Remus watched Rebecca across the table as she pushed her food around on her plate. Seeing her again made him realize just how badly he had missed her. He had missed her smile, her laugh, the way she scrunched her nose when she was deep in thought, he missed everything about her and now here she was, it was like a dream. She glanced up at him from across the table and gave him a small smile and he leaned back in his seat as he continued to watch her.

"You're staring at me Remus." She said as she raised an eyebrow at him.

"I'm sorry…I'm just really glad you're here. Thank you." He said and reached forward and took a drink from the glass of wine. "Are you sure you don't want any wine?"

"Yeah I'm sure." She said getting quiet and looking down at her food.

"Uh so, I sort of wanted to ask you something." He said and sighed as he set down the glass.

"What's that?"

"Its going to be the one year anniversary of my parents…well I was wondering if perhaps, well you don't have to-."

"I'll come." She said and he looked up at her.

"Thank you." He said with a small smile. "I can't believe its been a year."

"Yeah me either." She said as they looked across the table at each other.

"Becky?"

"Yeah?"

"I never meant to hurt you and I hope we can stay close, we dont have to be together but I don't want to lose you, you mean so much to me and I could never ask you to forgive me but I love you and I promise you I will never leave you alone like that again." He said as he reached across he table, lightly laying his fingers on her hand. She shifted her hand but didn't pull away completely as she looked up at him.

"Remus don't promise something like that."

"I promise." He said and felt her fingers slightly curl to his and he lifted her hand slowly and planted a light kiss on it before resting in back on the table. She pulled her hand away as she closed her eyes and clamped her lips shut together.

"Is something wrong?" He asked and she held up a finger to him and got up. She walked away wordlessly and he watched her disappear to the back before he looked around confused. She returned shortly looking slightly pale.

"Becky is something wrong?" He asked concerned as she sat back down.

"Yeah, I'm fine, I just don't really feel that great." She said as she covered her mouth.

"Was it the dinner?" He asked looking at her plate.

"I don't know but I just don't feel that great."

"Do you want to go back?" He asked and she nodded.

"Alright I'll get the check-."

"I'm going to go wait outside." She said as she got up suddenly and walked outside.

After he paid he walked outside and saw her leaning over the trashcan.

"Sorry." She said weakly as she wiped her mouth and he rushed over to her and pulled out a handkerchief and handed it to her.

"What are you sorry about?" He asked humorously as she wiped her mouth.

"Well you just paid for dinner and I just regurgitated it so technically you paid for nothing." She said and leaned back over and gagged.

"Come on lets get you home." He said as he rubbed her back.

"No apparation." She said and he looked around.

"Well how to you propose we get you back?"

"Walk?" She suggested.

"Its over a mile."

"I'm just going to sit down over here." She said and walked over to the bench and sat down. Remus wordlessly made his way over and sat down next to her.

"There was this one time I remember, with my parents, we went on a day trip to the beach, and we had a picnic that my mum made and we walked around, played in the water, I couldn't have been older than 5, it was before I was bitten…" He said and sighed. "It was just one of those times where everything was perfect, you know?" He said as he stared ahead and then glanced at her.

"Yeah I know what you mean." She said as she scooted closer to him.

They sat in a comfortable silence as they listened to the bustle of the restaurant around them before she felt her stomach settle and she sighed to herself.

"Alright I think I'm ready to go back now." She said and stood up and turned to him.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah I'm feeling a bit better."

"Was it something in the food?" He asked as he got up.

"I don't know." She said with a shrug and they headed down the street. They made their way down the alley way and Rebecca glanced around for signs of any muggles before turning to Remus.

"I guess I'll see you later." He said and sighed as he looked around before looking at her.

"Would you…I don't know like to come back for a cup of tea or something?"

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

"Alright." He said and she took his arm and took a deep breath before she felt herself whizzed away.

Sirius sat around the headquarters listening the twins and Caradoc chatting about something, he had lost track long ago, his thoughts preoccupied by Rebecca. He had seen her earlier that day and overheard…well eavesdropped on a conversation of her telling Lily about the dinner she was having with Remus. He wanted to be happy for Remus, he was his best mate but he couldn't shake the feeling of Rebecca. He wanted to be the one to be with her, he wanted to be the one who made her smile and laugh, the one who held her at night, the one who's child she was carrying but sadly he was none of them. Had anything between them meant anything to her? Had she just been the rebound waiting for Remus to get back? The more he thought of everything the more envious and angry he felt. It wasn't supposed to be this way, Sirius Black could have any woman he wanted…any woman except the one he wanted. He had never wanted any girl like he wanted Rebecca, it was almost scary to him but he couldn't help it. For now he could just keep his head down and let it play out, silently hoping things would not work out between her and Remus.

Rebecca woke up on the couch next to Remus. The embers in the fire were long gone from when she had closed her eyes and she glanced around the room with a yawn, rubbing the tender spot on her neck from sleeping on it wrong. She felt Remus shift next to her and his arm from around her waist pulled away as he looked at her before standing up.

"I uh should be going-."

"You can stay for breakfast." She said quickly and he glanced at his watch before looking outside.

"I really shouldn't." He sighed. "Unless you want me to." He said softly as he ran his fingers through his tangled hair.

"I mean you don't have to Remus." She said as she got up and picked up the blanket they had used and folded it over the back of the couch and she turned to him. "If you're busy I understand-."

"No I'm not busy."

"Alright I'll go make…something, not sure if I need to go to the store." She said and walked out of the living room to the kitchen.

"If you don't, its fine." He said as he leaned against the doorway.

"I am sure I can find something to make." She yawned as she opened the fridge and looked inside. "Well what do you say to eggs, bacon and toast?" She asked as she dug through the fridge.

"Sounds fine."

"And I have tea up there if you want to make yourself a cup." She said as she pointed to the cabinet and he walked over and opened it up, searching for the tea.

"I didn't know you liked tea." He said as he pulled out a few boxes.

"I don't, Lily bought me some a while ago, I don't drink the stuff." She said as she got the pans going on the stove. "So do you have plans for today?" She asked as he put the kettle on to the stove next to her.

"No, I was going to go look for a job perhaps, maybe do a little shopping, I need to get some food today." He said and sighed. "What about you?"

"I have the night shift at work tonight, and I need to do some shopping as well, the fridge is looking a little bare." She said as she put the bacon on to the pan and felt something tickle the back of her neck and heard a sniff and she looked up at Remus who moved away from her.

"Did you just smell me?" She asked humorously as she looked at him oddly.

"You…smell different."

"I smell different?" She asked skeptically. "Like good different?"

"Its not bad, just different."

"You go around smelling me?"

"Well you have a unique smell, everyone does, it comes with having heightened senses, I don't know… you're the same but you're different, I don't know how to explain it, but you just are, not in a bad way, just a different way."

"Oh, that's nice." She said smiling as she went back to the food.

She finished with the food and they ate in silence, every once in a while glancing up at each other.

"So what was it like in the colony?" She asked as she picked up her orange juice and took a drink.

"Not what I had expected."

"How so?"

"Well I had expected complete chaos but there was basically a hierarchy, and it was a bit cleaner than I had expected too, but that's just one of the many."

"Are there a lot of colonies?"

"A fair amount, there are a few big ones and a bunch of smaller ones which are being recruited in to the larger ones, split apart by differences and so forth."

"Did you find anything useful?"

"Not really, I mean basically but we need the details." He sighed and she paused in her eating for a moment.

"Are you going back?"

"No." He said as he looked up at her and she nodded before going back to her food.

Sirius glanced across the table at Rebecca and Remus smiling at each other. It had been nearly a week since Remus had returned and it was almost as if nothing had happened. Did she forget he had just up and left her and pregnant nonetheless? Well he couldn't have possibly known but how could he just leave her like that? And here she was smiling and laughing with him, what happened to her being angry with him? Sirius glanced at James and Lily talking in hushed tones and he stared down at his place before glancing around the restaurant at the other couples having dinner, he was the odd man out, as always but it hurt that much more as he looked at Rebecca and Remus. She had just used him, it was obvious now, she felt nothing for him and he had been stupid enough to fall for it.

Rebecca and Remus walked up the path to the house together as she got out her keys from her purse and unlocked the door before turning to him.

"I want you to stay tonight." She said and took a deep breath waiting for his reply.

"Are you sure?" He asked, his brows furrowing together.

"Yes." She said as she stepped up to him, taking his face lightly in her hands as they looked at each other. His hand fell to her waist as he stepped towards her and hesitantly pressed his lips against hers. She didn't know if it was from the kiss or the cold weather around her as a shiver ran down her spine and she smiled in to the kiss before pulling away slowly from him. He looked at her confused before she opened the door behind her, taking his hand as she led him inside. Her hands shook as she unbuttoned his shirt and looked up at him and he took her hands and kissed them before she pushed his shirt off his shoulders and he let it slide down his arms until it fell to the floor silently. She ran her fingers lightly down his scarred chest and kissed his shoulder and sighed as his lips met her neck, planting tiny kisses down her collar as he tugged at the ends of her shirt, bringing it up and over and dropping it besides her. He picked her up and she responded by wrapping her legs around him. They stumbled blindly through the darkness of the house, lips locked together in a passion.

"Ow!" Remus hissed as his foot ran in to something making him half trip in to the wall.

"Ow." She groaned with a laugh as she rubbed the back of her head from hitting the wall.

"Are you alright?" He asked as he tried to find her face and she laughed.

"Yes I'm fine." She said smiling before kissing him again and they continued down the hall before stumbling on to the bedroom.

Rebecca watched as Remus slept nervously playing with the sheets in her hands and tried to think of how she was going to put this. The last few days had been so nice, would this spoil it? They had never talked about having a family but she could see it, she could see having her child with him. He sighed as he rolled over and looked at her sleepily.

"Hey." He said with a small smile.

"Hey yourself." She smiled as she lightly took his hand.

"Have you been awake long?"

"Not really, how did you sleep?"

"Pretty good." He said with a yawn.

"There is something I need to tell you." She said and kissed his hand lightly.

"Yeah? What's that?" He smiled. She took a deep breath as she felt her stomach flutter.

"I'm pregnant."

There was complete silence as they looked at each other, each passing second she felt her smile fading as a sense of dread came over her.

"That's funny." He said with a small chuckle and rolled on to his back.

"What's so funny?" She asked as she sat up.

"Becky I'm pretty sure it doesn't happen that fast."

"I'm 7 weeks along." She said and he slowly pulled away from her.

"Becky that's not funny."

"Now its not funny? Make up your mind Remus." She sighed.

"No- no you can't be pregnant."

"Actually I can and I am."

"Becky that would mean…you were-"

"Pregnant when you left, yes." There was another silence, as he looked at her shocked before blinking.

"Becky you cant have this baby." He said sitting up.

"What do you mean I can't have this baby?"

"It will turn out like me, it will be a monster like me, creatures like me have no business with children. You can't have the baby Becky."

"First off Remus you aren't a monster-."

"Becky you have to get rid of the baby." He said as he got up and started to pace. "I would never wish a fate like mine even upon my worst enemy let alone a child."

"Remus please be reasonable-."

"No, I don't want this baby!" He shouted and she stared at him, she could feel her stomach dropping and her mouth felt dry. How could he say something like that? She wordlessly got up and grabbed her jeans off the floor and pulled them on.

"W-where are you going?"

"That is none of your concern." She said icily as she pulled on a sweater and slipped on some slippers.

"Becky." He said as he walked towards her and she held up her hands to him, tears forming in her eyes.

"Don't." She said, her voice cracking before she turned on her heel and walked out of the room and went down the hall.

"Becky please." He said as he followed her to the front door.

"I can't believe you would say something like that." She said as she turned to him, her hand on the doorknob.

"Becky you have to understand-."

"Remus, I am having this child. With or without you." She said as she wiped her tears and walked out the door.

Lily heard a knock coming from downstairs. She glanced at the bathroom door where she heard the shower running and she sighed to herself and pulled herself up. She felt ready to burst; she could hardly believe she had another month and a half to go before little Harry came in to the world. She smiled to herself as she held her hand on her stomach as she walked downstairs to the front door. She opened it up and her eyebrows shot up when she saw Rebecca standing before her looking ready to cry.

"Becky, what are you doing here? Is everything all right? Is Remus okay?"

"He doesn't want this baby." She said and shuttered as she held back a sob.

"What? Come on in. I'll put on some tea…I'll make you some hot chocolate." Lily said and rubbed her back as Rebecca walked inside.

"I told him and he just flipped out." Rebecca sighed as they walked in to the kitchen and she sat down at the table.

"So start from the beginning."

"Well I told him this morning, maybe I should have just eased in to it but he just freaked out saying I can't have the baby and that it will be like him and that he doesn't want it."

"Becky I think he is just a little surprised."

"I cant believe he would say something like that, that he doesn't want his own child."

"That doesn't sound like Remus." Lily said as she sat the hot chocolate down in front of Rebecca and sipped on her own tea.

"I just…I didn't expect that."

"Maybe he just needs some time to think."

"James didn't react like that did he?"

"No but you know, things are different with you and Remus, I mean he gets back and finds this out, it's a little overwhelming, remember how you were when you found out?"

"Yeah…but to say something like that?"

"I am sure he didn't mean it Becky just give him some time to thing about it."

"Is Becky here?" James asked as he peered inside. "Hey is everything alright?" He asked as he looked at the two of them.

"Yeah, everything is fine." Lily said with a small smile and he walked over to the coffee pot and poured himself a mug.

"Anything I can do?" He asked leaning against he counter.

"Um…" Lily said and looked at Rebecca.

"Might want to talk to Remus."

"What's wrong with Moony?" James asked concerned.

"He isn't taking the news too well." Rebecca sighed as she ran a ringer around the rim of the mug.

"What news."

"I'm pregnant."

James choked on his coffee and wiped his mouth, as he looked at Rebecca surprised.

"You?"

"Yeah." Rebecca said with a roll of her eyes.

"Anyways Remus didn't take the news too well, he might need someone to talk to." Lily said and James nodded slowly.

"Oh, yeah I'll talk to him." He said and looked at his watch. "Well I have work now, I'll talk to him later."

"Becky you know that the chances of the child being a lycanthrope are slim, generally if one parent has the gene and the other doesn't in most cases the child doesn't inherit the gene."

"Yeah well Remus is pretty convinced it is going to be like him, I wouldn't care though, I mean I learned to deal with Remus' lycanthropy, I could work with it with a child."

"I'm off to work." James said as he walked over to Lily and gave her a kiss and leaned down and kissed her stomach and smiled at her as he rubbed it before looking at Rebecca. "I'll talk to Moony later."

"Thank you." Rebecca said with a nod before he walked out and Rebecca looked at Lily.

"I think Remus just needs some time." Lily said as she reached across the table and pat Rebecca's hand. "Why don't you help me clean?" Lily said as she got up.

"Why would I want to do that?"

"Well it will help keep your mind busy and you would be doing me a wonderful favor." Lily smiled as she gripped the table to help hoist herself up.

"I can't believe I am going to be like that in a few months." Rebecca said as she looked down at herself.

"It gets worse, I still have a few weeks left."

"I don't think you can handle a few more weeks." Rebecca said with a smile and Lily stuck out her tongue. "Alright I'll start with the dishes."

IMPORTANT! Alright i know this was a little slow and the next one will be too, just a heads up but it WILL pick up, i promise. At the moment i am trying to juggle my two jobs and full time student and to be honest...its not going too well. I am not going to stop writing this story but i am going to need a while before i get the next few chapters up. I didnt want to be the writer who posts once a month or so, i liked posting twice a week, ahhhh the good ol days when all i had was time, i miss those days. Anyways to make a long story short its going to be a while until my next post but hopefully by then i will at least have three chapters ready for you guys. it will probably be three weeks at LATEST. Keep up the great support, you guys keep me going. XOXO