Remus stared at the blank stone wall as he laid out in his cot before rolling on to his back and staring up at the same grey ceiling he had been staring at for the past half hour. Staying in a werewolf colony was a very different experience from what he had thought it to be, well this one to be precise. He had been expeting something a little less….nice if you could say that. It was an old run down building that they had converted in to their home, casted away from society they had developed their own. He had been here 5 weeks and thus so far not figured a whole lot out. He knew they were leaning towards siding with Voldemort. The leader of the group was a werewolf named Gabriel, who Remus thought of very much like his own maker, wanting to bite innocents for the fun of it which Remus figured that Voldemort had offered them. A majority of the colony hated humans and wizards while the other was slightly neutral, not half as extreme as Gabriel who every day brought new werewolves siding with him. Remus' thoughts traveled back to Rebecca wondering how she was doing. It had broken his heart leaving her like he did but he knew it was for the best. He was far too dangerous for her or for anyone…well not entirely everyone. Hannah…she was a young werewolf, possibly slightly younger by a year or two who had shown an interest in him. Of course he didn't want to pursue it, he had not left Rebecca just a few weeks ago and he was only going to be here for another week. Hannah was pretty though, soft blonde curls and bright blue eyes, always smiling and laughing which helped to lift his spirits even on the darkest of days- No it was wrong. He sighed to himself as he rolled back over and was met with once again a stone grey wall. One more week.

How the hell was this possible? She didn't want a baby, that was one thing she didn't need right now. The thought of having a kid made her head hurt but the thought of raising a child alone haunted her every thought. How could she have been so stupid as to forget contraception?

"Hey Becky, glad to have you back." One of the healers smiled as she walked in and grabbed a potion off the shelf.

"Yeah." Rebecca said forcing a smile before looking down at the cauldron in front of her. She had options, options as to what to do with the baby. The first thought that came to mind seemed most logical to her, not to have it in the first place, there were spells and potions that she could use to do that. Her hand dropped to her flat stomach as she imagined the baby growing inside, ending a life before it even started. She couldn't do that; it would haunt her for the rest of her life, wondering what if. She could also have the baby and give it up for adoption. That option seemed like the best but what would everyone say? She was not married, she and Remus were broken up and what would happen if everyone found out what had happened between her and Sirius? The last option was to just keep it but what the hell would she do with a baby? She knew nothing about babies except they were a lot of work, and her life was hectic enough as it was.

"Becky?"

Rebecca looked up and saw Lily with a worried look on her face.

"Yeah?"

"Everything alright?"

"Yeah, yeah everything is fine, do you need something?"

"I just came for a pepper up potion." Lily sighed as she went to the cabinet and got out a vial before turning back to Rebecca.

"Are you sure you're alright…you know being back?"

"Yeah why wouldn't I be? I'm fine, perfectly fine." Rebecca said with a shrug.

"Becky I know you a little better than that, I know something is bothering you. You have this kind of glazed look in your eyes."

"Its probably because I'm a little tired, I was really looking forward to coming back to work, didn't sleep much last night."

Lily observed her before sighing and turning back to the cabinet and Rebecca slowly stirred the potion.

"If you're not ready to come back Becky its alright-."

"Lily I really am fine, I appreciate the concern but I'm fine." Rebecca said firmly and Lily bit her lip and nodded.

"Alright well I'll see you later then." She said and walked out.

"Yeah sure." Rebecca sighed as she watched Lily disappear and shook her head to herself. She wanted to tell Lily, she really wanted to but something inside her wanted to keep quiet about the whole thing, somehow saying it out loud made it seem so much more real. She hated this.

Sirius knocked on the front door of the cottage and stepped inside.

"Rebecca." He called out as he closed the door and hung up his coat. He peered in to the kitchen and saw Rebecca sitting at the table with a mug in hand and a single piece of paper sitting on the table in front of her.

"Hey." He said as he walked over and poured himself a mug of hot water.

"I spent the entire day cleaning." He sighed as he opened the cabinet and searched around the for the box of tea she always kept. "I think you'd be impressed, its pretty much fit for a king if I may say so." He chuckled and turned around to look at her and saw her staring at the piece of paper.

"Hey, is everything alright?" He asked and she looked up at him, a solemn look on her face and she cleared her throat.

"I'm fine." She said as her voice cracked and she grabbed the paper and folded it and shoved it in to her pocket.

"No you're not, what's wrong?" He said as he sat down across from her and she took a deep breath and closed her eyes.

"I'm uh…I don't think there is an easy way to say this so I am just going to come out with it." She said and paused.

"Are you dying?" He asked wide eyed and she let out a small laugh and shook her head.

"Oh that's good, what's wrong then?" He asked and let out a relieved breath and leaned back and took a drink of his tea.

"I'm pregnant." She said and he choked on his tea, setting the mug down on the table as he coughed until he caught his breath.

"Did you just say you're pregnant?" He asked wide eyed and she bit her lip and nodded.

"This isn't funny Rebecca."

"Yeah believe me I wish I was joking too." She muttered and took a drink of her hot chocolate.

"Is it-."

"Its not yours." She said quickly and looked at him.

"Oh." He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "So that means-."

"Yeah it's Remus' and I have no idea what I am going to do."

"Well he will be home soon wont he?"

"Yeah and what difference does that make? He broke up with me if I remember correctly."

"Moony wouldn't let you do this alone; he would do the right thing-."

"Who says I want him back?" She snapped as she stood up.

"But-."

"He broke my heart leaving the way he did and what's to say he even wants this baby?"

"Remus is a good guy he would take care of you, I know Moony."

"So I should just dismiss that he up and left the way he did?"

"I'm sure he was just thinking of you-."

"Get out." She sneered.

"Rebecca I just-."

"I cant believe you are just going to sit here and defend him like this trying to justify what he did, get out, now." She said pointing to the door.

"Rebecca…" He trailed off and sighed before standing up. "Alright, I'll see you later." He said and walked out. She listened to the door close before she sat back down and took a deep breath, she could do this.

"Remus?" A voice said from the doorway and he glanced up from his trunk he was packing at Hannah.

"Hi."

"Are you leaving?"

"Yeah." He sighed as he rubbed the back of his neck.

"Oh." She said softly looking disappointed.

"Yeah." He said and slowly turned back to packing as she walked over and sat on his bed.

"Do you have to go?"

"I'm afraid so."

"Will you be back?"

"I don't know." He said and grabbed the books next to her.

"I really do wish you weren't leaving." She said as she looked at him and got up.

"So do I."

"It feels like yesterday you just got here and now…you're leaving." She sighed as she grabbed the book he was reaching for.

"Now you can't leave." She said with a smile as she held it away from her and he smiled.

"I sort of need that."

"Well come and get it then." She smirked and he laughed as she held it above her.

"You do know I am taller than you right?"

"So." She said simply with a shrug.

"You're really going to make me do this?" He asked and she laughed and nodded. He walked towards her and she took steps back as he tried to grab it from her. He grabbed the book as she pressed against the wall and smiled at him, her chest rising and falling against his. Her blue eyes glimmered happily at him as he stared in to them and she stood on her tip toes, her lips meeting his.

He wanted to enjoy it, her lips were soft and warm as they moved against his but all he could think of was Rebecca and how much he missed her.

"Hannah." He sighed as he pulled away from her. "I can't."

"What's wrong?" She asked with a frown.

"I just…" He sighed and turned away from her.

"What's her name?"

"Becky." He said as he sat down on his bed.

"Well she is a very lucky girl." She said as she sat down next to him.

"We're not together. I could never ask for her to take me back though and I'm the lucky one. She is amazing."

"I am sure she would take you back."

"No…I don't think she would."

"Well she would be crazy not to." Hannah said as she took his hand.

"Thank you Hannah."

"You will come back to visit me sometime right?"

"I'll do my best." He smiled and she smiled back at him.

"Alright well I'll let you get back to packing. You better come say good bye alright?"

"I promise, I wouldn't leave without saying good bye."

"Alright well I guess I will see you in a while." She said as she got up and walked out of the room with a small wave and he looked out the window before shaking his head to himself and got up to continue packing.

White. Blue. Yellow. Green. The colors covered the room as Rebecca looked around at the group around her. It was Lily and Alice's baby shower. The bellies around the room made her conscious of her own growing belly which she had noticed had a very slight swell to it, almost invisible unless you really knew. She silently wondered if it was perhaps a boy or grl as she laid her hand on her belly. She would do things right, make sure she was always there and supportive, she wanted to be nothing like her own mother. She kind of liked the possibility of a girl, a little baby girl…

"Becky?" Lily said dragging Rebecca from her thoughts and she looked up at a concerned looking Lily.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah." Rebecca said slowly as she looked around and saw that the last of the guests were leaving, Alice bidding them good bye at the door.

"You know you haven't been yourself these past few days." She said as she sat down.

Well she was going to find out anyways, a baby was sort of hard to hide. "Is there something going on?"

"Well…" Rebecca said and paused as she looked at Lily's face full of concern, Lily had never been one to be judgmental. She should have been the first to know, she would have been supportive.

"Lily do you want me to stay and help clean up?" Alice asked as she walked over.

"No, James will do it." Lily smiled.

"Alright well I'll see you later." Alice said and hugged Lily before hugging Rebecca and heading out the front door before Lily turned back to Rebecca.

"Lily…" Rebecca said and bit her lip as she clasped her hands together. "I'm pregnant." She said her voice cracking.

"Oh, wow." Lily said and leaned back against the couch. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, 6 weeks."

"What are you going to do?"

"I don't know." Rebecca sighed, cupping her face in her hands. "I never planned on having kids."

"You can always put it up for adoption."

"But what if I want to keep it?"

"Then keep it, Becky you have a while to think about it, its not like you're having it tomorrow."

"I know but…it's just not what I had planned."

"Becky a lot of things in life are very much unplanned, I mean do you think I had planned on marrying James and now have his child? If you would have told me that two years ago I would have laughed at you."

"But at least you have James." Rebecca said weakly as she got up. "I mean how do I tell Remus this when he gets back? We never talked about kids and what if he wants nothing to do with it."

"Becky I know Remus would do the right thing-."

"That's just it, I would want him involved because he thinks it's the right thing, I would want him there because he wants to be there, not because he feels obligated to."

Becky, Rmus loves you-."

"Then why would he leave me the way he did?"

"I'm sure he had his reasons, Remus is the kindest person I know, and he would never intentionally hurt any one, least of all you."

"I just…I'm just confused about this whole thing, I don't know what to do and I'm really scared Lily."

"Hey come here." Lily said patting next to her. "You're not alone alright? You have all of us, you have the Order, you're not alone, we are all here for you alright? I wont let you do this alone either, it is a little scary but I just keep thinking about that moment, when I get to hold him in my arms, it helps when things are kind of miserable."

"Good to know things get worse than this." Rebecca grumbled.

"Do you get morning sickness?"

"Not really, my stomach just gets upset."

"Well it could be worse; you could be throwing up every morning." Lily said with a small assuring smile.

"Yeah I guess it could be worse."

"Now would you be up for some hot chocolate?"

"Aren't I always?" Rebecca smiled.

Sirius stared in to the fire before him as he swirled around his glass of scotch. The past few days his thoughts had been occupied by Rebecca and the surprising news of her pregnancy. It was hard to imagine Rebecca pregnant in his mind; she had never really seemed the motherly type like Lily or Alice. He often wondered what things would be like if it had indeed been his child, the thought at first had scared him but now he couldn't help but picture a family, the one he had dreamed of having some day. He would make things right, perhaps if it was a little girl he would spoil her rotten and give her more love than his own father had ever shown. Part of him wished it had been him who was the father and he had never been envious of Remus until now. A knock at the door interrupted his thoughts and he sighed as he got up and walked to the door. He opened it and stared in surprise at Remus standing on his doorstep.

"M-Moony." Sirius said and took a deep breath as he recovered.

"Hey Pads." He said wearily with a small smile.

"You're back."

"Yeah, you moved."

"I did. Uh would you like to come in?" Sirius offered as Remus glanced around before nodding and stepping inside.

"When did you get back?"

"Yesterday."

"Oh?"

"I'm staying at the Leaky Cauldron right now…when did you move?" Remus asked as he looked around the living room.

"A few weeks ago."

"I like it."

"Thanks. Uh would you like a drink?" Sirius asked as he walked over to the bottle of scotch sitting on the table.

"Uh, sure." Remus said as he ran his hands through his hair.

"Take a seat." Sirius said as he poured him a glass before walking over and handing the drink to him.

"Thank you." Remus said softly as Sirius sat down. "How is Becky? Have you seen her?"

Sirius stared at his scotch for a moment pondering on what to say to Remus, part of him wanted to tell him everything that went on with him and Rebecca yet part of him didn't, part of him wanted to keep that piece to himself, oh envy was an awful thing.

"She's alright I suppose."

"Is she…seeing anyone?"

"Uh not to my knowledge, are you going to go see her?"

"I want to…but I don't think she is going to want to see me."

That was probably true, she hadn't been so keen on seeing Remus the last time he had seen her.

"Well maybe you should at least talk to her, tell her you're back."

"What's the point? She probably hates me."

"Moony I don't think she hates you."

"How do you know?"

"I just do."

"Maybe I'll owl her." Remus sighed and took a drink of his scotch.

"So how was it?"

"Different, it's not like anything I have ever experienced before."

"Did you find anything out?"

"Not really…Pads was it a mistake to leave?"

"What?"

"I need to see Becky." Remus said as he got up and set the glass down.

"Uh Moony, probably not-."

"I'll see you later Pads." Remus said before he walked out of the room leaving Sirius staring after him.

"A good idea." Sirius sighed before taking another drink of the scotch before resuming his seat.

Rebecca smiled to herself as she opened the pan, the wave of scents hitting her nose before she stirred around the food inside. It had been such a long time since she had really cooked. She glanced out the window and froze when she saw a figure walking towards the house and she grabbed her wand quickly off the counter as she hid around the corner from the door. Her heart pounded as she thought of the possibility of Death Eaters. The knock at the door assured her it wasn't and she lowered her wand slightly as she walked to the door and peered through the curtains and saw Remus standing on the other side pacing back and forth looking as if he was debating on leaving or not. She opened the door and he stopped and looked at her. She wanted to do a lot of things right now, she wanted to hug him, she wanted to kiss him, she wanted to throw things at him and scream but she just stared at him as he looked back at her.

"Hi Becky.' He said softly as he shoved his hands in his pockets. She said nothing as she debated on what to do trying to decide whether she should close the door on him or welcome him in. "Will you say something please?" He asked and she gripped the handle tightly and sighed before letting it go and stepping aside.

"Well are you going to come inside?" She asked and he looked at her surprised before stepping inside quickly.

"Wow it smells good." He said and closed the door behind him.

"Why are you here?" She asked as she turned to him.

"I wanted to see you."

"But you didn't want to see me a few weeks ago?" She snapped.

"Becky I can't tell you how sorry I am…I never should have left."

"But you did."

"I know and I'm sorry, I truly am, I never meant to hurt you."

"But you did Remus, you really hurt me." She said as she felt herself choke up and she turned away from him and walked back in to the kitchen and he followed her.

"I missed you Becky." He sighed. "And I can not tell you how sorry I am."

"Sorry doesn't fix it Remus. Sorry doesn't take back what you did."

"And I wouldn't want it to, I just came here…I wanted to see you and tell you I'm sorry, that's all." He sighed and she turned to him. "I'll take my leave right now; I hope you have a good night." He said with a small nod and went to leave.

"Wait." She said quickly and took a deep breath, crossing her arms over her chest. He looked at her expectantly as she sighed.

"Would you like to stay for dinner?"

"Are you sure?"

"No."

"Would you like me to go?"

"No."

"What do you want me to do?" He asked and she pursed her lips as she looked around the room.

"Just sit down there and let me finish dinner." She said pointing to the table and turned around back to the food.

"How are you?"

"Fine."

"So are you back at work?"

"Yeah, a little over a week now."

"How is that going?"

"Alright I suppose." She said with a shrug, not looking back at him as she cooked the food. A silence filled the air with the sizzling of the food as the only sound filling the air until Remus sighed and she glanced back at him.

"You look tired."

"A little. You look…really good." He said as he folded his hands in front of him.

"Thanks." She said softly and turned back around.

"So uh…" Remus said and faltered for a moment before sighing. "Are you sure you want me here?"

"You don't have to stay, you can go, I'm not going to stop you. Seemed pretty easy before." She muttered and heard the chair scraping across the floor and she turned around as Remus stood before her.

"Do you think that was what I wanted?"

"Well-."

"Becky I love you, leaving was the hardest thing I have ever done."

"Then why did you do it in the first place? Its not like anyone forced you to leave." She snapped and he looked down at his shoes.

"I hurt you Becky." He said weakly as he looked up at her, pain in his eyes.

"It wasn't your fault-."

"It was my fault." He said forcefully.

"Remus I chose to be there."

"I should have stopped it, I should have known better." He said weakly as he bowed his head.

"Why do you always take the blame for everything?" She asked, her hands lightly taking his face so he looked at her.

"I love you Becky I'm so sorry-."

"Quit saying you're sorry."

"But I am."

"I get that, alright? I get that you're sorry you don't need to keep telling me."

"I just…missed you, a lot."

She sighed as she looked at him and rubbed her thumb over his cheek lightly.

"I missed you too." She said as she looked from his eyes to his lips, licking her own before dropping her hands. He sighed before planting a kiss on her forehead.

"Do you want to get the plates out?" She asked as she looked up at him.

He nodded before stepping away from her and she turned back to the food, watching him as he set out the plates and cutlery as he looked back at her.

Dinner went by relatively slow, consisting of fleeting looks across the table at each other until they were finished.

"Where are you staying?" She asked as she walked him to the door afterwards.

"The Leaky Cauldron." He sighed as he took his jacket off the hook.

"Oh…do you…want to stay here?" She asked and bit her lip as she looked at him.

"Not tonight."

"Oh, alright." She said and he opened the door and turned to her.

"Do you think…I could…see you again?" He asked and she gave him a humorous smile.

"Of course."

"Perhaps dinner tomorrow? We'll go to that one restaurant in town you like."

"Sounds nice."

"I'll come by at eight?"

"I'll be here." She smiled and he smiled back at her before kissing her cheek lightly and took a deep breath.

"Alright I'll see you tomorrow." He said and stepped outside, closing the door silently behind him. She peered through curtains and watched him until he Disapperated before sighing to herself laying her hand over her stomach, this was going to be harder than she thought.

Alright this chapter was surprisingly hard to write i literally had like no motivation and i finally got my second job so it leaves little time for writing and so that means i havent even started on the next chapter, i will try and get it out by at lest next saturday if not sunday. Please rate and review =)