Chapter Eight: Understanding

Lightning propped herself against a tree, grunting as she leaned her back against it. She had moved to sit in the shade once Caius returned with her cape soaked in ocean water. Knowing that the saltwater would disinfect her wound, she had wrapped it around her stomach and kept it there for a few minutes before Caius cast Regen on her so that the wound would slowly heal.

The worst was over. Now she just needed to stay conscious a little bit longer.

"You need to stay coherent, Lightning," Caius said as he sat down beside her. "Speak to me."

"About what?" she asked softly as she shut her eyes and also leaned the back of her head against the trunk of the tree.

"Let's start with what happened after I fell for that trap."

What exactly did happen? Lightning was having trouble putting it all in a logical fashion when she was so lightheaded from blood loss. In fact, she felt so terrible that she felt like begging Caius to just let her pass out. That was the weakness talking, and Lightning didn't have much weakness in her spirit. She just needed some time to compose herself, but she wouldn't get it. She and Caius both knew that it wouldn't be good for her to pass out when she was in such poor condition.

"Lightning," Caius prompted.

"The floor tile cracked beneath you and you fell," she mumbled, recalling it all. "I was questioning about whether or not to follow when the way down closed. I had no choice but to press on." She opened her eyes partway and looked over at Caius. "What happened to you anyway?"

"I'll answer that later," he said as he faintly shook his head. "I need you to keep talking to stay alert."

Understandable, Lightning thought as she nodded faintly. "I walked on ahead and saw a blue orb sitting on the pedestal. I touched it and memories of Averia appeared. First she was praying that Etro would spare someone—probably Yeul—from her curse. Then she ran outside and fought Long Gui for a little while. Then you showed up. I took my hand away from the orb because I was surprised, so the memory faded. That was when Rufus snuck up on me and made me his captive."

The story took a good few minutes for Lightning to communicate, though it wasn't because of weakness entirely. On the contrary, the Regen spell was working nicely in making her feel better. She just had a hard time focusing completely on the story for that reason. But at least she didn't feel like she was going to faint now. The spell was making up for the blood loss.

"Continue speaking," Caius urged.

Lightning shook her head. "That's all I can think to say."

"Then think harder."

What's your deal, Caius? she thought angrily. Why are you trying to tick me off again? I thought we had an understanding. "No," she snapped, looking over at Caius with furrowed brows.

Instead of looking appalled that Lightning spoke back to him, he nodded faintly. "Good, Lightning," he said with the faintest of smiles tugging at his lips. "You're fighting back. Now I know that you're truly alright."

"That's why you were egging me on," she blurted, blinking in surprise. He was making her angry…to make sure that she was strong enough to fight back. It was twisted, but one of the most sincere things that she witnessed Caius do. When he only grunted in response, she knew it was best not to point out his caring again. "Okay, now that that's done, I want some answers," she said in recovery. "Who is Averia and what's your connection to her?"

"That's a question best answered if you have some background," Caius said as he shifted his gaze to the ocean before them. "First off, that memory that you saw was twenty years in the past—600 AF. I was twenty years old at the time, and a warrior of the tribe that was slowly losing its members. There were so many monsters infesting the area that many of the warriors went off to the west to fight them before they could strike the village. Only one warrior—Averia—remained in the village. And the Guardian of Yeul obviously remained as well."

"You said before that you became Yeul's Guardian in that year," Lightning recalled. Caius had shared that information to her and to her friends in Academia right after they were all reunited. He had mentioned nothing of Averia though.

"I became her Guardian later that year," he said, nodding. "But this occurred first. I was fighting with the other men in the west, but the monsters were too strong. I was ordered to go back to the village and warn them to run to safety. On my way, I ran into Averia. Averia was the older sister of Yeul. It was not often in history that Yeul was born with a sibling, because whenever she was, the siblings grew to care deeply for her. She was the light of all times, and siblings always wanted to save her from her fate. Averia always did, and that was why you saw her praying to the goddess Etro.

"I must confess…That I admired Averia even if she confounded me," Caius admitted as he shook his head. "She was much like you. Headstrong, stubborn, and strong. But within the last six months of her life, I noticed her get softer. Yeul's fate was unforgettable to her and she constantly went to the temple to pray. That day when she left the temple, she ran into Long Gui. And…Well, perhaps the rest is best seen in the orb you took."

Caius held out his hand for the orb that Lightning had stuffed into her pouch. "The memories in it are from Averia's perspective, aren't they?" Lightning asked as she lowered a hand into the bag and cautiously dug out the orb. It was still radiating with a faint blue light, but no memories appeared above it as she held it before her.

"To anybody who was not there, yes," Caius said, eyeing the orb. "But when I hold it in my hand, it will show what I recall from that day. It will add onto Averia's memories that are trapped within this." He shifted his gaze to Lightning then. "Lightning, the only reason that I am showing this to you is because you believed in me back in the village. Do not take this for granted."

"I won't," she said instantly, locking eyes with Caius. Because she and he were much alike with how they handled letting people in, she knew that this was a rare treat. He truly trusted her with whatever it was she was about to see from his memories. There was no way she was going to be an idiot and take advantage of that. It could ruin whatever fragile trust they built up back in the village.

After a few moments of gazing into her eyes, Caius nodded slightly. He outreached a hand and grasped the orb. He held it before him and Lightning, the glow brightening as things began to change. A mist appeared above the orb, light blue at first and foggy. But then, the images became more clear. The first thing that Lightning saw was that the battle with Long Gui was already over. And Averia was in bad shape, like Corin had told her she was when Caius finished her off.

But instead of finishing her off, Caius ran over to her and put an arm behind her back as he propped her up. "Averia," Caius said lowly, eyes wider than usual when her neck was only supported by his arm and not her own strength. She was critically wounded and both of them were out of potions and magic. Averia, was going to…

"Caius," Averia said weakly, lifting her green eyes to the man who held her. Though her eyes showed pain, they were still masked so that she did not cry in front of him. "Listen…please…I need you to protect Yeul. I can't do it anymore."

"Yeul?" he asked in surprise. "She already has a Guardian."

"I know," she said hoarsely. "He's not fit to do the job. You're stronger than him. I know that you'll do what you need to do."

"What is it I need to do?" he asked as his eyes danced over her. She was losing her life quickly; there wasn't much time left.

"Save her…from the curse," she whispered.

He knew nothing of a curse. Though it was hard to imagine that Caius was ever ignorant to anything, he was at this point in his life. "What curse?"

"Etro…"she breathed, her body becoming limp in Caius's.

"Averia?" he grunted, startled. He shook her faintly. There was no response. "Averia!"

After a few moments, he realized that she was gone. She died because of Long Gui, but her will would live on in Caius. He had to protect Yeul for the sake of Averia, the one warrior that he actually admired and got along with. He slowly picked her up off the ground and headed into the village, knowing that he would have to explain Averia's death to those who lingered in the village.

Averia was recently married to a man named Corin, and though he loved her deeply, her feelings were not returned in full. But because of his deep love for Averia, Caius was not looking forward to handing him the body.

But speaking to Yeul was going to be so much worse.

Caius entered the village and saw everyone gathered, waiting for him because Yeul foresaw his coming. When Caius handed over the body to Corin, he grasped his wife tightly in his arms and screamed in anguish. His sobs echoed throughout the entire village as he sank down to his knees and sobbed over his wife. He wasn't in any mindset to listen to what had happened. So, Caius turned his attention to the ten-year-old Yeul.

But Yeul…She already knew what happened. As Caius knelt down before the girl, she lifted a hand to his cheek and just smiled sadly. "I know," she said quietly, stroking his cheek comfortingly. Her eyes should have shown innocence, but for the first time, Caius noticed just how aged her eyes looked. It looked like she had seen far too much in her life, yet she was only ten years old. Yet she was still sad over her sister.

"I swore I would protect you," Caius said as he lowered his head.

"I know," she repeated.

"That means I must kill your current Guardian."

"Yes," Yeul nodded.

"You are alright with this?"

"It is not my decision to make," Yeul said as she withdrew her hand. "I only watch the timeline. I do not have input in it."

That was the curse of the seeress Yeul, or so Caius thought. That was maybe the curse that Averia had referred to before her death. Yeul was cursed to watch the timeline but never make changes when something bad happened. Somehow, he would break her free of that curse.

Caius nodded faintly to Yeul before rising to his feet and leaving to go to his home. He had to train for the battle that was going to occur within the near future.

The misty blue aura faded as the memory came to an end. After a few seconds, the mist faded away as if it had never been there in the first place. Honestly, Lightning didn't know what to say to all of that. It made sense now…Caius honored the dying wishes of Averia and protected Yeul. When she died, he realized what the curse was. And then she was reborn and he had another chance to try and stop the curse.

"I wanted to protect her forever once I realized what her curse was," Caius said as he picked up where Lightning's train of logic left off. "It wasn't about Averia's wishes anymore. I grew to see Yeul for what she was. The light and hope of every single era. People looked up to her not just for her wisdom, but for the hope that she had in the future. Even if she died over and over…I wanted to protect her, and she wanted to live. Etro saw my will and I gained her heart so that I could protect Yeul forever. Only…I was cursed with seeing the timeline as well. I saw what Yeul saw all along: a future where all of mankind died."

Caius turned his head and looked over at Lightning with unreadable emotions swirling in his eyes. "I lost it. All of her suffering with the early deaths were for nothing if humanity was doomed to fail anyway. So, I set out to destroy the timeline."

"You set out to destroy it because you felt there was no hope for the future," Lightning said quietly, lifting her gaze to Caius after a few moments. "But…Why couldn't you use your powers to save it instead?"

"Because, whenever the timeline was changed, Yeul suffered unnecessary visions. It made her suffer more."

"I understand now…" she said, looking away from Caius. He was just trying to spare Yeul from the suffering that he had already seen so much of. Even if it was against her will and wishes to destroy time. Destroying it was the only hope that Caius had. Ironically, Yeul's only hope was to see a brighter future. None of this made Caius's actions right since he was sacrificing the deaths and sufferings of one for death for all the world. But she understood how he wanted to do everything he could to save Yeul. …He was dedicated; she had to respect that about him. Dedicated and disillusioned.

Lightning turned her head and looked over at Caius, her blue eyes showing that she really did sympathize with Caius and his plight. But even more than that, she sympathized with why he never shared too many details of what led up to him becoming Yeul's Guardian. And just how risky it was for him to share this information with her. "…Thank you, Caius," she said with a small nod. She was grateful that he shared this with her.

Caius Ballad nodded ever so slightly in return. "You should rest," he said after a few moments. "You must still be sapped from the blood loss."

"Yeah," she agreed. She really was exhausted. Losing blood didn't help, and neither did summoning the rifts. Like Caius pointed out the other night, it was exhausting to do that. It was nearly nighttime already so it was a good time for at least one of them to get to rest. She just hoped that this time, Caius wouldn't allow her to oversleep.

At first, she wasn't sure how to maneuver herself. But then she realized that her soaking wet cape was still wrapped around her waist. That was going to be uncomfortable to sleep in. She slowly unknotted it and laid it out beside her to dry. She also caught a glimpse of her stomach when she performed the movement and saw that the arrow wound was closed now.

Lightning sighed in relief. By tomorrow, she would be fully recovered from this ordeal. The soldier laid herself down on the ground by the tree, on her back as she put her hands over her stomach naturally. Caius continued to sit next to her in silence, but it didn't bother Lightning. She was starting to get used to the entity known as Caius Ballad.

Within a few minutes, Lightning drifted into unconsciousness.

*…*…*…*…*…*

Caius waited at least fifteen minutes by Lightning's side, just listening to her even breathing as the sun began to set. Today was interesting to say the least. His biggest surprise was that Lighting didn't believe that he killed Averia. Maybe she just wasn't one for trusting those who held her hostage, but still. She had much more of a feud with Caius than with those people, yet she chose to believe that he didn't kill Averia.

He didn't understand why that was. But he didn't bother asking either; he didn't want to know the logic behind Lightning's thoughts in the village. He already knew a great deal about her and how she reasoned, but today was a mystery.

His gaze went to the young woman sleeping soundly beside him. "I don't understand you," he said quietly, so soft that she wouldn't awaken. She sympathized with his plight to save Yeul and she didn't even know the whole story. He had left out something for some reason.

He travelled the timeline and was with many Yeul's. In the few cases where they had siblings, the sibling was always upset with Etro for giving Yeul the curse of the visions. In the beginning, Averia had reverence for Etro. But she grew to despise the goddess overtime for taking away the light and hope of the people with every cycle of rebirth. Averia was killed by Long Gui right after praying to the goddess and speaking to her angrily.

She wasn't the only one to have a fate such as this. Whenever any other sibling grew to despise Etro, they were killed by a monster or by a natural disaster. Why? Etro did not want them to influence the rest of the villages into believing that she was an evil goddess. She hoped that people would continue to view her as good so that one day when somebody strong attacked her, she would have defenders.

Her plan worked perfectly. Caius wanted to kill the goddess more than he wanted to just release her heart from his body. That was why he went to Valhalla and attempted to kill what was left of the goddess beside the Heart of Chaos. But he was alright with being killed himself just as long as the timeline was destroyed. Now he felt differently. Etro was despicably evil for twisting the lives of so many so that the world could become Valhalla. She did not understand the will of humans and how strongly they would fight back against such an injustice. She was a goddess out of touch with the hearts of men.

And Caius…he was practically a god himself. He was also detached from the suffering that he caused other people when he was trying to save Yeul. Perhaps he was insane. His actions appeared completely rational at the time, but now he was seeing the ramifications of everything. He had been the equivalent of the evil goddess. And as long as he had his way, he was okay with that. But…

Caius shifted his gaze to the young woman sleeping beside him. Lightning was partially the reason for his pondering. She always fought against him and it wasn't necessarily for her own selfishness. She did fight for the future that she wanted, but it was for the good of so many more than what Caius had been fighting for. "Would you tear down the world for even a few people that you care for?" he asked her softly, aware that she still wouldn't hear him. "You once thought killing Etro would destroy the whole world, yet after Serah's death, you were willing to kill her. Are you and I the same in that way? Are we really so selfish?"

The soft breathing of her slumber was his response. A slight chuckle left his lips as he shook his head. It had been a moment of weakness when she declared that she didn't care what happened to the world just as long as Etro paid for killing her sister. He had a feeling that once the rage died down, she would come back to her senses and not cause the world's destruction. "Lightning" destroyed, but Lightning the person feebly fought to protect the things around her. Serah, the future, and her other friends. It wasn't all in vain. Lightning had to be good for more than just destruction. Caius had to be good for more than destruction. All of her problems applied to him too. Was he powerless to do anything beneficial, or could he only destroy?

"Hmph," he hummed with a slightly bitter smile. He supposed that he would find out. As he travelled with Lightning, he tried to do more than cause destruction and broken hearts. At least, that was how he had been since they arrived in New Paddra. Before he hadn't sought to cause a broken heart with Lightning; he had been doing what was necessary to shut her out. That was selfish of him. From now on, he would try to be different. He would try to heal, not hurt. To build, not destroy.

The future was in their hands. They had to make it a good one.

*…*…*…*…*…*

Welp, that's the end of that chapter! It's a little shorter than usual, but still provides important stuff. Thanks to those of you who reviewed this week. As always, it's appreciated. :) Be sure to drop by a note for this one, and I'll see you guys again later this week for an update.