Chapter 82

Confessions of a Lovesick Couple

Holly's POV:

For a split second after I opened my eyes, I was confused. I was lying in a large, high bed, under crimson sheets, and the room around me reeked of affluence. Then it hit me, I was in Arty's house. In his guest room just a few doors down from him, from the guy that I'm in love with.

Not very long ago, I had been bouncing to reveal my feelings, but that had been in dream world. Here in reality, it was different. Here I could see and feel all of the insecurities that had been pressing me down before I'd been able to admit my feelings to myself..

"Ugh," I groaned throwing myself back down unto the pillow. I just needed a minute to try to collect myself. As I was stretching my arms, I felt something rough under the pillow next to me; I pulled it out. It was a note, perfectly folded and pressed.

I'll admit that I wanted it to be from Artemis. I wanted it to be him telling me that he loved me, so that I wouldn't have to say anything but of course I'm nowhere near that lucky.

I sighed and unfolded the letter. The strong, thick, muscular slant of the handwriting, obviously came from someone of a large size, Butler. It read as follows:

Holly,

Letter writing is not exactly my style, but nonetheless I'm putting pen to paper in an effort to help you, so please try to maintain an open mind and keep reading until the very last word.

As you know, I love you very much. In many ways you are like the daughter that I was never fortunate enough to have, however I am tired of these constant mind games between you and Artemis. The two of you are in love, for the benefit of all of those around you and yourselves, accept it.

From the moment you and Artemis met, there has been an extreme passion between you two. At first, I chalked this up to dislike due to the kidnapping, but as time went on I began to see more in your banter battles and lengthy glare matches. Before long, it became apparent that there was really something else between you. Something romantic. And the longer that I watched, the more love that I could see growing as your insults changed from offensive and insulting to kind and teasing.

I've tried repeatedly to speak with Artemis about this, and every time he finds a way to tune me out. So now, I come to you, my last hope. You love Artemis. Tell him the truth. Do it for yourself and do it for him.

As a person who has waited a lifetime for love, I can assure you that it never gets better. The intense desire for that person is always there. Don't let the craving eat you alive like it has done to me.

Tell the truth. Embrace your feelings and stop hiding behind a wall of fear. Oh, and good luck, Holly. I have a feeling that you're going to need it.

-Butler

Even Butler knew. I don't understand how I could have been so blind. How could I not have seen these…feelings? And now my question is why am I so afraid to express them?

At best, he tells me that he feels the same. He sweeps me up in his arms, hugs and kisses me like he had in my dreams. And then he promises me that he'll never leave, that he'll always be there for me, and we live happily ever after.

At worst, he tells me that he doesn't like me, and it ruins our friendship forever. Then what? Things would be awkward, and neither of us would be able to look at the other in the same way. I'd just have to force myself to move on. But not talking to Arty… that would hurt me beyond anything else that I've ever had the misfortune of feeling.

So, as I see it, I have two options. To tell or not to tell, that is the question. Is love really worth the risk?

My mind strays back to my parents. Mom and dad would laugh at nothing at all, just high off of each other. They would talk for hours about the insignificant things in life. They laughed together, but they also cried together. One's pain was distributed across the two. It was as if they were one.

And then dad died. The haunted look in mom's eyes as she threw herself into work and me. She put on a good act, but there was always that broken part right under the surface.

So, what was the risk? To lose it all and have everything but what you really want or to put it all out there? Which cost was the least amount? And how much was I willing to pay?

I sighed, getting out of the bed. After all, I had always been a risk taker. I didn't know what I was going to do or what I was going to say, but then again no one does. That's the point of love. Jumping into the water and praying that you aren't swept away with the current.

I left the room intending to find Arty in his bedroom, but my feet carried me away down the stairs and out of the front door. I had no idea where I was going, but something inside of me was urging me forward. Right into the tall trees that stood on one side of Arty's property.

I walked through the forest for several minutes, trying to force myself to turn around, but that little voice inside of my head wouldn't let me.

Finally, my feet stopped moving. I was in a tiny clearing that was perhaps the only place in the woods receiving direct sunlight. And there was Artemis sitting with his back turned towards me. Even from here I could see how relaxed his posture was as he stared at Frond knows what. "Are you just going to stand there?" he asked.

The sound of his voice made me jump. How did he even know that I was here. "Excuse me?"

He patted the ground beside him, and I could feel the smile in his voice when he said, "If you'd be so kind as to please come and sit with me?"

My heart beat sped up slightly. "Fine." I plopped myself on the ground close to him. Close but not close enough to appease me. "What are you doing out here?"

"I find this place to be conducive to thought."

I couldn't help but chuckle to myself. "But you're Artemis Fowl. You can think anywhere," I reminded him. You know, just in case he had forgotten who he was.

"Of course, but sometimes a change in venue is necessary. After all, I do some of my best thinking here."

We lapsed into silence. That voice in my head was yelling at me to reveal my feelings, but my lips refused to move. I couldn't say anything. "Arty…" I trailed off.

For the first time, he turned to look at me. His mismatched eyes sparkled with amusement. "I'm assuming you were asleep?"

Asleep? How would he…? I glanced up to where his eyes were focusing. Ugh, my hair. I hadn't even stopped to brush it on my way out of the door. Great, how was I going to get his attention looking like this? "Ugh!" I groaned, trying to run my fingers through it. Thankfully, it came unsnarled pretty easily.

"Your hair was beautiful like that," he said.

"Thanks," I muttered, my skin turning bright red. He was the only one who had that effect on me. Who could say something that was so blatantly a lie and make me blush and stammer like a school girl.

Cue another silence. I couldn't take this anymore. It was now or never. "What are you thinking about?"

His eyes bored into mine like they were searching for something. What, I couldn't imagine. "The future."

Color me surprised. "The future? I thought you had it all planned out already."

He smiled slightly revealing his perfect teeth. "So did I," he admitted. "But it appears that even genii make mistakes."

Mistakes. Even a year ago that revelation would have spun Arty's whole world on its axis, but now he understood that not even he is perfect. He's grown so much into this person that he now is. What more can I ask for from him? Besides his love, of course.

"Care to be more specific?"

I could see opposing thoughts warring in his mind as he decided what he should say. "When we visited the mythical creatures, I was shown two possible futures, and I haven't been able to get either of them out of my head since."

I didn't know what to say. He had been shown the same things that cupid had shown me, and I knew this, but he did not. "What did they show you?"

"The phoenix showed me my life with Minerva as my wife, " he grimaced. "I was miserable and depressed and she ends up divorcing me."

"I'm sorry, " I said scooting close to his warmth and resting my hand on his. After all, divorce, even to a woman like Minerva had to be difficult.

He smiled weakly. "No need to be."

"What else happened in this future? " I asked, just wanting to compare what we had seen.

"You were married to Trouble. Unhappily, I might add." It was almost impossible to hide the sound of jealousy that buzzed in his voice. Or at least I thought it was jealousy.

"You know I'd never do that, right?" I asked him. "I'd never marry Trouble. He's not my type."

The genius' lopsided grin returned. "You never told me what 'your type' is."

Ah genii. They always remember everything that you say and everything that you don't. "You first."

I expected him to creatively change the subject as he always does, but he didn't. "My type. She's beautiful, different from any other woman that I've ever met. She knows me better than anyone else in the world though she doesn't know it yet. She's a shoulder when I need one, she's an ear when I need to talk. She's... she's my best friend."

My mouth popped open in shock. Had he said what I think he did? 'She's my best friend.' "What?" I stammered, unable to believe my ears.

"The vision that Flame showed me was so much better, and it took me a very long time to realize that it's what I want the most. I have a choice and that's the future that I want."

"What was it? " I asked. Yes, I knew what he saw, but how could I believe it? Could he really feel the same way? This whole thing feels like some sloppy romantic comedy, and now I'm just waiting for something good to come from this.

"It was you and I together." He paused. "And it was perfect."

His eyes bored into me, but I didn't know what to say. So, I just repeated myself. "What?"

"Holly, we both know that I am no good at expressing my emotions, but right now I'm trying my best. To put it simply, I love you. I've never felt this way for anyone else and I don't think I ever will again."

I felt the tension that was balled up in my stomach relax. He cared for me too. No matter what I decide, this moment is going to change my life forever. "Are you sure?"

"I've never been more sure about anything else." Never? That was a strong word to say, yet he did not even hesitate.

"And you want a relationship with me?" I wanted to clarify everything before I said anything. Before I made the move that would ever save or damn us.

"Of course I do, " he chuckled. "To put it in colloquial terms, I want you to be my... girlfriend." I smiled. I knew how much it bothered him to say anything colloquial, but he'd do it for me.

Though in all fairness, he deserves to know exactly what he's getting himself into before I say anything. "Artemis, are you prepared for this? My line of work is dangerous and it's just by luck that I've avoided getting seriously hurt."

He nodded. "I've considered this, Holly. Think about it, your most dangerous missions are always ones where we're together. Besides, your job is your passion. I'd never try to stand in the way of it or of you." And I could tell that he meant it. He really would understand. He was the only man in my life that would get it, that got me.

"We're of two different species."

"Two compatible species, " he reminded me. "As you well know both our bodies and emotions are matched." And again he was right. According to his and Foaly's research, our bodies were one hundred percent compatible, though the size difference would be... daunting to say the least.

And finally the point that worried me the most. "What about you, Artemis? You're human and I'm an elf. I'll live for centuries after you're gone. You should just cut your losses and go find some genius like Minerva." It was killing me to say, but it needed to come out because there's no possibility of a relationship if it doesn't.

He shook his head. "Holly, love conquers all. Together we can work through anything. Including my relatively short life cycle. And I'll be honest, if I don't have you then I don't want anyone especially Minerva. "

His eyes, his face. This was as honest as he had ever been to me. He means what he is staying. He does care. "Now, I'd like to know what you're thinking, " he said.

"I'm thinking that this is almost exactly like something out of my dreams."

"You dream about me?" He asked, a grin spreading across his face.

My own face grew hot as the blush stained my cheeks. I briefly considered lying, but what was the point? He would already know that I wasn't telling the truth. Besides what did I have to lose? Except my self-respect. "Only every night for the past year," I admitted.

"Really?" He asked. "And what do these dreams entail?"

"You. And you're always trying to convince me that you love me." And I always deny it, but there's no point on telling him that. Not after the moment that we had just shared.

"What do you usually say to me? " Ugh, that's the problem with Arty. He always wants every single detail of everything especially the things that I'd rather not tell anyone.

"Usually, I deny my feelings then you kiss me and promise to convince me that you really do love me."

"So, what are you going to say now?"

I looked at him. He wanted me to tell him how I felt, and now for the first time, I think I'm actually ready. "Artemis, I have feelings for you. I've been so afraid to say anything, but now I guess I just wanted to tell you that you're my type. You're smart, you're witty, and you understand me. You're strong when I'm weak, you're calm when I'm in turmoil, you're rational when I don't even know what the word means. You're sure when I'm going crazy. You accept me flaws and all. And that's why I love you." And with those three little words... 'I love you' I felt so free. I was finally alive. I was really breathing now.

And Arty was really beaming now, like I had actually managed to improve his life somehow. "What would happen in your dream right now?"

I blushed as I thought about it. "You would kiss me, " I muttered, looking at anything but those eyes.

"Really? How? " he demanded.

"Y...you'd just lean in and do it."

Arty began leaning forward slowly, making his intentions clear and allowing me a chance to back away. Even if I had wanted to, I knew that my body would not allow me to move. "Like this? "

I nodded, unable to speak. He leaned the rest of the way in, closing the small distance that was between us as his lips met mine.

None of my dreams did him any justice. His lips were so much warmer and so much softer as they gently moved against mine, but his gentleness didn't last. His lips became aggressive and his body pressed closely to mine.

The next thing I knew, his tongue was in my mouth. The warm, masculine taste of his mouth, driving me wild as his hands tangled themselves in my already messy hair.

I tugged at his soft strands, enjoying his moans. There was nothing better than the heated feeling in my stomach and limbs. Finally, neither of us could breathe anymore so we were forced to pull apart panting.

But apparently, I was sitting too far away, because Arty pulled me into his side and threw his arms around me. "So much better than my dream, " I panted.

His signature smirk spread across his face. "Thank you."

"You're pretty proud of yourself, aren't you? " I demanded, though I couldn't blame him. I was very proud of both of us, and would not mind a repeat performance as soon as we caught our breath.

"Of course. Though you still have not agreed to be mine exclusively." Exclusively. That was a word that Lili and Caballine always threw around as the 'end all' 'be all' of a relationship. Had it been anyone else, I would have laughed at the very thought. But this was Artemis.

"I thought our kiss was answer enough."

"I need you to say it, " he whispered, his voice vibrating with emotion that was always concealed if it had ever been there before.. "Please."

Please. That one word that could get almost anything from me. "Yes, Arty. I want to be your girlfriend, " I muttered, refusing to look at him.

His answering smile was the brightest thing that I had ever seen. "Holly, don't ever be embarrassed with me. I want to know everything about you." Everything? Everything?

"E…everything?"

"Everything. I want to know what makes you tick. I want to know what makes you laugh…and what makes you cry."

All of these things, touched me right in my heart. "I thought you weren't good at expressing your feelings."

"I wasn't until you came along. You have a way of changing me."

The genius who saw all of the good in me, and none of the bad. "Just like you do for me."

"I did no such thing. You've always been yourself and only yourself. I had nothing to do with it."

He just didn't know the truth. Frond knows that I learned so much from him. I'll tell him eventually, but for now it's best to let him think the best of me. "Whatever you say."

Arty and I lapsed back into silence as we stared up at the setting sun. I settled myself in between his long legs and kept his arms around me as I leaned back against his slightly toned chest.

The sun was sinking low and the sky was tinged with pink and orange. "You said earlier that in your dream after I kiss you, I'd make a promise, correct?"

"Correct," I replied.

"Well, I want to make you one now." His voice was so serious and quiet, so much so that I couldn't resist him and anything that he might have wanted.

"What is it?"

"I can't promise that I'll always do or say the right things. After all, I am a socially awkward genius. But I do promise that within the best of my ability, I will try to express my feelings. I will tell you the truth, and I will never let you go."

I smiled. The road leading to the point hadn't been easy, but even I had to admit that it had definitely been worth it. Worth every struggle, worth every tear, worth every denial, and worth every late night that I spent considering what we had. "You'll have to prove it to me."

"I intend to spend the rest of my life doing just that," he said before leaning in and kissing me again.

Both his lips and his promises left me breathless. "Can I make you a promise now?" I asked. After all, a relationship can't just be take; we both have to give.

"Of course," he assured me.

"I can't promise that I'm going to be good at this relationship thing or that you're not going to make me mad at times. But I can promise that no matter what, you're the one for me, and the only one that I want."

I could hear the grin in his voice as he said, "You'll have to prove it to me."

This time, I was the one to lean up and kiss him. "Don't worry. I intend to spend the rest of my life doing just that."

A/n:

Yay! Another Chapter Down! It's almost over. Can you believe it? I'm so completely excited, and I've actually decided to add the other chapters. Surely you guys will love me just enough to read three to four extra.

Today I turned 17, and I decided to post this chapter as a sort of happy birthday, because your reviews are totally a gift to me.

So anyway, that June 19th deadline got blown out of the water by my summer writing camp (obviously). I want to set another deadline, but this summer I actually sort of have vacation plans. But rest assured that I will update as much and as quickly as I possibly can. Hopefully, this will be done before the book comes out on July tenth.

Keep reading and I'll keep writing. Oh and review. Flames are welcome. They're what keep me warm and toasty at night. ;)

Remember: Reviews = happy camper. Happy camper = quicker updates. Quicker updates = you reading more. It's a cycle. Keep it going!

Yours truly, madly, and deeply,

Einstinette