both, so much. So much."

Sitting in the St. Thomas parking lot, Jax wonders once again how in hell he'll be able to face his sons, knowing that it was his fault that their mother was dead. It'd been painful enough to suspect that she'd been killed because of some connection to SAMCRO, but now knowing for certain was eating him alive. Especially knowing how she'd died…

After destroying the ME's lab, he'd raced out of the Sheriff's building - only to puke his guts out the second he got outside. Then he'd jumped on his bike, gunning up to max speeds - daring either the cops to arrest him or the road to take him, he really didn't give a shit. It wasn't until later, after answering a call from Rosen, when he'd finally pulled his head out of his ass. Listening to the lawyer tell him about tomorrow's meet with Lowen to discuss Tara's will forced him think of his boys and the promise he'd made to raise them away from Charming. He can't fulfill that promise if he's lying bloody and dead on the road.

Entering the hospital, he heads for the daycare, trying desperately not to think about all the happier times he'd walked these halls eager to spend time with Tara. So intent at trying to block out memories, he doesn't notice Margaret Murphy until she grabs his arm and pulls him around to face her.

"Sorry, but I really need to talk to you before you pick up the boys." She releases his arm and steps back. "I'm not sure what Gemma's been able to tell you, but…"

Frowning, he glances over at the entrance to the daycare; dread and panic filling him at the thought that one or both of his sons could be hurt. "What is it? Is something wrong with Abel or Thomas?" He stares hard at Tara's former boss, trying to interpret the concern on her face.

Hesitating for a moment, Margaret guides him to sit down in one of the chairs next to the daycare entrance. "Their mother's death hit both boys very hard. Thomas is too young to understand what happened, but he doesn't miss her any less. The daycare manager told me that he cries all the time, won't go down for naps and sometimes refuses to eat."

"Jesus…" Jax breathes harshly, burying his face in his hands.

"And then there's Abel…" Alarmed by the tone in her voice, he glances up, heart sinking at the troubled look on her face. "Jax, he's stopped talking. Gemma told me that he's not said a word since she told him about Tara. She's worried, Jax. We all are."

Jax runs a hand across his face; it crushes him to know about his sons' pain, although he can't say he's surprised given his own anguish - they'd all lost the person they loved the most; there's no fucking way to recover from that quickly, if at all. "Thanks for letting me know," he tells her quietly. "I'm going to take them home now. And if you're okay with it, I'll bring them back tomorrow."

"Of course," she replies quickly. "I told you that they're always be welcome here."

"So I was thinking, maybe we could have pancakes for dinner. Sound good?" Jax glances into the rearview mirror at Abel, trying anything to get a reaction from his young son. He may as well have been fucking talking to himself as Abel remains silent, his gaze focused out the window.

Despite Margaret's head's up about his sons' troubles, going into the daycare had been a jarring experience. Ever since he'd learned to walk, Abel had always run to greet him, leaping into his arms with happy cries of "Daddy!" Not this time. His son barely acknowledged him, didn't even move when Jax crouched down to hug him. And Thomas, Jesus Christ…Jax's always loved that his baby boy inherited Tara's gorgeous mossy green eyes. But staring into those same eyes had nearly driven Jax to his knees.

Giving up at trying to engage Abel, he drives them home in silence; his mind completely focused on not dwelling on the crushing revelation around Tara's death. He can't bear to think about what she might've suffered in her final minutes, especially not with the boys in the car; he can't lose control in front of them. Instead he fixes his thoughts on Chief Deputy AG, Nick Reese. What the fuck was the guy's angle? Going behind the DA's back to feed Jax the truth about Tara and Roosevelt's deaths, was he baiting some kind of trap where he needed to see Jax's grief and rage up close? In his call with Rosen this afternoon, he didn't mention the run-in with Reese, but tomorrow, he'll grill both Rosen and Lowen on what they know about the AG's slick golden boy.

Turning on his street, he spots his mother's car in the driveway and groans silently. He truly appreciates everything she's done for him and his boys, but he doesn't have the fucking energy to deal with any of her shit right now. Also, after putting the boys to bed, he needs to start thinking more about the plan to leave Charming and The Sons - and how his burning need to exact retaliation for Tara will fit into those plans. He knows it'll kill Gemma to be left behind, but he owes it to Tara to honor what she wanted - for the boys to grow up far away from SAMCRO and far away from Gemma because, in Tara's mind, one fueled the other.

After pulling Thomas out of the back seat, he goes to the other side to release Abel from his car seat; he'd barely finished unbuckling all the straps when his son springs out of the seat and out of the car. "Abel!" Jax shouts, not sure where the little boy might run; his shoulders slump in relief when Abel darts up the front steps and starts pounding on the door.

Carrying Thomas, Jax reaches the front stoop just as his mother opens the door. "What the hell…" Gemma sputters as Abel pushes past her and takes off down the hall towards his room. Except he doesn't go to his room. Eyes stinging, Jax swallows hard as Abel pushes open the door to his parents' bedroom and rushes inside, "Mommy! Mommy!"

"Oh, Jesus." Gemma whispers hoarsely. "I told you that you can't let them stay here…We have to take them back to my place now."

Handing Thomas to her, he shakes his head. "Leave it alone, Mom. We're staying here." Taking off after Abel, he pauses in his bedroom doorway, heart pounding as he watches his son standing by the bed, desperately scanning every inch of the room for where Tara could possibly be hiding.

Running his hands through his hair, Jax walks into the room and crouches next to his distraught son, rubbing the little boy's shaking shoulder. "Hey," he whispers gently. "Look, buddy. Mommy's not here. Grandma told you she went to heaven and…" But Abel doesn't let him finish, bolting to his bedroom and slamming the door behind him.

Sighing heavily, Jax trudges out into the hallway towards Gemma, who's still standing in the same spot by the front door, as if frozen in place. "What're we going to do, Jackson?" She swipes the tears in her eyes as Jax takes Thomas from her.

"Do?" He hisses as the all-too-familiar rage burns through him again. "I'm going to find the monster who took her from them…" He glances at Abel's closed door while squeezing Thomas tight against him. "…and from me. And when I do…he'll feel Tara's pain, all of our pain. Believe me, Mom, compared to that, hell will be paradise."