Oh my, boys and girls, this PLEASE READ THIS!
Ok, when I posted the last chapter, I had intended to post this one directly after. There was never supposed to be a cliffhanger, and after reading all of your wonderful reviews, I've realized how the closing remark in the last chapter must have looked. It was intended to be a remark that Cern brushed off as Mira be her normal angsty, ridiculous self, but now seems blown out of proportion. For that I apologize.
For those of you who were excited about this new development, forgive me, but Mira is not a monster now. There is still much that is going to happen to this unfortunate girl, so be patient. She will have her moments when the time comes. Until then, here is the next chapter. A bit short but, the next one is really where it gets fun.
"I don't think I'm human anymore."
"I do not understand." Cernunnos frowned, holding me at arm's length to search my expression. "What has happened to you?"
"I told you. I did something ter…I…"my head hung a bit so I could stare at the ground and make sure it was still beneath my feet. Was this real? Had I really just…
"You are being intentionally vague, is it not as bad as it seemed now that I've pulled you away." He sounded irritated. "What is it you have done?"
"Isaac…" I began to blame the vampire, but couldn't, my chest tightened and I covered my face. I would have pulled away, if Cern didn't hold me so still.
"There was a girl, and Isaac had to…she died."
"All human's die. It is natural."
I glared up at him, jerking away and this time he let me, bright impossible eyes starring me down intently.
"This wasn't natural." I seethed. "She was murdered, and I…" I choked on tears I hadn't known were falling and shook my head. "I let it happen. I helped."
Cern let me stand in silence a long moment, before his hands brushed my skin again, warm and comforting, as if he could chase away the cold in me. When he cupped my cheek, I leaned into it, closing my eyes.
"You are still as human as you ever were, little one." He said softly, lifting my face to search my eyes. "This girl, did she hurt you?"
"She tried." I answered miserably.
"And you defended yourself." He reasoned, still so calm, so confident and stable. Why couldn't I be so incredibly collected? Why couldn't I handle the things around me, like the other monsters?
"It doesn't matter!" I cried suddenly, slapping away his hands. He didn't seem to mind, and only continued to watch me. "Why is everyone so convinced that they can rationalize this? It was murder! She cried and she screamed and fought, just like I would have done, and the second she hurt me, I told Isaac- I told him- to kill her. Is that rational? Is that acceptable?"
Cern titled his head, his expression remaining damned neutral, but didn't reply, so I raged on.
"I shouldn't have done that, Cern. I shouldn't have even considered it, regardless of how angry or hurt I was. Murder should never be an option, and I just…" I hung my head again, dragging hands through my hair and gripping it until it hurt before I glared back up at him.
"You did this." I seethed. "You took me away, you broke me and the crack won't stop spreading. How long until I've become someone else, someone cruel? Will I even recognize the change when it comes? Will I know that I'm a monster?" I kept my head down, letting my hair hide my face from him while my eyes found the small pouch on his belt. So innocuous, a simple little bag, and yet inside it held my last hope at remaining human.
Cern replied softly, but I could hear the amusement in his voice. Amusement at my expense. "And what will you do now, little Mira? How will you move on if I have so thoroughly ruined you?"
I looked up at him, eyes narrowed, though he only smiled that small mocking grin of his and the anger became foolish hope.
"I'll save myself."
My hand was on the pouch before he knew what I intended, and by then it was too late. I jerked it away, ripping the tie from his belt and ran the opposite direction. I don't think it could have ever worked, if Cern hadn't been so incredibly shocked by my boldness. He only stared after me, expression unreadable, and by then it didn't much matter. I didn't know where I could possibly run, the forest was dark, and I could never find my way out of it even if I tried, but I kept going. My best plan was to find a place to hide, just long enough that I could stuff my soul back into its place.
Assuming I could at all, but that was a problem I would deal with later.
I think I nearly peed myself when the first arrow whizzed through the tips of my hair and into the tree beside me. For a long moment I couldn't move. Couldn't do anything but stare at the arrow that would have impaled my face had I not been in motion. Had Cern really done this?
"You actually tried to hit me!" I said aloud, too shocked to keep it silent, "You bastard!"
I heard the creak of another arrow being notched and took off just before it impaled the tree at my other side. More arrows flew, so fast I was sure there had to be more than one person shooting. If Cern hadn't been a God, it would have been impossible. He was, after all, the God of the Hunt, and now it seemed I was his prey. Not a comforting thought.
The trees parted for a small clearing, where the moon shone down so brightly it illuminated everything around me. Being in open space with a madman shooting at my back was not a good idea, but I had little choice, and knew I could never make it should I turn back, so I dashed on. Against the tight resistance of my latex pants, and the unyielding hold of my corset, making my breath come in shallow ragged pulls, I ran. And then there was the whizzing sound of another arrow shaft tearing through the air, and I turned just in time to see it break through the foliage and bury itself in my upper thigh. The force of the arrow sent me hurtling to the side, and the pain was so intense, so all-consuming that I screamed, falling into the grass and clutching at the draw-string pouch as if it were my life-preserver. And in a way I knew it was.
I tried to crawl away as I heard Cernunnos enter the clearing. Usually, in his home-made leather boots, even running was silent. But now, as I clutched at my soul and dragged myself along the ground, he wanted me to hear him. The sound of punishment approaching. Cernnunos grabbed my ankle when I continued to crawl from him, and suddenly I had left the ground and was flying through the air. The ground slammed back up against me with enough force to knock the air from my lungs and I was left gasping desperately for oxygen.
He'd thrown me. Like a doll, as if I were nothing, and I suppose to him, I was. How very small I must have looked to the god.
Rolling onto my back, I fought to draw a deep breath, then promptly froze when the angry god approached. He moved fluidly onto one knee above me, his absinthe colored eyes positively seething with rage, the color swirling restlessly as I watched. I opened my mouth to explain, but he grabbed the shaft of the arrow and, without pause, twisted.
My scream echoed around the clearing, sending a flock of darkly colored birds off into the darkness, though I didn't know what birds would be doing out this late. When I'd dissolved into wracking sobs, he leaned in closer.
"It is not wise," his voice was a quiet rumble of distant thunder, "to anger a God, Mira." I blinked, swallowing my tears and tried to melt into the forest floor.
"To steal from one indicates only that you yearn for death." He shifted the arrow in my flesh, watching impassively as I hissed in pain. "If that is the case, I can assure you, it will be a slow one."
"I don't like this!" I cried, taking a ragged breath.
"That is the purpose of pain." He replied evenly.
"No, I mean," it was difficult to think past my agony, the wound burned as if the arrow had been tipped in acid, "this…emptiness." What other way was there to describe it? "I can feel it now, Cern. I can feel the hole and it's spreading! I can feel the absence of what you ripped out of me and…it's…"I trialed off, clutching the pouch to my chest with white knuckles.
Cernnunos leaned back enough to give me room, his expression, as always, was impassive. Blank if not for the swirl of emotion I saw in his eyes, but they were far too intense to hold long enough to read it.
"I cannot feel your loss, nor understand its pain," he lifted my chin, non too gently, to find my eyes again, "But neither will I return what is rightfully mine."
He continued over me when I tried to argue.
"I have severed you from your mortal inadequacies and you should be thankful for their absence." His eyes narrowed slightly in warning, "I could tear away your free will just as easily. However, without that, my interest would quickly fade."
In other words, he liked his pets to challenge him, but only within reason, and only when it concerned matters he was willing to discuss. Should my occasional challenges fade to complete submission, he would tire of me.
I wanted to scream.
The ache, however, was ever-present. The lack of what he'd stolen was starting to blur my black and white ideals. I was becoming too comfortable with the thought of human death. Isaac said Cern had taken my humanity, but I didn't want to believe such things could be stolen. Then again, Isaac lacked that same piece of himself, being a vampire. How else could his kind so easily kill? Whatever the case, I did not like the idea of becoming anything like Isaac. The sadistic bastard, I refused!
"I don't like what it's doing to me." I began, intent on trying to convince him again, but without warning Cern pulled the arrow from my thigh with a cruel twist and my argument was replaced by a ragged, agonized scream.
"That is not my concern."
I grit my teeth, trying to stop my head from spinning as I glared at him. "That's bullshit! What could you possibly need it for-"
His fingers sank into the fresh wound on my upper thigh, and the sound that rumbled out from his chest was very much like a growl. It made me press back against the damp ground in hopes of putting any distance between us.
"You will watch your tongue; that is your first warning. The second is that you have neither the need nor the capacity to understand what it is I've done for you. I will not abide your questioning me."
I think I might have actually been seeing red then.
My anger was so strong. The desire to lash out nearly uncontrollable. I knew that he was a god, accustomed to unquestioning adoration, but I was not one of his followers, or his concubines. For all intents and purposes, it had become apparent that I was his slave, and not yet ready to give all to this new master. As if dealing with Isaac had not been enough. Despite all this, I held my tongue (admittedly afraid of more pain), as commanded, and let the god-king lift me into a sitting position.
"Give me the pouch and be thankful I allow you to live for this treachery."
"Alright, Mr. Melodramatic." It slipped out, but he only frowned at me. After a moment, I let him pull the pouch from my fingers, feeling its absence even deeper having lost it twice. Cernnunos held it up for me to see and gave me a pointed look.
"I will hide this now, Mira. You will never again have even the opportunity to take it."
No! I wanted to groan, but didn't dare. This was it, my soul was lost. Cernnunos let me gaze at the innocent looking thing a moment longer before his hand closed around it and I watched as the light seemed to try and escape through his fingers. Then, with a dip in pressure that I could feel, and recognized as his power, the light was gone.
Extinguished forever.
Cernunnos turned his attention to my thigh, and brushed his thumb along the edge of the wound. "You do not feel it now because I have blocked that pain to keep you conscious, but my arrow shattered bone." He titled his head, "The arrow head is also coated in poison. It has already spread through your bloodstream and will take affect momentarily. I am disinclined to mend this."
This last bit was spoken as an afterthought. Far too blasé about any of this. For a moment, I only looked at him. Poison killed, or it could. He was threatening to let me die.
"I gave you the pouch back, can't you just-"
"You would have given me the pouch regardless. You cannot barter with what you do not own."
"Then," I grit my teeth, fear and pain giving way to anger as it always did. "What do you want?"
"This," Cernnunos nodded to the now empty pouch as he tied it back to his belt, "is important to me. In return, I will take something important to you."
"That wasn't enough?"
Suddenly, he shot forward and I found myself pinned back against the rough bark of a tree. The god-king's eyes seemed to glow in their intensity.
"Give me your body and I will tend you wounds."
For a moment, I only stared at him, half expecting him to smile or let in that it was a joke, but he didn't move and his expression was anything but comedic. I stared at him harder, searching for any kind of trick or trap, but he seemed to have been completely serious.
My jaw dropped. Was he really so low? Of all the degrading, terrible things he could have demanded in return for my life, and he opted for the most lecherous. Since when was his focus on sleeping with me? He was a god, and I had no doubt that finding a willing partner (especially with his breath-taking looks) wouldn't be a challenge. Then again, at the same time, if he wanted to punish me, this was a solid attempt. He was right, sex was important to me, in the idea that I got to choose who I had it with. Now he was taking that away, as if it were a favorite toy and I were a bratty child.
He was doing this, not because he had to, but because it would hurt me.
"You slimy, lecherous son of a bi-"
Cern moved so quickly it was a blur, but I felt the arrow piercing my thigh clear enough. Right beneath the first puncture. His palm went to muffle my scream and he bared teeth that were slightly pointed like some sort of predatory animal.
"I gave you your warning." He growled. I blinked away my fresh tears and nodded frantically. He continued to stare down at me a long moment, then slowly removed his palm and I sucked in a sob.
"Ok! You can have it. Yes, alright? Just…stop."
The god-king thought a moment then the pain from the arrow vanished and I watched as the arrow melted away as if it were made of mercury.
"This will not be pleasant." He said, placing his hand over my newest wound. Before I could question, pain worse than the stabbings had erupted in my thigh. My mouth opened for a scream, but the sensation vanished almost as suddenly as it began. When I looked down, the wounds were gone, smears of blood the only indication that they had existed at all.
The god-king stood then, snapping to indicate that I should follow suit, despite my growing rage I did, and he took hold of my arm.
"As much I as would like to conclude this deal, we have more pressing arrangements." Still clutching my wrist, he jerked me into movement and back toward the tree line.
"What kind of arrangement?" I asked with a frown.
"It seems my subjects have summoned me." He said simply.
"Subjects?"
He only smiled. "It is time, Mira, to meet the Fae."
And you thought he was going to be sweet, didn't you?